A Psychologist's Thoughts On Love and Marriage-Orion Taraban, Psy.D. (Part 1)
Soft White Underbelly2024-02-08
soft white underbelly#swu
734K views|7 months ago
💫 Short Summary
The video delves into the complexities of dating and relationships, emphasizing the differences in approach between men and women. It discusses the dynamics of sexual attraction and the importance of strategy and value in building successful partnerships. The segment also highlights the significance of respect, communication, and understanding in maintaining healthy relationships. Additionally, it touches on the role of personal boundaries, self-respect, and emotional engagement in interpersonal interactions. Overall, the video provides insights into navigating the modern dating landscape and enhancing relationship dynamics for long-term success.
✨ Highlights
📊 Transcript
✦
The complexities of men and women's desires and societal expectations in relationships.
01:47Men can become obsessed with women who manipulate them, leading to unhealthy relationships.
Women's desires are influenced by societal expectations and power dynamics between the sexes.
Both men and women engage in status games, making it difficult to navigate relationships successfully.
Modern women face criticism for behavior that may attract desired relationships but goes against traditional norms, requiring a delicate balance between personal desires and societal expectations.
✦
Dynamics of dating and relationships are explored, focusing on differing approaches between men and women.
05:11Study reveals women's reluctance towards casual sex compared to men's willingness.
Women have an advantage in dating and can successfully initiate relationships.
Importance of understanding the role of sex in building emotional connections is emphasized.
Sex is compared to a Trojan horse that opens gates to deeper relationships.
✦
Building and maintaining relationships through offering sexual opportunities and being the most desirable version of oneself.
10:41Women can initiate and maintain relationships by showing a willingness to engage sexually.
Men gauge a woman's interest based on her willingness to break her usual rules for him.
By making a man feel like the most desirable man she has ever met, a woman can strengthen the relationship dynamic.
This tactic can play to a man's ego and make him feel like a king in the relationship.
✦
Evolution of Dynamics in Relationships Between Men and Women.
15:09Societal changes, such as women's financial independence and access to support, have altered relationship dynamics.
Commitment used to come before sex due to pregnancy risks, but now women are more open to sexual relationships before exclusivity.
Men are now legally required to provide child support regardless of relationship commitment.
Shift towards non-committed relationships by some women has created pressure for others to follow suit.
✦
The impact of withholding sex until marriage or having high standards in the dating landscape.
16:43Men may become infatuated with women who provide exceptional sexual experiences, leading to obsessive behavior.
Mastering bedroom techniques can captivate a man's interest and ensure a strong hold on a partner.
Offering unique and intense sexual encounters can prevent being easily discarded in relationships.
It is important not to engage in this behavior with every individual to maintain power in relationships.
✦
Advice for Women in Choosing Partners
21:54Women should be selective in choosing partners as men value chastity in a wife but often take a casual route before commitment.
Men may become possessive as relationships progress, leading to shifts in behavior.
Most men prioritize physical attraction and sexual fulfillment in relationships, while women seek commitment and a better lifestyle.
Both genders need to strategize and offer value in the relationship for it to progress, emphasizing communication and mutual understanding.
✦
Deepening intimacy in a relationship through integration and usefulness.
24:30Women often target successful men based on their lifestyles, which men use as bait.
Gendered complaints stem from feeling used for sex or resources.
Men lack awareness of being sexually objectified and view it as a compliment.
Being useful and targeted for lifestyle are crucial dynamics in relationships.
✦
Maintaining Harmony and Focus in a Relationship.
28:10Supporting and assisting a man in areas where he struggles can lead to commitment and intimacy.
Disrespecting men is the one thing that can ruin a relationship despite efforts to please.
Understanding and meeting a man's needs can ensure a fulfilling partnership.
✦
Importance of Respect in Long-Term Relationships
32:55Disrespect towards a man can result in loss of respect and attraction over time.
Disrespect can be shown through verbal abuse, criticism, physical abuse, mocking, or demanding explanations.
Women can express disagreement without disrespecting by avoiding interrogation and shaming.
Men should focus on providing a better lifestyle to attract the woman they desire, similar to how women treat job opportunities.
✦
Challenges faced by young men in relationships due to lack of status, wealth, and maturity.
36:54Importance of developing a compelling lifestyle to attract women.
Disparity in sexual marketplace value between men and women, with women peaking at 18 and men gradually increasing until around age 40.
Advice for men to learn patience and understand the dynamics of normalized sexual marketplace values to improve attractiveness to women.
✦
Women often feel they may never be able to demand the relationship they want from a man due to perceived inequality in the sexual marketplace.
39:30Men gain attractiveness to women by accumulating experience, wealth, status, and prestige over time.
Men are advised to wait, play their cards right, and invest time in personal development to eventually gain an advantage in the marketplace.
