00:00a hard one dear bill this is going to be
00:02a sad letter so if you don't feel like
00:04dealing with this today I understand all
00:08right yeah [Â __Â ] this letter I'm not
00:10reading it no truthfully I think I'm
00:12writing you for the same reason
00:14Catholics go to confession don't worry I
00:16know you can absolve me of my sins 5
00:19years ago I switched jobs when I and
00:21when I did I rolled my company 401K into
00:25what's known as a self-directed
00:28401k my family and I also moved that
00:30year and I took the proceeds from the
00:32house sale and dumped those into an
00:34individual account with the same broker
00:37oh God it wasn't much by some people's
00:40standards but dude if it's all you have
00:42it's a lot it wasn't much by some
00:45people's standards but between the two
00:47accounts it amounted to our life
00:50savings I did what any sane person would
00:53do and bought a bunch of safe stuff and
00:55tried not to look at it very often then
00:58came the pandemic I actually sold
01:00everything at the perfect time
01:05okay oh please tell me you didn't get
01:08Bitcoin I think I was the second or
01:11third it was the second or third week in
01:13February before everything really went
01:14to hell but I took a long long time
01:17getting back in and when I did I didn't
01:21anymore oh boy this has [Â __Â ] too many
01:24twists and turns here for a year I did
01:27very well and doubled our life savings
01:29and during that whole time it never
01:30occurred to me the real risk I was taken
01:33Q though oh Jesus fast forward to
01:35yesterday and it's been two solid years
01:38of bad decision after bad decision after
01:40bad decision first I was long when
01:48hard what first I was long when
01:51everything was going I think going down
01:53hard in 2022 then I was short when
01:56everything was just kept going up up up
01:58in 2023 an absolute epic meltdown
02:01brought by tens on by tens if not
02:04hundreds of individual bad decisions so
02:07here I am it's early February and
02:09there's basically nothing left I know
02:11you're probably thinking I'm some
02:12degenerate gambling addict but I swear
02:14it's not true true I don't bet on Sports
02:17only been to casino twice in my life and
02:19probably lost $150 combin I drive a
02:2220-year-old SUV and live in a regular
02:25house don't drink don't smoke I just got
02:27overwhelmed slowly at first then all at
02:29once my question is simple how do I
02:32myself how does a man forgive himself
02:35when his selfish and foolish actions
02:37cost the people he loves thanks for any
02:39advice you can give and thanks for all
02:42the laughs over the years God bless and
02:47uh easy you take responsibility for your
02:50actions you apologize to everybody and
02:53you promise that you're going to do
02:55efforts to make it right and then you go
02:58out and you do that and and um the worst
03:01thing you can do right now is act like
03:03the game's over your life is over this
03:06is a moment in it and you know what
03:08you've built yourself a great
03:12preamble to the story of your
03:15success of losing it all and coming back
03:18do you know how many successful people I
03:19know that have lost it all and then came
03:26um Success is Not trying something going
03:30out being successful and being and then
03:33that's it it's not a
03:39Journey success is just stepping out
03:44into the abyss and free falling into
03:47something hitting the water and then
03:49trying to swim and there's moments where
03:52it's [Â __Â ] white water and then it
03:54becomes calm and then there's a [Â __Â ]
04:00is is not allowing yourself to get too
04:03down or too or too high and keeping
04:07between your ears positive which is what
04:10you need right now cuz right now you're
04:12beating yourself up it's time that the
04:14pity party is over just tell your wife
04:17that just be like listen I want you to
04:20know that the pity you know I still feel
04:22unbelievably shamed for what I did but
04:23the pity party is over and I'm going to
04:25make you proud of me again and then you
04:27just go out and you just [Â __Â ]
04:29whatever the direction is that you want
04:31to be going in I don't know what you do
04:35um and you build it back up again and
04:37I'm going to tell you something you will
04:42know if you do that if you don't just
04:44look at this like this is the end of
04:46your journey it's the beginning of your
04:52um I feel that you know your family's
04:56always going to love you they're going
04:57to be now they're going to be like
04:59looking at you like you're going to
05:01teach them you can actually give them A
05:03Life Lesson here so the life lesson here
05:06is you know you don't stick all your
05:07eggs in one basket and I hate to tell
05:10you this but Wall Street you might as
05:12well go into a casino Casino it happens
05:14quicker but Wall Street is 100% [Â __Â ]
05:18rigged I mean the House and Senate voted
05:20that they can't get tried for insider
05:22trading they make a couple hundred grand
05:23a year they're all their portfolios
05:25generally speaking are worth upwards of
05:28million okay they're getting all sign
05:30kinds of insider trading there's a bunch
05:32of different ways to make money still in
05:37um and I think the fact that you're
05:39conservative at heart is a good [Â __Â ]
05:42thing it seems like you just got a
05:44little crazy so just learn from this
05:46lesson and uh tell yourself you're going
05:49to figure it out and go [Â __Â ] figure
05:52um my standup career I mean I
05:56I I've had so many [Â __Â ] ups and downs
06:02where you know sometimes things that
06:04were supposed to be good this happens it
06:07actually leads to like a down period or
