00:00a lot of things have been happening over
00:01the years this past year I had uh the
00:04opportunity to be on a reality show and
00:05things kind of worked out a little
00:07weird know but hey all I can say is the
00:09winner the winner is the winner and he
00:11did what he did and he got what he got
00:14you know but hey this ain't bad for
00:23yeah I'm not the Last Comic Standing but
00:26I'm the only one with a Comedy Central
00:39I know my mom is here tonight she's
00:44like I love my mom she's over here you
00:46guys just say hi to her come
00:55there that little woman made
00:58me and she tells everybody no he came
01:02here I this is the road to
01:09success she is not shy she cracks me up
01:11though man because she likes what I do
01:13because it's it's working but she still
01:15doesn't get the jokes it's not that she
01:17doesn't speak English cuz she speaks
01:18perfect English she just doesn't see me
01:20as a comedian she sees me as her son I
01:23can't tell her a joke cuz then she
01:25questions it and kills it right I can
01:27tell her something like you know Mom
01:28why' the chicken cross the road Road and
01:30I'll get who let out the
01:36chicken it's a joke it's no joke baboso
01:39you know how much I paid for those
01:45chickens never mind no you never
01:49mind it's cool though man she seen me do
01:52a lot of things uh a lot of people say
01:55well you give your mom a shout out what
01:56about your dad well he's not in the
02:00um I'm going put some beans out there my
02:05mariachi way oh I swear to god dude he's
02:07one of those straight up you
02:10know and my mom hooked up with him about
02:1230 plus years ago one night and uh you
02:15know nine months later and I came
02:19out so I have a vague memory of my
02:22father I knew him until I was about you
02:23know maybe four years old and then
02:25apparently they got the band back
02:26together and he took off
02:30and I don't remember exactly what he
02:33looks like and sometimes I'll take my
02:34mom out to dinner and I'll go mom just
02:36you know I don't mean to bug you about
02:37this but you know what what does he look
02:39like you know do you have any photos or
02:41anything I can get an idea and stuff and
02:43my mom she's funny she grabs the hot
02:56funny just like that
02:59those of you that don't know there's a
03:01picture of a mariachi on the bottle of
03:05sauce but yeah so we we're doing okay I
03:08found out that Frankie is very sensitive
03:12about his mom and he's at the age right
03:14now where affection really bothers him
03:17not necessarily from me because if I try
03:19to hug him he's cool with it because I I
03:21give those quick bro hugs you know like
03:22hey hey what's up you know however if
03:25his mom is standing right next to me and
03:28I reach over and I grab her hand he sees
03:30that as gross and he'll make the
03:37what the hand that's gross dad I go
03:41that's not gross Franky that's not gross
03:50mouth that's his weak spot and I go for
03:53it every single time one day I was
03:55ironing one of my shirts that I was
03:57going to put on right I'm ironing the
03:58shirt and I'm talking to him about his
03:59grades as I'm talking to him about his
04:01grades there's a car driving in front of
04:03the house and the stereo was really loud
04:05and you could feel the
04:07Bas so I started dancing oh
04:11yeah Frankie starts laughing right and
04:13it felt good I was making my son laugh
04:16but then he starts pointing he starts
04:19pointing why are you why are you
04:21pointing cuz you're fat your Fat's going
04:23everywhere your Fat's going everywhere I
04:26go really my Fat's going everywhere well
04:28guess what this fat makes your mom
04:49like if I ask him to do something and he
04:52doesn't do it like for example as
04:55parents you want your kids to go to
04:57sleep by a certain time because you need
04:59them to wake up in time to get ready for
05:01school Frankie's cut off is 11:00 it's
05:04pretty late if you ask me for a kid
05:07sometimes they'll push it to midnight
05:08and they'll play dumb oh I don't know
05:10what time it was yeah whatever you're
05:13clock but I get it I used to play dumb
05:16too so then he'll walk in his room and
05:18he'll say good night Dad and he'll close
05:21the door and he thinks he's slick he
05:24takes a towel and he starts rolling up
05:27the towel and he puts it under the door
05:29so that I can't see the light coming
05:32TV sounds pretty genius right but hello
05:35cover the rest of the stupid
05:38D he freaking turns on his big ass TV