In order to become attractive to women, men are encouraged to metaphorically build a boat, learn to sail, and plot a course, which may take a minimum of 10 years.
✦
Importance of resources and knowledge in building success.
44:27Successful individuals are defined by others wanting things from them, highlighting the importance of being useful to others.
Developing solutions to problems that benefit many people is essential for success, whether through plumbing or entrepreneurship.
Having a clear life mission is crucial for direction and purpose in achieving goals.
✦
Importance of having a mission in life to avoid making women the center of one's life.
47:07Women desire men with ambition, drive, and purpose, not those who prioritize them above all else.
Men should resist appeasing women's unreasonable demands to maintain respect and avoid creating a power dynamic where manipulation is rewarded.
Giving in to emotional manipulation leads to loss of respect and appreciation in a relationship.
✦
Men need to focus on developing an interesting lifestyle, expertise, skills, and a mission to attract women.
53:03Women tend to focus on their appearance to attract men.
Men should utilize strategies such as being cocky, playful, funny, and transitioning to being sexual to attract women.
Low activation game involves confidence and not giving too much energy.
Social validation, such as having a VIP table in a club, can help attract attention passively and attract women without much effort.
✦
The importance of emotional stimulation in seduction.
55:30Confidence is a key factor in attracting women, more than money or status.
True seduction involves emotional interaction and engagement with women, not just superficial attributes.
Luxury lifestyles do not guarantee success in attracting women without seduction skills.
Seduction is about guiding emotional responses, not just showcasing external qualities.
✦
The segment discusses the concept of women attracted to 'bad boys' and men wanting a 'good girl'.
59:10Women may be drawn to individuals who are perceived as not caring about their feelings.
This dynamic can lead to greater success in relationships.
Importance of personal boundaries and self-respect in interpersonal interactions is emphasized.
✦
Persistence in dysfunctional strategies due to partial success.
01:03:07Women are attracted to assertive individuals over nice guys.
Some individuals develop social callous and freedom from not being liked.
Dysfunctional behaviors persist over time due to partial success.
Assertiveness and willingness to fight for beliefs are attractive qualities.
✦
Rules are viewed as suggestions for maintaining social cohesion, with exceptions that can be changed by people.
01:07:28Blindly following rules is not virtuous; rules should align with personal or social objectives.
Breaking rules can result in problems, but these challenges can be used for personal development and social progress, exemplified by Dr. King's arrest.
Masters can utilize challenges to their advantage, as any situation can be beneficial when one understands reality, their skills, and their purpose.
This mindset removes fear and enables individuals to use any circumstance to advance their mission.
00:00I I've I've worked with thousands of men
00:03in my private practice and in my
00:06consultations and men fall in love with
00:10strippers men fall in love with
00:12prostitutes men fall in love with women
00:15with personality disorders every single
00:17day why is that is it because these
00:21women love them so much is it because
00:24they're kind is it because they're
00:26supportive or
00:28virtuous no it's because they [ __ ] these
00:30men to the point where their brains
00:33start to
00:34melt okay and when a man has brain
00:39melting face
00:41skewing life-altering sex it's like a
00:45drug and it's like all that that guy can
00:48think about and that guy isn't going to
00:51just hit and quit a woman who does the
00:53freaky nasty [ __ ] for him because he
00:56knows he can't get that on any street
00:58corner
01:04I think the question all men want to
01:06know it's a very basic one is what do
01:09women
01:10want it's a very heavy one there's a lot
01:14to it right there is a lot to that that
01:17was the greatest mystery to Freud and
01:20the fathers of
01:22psychology the true and unsatisfying
01:26answer is women want what they
01:28want
01:31and the secondary to that is women want
01:34what other women want often women want
01:37what other women want more than they
01:40want what's best for themselves this has
01:43to do with the fact that both men and
01:44women are playing two different games
01:47simultaneously both sexes are playing
01:50their own
01:51intrasexual status games and they're
01:54also playing intersexual power games and
01:58it's very difficult
02:00for a man to win both of those games or
02:04a woman to win both of those games
02:06simultaneously for instance uh a man
02:09could potentially s powerfully for a
02:13woman and be at her beck and call and
02:17yes dear sweetheart and buy her flowers
02:19and roses and that might
02:22work in the short term to attract a
02:26woman into a relationship but that man
02:29isn't going to be elevated in status
02:31within his own intersexual hierarchy so
02:35other men aren't really going to look at
02:37that
02:38behavior um admiringly
02:41admiringly and that's going to be
02:43potentially a liability for that person
02:46by the same token a lot of modern women
02:48are in this trap where some of the
