00:00I'm Jimmy on the host of the show I
00:03thank you for watching at home thank you
00:05for joining us here in the studio
00:09welcome another stormy day in New York
00:12in the new episode of the orange
00:14People's Court today starring Donald J
00:17Trump as the defendant is first of many
00:19criminal trials to come we have a lot to
00:21look forward to prosecutors kicked off
00:23day two filing documents saying Trump
00:25violated the judge's gag order uh for
00:28that Trump would be fined $1,000 per
00:30offense that should stop him you know
00:34that's Ebenezer snooze was up Bri and
00:37early today mashing those little fingers
00:39on his phone lashing out at the judge he
00:41wrote this conflicted trumpeting judge
00:44won't let me respond to people that are
00:45on TV lying and spewing hate all day
00:48long he is running rough shod over my
00:50lawyers and legal team blah blah blah
00:53election interference rigged
00:55unconstitutional trial take off the gag
00:57order only Donald Trump would complain
00:59about being under gag order while
01:01violating that very gag
01:05judge now will hold a hearing on whether
01:09to hold Trump in contempt which if he
01:11were any other defendant this kind of
01:13stuff would likely get him up to 30 days
01:16of jail time and whether that is on his
01:17mind or not was a question for Trump's
01:20legal adviser alen Haba is he concerned
01:23about the possibility of being sent to
01:25jail as a ramification of these he's not
01:28concerned about being sent to jail
01:30I I don't I I think like anybody he's
01:33concerned about going to jail but if
01:35they put him in jail for his first
01:36amendment right he will be like Nelson
01:40Mandela just like him like exactly he'll
01:43be Nelson Mandela Fant is what he'll be
01:46last week he was Abe Lincoln this week
01:48he's Nelson Mandela he's next week who
01:50knows maybe Jesus we'll see the Trump
01:53campaign also pushed back on reports
01:55that he fell asleep in court yesterday
01:58they said that was fakes news and not
02:00true but then today according to a
02:02number of reporters in the room he dozed
02:04off again he's very sleepy is it
02:06possible his lawyers are tranquilizing
02:08him to keep the outbursts at a minimum I
02:12don't know but the gags were off outside
02:14the courthouse this morning where Trump
02:16floated a new line of defense from the
02:18hallways of Justice I was paying a
02:21lawyer and marked it down as a legal
02:24expense some accountant that I didn't
02:26know Mark it down as a legal expense
02:29that's exactly what it was and you get
02:32indicted over that yeah
02:36yeah the most amazing thing is he claims
02:38he didn't have sex with Stormy Daniels
02:40he just paid her 130 grand out of the
02:42goodness of his heart and the truth is
02:45paying a woman to keep her quiet about
02:47having sex with you while your wife was
02:48at home with your newborn baby isn't
02:50illegal what's illegal is falsifying
02:53records to make it a business expense
02:55which he made so his supporters wouldn't
02:57find out he's a lying cheating scumbag
02:59with but the joke is on Trump because
03:01turns out his supporters don't care that
03:04he's a lying cheating scumbag he could
03:06have saved himself a whole trial and 130
03:09Grand first of all you know him better
03:12than anybody right the man is a
03:16germaphobe you know where I'm going with
03:18this if he had an affair
03:21if okay Services were paid for services
03:24rendered Services paid for right so what
03:27are we talking about lots of men use
03:30prostitutes but that's that's alleged
03:32and she even denied that Affair so yeah
03:35so the man is a gerap he's a
03:37professional and he's a gentleman so I
03:39don't see him getting tangled up in that
03:40in the first place right he's much too
03:43much of a gentleman to get tangled up
03:46with that and I'm too much of an ass
03:47kisser to say otherwise but what planet
03:50do these people live on jury selection
03:52continued today uh seven jurors have now
03:55been picked they need 12 jurors and six
03:57alternates both sides have been working
03:59to whittle out anyone who might be
04:01biased in the other one's Direction one
04:03potential juror was an older woman who
04:05said she believes no one is above the
04:07law and Trump's lawyers are like get her
04:10out of here right now Trump got a
04:12warning from the judge because he was
04:14gesturing and muttering in the direction
04:16of a potential juror one of the things
04:19they do and this is fascinating they go
04:20through people's Facebook pages to see
04:23if they posted anything see if they
04:24posted anything about Trump can you
04:26imagine having all your old social media
04:28posts about Trump read aloud while he is
04:30sitting right in front of me there might
04:33be my vision of heaven
04:38show she did not attend but she didn't
04:42need to be there because Trump gets all
04:43the support he needs from one of his
04:45AIDS whose job it is to print out good
04:48news and nice comments about him from
04:49the internet and hand them to him she
04:51sits a couple rows behind him this is
04:53the internet print out assistant Natalie
04:55harp what a surprise she's attractive
04:58and um she's a former post from one Amer
05:00news her current job is polishing
05:03Trump's ego according to a story from
05:05the Washington Post she accompanies
05:07Trump on his daily golf outings writing
05:09the course in a golf cart equipped with
05:11a laptop and sometimes a printer to show
05:13him uplifting news articles online posts
05:16or other materials she's like his mood
05:20caddy and he is not in a good one right
05:23now liger Woods doubled down on his
05:25claim that the judge won't let him go to
05:27his son Baron's High School graduation
05:29even though the judge has not made a
05:31ruling on that he wrote who will explain
05:34for me to my wonderful son Baron who is
05:36a great student at a fantastic school