05:41and it looks like immigration's breaking
05:45bedroom and so what happens is he'll
05:47stay up until 2 3 4:00 in the morning
05:50and he you know he's supposed to wake up
05:52at 600 his alarm goes off and he sleeps
05:54through the alarm and it's a real alarm
05:57alarm it's not a radio it's freaking
06:04him and it's right here so I got to get
06:07out of bed and I go over to his room and
06:09I open the door and I kick the stupid
06:11towel out of the way and then I walk
06:18know and I yell Frankie Frankie nothing
06:23so I shake him Frankie wake up you know
06:26what happens when I shake my son in the
06:27morning it makes him eat in his
06:30sleep that's what happens I shake him
06:43this so you know what I do I get on top
06:46of the bed and I slowly lay on top of
06:49them and I apply my full weight bro all
06:52of it slowly and you could hear
06:57him oh God God oh God you're too big
07:03you're too big and then I whisper in his
07:05ear that's what your mom
07:21sad I know one day my son is going to
07:23write a book called fluffy full of
07:30do you think your mom would like to meet
07:41Emily let me tell you
07:44something if she says no I want to meet
07:55back Emily wants to know if you would
08:06nice all right Emily she's in Emily goes
08:11fan I go trust me that's her reaction
08:14she's good she has the whole house
08:15covered with viente Fernandez records
08:17and cassettes okay we're
08:20good so Emily comes back and she puts
08:23these special VIP bracelets on us with a
08:26little click and she walks us through a
08:29door into the backstage area as soon as
08:31we went through the door I knew exactly
08:33where we were I was just there a week
08:35ago so I got my mom arm and arm and
08:38we're walking down the hallway okay come
08:40on let's go let's go we're walking down
08:42the hallway and we're getting closer and
08:45closer to Vicente Fernandez's dressing
08:47room the door is wide open and I can
08:50hear a commotion coming out of the
08:57room and then a man and a woman exit the
09:00room and the man is holding on to the
09:01woman's shoulders and he's like he's
09:03okay he's okay he's okay he's okay and
09:12okay mascara's running down her face my
09:16mom sees that and she's like mik did you
09:19see that did you see what the
09:21mascara what the mascara
09:35friendly so we get by the
09:38door and the closer we get we start to
09:41see a guy in the room that he comes to
09:43the door um in the room there's three
09:46people okay there's Vicenta Fernandez
09:49the photographer and a Handler the
09:52handler comes to the door and you can
09:53tell by his voice that he works for like
09:56a Mexican radio station cuz he's got
10:05Bas basal in Spanish means come on in so
10:08we start to walk into the room and let
10:11me tell you guys something if you grew
10:14up listening to vienta Fernandez from a
10:17young age and you get the opportunity to
10:20meet him it is seriously a religious
10:26experience my mom and I are entering the
10:28room the only thing missing is the
10:33freaking you don't look at him you look
10:35at the floor out of respect you just
10:38look at the floor come on ma we get all
10:41the way up to him and I see
10:43boots and when I see the boots my mom
10:51just he knows what you're doing he knows
10:54you're checking him out so what he does
10:56is he poses okay he s stands there and
10:59he poses he'll have the SoMo the hat to
11:02his side and then he doesn't look at you
11:06away and he sticks his chest out and he
11:10stands there looking like a big ass
11:20Costco and then he looked at
11:23me and he recognized me not as a
11:26comedian but because I was there the
11:27week before and my photo was hanging
11:29outside his door whoever's there last
11:32you know they always rotate the photo so
11:37like I go yeah that's me outside
11:57m I'm like oh my God God I think I just
11:59offered up my mom to vienta
12:02Fernandez she like 73 better late than
12:09him my mom starts walking up to viente
12:14he was so nice he goes out to shake my
12:17mom's hand and my mom grabs his hand and
12:21I don't know where she got this strength
12:25and energy from but she grabbed him and
12:29hard like the video game get over here
12:33and then hooked him she hooked him and
12:35she starts screaming into his
12:39chest I'm like oh my God she's getting
12:50too cuz he was like you
12:56know the photographer the Handler and me
12:59the three of us is what it took to pull
13:01her off of viente we sit her down she's
13:07balling mascaras running down her