02:51behavior that might work to get them the
02:54kind of relationship they want from the
02:56men they want to have that relationship
02:58with is frowned upon by their fellow
03:01woman it's basically the equivalent of
03:04sing in men and the equivalent of sing
03:07in men for women is anything that has to
03:10do with let's say traditional
03:12reactionary feminine
03:14behavior that I am going to be
03:16submissive for a man that I am going
03:19to wait for him that's how it used to be
03:23where a woman what was that in the
03:25Odyssey where Penelope waited for 20
03:27years for odys to come home and all of
03:30the suitors of Greece had taken over her
03:33house and she still refused to believe
03:36that
03:49odyusa that I'm going to serve a man or
03:53make his life easier or do any kind of
03:57domestic help all of these things would
04:00be seen as almost a betrayal of her
04:04gender at this point and so even though
04:07those behaviors might instrumentally
04:09help her get the kind of relationship
04:11she wants with the man she wants to have
04:12that relationship
04:14with it would come at the cost of let's
04:16say the respect of the women that she's
04:19competing against in her own intersexual
04:22status games so this is kind of how we
04:25get into our own ways these
04:27days Allan you have a YouTube channel
04:30called psych hacks which is uh I believe
04:34is going to
04:35be it's going to be the hottest YouTube
04:37channel in the world I think I I think
04:38it's just the most fascinating thing
04:40I've ever seen on YouTube uh one of your
04:42talks is on
04:46how uh how is the titled any woman can a
04:49woman can get any man she
04:51wants how to get any man you want yes
04:54and it's geared towards women there are
04:56three three steps to that right mm talk
04:59talk to me about about that sure first
05:02of all I'll go a little bit more what I
05:05say in those three videos because this
05:06is important there are two general
05:08approaches to dating and I call them
05:11hunting and fishing hunting is where you
05:14can Target a very specific person for a
05:19potential relationship and you know
05:22pursue that one person fishing is more
05:25or less you cast a wide net and you
05:27develop optionality and and you choose
05:31the best option that also has already
05:33chosen you and I think it's actually in
05:36most women's best interests to hunt
05:40women can hunt in the dating Market much
05:44better than men
05:45can this is due to the fact that there
05:47is an enormous asymmetry between men and
05:51women's openness to a sexual
05:55relationship I'm going to take a little
05:56bit detour I'm going to get back to your
05:57question uh one of my all-time favorite
06:00psychological studies took place on a
06:02college campus a few decades ago and the
06:05researchers were trying to examine men
06:08and women's differential attitudes
06:10towards casual sex and what they did is
06:13they got a attractive young college man
06:17and an attractive young college woman
06:19and they basically memorized the same
06:21script and went up to members of the
06:24opposite sex on campus and the script
06:26was basically like hey I've seen you
06:28around school I think you're very
06:30attractive would you like to come to bed
06:32with me something like that um women are
06:36always saying I want an honest guy I
06:38want a guy to tell me what his true
06:40intentions are this is about as honest
06:42and true as a guy can get how
06:46many women do you
06:49think responded Yes to that Overture oh
06:53they they're all going to say no
06:56100% 100% of the women approached
07:00that's a 0% success rate said they were
07:02not interested in fact many of them got
07:04offended and angry at the the
07:06supposition and what happened with the
07:07woman when the woman approached men 75%
07:12said yes only 75 well that's probably
07:14because the other 25% were looking for
07:16where the hidden camera was because this
07:18was such a strange and unusual
07:20circumstance they knew that something
07:22was up about this and so they probably
07:24their spidey sense was tingling and so
07:27they you know they holstered it and did
07:29the socially acceptable response that's
07:31my interpretation anyway so the fact of
07:33the matter is is that most women could
07:36just go up to a guy and offer to
07:39initiate a sexual relationship and she
07:42is overwhelmingly likely to get a
07:44positive response now women generally
07:48respond well Orion that's just sex I
07:50don't want to just have a sexual
07:52relationship with a guy I want to have
07:54an emotional relationship I want to have
07:56a committed relationship and I say okay
07:58that's that's fine
08:00but how else are you going to get the
08:01foot in the door it's like you have to
08:04understand women that sex is like the
08:07Trojan horse that gets you into the
08:10gates of the city that's what allows men
08:13to open up and let you in now if they
08:17let you in and then they just kick you
08:22out well that was a blown opportunity
08:25like you once you're in there are things
08:27that you can and should do to stay there
08:31but you can't do those things until he
08:33lets you in and the way to be let in to
08:36the gates of the city is to
08:40provide a sexual opportunity and most
08:44men are willing to have sex with most
08:46women whereas the converse is certainly
08:48not true that's why women can hunt and
08:51that's why women should hunt they should