05:39that his dad will likely not be allowed
05:41to attend his graduation ceremony I
05:43don't know it seems like maybe you
05:46one to explain it since you're the you
05:49are the one who paid off the porn star
05:50right so I vote you I again even though
05:53the judge hasn't made any decision about
05:56whether Trump can go to the graduation
05:57or not the Magus feere is Furious about
06:00it Baron's his baby that's his youngest
06:02child obviously he wants to be I think
06:04it's May 17th is the is the graduation
06:06Caroline that I I I almost think Trump
06:08should call the judges Bluff and because
06:11I think people will rally around him and
06:13if the judge holds him in contempt I
06:15think people especially the people that
06:16matter Independents moderates people in
06:18the middle people that are still on the
06:20fence about who they're going to vote
06:21for I think anybody can relate to
06:23wanting to go to your child's graduation
06:24and it's not like this is a homicide
06:26trial okay this is a glorified you know
06:29error in paperwork right it's a
06:32paperwork error there you've never
06:34accidentally forgot to check a box or
06:36keep your pants on when a porn star
06:38comes to your hotel room it happens to
06:41all of us okay and let me tell you
06:42another thing Donald Trump is about as
06:44bummed out about potentially missing
06:46this High School graduation as he was
06:48about missing Vietnam he didn't want to
06:50go to either one and of course the whole
06:53Trump Clan is getting in on this
06:54graduation travesty Don Jr called the
06:58judge Pure Evil Eric wrote judge meran
07:01is truly heartless and not letting a
07:03father attend his son's graduation ianka
07:07posted a moto thing okay she doesn't
07:09care I'm sure she'll get to it soon
07:12she's busy with the Motocross but then
07:14the worst news for the Trump kids is
07:16daddy is running out of money shares for
07:19his Media company have plummeted they're
07:21down 70% since they went public a couple
07:23of weeks ago they're down another 14%
07:26today and um I don't know if you're
07:29following the stock market I don't but I
07:31thought this was interesting this is the
07:33tracker for Trump media and Technology
07:35stock this is truth social Etc you can
07:37see the big drop that occurred yesterday
07:39but even weirder if you take those Peaks
07:42and valleys from the past week or so and
07:44you flip them on their side go and flip
07:46them and then add a little bit of color
07:50them there's something there there
07:55something if you bought Trump stock two
07:58weeks ago and shame on you if you did
08:02you lost half your money but if you hold
08:04on just a little bit longer you might be
08:06able to lose all of it so meanwhile
08:08President Biden is out courting voters
08:10he was in his hometown of Scranton
08:12Pennsylvania today where he focused his
08:14thoughts on Americans who've been hit
08:16hard financially just the other day a
08:18defeated looking guy came up to me and
08:22help he was drowning in Deb I said I'm
08:26sorry Donald but I can't help you
08:32that's that's what we
08:35need pretty good one for a guy who can't
08:39together in Greece today they lit the
08:42Olympic flame ahead of the summer games
08:44in Paris they will uh then run that
08:47Olympic flame all the way to Paris and
08:49boy by the way if this doesn't get you
08:51fired up for water polo I don't know
08:53what will this is they um so then they
08:55figured out which of these women were
08:57virgins and they threw them into Mount
09:00and then one of them released a
09:01ceremonial Dove to uh I guess uh
09:05represent peace and Harmony and all the
09:07things that dobs represent watch here
09:09I'll be quiet we'll just take this
09:23moment a a come you know what she ruins
09:31shameful in Arizona the state supreme
09:34court uh last week bar banned nearly all
09:37abortions by enforcing a law that was
09:421864 it's so controversial even Trump is
09:45trying to distance himself from it but
09:46there's an interesting story about how
09:48the law came to be during the Civil War
09:50Abraham Lincoln hired a lawyer named
09:52William T Howell to write the legal code
09:54for the new territory of Arizona his job
09:57was to make sure that the new law
09:59abolish slavery which they did but he
10:01also worked in in a number of other laws
10:04in including aan on abortion which is
10:06the law of the Supreme Court decided to
10:08uphold last week 160 years later and the
10:11person we have to thank for that is
10:13Justice William T Howell who obviously
10:15is not with us anymore but he is the
10:20what who dares Sully the honor of I
10:24Arizona associate Justice William T
10:27Howell who wrote The Law of WI which you
10:30just um I I do I guess well then prepare
10:34thyself for a spectral confrontation you
10:37Italian csac punch pun pish push
10:46okay let that be a lesson to thee okay
10:49well listen Justice Howell a lot of
10:51Americans I don't know if you know this
10:52are very angry that your law is taking
10:55away women's rights well if these women
10:58didn't want to be with child why did
11:00they not sneeze after being pistoned
11:03with a fully engorged giggle
11:06stick why tell me did they not scrub
11:09their floral regions with Barrel
11:13grease bar barel with Barrel grease how
11:16did you become a judge I studied at a
11:19very prestigious Law Academy and was the
11:22pupil who shot the most nickels off a
11:30does that satisfy your query you Godless
11:32spaghetti gobler no that no that
11:36actually made no sense just like your
11:37law and which I think Arizona should
11:39nullify as soon nullify nullify my law
11:44why you soft-handed mug eared fat
11:46kidneyed onion eyed rattlesnake Fang on
11:50the scrotum I just you bacon faced
11:53Pipkin headed brisket beating rump fed
11:57hens sucked Caper Merchant okay I don't
11:59even you Scotch fiddled gorbellied pox
12:02infested son of a bootless hedge
12:18Jimmy busting makes me feel good
