00:00normally earning respect takes years of
00:01demonstrating high character but there
00:03are exceptions and that's why in this
00:05video we'll cover six psychological
00:06tricks that you can use to command more
00:08respect almost instantly and to do it
00:10we'll be breaking down some of the most
00:11commanding presences that we've covered
00:13on this channel the first trick to
00:15immediately command more respect is to
00:17upgrade your thin slice people can make
00:19their first judgement on whether or not
00:20they like someone within just 5 seconds
00:22of seeing them and it's dramatized but
00:24we've all experienced the sense of
00:26liking someone as soon as we saw them
00:28like in the scene from Crazy Stupid Love
00:38Finn's laces are necessarily shallow
00:40judgements and it can be tempting to
00:41chalk yours all up to genetic luck of
00:43the draw but you do not have to be Ryan
00:45Gosling or Emma Stone to have a strong
00:47thin slice in fact one massive lever in
00:50your direct control is your clothes now
00:52the mistake that most people make here
00:53is dressing with the subconscious goal
00:55of blending in because they're
00:57subconsciously scared of being judged
00:58they dress like everyone around them to
01:00avoid even being noticed and I don't
01:02want to focus too much on this but there
01:03are two quick fixes first to start
01:06dressing one level nicer than the
01:08situation calls for which will get you
01:09noticed in a positive way and that's
01:11exactly what you see from Ryan Gosling
01:13and Crazy Stupid Love and second is to
01:15focus much more on finding a brand that
01:17fits and flatters your body type rather
01:19than finding the most expensive brand
01:22now after your style the next easy trick
01:24to influence your thin slice and
01:25immediately command more respect is to
01:27physically take up more space
01:29watch here has Tony Robbins own the
01:31space around him when he speaks and how
01:32it captivates his listener you know
01:34three dollars a week no twenty five
01:35hundred dollars excites him more that
01:38memory to this day than even the million
01:39bucks you know you did it first 24-hour
01:41version right or you break in the form
01:43in a million bucks out of your mind now
01:46physically taking up more space doesn't
01:48have to mean huge hand gestures that
01:50demand the spotlight it could be as
01:52simple as sitting asymmetrically or
01:53taking up your entire seat and the goal
01:55here isn't to encroach on anyone else's
01:57space in some kind of dominance game in
01:59fact you can always adjust to make more
02:01room for the people around you it's to
02:03sub communicate that you aren't afraid
02:04of being seen with your body and that's
02:07exactly what restrain jesters and
02:08shrinking body language do the easiest
02:11way to take up more space
02:12in a non-invasive way is with your own
02:14posture next time that you're about to
02:19enter a room just take a second to roll
02:21your shoulders back a few times and
02:22increase the space between the bottom of
02:24your ribs and your hip bones this will
02:26make you stand taller and you'll notice
02:28an immediate difference in how you feel
02:29as well as how people look at you now
02:31the next trick is closely related to
02:33taking up more space and it's to get
02:34comfortable with platonic touching and
02:36yes this one is on pause for the
02:38duration of social distancing but
02:39generally speaking most Westerners are
02:42awkward when it comes to making physical
02:43contact with others for instance waving
02:45hello instead of handshaking and
02:47generally avoiding any physical contact
02:48after that initial greeting but touch is
02:51integral to human connection and not
02:53just with romantic partners touch builds
02:55trust and creates a feeling of safety
02:56and of closeness it's one of the ways
02:58Oprah Winfrey connects with people so
03:07now obviously this has to be done
03:10correctly otherwise you can create
03:11discomfort and there's four key
03:13principles for making sure that your
03:14touch is appropriate and well-received
03:16first keep your touch to non central
03:18areas of the body like the hands the
03:20arms the shoulders and the upper back
03:22second keep each touch to roughly under
03:24five seconds if your touch lingers
03:26longer than that it can start to feel
03:27creepy third be a universal touch sure
03:30give it caring touch to the people
03:31around you regardless of your attraction
03:33to them and you'll come across as
03:34friendly and confident but if you focus
03:36on just one person then you might have a
03:37crush on you can seem weird and even
03:39predatory and force be mindful of how
03:41people react and of course calibrate
03:43accordingly if you see someone stiffen