08:52Target specific men they should do their
08:55research they should try to do as much
09:00stalking you know broadly defined on
09:03their target as possible they need to
09:05know who is this guy what is he like
09:09what is he not like what are his foibles
09:12what's his reputation like the more
09:15information that she has the more that
09:18she can bait her hook with for that
09:20particular man and of course the most
09:23succulent juicy bait is a sexual
09:25opportunity okay so once woman has
09:30decided that this is the man that she
09:32would like to Target for a
09:35relationship there's a few things that
09:37she has to do one is she needs to make
09:41it clear that she is open to a sexual
09:45relationship that she is not going to
09:47put up much resistance at
09:50all there's there's a kind of an art to
09:52this if a woman just kind of goes up to
09:54a guy and says uh I'm yours that's going
09:56to be kind of unusual and it's going to
09:58make the guy potentially
10:00standoffish um so women have to like put
10:03themselves in front of the guy just like
10:06in olden days where they would kind of
10:07drop the handkerchief and bend over and
10:10the guy would be like H my lucky day you
10:12know it's we often think of men
10:14initiating but often women initiate the
10:17initiation you understand
10:19um and if a woman is just waiting for a
10:22guy to do that and she's not initiating
10:24the
10:25initiation I don't have a lot of
10:27sympathy because she has this
10:29she's sitting on this incredible gender
10:32specific success rate uh that has to do
10:34with initiation okay so a woman needs to
10:38make it clear that she is open to a
10:41sexual relationship with a guy because
10:43that's the Trojan Horse to get into the
10:44City and in general to keep a
10:48man it's important for a woman to not
10:52just offer a sexual opportunity but to
10:55be the nastiest [ __ ] version of
10:57herself possible and and there's a
10:59number of good reasons for why this is
11:01true first of all and and foremost
11:06men whether or not it's true but it's
11:09mostly true men gauge a woman's interest
11:14and attraction in him by what she is
11:18willing to do with him sexually it's
11:20been very well documented and I think
11:21all men understand this on like a gut
11:23level that women will do more
11:27things faster with in the bedroom with
11:31men that they like and they're attracted
11:32to than with men that they are not and
11:37so when a woman is the nastiest
11:40[ __ ] version of herself possible
11:42what she's functionally communicating
11:44with her behavior which is the only
11:46thing that really matters not with her
11:47words but with her actions that you are
11:50the most desirable man I've ever met and
11:53I am willing to break the rules for you
11:56that I strongly and rigidly enforc with
11:59all other men and that's going to play
12:02to a man's ego absolutely which is a
12:04trap for men but women should absolutely
12:07use that to their advantage whenever
12:08possible I mean All is fair in Love and
12:10War right uh that's going to make the
12:13man feel like he's a king of the
12:15bdis uh he's going to feel like and it's
12:19going to put him in his
12:21masculine all good things because when a
12:23man is put into his masculine and he
12:26feels that there is a beautiful woman
12:29who is sexually submissive to him it
12:31triggers his instinct to protect and to
12:35provide which how does that not redound
12:38to the woman's benefit you know what I'm
12:39saying it's actually a very easy
12:43Con on the part of the women I don't I
12:45don't know a guy they wouldn't fall for
12:46that it's it's very hard to do man
12:50so uh by being the nastiest [ __ ]
12:54version of of yourself possible women
12:56are communicating that I'm willing to to
12:58break the rules for you because I'm
13:00putting you above all other men which is
13:02going to make stimulate his ego and put
13:05him into that position now that's also
13:10going to keep him coming back you have
13:12to understand
13:14that one of my very first episodes years
13:18ago was everyone is unique and everyone
13:22is replaceable both of those things are
13:25true that's one of the paradoxes of
13:27being alive you are a unique individual
13:30No One Like You has ever existed before
13:32and will never exist again but once
13:34you're gone people will be making
13:37interviews like this and PE and and once
13:40I'm gone people will be sitting here
13:42answering questions like this and that's
13:44how the whole game continues forever and
13:46thank God for that or else everything
13:48would come crumbling down on some level
13:50so bad for the individual but good for
13:52society and the perpetuation of the game
13:54let's put it that
13:55way
13:57so if a woman simply provides a
14:02run-of-the-mill sexual opportunity
14:03that's very easy to
14:05replace and the fact of the matter is is
14:07that sex in today's Marketplace is
14:10extremely cheap it's cheap
14:13because sex must now preced
14:17commitment there's a whole other Spiel I
14:20can give you about why that's the case
14:21but let's table that for now because I
14:23still want to answer your question
14:25that's changed since our parents
14:26generation perhaps it's certain it's
14:28changed in the last 60 years and the
14:31main instigator of the change was birth
14:35control two minute sidebar the reason
14:38why commitment had to precede sex for so
14:41long is because the threat of pregnancy