13:12face the photographer shaking his
13:16head I guess vient had dinner earlier
13:20that night he was eating barbecue cuz I
13:21had those wet naps you know barbecue wet
13:23naaps and so we take the wet naaps and
13:25we start cleaning the mascara of my
13:27mom's face we stand her up and we posed
13:31her and we took the picture Emily comes
13:34over and she she takes us and she
13:37escorts us to our seats in the front and
13:40for three hours for three hours my mom
13:45was on her feet listening to his she
13:48refused to sit down mom you should
13:52said holding a shot of tequila that she
14:003 hours on her feet never once sat down
14:04that's how powerful his music
14:08was my mom felt no pain for that entire
14:13time and the minute that freaking
14:24God P oh my God my feet and I'm like oh
14:29great so now I got to drag this living
14:32Nolla to the parking
14:35lot I helped her into the car I told you
14:38to sit out you don't sit for
14:41Chente Here Comes Emily did you guys
14:44have a good time I go Emily Emily we had
14:47the greatest time thank you so much I
14:49got something for you I go what's up and
14:52she hands me an envelope and I open it
14:54and inside the envelope is the picture
14:57she printed it out for me and when I
14:59looked at it I got so choked up because
15:02I have never seen my mom so happy in a
15:06picture and it's not that she wouldn't
15:08smile she would smile but it was that
15:10you know one two three
15:20cheese but this one was
15:25like and what makes it extra special is
15:28that is the last photo I have of my mom
15:32and she was the happiest and I know that
15:34that moment wouldn't be possible if I
15:37did not do this for a
15:45living so thank you for
15:48that sorry I know a lot of people we
15:56God all right man this is cool you guys
15:59are really warming me up for The Tonight
16:00Show I I did it once before and it kind
16:01of it was kind of funny because I took
16:02my mom with me and we're hanging out
16:04backstage right and stuff and jayena
16:06walked in and he was so nice right he's
16:07like hey G how you going welcome to
16:09tonight's show we're going to have a
16:10great time everything's going to be
16:12great your mom right oh you guys know
16:14who Jay Leno is now so my mom was like
16:17no are you the one in charge I'm like no
16:18M please don't do that don't mess around
16:20no me I got this one don't worry don't I
16:22know him I seen him on TV before hey you
16:25big chin I'm talking to
16:27you no oh he was so cool very nice for
16:31you to come out to the show you son a
16:33great fabulous he gets my mom loaded
16:36with margaritas so as soon as I come out
16:38you hear jayen go ladies and gentlemen
16:40and I come out right I'm like what's up
16:48go my mom the big supporter she's happy
16:51she is man because At first she wasn't
16:53too hot on the whole idea of me doing
16:55comedy some of the biggest dreams I had
16:57one of them was to do the Apollo and
16:59Harlem New York I told my mom I was
17:04goes they're going to think it's
17:05Halloween because you hear the
17:11boo and I go and I did the
17:13Apollo and I did good I haven't done
17:16that material yet because you guys are
17:20still no no no I'm no now I'm kind of
17:23toting my own horn in which case I
17:24shouldn't be doing that just it kind of
17:26you know I don't know as a comedian we
17:28rely and the the chuo chuo the haha the
17:32the some of you guys sir you've been
17:34giving me this one the whole
17:36night you guys don't realize I can see
17:39everybody here man I can see you
17:40fondling her leg dude I've been watching
17:46them I can see everything in here man
17:49I'm not one of those Comics who has to
17:50stick to his show I will let you guys
17:52know you guys are not having the best of
17:55me I can pull some CDs out too and they
17:57still got the price tag on them
18:05comedy I used to have a guitar but I
18:07broke it it one of those little
18:10ones I can't sing man even though I have
18:13the last name EAS you'd figure I be able
18:15to hold a note but no I can and I always
18:18get that are you related are you related
18:20I'm thinking about just dropping the
18:21name but sometimes it works at hotels
18:24like they hear the last name Iglesias
18:25and all of a sudden ooh everybody wants
18:27to see who's there and it's like
18:29yeah it's me and my dad but he's in the
18:34car he doesn't want to be bothered so
18:36they give me all the coold treatment and
18:38stuff I was in Vegas I got free cookies
18:43good I got to milk it for whatever I can