03:45or lean back then you've gone too far
03:46and need to pull back yourself don't be
03:48like Seinfeld's close talker friend who
03:50is completely unaware of people's
03:52reactions now that we've covered body
04:00language in our first tips let's talk
04:01about the first trick that has to do
04:03with what you say and if you want to
04:05instantly command more respect from the
04:06people around you then don't allow
04:08yourself to be cut off mid-sentence most
04:10people think it's polite to stop talking
04:12when someone interrupts them in
04:13conversation but when you let someone
04:14bulldoze you into shutting up you're
04:16signalling that their opinions take
04:18precedence over yours and this is
04:20especially true in group conversation
04:22regardless of your political affiliation
04:23if you've watched the Republican
04:25primaries in 2016 you saw this play a
04:27big part in Trump's ability to make his
04:29opponents look weak as a candidate he
04:31supports federal taxpayer funding for
04:34Planned Parenthood I disagree with him
04:35on that that's a matter of biggest liar
04:38you probably are worse than Jeb Bush
04:43all right this guy lied let me just say
04:46it now to be clear that doesn't mean
04:48that you want to step on other people
04:49and hog the spotlight talking nonstop or
04:51even talking more than others but to
04:53command respect you should always finish
04:55your sentences when you have the floor
04:56even if someone is trying to talk over
04:58you watch how quickly a young Jaden
05:00Smith gives up on being heard in this
05:01next clip now compare that to Jaden's
05:10father will hear by coming in just a
05:21little bit louder than everyone else and
05:23making his sentence unstoppable will
05:25gets his joke heard gets a big laugh
05:26from the audience and immediately
05:28Bradley Cooper is excited to hop onto
05:30wills conversational thread now another
05:32perfect example is Russell Brand in the
05:34viral interview he did with MSNBC notice
05:45he doesn't yell he doesn't rush to
05:47finish he simply continues unfazed at
05:49his normal pace until he's completed his
05:51thought and then he defers this is
05:52something you'd like to learn more about
05:53we have a full video on how to stop
05:55people from talking over you that I'm
05:56gonna link to in the top right corner
05:57and the description box below
05:59just one last caveat on this this is
06:01most important in groups if you're
06:03talking one-on-one with someone you do
06:04not need to worry about this nearly as
06:06much but moving along the next
06:08counterintuitive psychological trick is
06:10to complement your competition the
06:12opposite trying to tear down another
06:14person's successes or talents is a great
06:16way to quickly lose respect even if you
06:18feel justified in your opinion sharing
06:20it makes you look bitter and jealous
06:31on the contrary actually praising your
06:34opposition shows a confidence that very
06:36few people have for example here's
06:37Jordan Peterson who is religious
06:39speaking about atheists and atheism
06:41there's a good case to be made for
06:42atheism I mean let's let's make no no
06:45bones about it because you could say in
06:48some sense there's been 300 400 years of
06:50brilliant scientists who've been doing
06:52nothing but laying the foundation for a
06:55non objective empirical atheism if you
06:58show this type of respect for an
07:00opponent's beliefs and achievements
07:01people will immediately be more open to
07:03what you have to say and they'll respect
07:04you for admitting that there is strength
07:06on the opposite side as well I am here
07:08tonight to say a few words about an
07:12American hero that I've come to know
07:14very well and admire very much
07:18Senator John okay now bringing it back
07:21to your own life to areas that this may
07:23apply are in work and in dating for
07:25instance when you elevate a co-worker by
07:27complimenting their work you elevate
07:28yourself as well because you show that
07:30you're fair honest and confident on the
07:32flip side and dating if you badmouth
07:33someone because you think your crush
07:35might like them you actually just make
07:36yourself seem insecure and petty and
07:38turn off your crush in the first place
07:40now there are exceptions to this of
07:42course there are people who can trashed
07:43all of their rivals in a way that
07:44commands tons of respect Muhammad Ali is
07:46a prime example of that right what a
07:49beautiful swing and the person is
07:51Frazier clean out of the rain
07:57but when they came for the fight that
08:00they would have witnessed imagine of a
08:01colored satellite this works for Olli
08:06and Conor McGregor because not only are
08:08they in environments where trash-talking