14:44always loomed
14:45large
14:47and in that day it was extremely
14:51difficult if not impossible for a woman
14:53to earn her own
14:55money and to survive in society without
14:58the pro protection or provision of a man
15:01or a governmental program that served as
15:03its surrogate and all of those things
15:06have changed the reason why commit
15:09commitment was required before sex was
15:13because the stakes of a woman becoming
15:15pregnant outside of marriage were
15:17extremely high and it was upheld
15:19socially because if that man couldn't be
15:22persuaded or coerced to commit then that
15:25single unwed mother and her children
15:28would have become society's problem so
15:31all of these things have changed women
15:32can and do earn their own money there
15:34are all kinds of governmental programs
15:37to subsidize single mothers men whether
15:40they commit to this Arrangement or not
15:43are legally required to give women child
15:46support uh for the children that they
15:48sire in some cases even for the children
15:50that they don't so the circumstances for
15:53requiring commitment prior to sex have
15:55shifted and one once a few women started
16:01to be okay with a sexual relationship
16:05prior to an exclusive commitment or
16:07marriage once a critical mass was
16:09reached
16:11then functionally all other women had to
16:14do the same in order to remain
16:15competitive within the sexual
16:17Marketplace because in today's day and
16:19age if a woman were if you were to go
16:22out in the first date with a woman she
16:23were to insist well I'm not going to
16:24have sex until I get married especially
16:27if she's not a virgin
16:29uh I mean she's going to price herself
16:30out of the sexual Marketplace that's
16:32going to be too expensive for any given
16:33man when there's a woman two swipes away
16:38who's going to be willing to go home
16:39with him for a drink or two so that's
16:43the situation that we live in For Better
16:44or For Worse so sex is kind of the
16:47standard we used to say why buy the cow
16:49if you can get the milk for free right
16:51well that presumes
16:54that milk wasn't being freely
16:56distributed in the pasture but now that
16:59milk is freely being distributed in the
17:01pasture you have to give milk not
17:05because milk will motivate anyone to
17:08make the sale but because not providing
17:11milk is going to be an a strange absence
17:17it's going to it's going to be more
17:19expensive for the buyer in a way that
17:23none of the competitors are requiring
17:26okay so this is the world that we live
17:29in For Better or For Worse so when women
17:31provide a sexual opportunity it's a good
17:33idea to not just be a run-of-the bill
17:35sexual opportunity because let me tell
17:37you I've I've worked with thousands of
17:41men in my private practice and in my
17:44consultations and men fall in love with
17:48strippers men fall in love with
17:50prostitutes men fall in love with women
17:53with personality disorders every single
17:56day why is that
17:58is it because these women love them so
18:01much is it because they're kind is it
18:03because they're supportive or
18:06virtuous no it's because they [ __ ] these
18:09men to the point where their brains
18:11start to
18:12melt okay and when a man has brain
18:17melting face
18:19ske life-altering sex it's like a drug
18:24and it's like all that that guy can
18:26think about and that guy isn't going to
18:29just hit and quit a woman who does the
18:31freaky nasty [ __ ] for him because he
18:34knows he can't get that on any Street
18:36Corner that's the second time I've
18:37laughed in 8,000
18:39interviews the first time was last week
18:42so I mean does this make sense to you it
18:43makes perfect sense okay
18:46so the they used to say that the weight
18:49to a man's heartest through his stomach
18:50it's actually just a few inches lower
18:53and there's no
18:55reason why I mean all these are are like
18:57Behavior AV there's no reason why a non
19:01stripper SL prostitute SL borderline
19:05couldn't learn to do some of the things
19:08in the bedroom that these women tend to
19:11do and to get men obsessed with them
19:15okay so once you target a man and you
19:19provide the sexual opportunity and
19:21you're the nasti [ __ ] version of
19:23yourself then you have an in like you're
19:27within the city
19:28and you're you're not going to be kicked
19:30out anytime soon you're not going to be
19:32pumped and dumped if you an
19:35amazing over-the-top sexual experience
19:39okay it's very very
19:40important and you don't want to do this
19:42with everybody because that just is a
19:44race to the bottom too because it
19:45becomes harder and harder to be the
19:47nastiest [ __ ] version of yourself
19:48if you're that with every single guy
19:50that's why you have to do your homework
19:52and you want to hunt and you want to
19:53Target specific men be selective it's
19:56important to be very select itive as a
19:58woman because men have all a very
20:02understandable but from a woman's
20:04perspective extremely frustrating double
20:07standard with respect to female Chastity
20:10Chastity is something that they would
20:12highly prize in a wife and don't want to
20:15see anything in a casual lover but the
20:19fact of the matter is that the pathway
20:21to become a wife for the vast majority
20:23of women is through the Casual lover
20:27route most women will see this happening
20:29they'll be with a guy casually for some
