00:16It's the instrument we all play.
00:18It's the most powerful sound
in the world, probably.
00:21It's the only one that can start a war
or say "I love you."
00:23And yet many people have the experience
00:25that when they speak, people
don't listen to them.
00:29How can we speak powerfully
to make change in the world?
00:33What I'd like to suggest,
00:34there are a number of habits
that we need to move away from.
00:37I've assembled for your pleasure here
seven deadly sins of speaking.
00:41I'm not pretending
this is an exhaustive list,
00:43but these seven, I think, are pretty large
habits that we can all fall into.
00:51Speaking ill of somebody
who's not present.
00:54Not a nice habit,
and we know perfectly well
00:56the person gossiping, five minutes later,
will be gossiping about us.
01:03We know people who are like this
in conversation,
01:05and it's very hard to listen to somebody
01:07if you know that you're being judged
and found wanting at the same time.
01:14You can fall into this.
01:15My mother, in the last years of her life,
became very negative,
01:18and it's hard to listen.
01:20I remember one day, I said to her,
"It's October 1 today,"
01:22and she said, "I know, isn't it dreadful?"
01:27It's hard to listen
when somebody's that negative.
01:30And another form
of negativity, complaining.
01:33Well, this is the national art of the U.K.
01:37It's our national sport.
01:38We complain about the weather, sport,
about politics, about everything,
01:42but actually, complaining is viral misery.
01:44It's not spreading sunshine
and lightness in the world.
01:50We've all met this guy.
01:51Maybe we've all been this guy.
01:52Some people have a blamethrower.
01:55They just pass it on to everybody else
01:57and don't take responsibility
for their actions,
02:00and again, hard to listen
to somebody who is being like that.
02:02Penultimate, the sixth of the seven,
02:04embroidery, exaggeration.
02:08It demeans our language,
actually, sometimes.
02:10For example, if I see something
that really is awesome,
02:17And then, of course,
this exaggeration becomes lying,
02:21and we don't want to listen
to people we know are lying to us.
02:24And finally, dogmatism.
02:27The confusion of facts with opinions.
02:31When those two things get conflated,
02:33you're listening into the wind.
02:34You know, somebody is bombarding you
with their opinions as if they were true.
02:38It's difficult to listen to that.
02:40So here they are, seven deadly
sins of speaking.
02:43These are things I think we need to avoid.
02:46But is there a positive
way to think about this?
02:50I'd like to suggest that there are four
really powerful cornerstones, foundations,
02:55that we can stand on if we want our speech
02:58to be powerful and to make
change in the world.
03:02Fortunately, these things spell a word.
03:04The word is "hail," and it has
a great definition as well.
03:07I'm not talking about the stuff
that falls from the sky
03:10and hits you on the head.
03:11I'm talking about this definition,
03:13to greet or acclaim enthusiastically,
03:15which is how I think
our words will be received
03:17if we stand on these four things.
03:18So what do they stand for?
03:20See if you can guess.
03:22The H, honesty, of course,
03:25being true in what you say,
being straight and clear.
03:28The A is authenticity,
just being yourself.
03:32A friend of mine described it as
standing in your own truth,
03:35which I think is a lovely way to put it.
03:37The I is integrity, being your word,
03:40actually doing what you say,
03:41and being somebody people can trust.
03:47I don't mean romantic love,
03:49but I do mean wishing people
well, for two reasons.
03:52First of all, I think absolute honesty
may not be what we want.
03:56I mean, my goodness,
you look ugly this morning.
03:58Perhaps that's not necessary.
04:02Tempered with love, of course,
honesty is a great thing.
04:05But also, if you're really
wishing somebody well,
04:08it's very hard to judge
them at the same time.
04:11I'm not even sure you can do
those two things simultaneously.
04:16Also, now that's what you say,
04:18and it's like the old song,
it is what you say,
04:20it's also the way that you say it.
04:22You have an amazing toolbox.
04:24This instrument is incredible,
04:26and yet this is a toolbox
that very few people have ever opened.
04:29I'd like to have a little rummage
in there with you now
04:32and just pull a few tools out
04:33that you might like to take
away and play with,
04:36which will increase
the power of your speaking.
04:38Register, for example.
04:39Now, falsetto register may not
be very useful most of the time,
04:44but there's a register in between.
04:46I'm not going to get very
technical about this
04:48for any of you who are voice coaches.
04:50You can locate your voice, however.
04:51So if I talk up here in my nose,
you can hear the difference.