08:09is encouraged but there's also humour
08:11and over-the-topness to what they say
08:12that humor is what turns a potentially
08:14arrogant statement into a fun confident
08:16one now the last trick to instantly
08:18command more respect is to openly share
08:20your shortcomings most people
08:22incorrectly think that you have to hide
08:23your flaws put on a strong front and
08:25fake it till you make it right the truth
08:27is more nuanced and that's because
08:28people can sense when you're hiding
08:30something especially if you're
08:42she didn't mutual in reality people do
08:48not judge you on your shortcomings they
08:51judge you on how you perceive your
08:53shortcomings by being open about your
08:55imperfections you show that you're not
08:56afraid to be seen as you are this is the
08:58genius behind the final raf battle in
09:01rather than pretend to be someone he is
09:02in eminem owns the quote unquote bad
09:04things about himself and wins the battle
09:06ending the movie when you share your
09:11flaws and they don't embarrass you it
09:13shows massive confidence you just watch
09:15the reaction that brad pitt gets for
09:16this award acceptance speech let's be
09:18honest it was a difficult part the guy
09:21who gets high takes his shirt off and
09:23doesn't get on with his wife
09:28there's a big stretch it's big
09:36but you do need to know how to use this
09:39trick properly so that it doesn't
09:40backfire and the key is all in the
09:43you have two strong options here you can
09:44say your shortcomings as a joke like
09:46Brad does here or you could say it as a
09:48simple statement of fact with strong eye
09:50contact no stutter and a downward tone
09:57willing to paint himself in the shadow
10:00of his failures or makes a far more
10:02interesting conversation this night cam
10:05would sure take a seat by my side when I
10:09change now all these tips work
10:11excellently but they are hugely enhanced
10:13by deep authentic confidence and if you
10:15want to learn more about developing
10:16authentic confidence so that these tips
10:18become more second nature to you you
10:20might be interested in our course
10:21emotional mastery emotional mastery is a
10:2330-day program that is designed to help
10:25you master your emotions and your
10:27subconscious beliefs so that you
10:29consistently feel better than you might
10:30think as possible and the goal of the
10:32course is to raise the baseline level of
10:34joy that you feel on a day to day basis
10:36which naturally spills over into boosted
10:39confidence now the way this works is by
10:41focusing first and foremost on your
10:42relationship with yourself this means
10:45exercises that get you in touch with
10:46feelings that you may have been
10:47repressing for a long time so that you
10:49can put in end to those moments where
10:51you're being controlled by fear of
10:53rejection failure or conflict now a very
10:55common outcome is that members of the
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10:59lives and help other people on their own
11:01personal development journeys so I've
11:03actually added a bonus section that is a
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11:10only twenty thousand subscribers so it's
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11:14build a following from zero if that's
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11:18only the second time that I've spoken
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11:21before because we normally only offer to
11:23people who have joined our email list or
11:24the charisma university program and that
11:27means that there's actually no sales
11:28page explaining what the course is about
11:30it's just a checkout page so if this is
11:32something that intrigues you and you're
11:33curious and you want to know more the
11:35best way to check it out is just to
11:36check out the course directly with the
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11:40that the course comes with a 60 day
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11:44for any reason at all there's nothing
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11:48you just go to the billing section
11:50hit refund and you'll get every penny
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11:54but I do hope that you check this course
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11:57with more joy in your life and how to be
11:59less controlled by negative emotions
12:01that might be limiting you and they tend
12:03to limit most people this is what I'm
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12:13go ahead click the link below I hope to
12:15see you on the inside either way I hope
12:17that you've enjoyed this video and I
12:18look forward to seeing you in the next