20:32months maybe even some years and then
20:34the guy will catch feelings usually guys
20:37it takes a little bit longer for them to
20:38catch feelings and then they'll start to
20:40ask questions how many guys you've been
20:42with you know what's your family like
20:44Patrice O'Neal had this great joke once
20:47where his girlfriend had been with him
20:49for seven years and he had been with her
20:51for four like it took 3 years for him to
20:55kind of like see that woman as his
20:57girlfriend you know and that's when the
20:59relationship begins to shift and that's
21:01when the guy starts to become a little
21:03bit more possessive potentially you know
21:05don't go out to the club or why are you
21:06dressed like that they're not going to
21:08act like that on the first date they're
21:10just looking to smash right so the fact
21:12of the matter is most men don't show up
21:14on first dates thinking oh please please
21:17Jesus alab Buddha make this the last
21:19date I ever have to go on I'm ready for
21:21the one I'm ready for my wife I want to
21:24settle down
21:25today they're looking they're thinking I
21:28hope she mostly looks like her pictures
21:30and she lets me Smash that's what most
21:32guys are thinking and so to get and and
21:36and a lot of women when they show up to
21:38their first date they're not thinking I
21:39sure hope this guy just buys me a couple
21:41drinks uses me sexually and never calls
21:43me
21:44again you know and
21:47yet that can happen right so it's
21:51like most women don't show up on a date
21:54thinking or expecting that they're going
21:56to go back to a guy's house
21:58and have sex and yet that happens every
22:00like all the time right why because that
22:02guy had a plan that guy had some game
22:05and that guy was moving the interaction
22:07in the direction of that kind of
22:08relationship the same thing happens for
22:11the committed relationships that women
22:14want they don't just happen they happen
22:17because a woman had a plan she had some
22:21game and she was guiding the
22:22relationship in the direction of that
22:24kind of
22:25encounter very few guys are going to
22:27give
22:28that uh voluntarily just like very few
22:32women are just handing out sex to guys
22:35just because they want it right wanting
22:38is free it costs nothing to want things
22:41my wanting sex from women has never
22:44persuaded any single woman to give it to
22:46me in my entire life why would a woman
22:49wanting commitment or marriage or
22:52exclusivity or Etc why should that
22:54motivate me in and of itself to give
22:55that to her like there has has to be
22:58some back and forth there has to be
23:00some strategy and there has to be some
23:04uh the value proposition has to make
23:06sense so to boil down the transaction
23:09that's hopefully taking place the woman
23:11is looking for a commitment and uh a
23:14better lifestyle MH and the man is
23:16looking for an attractive sexual partner
23:19most guys don't get beyond that that's
23:20right they're like I just I wanted to
23:24have sex that's why I called you up you
23:26looked hot and event hopefully they
23:28develop feelings often not always not
23:31always but yeah I mean what did Hannah
23:34Lector say we covet what we see every
23:36day so it's like you and there's the
23:40psychological term for that I think is
23:41the mere exposure effect which is the
23:44well-documented
23:46phenomenon that people just feel more
23:49positively towards people Brands ideas
23:52that they see every day that's part of
23:55why marketing works is that
23:58if I give you two Brands and you've
24:00heard of this one and you haven't heard
24:01of this one you're going to feel more
24:02positively disposed towards this one
24:04just because you're familiar with it in
24:06fact a great deal of dating and the
24:08emotion attached to that is really just
24:11familiarity as opposed to let's say
24:13love but I digress okay so a woman's in
24:18she's now being the nasty [ __ ] version
24:20of herself so how can she convert that
24:24into the kind of relationship that she
24:26wants the key key it to stay there the
24:30key to deepen the intimacy of that
24:33relationship Beyond um pure sexual
24:36Dynamic is for the woman to become
24:40useful she has to be of use to the man
24:44in order to justify her introduction
24:48into increasingly intimate Circles of
24:50his lifestyle so let's go out in the
24:53limb and say that the men that the women
24:55are generally targeting for their
24:57relation ships are not just like Schmo
25:00who are sleeping on the couch in their
25:02parents' basement these are generally
25:04guys who are successful who are rich who
25:07are high status who have prestigious
25:11professions maybe they're famous like
25:14these women weren't there for this guy's
25:17struggles they weren't there for when he
25:20was upand coming they're targeting him
25:23now because of his fully extrapolated
25:27lifestyle style okay that's basically
25:30the biggest bait that men can use to
25:35attract women is
25:37Lifestyle the joke is basically that men
25:40want the Barbie
25:43doll that's it you know we we'll take
25:46the clothes off and just we want the
25:47doll don't tell me the name don't tell
25:49me the story we just want the doll and
25:52what women want is all the [ __ ] the kend
25:54doll comes with that's why there's
25:56Cowboy Ken and there's stock broker Ken
25:59and there's Malibu Stacy Ken and they'll