06:10whatever and I like I had
06:12periods starting off nobody knowing who
06:14I was and then all of a sudden people
06:16knowing who I am you know getting big
06:19gigs having a [Â __Â ] manager and big
06:22agency then all of a sudden [Â __Â ] cools
06:24off my agency I've been dropped by I I
06:26don't know how many agencies have
06:29me um I've been fired by
06:33managers I've gone all the way from
06:35being out here in LA and having a
06:37one-bedroom apartment and driving a car
06:39to losing all of that going back to my
06:42walkthrough bedroom apartment living
06:44with Bobby Kelly now and we shared the
06:47walk through bedroom part like he slept
06:49in the living room on a pullout couch
06:53unincorporated and just went through a
06:55six sevene period of just like trying to
06:59put put it all back together again just
07:01not being able to get arrested before I
07:03started to get it going
07:08um and even then like I I still have
07:11like like setbacks you know I I got a
07:14really good role in this
07:16movie and I was thinking like oh man
07:18this is going to be a great thing I'll
07:19get to do the talk show circuit you know
07:21maybe I'll get some good press I can
07:23start get some better acting roles and
07:25then the pandemic comes and the movie
07:26comes out during the pandemic does
07:28really well but you know
07:30didn't get to do the hype I do old dads
07:33I'm all excited about it I'm really blah
07:35blah blah blah blah and it [Â __Â ] comes
07:37out during the strike and it was this
07:41hit that no one really talked about cuz
07:43it did that and it's just you know those
07:45are like little gut punches I mean the
07:47amount of time that me and Ben tiesel
07:49put in that [Â __Â ] movie it was like
07:51a it was like four years of our
07:55lives and and it just kind of you know
08:00came out and very quietly crushed I mean
08:03it did amazing and it definitely opened
08:05some doors but you know I didn't get to
08:09do like what everyone was telling me Oh
08:11my god when this thing comes out we
08:13we're going to get you on this show
08:15you're going to be on the cover of this
08:16magazine you're that nothing none of
08:19that happened so even when you're like
08:21being successful like [Â __Â ] like this
08:23still [Â __Â ] happens you know what you
08:24say you just go what am I [Â __Â ]
08:27special is no bad [Â __Â ] supposed to
08:30happen to me every [Â __Â ] person in the
08:35in can sit down and talk way longer
08:39about getting kicked in the nuts than
08:41they can about going over the moon
08:46um that's kind of what life is you know
08:51[Â __Â ] you know you win and then the
08:54next day there's another game and you
08:55might lose at that [Â __Â ] game so
08:57that's where you're at man you know you
08:58had a bad season you lost some games you
09:01on a losing streak you just got to
09:02[Â __Â ] turn it around and success is
09:07really so much of it is how you handle
09:10when you get your dick knocked in the
09:12dirt and if you could just [Â __Â ] it all
09:15right Nice Shot dust yourself up you
09:18know Hulk Hogan that [Â __Â ] they go to
09:20drop your hand that last time and you
09:22stop it you [Â __Â ] put it up in the air
09:24and you start [Â __Â ] nodding your head
09:26you get up to one knee that's just what
09:29it just really is and I'm telling you
09:31man don't believe all of this
09:33[Â __Â ] that people say about Hollywood
09:35where they uh you know because these
09:37[Â __Â ] idiot actors got to Ram their
09:39politics down everybody's throat so now
09:41everybody's like saying [Â __Â ] Hollywood
09:43this whole idea that everybody is out
09:45here just [Â __Â ] sitting around a pool
09:47not doing anything like
09:50um when I get into business to do a
09:52project I am always astounded at how
09:54hard people work they are like they're
09:55psychotic the level that they work
09:57they're [Â __Â ] like
10:01Workaholics I mean I'm talking 13 14
10:03hours a day and they don't get paid
10:05overtime it's just it's just what it is
10:08day in and day out Monday through Friday
10:11and then on the weekends your phone is
10:12blowing up with [Â __Â ] a zillion
10:14goddamn questions when you know you're
10:15trying to shoot a TV series or a movie
10:19like they're out there everybody is
10:22busting their ass but what do the
10:24paparazzi show they show people [Â __Â ]
10:25vacationing in in whatever the [Â __Â ] they
10:30um and even then that's worked because
10:32they call the paparazzi they're not the
10:34[Â __Â ] feds they don't know where
10:35you're at they call the
10:37paparazzi you know they don't eat for
10:40[Â __Â ] a bunch of days and then they
10:42put on a bathing suit and then they got
10:44to have that oh oh you caught me [Â __Â ]
10:47look it's all [Â __Â ] that's even their
10:48vacation is [Â __Â ] work so anyway I'm
10:51sorry this [Â __Â ] happened to you but
10:52you're gonna [Â __Â ] turn it around okay
10:55and and that what's great about life is
10:59when you get in the mindset that um your
11:01success and your failure is nothing more
11:04than your decision so whatever you
11:06decide to do you can make the decision
11:08that this [Â __Â ] event in the stock
11:11what destroyed you and then you can go
11:14down to some stupid bar and tell your
11:16Sad Sack story to some other [Â __Â ] sad
11:18sack who's also decided that they're a
11:20loser in Life or you can just decide
11:22that hey man I [Â __Â ] took a nice shot
11:24got knocked on my ass and I'm [Â __Â ]
11:27getting up and I'm I'm going to come
11:29back even stronger this time all right
11:32that's what I hope for you okay there
11:34you go there's your [Â __Â ] halftime
11:35speech all right and that is the podcast
