5 Questions to Ask Yourself Every Evening

The School of Life2024-02-14

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166K views|5 months ago

💫 Short Summary

The video discusses the importance of self-exploration to understand and address worries, sadness, and unacknowledged emotions. It introduces five questions for evening reflection, emphasizing the need to explore our inner world to enhance emotional well-being and cultivate a more joyful and calm existence.

✨ Highlights

📊 Transcript

✦

Our minds are constantly filled with 70,000 thoughts, which can lead to sensory overload and difficulty processing our experiences.

00:05

Many of our thoughts and feelings go unacknowledged, leading to anger and grief that haven't been properly addressed.

Self-exploration can help with our troubles by allowing us to understand and process our thoughts and emotions.

✦

The question 'What worry might lie behind the worry that is currently obsessing me?' encourages us to explore deeper underlying concerns.

02:20

We often use one worry to shield us from another.

This supplementary inquiry helps in uncovering hidden or overlooked worries.

✦

The question 'Who has annoyed me, and how?' encourages us to acknowledge and process our emotions when someone upsets us.

03:27

It's important to have the courage to acknowledge when someone has annoyed us.

Acknowledging the injury and its effect can help us refind equilibrium.

✦

Acknowledging the daily hurts and disappointments can help us mature and build emotional resilience.

04:00

We often push aside the slights, hurts, and disappointments to focus on the practicalities of the day.

Maturity is demonstrated by our capacity to explore our sensitivity and emotional vulnerabilities.

✦

Regularly scanning our bodies and understanding their needs can help to alleviate the emotions that have been unfairly burdened.

05:01

Emotions that are not processed can end up manifesting as physical discomfort.

Mentally scanning the body and addressing the needs of each organ can help to release and acknowledge these emotions.

✦

Focusing on small, delightful moments can help fortify us against despair and enhance our overall well-being.

05:50

Acknowledging and savoring small, lovely elements in life can help combat feelings of despair.

We need to make a conscious effort to appreciate and squeeze joy out of beneficial elements that might otherwise be forgotten.