26:02throw the Ken away and they'll just play
26:04with the accessories in the
26:05Dreamhouse and that's why the gendered
26:10complaints always fall along the lines
26:13of the man is just using me the woman
26:15for
26:17sex and the woman is just using me the
26:20man for my resources and won't even [ __ ]
26:22me I have never ever in my life heard a
26:26woman complain to me I pay for the house
26:29I pay for the car I gave him the kids
26:31that he wanted and he still won't touch
26:34me I've never heard that not even once
26:37and I've never heard a man complain that
26:39he was just being used by a woman
26:42sexually I sometimes in my past I've
26:46wondered if I just wasn't attractive
26:48enough to be used sexually by a woman I
26:49mean I I think it might even
26:52be kind of a refreshing uh change of
26:54pace and that's an interesting failure
26:58intersexual understanding that men don't
27:02often see the problem of being sexually
27:05objectified because they think it's a
27:08compliment but I can see how it would be
27:10uncomfortable for women to be sexually
27:11objectified by men that they don't want
27:14to be sexually objectified by so once
27:17you're in you want to be useful this guy
27:20has been targeted by you because he's
27:22got a lot going on don't create problems
27:25for him because the more
27:28you rock the boat the more time energy
27:31and attention he has to take away from
27:33everything that's
27:35working which is why you're there is to
27:37enjoy the extrapolated
27:40lifestyle to focus on you so don't rock
27:43the boat don't make any unnecessary
27:45problems and then look around like open
27:49your eyes open your ears listen to the
27:51guy the guy will tell you all the time
27:54where he's struggling where he still
27:58needs assistance where his bottlenecks
28:02happen to be and then just start to help
28:05him just start to help him if if you see
28:08that something needs to be done and no
28:10one else is doing it congrad your
28:12[ __ ] lation you've just been elected
28:14you know and why would you do this
28:17because I know a lot of women out there
28:19are thinking ran this is a terrible idea
28:20I'm going to have to like what am I
28:22getting out of all this I have to do all
28:24this stuff for a man well what you're
28:26getting out of this is job security
28:30because the idea here is once you start
28:33to do things in an instrumental way that
28:36are necessary for the maintenance and
28:39the propagation of this man's lifestyle
28:42you become essentially indispensable to
28:44the whole Machinery it's would be very
28:48difficult or painful to extricate you
28:52from all of the good stuff that that guy
28:54has
28:56that's
28:58where he's vulnerable where he needs
29:00help because if you show up that's an
29:03don't see that as like a chore see that
29:05as an opportunity oh I'll take care of
29:08that that's great um because it gives
29:12you one more like purchase into that
29:16life if you can take care of that it's
29:18going to be very very difficult to get
29:19rid of you and it also means that you're
29:23going to be around more and more and
29:25you're going to be privy to increasingly
29:27levels of intimacy in his
29:30lifestyle and that's basically how you
29:33achieve de facto commitment and
29:36exclusivity from a man and you're
29:39integrating yourself into his life and
29:41you're also the best sexual partner he's
29:43probably ever had that man is never
29:44going to [ __ ] leave you if you [ __ ]
29:47his brains out don't cause problems and
29:49help
29:50him men are not difficult like you can
29:56get any man that you want and keep him
29:58if you do those things he could be a
30:01millionaire he could be a billionaire he
30:02could be an athlete he could be a
30:03celebrity he could be a neurosurgeon you
30:06could be a rock star whatever floats
30:08your boat that's what you do but there's
30:11still one thing a woman can do to screw
30:13it up yes so women got in touch with me
30:16and they said Orion I tried all those
30:18things and it still didn't work and I
30:21believe them some women do do those
30:24things I mean there are certainly some
30:25women out there I mentioned some of them
30:27who know exactly what sexual buttons to
30:31push a man to turn him into
30:33jelly and they are great with let's say
30:36the love bombing and they show up and
30:39they overd deliver with what they're
30:42willing to do in the context of that
30:43relationship maybe they don't do it
30:45quite long enough
30:48to really be fully integrated into his
30:50lifestyle but they do those
30:53things a lot of women unfortunately can
30:56snatch
30:57defeat from the jaws of
31:00success by doing one
31:03thing and that one thing is
31:06disrespecting men this is what I call
31:09the unbreakable rule a woman can never
31:12ever
31:14ever allow herself to disrespect the man
31:17that she wants to be in a long-term
31:19committed relationship
31:20with and there's a number of reasons for
31:24that but one of the least appreciated
31:26ones
31:27is that if a woman
31:29allows herself to disrespect this man
31:33and he allows that as well then over
31:38time the dynamic of that relationship
31:41will shift to the point where that woman
31:43is functionally with a shell of a
31:47man that is no longer a person that she
31:50can respect or be attracted to and
31:54that's generally when she looks for the
31:57the door so disrespecting a man usually
32:02provokes conflict which rocks the boat