04:54If I go down here in my throat,
04:56which is where most of us
speak from most of the time.
04:58But if you want weight,
05:00you need to go down here to the chest.
05:03You hear the difference?
05:04We vote for politicians
with lower voices, it's true,
05:08because we associate depth with power
05:16Then we have timbre.
05:17It's the way your voice feels.
05:19Again, the research shows
05:20that we prefer voices
which are rich, smooth, warm,
05:26Well if that's not you,
that's not the end of the world,
05:29because you can train.
05:31Go and get a voice coach.
05:32And there are amazing things you can do
05:34with breathing, with posture,
and with exercises
05:36to improve the timbre of your voice.
05:39Then prosody. I love prosody.
05:41This is the sing-song, the meta-language
05:43that we use in order to impart meaning.
05:45It's root one for meaning in conversation.
05:48People who speak all on one note
are really quite hard to listen to
05:52if they don't have any prosody at all.
05:54That's where the word
"monotonic" comes from,
05:57or monotonous, monotone.
06:00Also, we have repetitive
prosody now coming in,
06:03where every sentence ends
as if it were a question
06:06when it's actually not
a question, it's a statement?
06:11And if you repeat that one,
06:12it's actually restricting your ability
to communicate through prosody,
06:16which I think is a shame,
06:17so let's try and break that habit.
06:22I can get very excited by saying
something really quickly,
06:25or I can slow right down to emphasize,
06:28and at the end of that, of course,
is our old friend silence.
06:34There's nothing wrong with a bit
of silence in a talk, is there?
06:38We don't have to fill it with ums and ahs.
06:41It can be very powerful.
06:43Of course, pitch often
goes along with pace
06:46to indicate arousal, but you
can do it just with pitch.
06:48Where did you leave my keys?
06:50(Higher pitch) Where did you
leave my keys?
06:52So, slightly different meaning
in those two deliveries.
06:56And finally, volume.
06:58(Loud) I can get really excited
by using volume.
07:01Sorry about that, if I startled anybody.
07:03Or, I can have you really pay attention
by getting very quiet.
07:08Some people broadcast the whole time.
07:11That's called sodcasting,
07:15Imposing your sound on people around you
carelessly and inconsiderately.
07:21Of course, where this all comes
into play most of all
07:23is when you've got something
really important to do.
07:26It might be standing on a stage like this
and giving a talk to people.
07:29It might be proposing marriage,
07:31asking for a raise, a wedding speech.
07:34Whatever it is, if it's really important,
07:36you owe it to yourself
to look at this toolbox
07:40and the engine that it's going to work on,
07:42and no engine works well
without being warmed up.
07:47Actually, let me show you how to do that.
07:49Would you all like to stand
up for a moment?
07:52I'm going to show you
07:53the six vocal warm-up exercises
that I do before every talk I ever do.
07:58Any time you're going to talk
to anybody important, do these.
08:01First, arms up, deep breath in,
08:04and sigh out, ahhhhh, like that.
08:12Now we're going to warm up our lips,
08:14and we're going to go Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba,
08:16Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba. Very good.
08:19And now, brrrrrrrrrr,
08:22just like when you were a kid.
08:24Brrrr. Now your lips
should be coming alive.
08:26We're going to do the tongue next
08:28with exaggerated la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la, la.
08:32Beautiful. You're getting
really good at this.
08:35And then, roll an R. Rrrrrrr.
08:37That's like champagne for the tongue.
08:40Finally, and if I can only do one,
08:42the pros call this the siren.
08:44It's really good. It starts
with "we" and goes to "aw."
08:46The "we" is high, the "aw" is low.
08:48So you go, weeeaawww, weeeaawww.
08:54Fantastic. Give yourselves
a round of applause.
08:56Take a seat, thank you.
08:59Next time you speak, do those in advance.
09:02Now let me just put this
in context to close.
09:04This is a serious point here.
09:07This is where we are now, right?
09:09We speak not very well
09:10to people who simply aren't listening
09:12in an environment that's all
about noise and bad acoustics.
09:15I have talked about that on this stage
in different phases.
09:18What would the world be like
09:20if we were speaking powerfully
09:22to people who were listening consciously
09:24in environments which were
actually fit for purpose?
09:27Or to make that a bit larger,
09:30what would the world be like
09:31if we were creating sound consciously
09:34and consuming sound consciously
09:36and designing all our environments
09:38consciously for sound?
09:39That would be a world
that does sound beautiful,
09:42and one where understanding
would be the norm,
09:46and that is an idea worth spreading.