00:05 our minds are some of the busiest places

00:07 in the known universe it's estimated

00:10 that under a deceptively calm exterior

00:13 some 70,000 separate thoughts hurry

00:16 through Consciousness from the moment we

00:18 wake up to the time we slip into sleep

00:21 what many of these thoughts have in

00:22 common is that we seldom do them any

00:25 kind of Justice the result is a kind of

00:28 sensory overload and an immense

00:31 difficulty processing what we've

00:33 actually been through we don't have time

00:35 to feel the anger we're beset by we

00:38 don't have the wherewithal to give room

00:40 to the sadness that nags at us we can't

00:43 on too many occasions properly think our

00:46 own thoughts or feel our own feelings

00:50 but these thoughts and feelings do need

00:52 to be understood and will protest more

00:55 or less actively when they're not anger

00:58 that hasn't been given its due will

01:00 emerge as irritability grief that hasn't

01:03 been honored will metas into aimlessness

01:05 and despair what we call mental

01:08 illnesses are usually the outcome of

01:11 periods of Our Lives that we haven't had

01:13 the strength or opportunity toand or

01:17 mourn what can help our troubles is

01:21 self-exploration and that's why we've

01:22 produced five questions that we suggest

01:25 can be rehearsed every evening on a

01:28 regular basis and will help to appease

01:31 the sources of our

01:33 troubles first question what am I really

01:37 worried about this question recognizes

01:40 something rather unusual about how we

01:42 operate we frequently don't stop to ask

01:45 ourselves what we're truly worried about

01:49 this sounds odd surely if we're worried

01:51 we would be expected to pause rather

01:53 quickly and explore why but our minds

01:55 seem not to work in this supremely

01:57 logical sounding way they feel anxious

02:00 long before they're ever motivated to

02:02 ask themselves why they might be so they

02:05 can carry on for months even years under

02:08 the fog of diffuse concern before

02:11 setting themselves the challenge of

02:13 zeroing in on what is really at stake so

02:16 the question bids us to stop running and

02:18 to turn around and look at what might

02:20 actually be ailing us the use of the

02:23 word really is strategic we often use

02:26 one worry to Shield us from another we

02:28 worry about an upcoming interview to

02:31 protect us from worrying about the state

02:33 of our relationship we worry about money

02:36 in order not to worry about death so it

02:39 can be helpful to keep a supplementary

02:41 inquiry in mind what worry might lie

02:44 behind the worry that is currently

02:47 obsessing me second question what am I

02:51 presently sad about we can make a

02:54 generalization we go around being far

02:56 braver than is good for us because we

02:59 need to get on with the practicalities

03:00 of the day we frequently push to the

03:02 side all the slights hurts

03:04 disappointments and griefs that flow

03:07 through our River of Consciousness we

03:09 choose not to notice how vulnerable we

03:11 are for fear that we cannot afford our

03:14 own sensitivity but stoicism and

03:16 strength carry their own dangers with

03:18 the help of this question we should give

03:20 time to noticing that despite our

03:22 competent and strong exteriors lots of

03:25 smaller and larger things have managed

03:27 to hurt us today like every day

03:30 perhaps someone didn't laugh when we

03:31 told a joke our partner has been a

03:33 little distant of late a friend didn't

03:35 call a senior figure at work was less

03:38 than completely impressed we don't need

03:41 to mock ourselves we aren't weaklings

03:43 for being fragile in fact there is no

03:46 clearer evidence of our maturity than

03:49 our capacity to explore the ways in

03:51 which we like everyone else on the

03:53 planet are as sensitive and easily

03:55 bruised as a

03:57 child third question who has annoyed me

04:01 and how we want to be polite of course

04:04 we're attached to the Norms of

04:06 civilization it upsets us to think we

04:08 might be upset nevertheless here too we

04:12 need to have the courage of our actual

04:14 sensitivity no day goes by without

04:17 someone annoying Us in some rather

04:19 fundamental way usually without them in

04:22 any way meaning to our spirits will be

04:24 lighter if we can bring ourselves to

04:26 spell out the injury what happened how

04:29 did it make us feel what might we tell

04:31 ourselves to refind equilibrium if we

04:33 were lucky we used to do this sort of

04:35 thing with a kindly parent when we

04:37 returned home from school now as careful

04:40 Guardians to ourselves we can

04:42 internalize the process and use our

04:45 inner adult to soothe the always easily

04:48 flustered but also easily calmed inner

04:52 child fourth question what does my body

04:55 want much of what we feel but don't

04:58 process has a habit of ending up in our

05:01 bodies that's why we develop back ache

05:04 tense shoulders knotted stomachs and

05:07 fluttery hearts in order to live more

05:09 easily around our bodies we should

05:11 regularly drain them of the emotions

05:14 that they have unfairly been burdened

05:16 with we should mentally scan our bodies

05:19 from top to toe and ask ourselves what

05:21 each organ might require what do my

05:24 shoulders want to tell me what would my

05:27 stomach want to say what does my back

05:29 need what do my legs crave the questions

05:33 may sound strange what is surprising is

05:35 that we're likely to have some very

05:37 concrete answers just waiting for us

05:40 when we

05:41 ask fifth question what is still lovely

05:46 despite so much that's difficult every

05:48 day brings us up against a range of

05:50 things that still delight and enchant us

05:53 often these elements are small the light

05:55 on the kitchen wall in the morning a

05:57 child holding its parents hand at the

05:59 bus stop a fig we had at lunchtime these

06:02 might not sound like things we should

06:03 bother to register but summoned up in

06:06 their full richness and held in our

06:08 attention for a few moments they can

06:10 help to fortify us against the voices of

06:13 Despair we tend to assume that if

06:15 something is lovely it will strike our

06:17 minds as being so with full force

06:20 without us needing to do anything

06:23 supplementary the reality is stranger we

06:26 need to make a conscious effort to

06:27 squeeze joy out of beneficial elements

06:31 that might otherwise be forgotten

06:32 without notice our lives have some

06:35 lovely aspects to them but we may

06:38 surprisingly regularly and rather

06:40 clumsily have to make a list of them in

06:43 order to realize that they exist when

06:46 Socrates apparently the wisest man of

06:48 antiquity was asked to Define our

06:50 highest purpose as human beings he

06:52 offered a still legendary answer to know

06:56 ourselves we should aspire to be people

06:58 who never see to try to make sense of

07:00 themselves at the close of every day we

07:03 should devote ourselves constantly to

07:05 trying to shrink the scale of the

07:07 darkness within us bringing what was

07:10 once in Shadow closer to the light of

07:13 interpretation so that we stand a chance

07:15 of becoming slightly less frantic and

07:18 rather more joyful creative and calm

07:22 creatures

💫 FAQs about This YouTube Video

1. How can we learn to deal with our worries and anxieties?

Learning to deal with our worries and anxieties involves self-exploration and reflection. By asking ourselves specific questions every evening, we can better understand the sources of our troubles and gradually learn to manage our worries and anxieties more effectively.

2. What are some of the potential benefits of self-exploration?

Self-exploration can help us understand and address our worries, anxieties, and unacknowledged emotions. It can also lead to increased self-awareness, improved mental well-being, and better emotional management.

3. Why is it important to acknowledge unacknowledged thoughts and feelings?

Acknowledging unacknowledged thoughts and feelings is crucial for our mental and emotional well-being. Ignoring or suppressing these thoughts and feelings can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and the potential for mental health issues. By facing and addressing these internal struggles, we can work towards a healthier mindset.

4. How can the practice of asking specific self-reflection questions help in understanding our worries and anxieties?

The practice of asking specific self-reflection questions can bring our worries and anxieties to the forefront of our awareness. By consistently engaging in this practice, we train ourselves to confront and understand these challenges, leading to better emotional management and an improved sense of control over our mental well-being.

5. What role does self-awareness play in managing worries and anxieties?

Self-awareness is a critical factor in managing worries and anxieties. By developing a deeper understanding of our thought patterns and emotional reactions, we can more effectively intervene in negative cycles and cultivate a more balanced and resilient mental state.

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