32:06which goes against the things that I was
32:07talking about earlier and it decreases a
32:11woman's own attraction for a man
32:12especially if he doesn't respond
32:15effectively um
32:18and what do they say in the Bible it's
32:21like a a a wise woman builds her house
32:24with her hands and tears it down
32:28my ellipses with her mouth it's like a
32:31lot of women will open their mouth and
32:36talk their way out of the relationship
32:39that they could have had with the men
32:42who actually wanted to have it with them
32:45and they do this because in the moment
32:46they might be frustrated or
32:50impatient so it's emotional regulation
32:53and self
32:55soothing uh women also disres ECT men in
32:58less obvious ways I mean obvious ways
33:00are verbal abuse criticism physical
33:04abuse
33:06um mocking especially in front of other
33:10people but a woman can also disrespect a
33:13man by demanding
33:16explanations by interrogating
33:19him these are forms of disrespect
33:22because they play inappropriately with
33:25power differentials
33:27the right to demand an explanation the
33:30right to ask questions always goes from
33:33the high to the low it never goes the
33:35other way
33:36around just think about the military if
33:39I were your commanding officer and I
33:41called you in and I told you about a
33:43mission you wouldn't have the right to
33:46ask me a bunch of questions before you
33:47decided whether you were going to accept
33:49the mission you know um you that would
33:54be insubordination and it wouldn't be
33:56tolerated
33:57so there is a way to get the kind of
33:59information that you want from a man
34:01without interrogating without shaming
34:03without
34:05demanding you do not have to always
34:07agree with a man that would be
34:09impossible because Men We Men do all
34:11kinds of boneheaded things all [ __ ]
34:13time so women do not have to approve of
34:15a guy but they absolutely have to find
34:19ways to disapprove
34:22disagree without disrespecting and
34:24that's absolutely something that can be
34:26possible
34:27the general rule of thumb is if you
34:28wouldn't say
34:30that in that way to your boss if you
34:34were interested in keeping your job you
34:35shouldn't say that to a
34:38man so that was some great advice for
34:40the women what do men need to provide in
34:44order to find the woman they want it
34:46seems the ability to provide a better
34:48lifestyle is the number one thing a
34:50woman is looking for right oh generally
34:52yes so women treat men the way men treat
34:55jobs
34:58and this will help men not take the
35:02dating process as personally as they
35:04might
35:06otherwise think of it this way you might
35:09as a man have no problems at your
35:12current employment you might feel that
35:14you're perfectly happy there but if one
35:17day a recruiter called up and said hey
35:20Orion I got an offer for you would you
35:23be interested in coming over to this
35:26company will triple your salary we'll
35:29give you unlimited paid time off we'll
35:31give you a
35:32promotion and we'll make sure that you
35:34never have to work on any of the
35:35projects you don't want to work on ever
35:38again I'll take it you're at least going
35:41to consider that offer strongly and the
35:43vast majority of people are going to say
35:45you know what there's no problem here
35:47but I have to do this for my career and
35:51that's what a lot of guys hear
35:53especially when they're young when the
35:55women break things off because in the
35:59vast majority of cases that's what women
36:00do they say something like you know you
36:02were great I don't
36:05have any complaints about this I just
36:08have to do this for me this is something
36:11that I need to do for myself right now
36:14it's it's the same thing and everybody
36:16will understand at that company that
36:18this was the right move for your career
36:20no one is going to say oh after all all
36:23we've done for you it's like it's a
36:24[ __ ] job it's business and if that
36:28person were in the same position he or
36:30she would also have accepted the offer
36:33as well so we don't need to get on our
36:35high horse and pretend uh to a
36:37righteousness that we probably don't
36:39possess
36:42so the best way to attract a woman is to
36:46be a woman's best
36:49offer to be a woman's best option
36:54okay and this is no small small feet
36:58because when you're 18 and you're a man
37:02you have [ __ ] all like it's extremely
37:05difficult to be a young man in today's
37:07society and it is not appreciated at all
37:11in popular culture um it's very very
37:15difficult because at 18 women don't want
37:18you because you have nothing that women
37:20want you don't have any wealth you don't
37:22have any status you don't have any
37:24emotional maturity you're not ready to
37:25settle down and have kids you're useless
37:28you're just a big throbbing Hardon and
37:31you can't even use that to transact for
37:33anything of interest for the woman and
37:36you're kind of useless to men because
37:39you have no skills you have no
37:41experience you have no Mastery you're a
37:43liability on the [ __ ] team like I can
37:46help you you can't help me God forbid I
37:48have to fall cuz are you going to catch
37:51me absolutely not so it's like young men
37:56are double [ __ ] they're at the the
37:58lowest of the low of all of their status
38:00hierarchies that they have to compete in
38:03and they can be that way for 10 years
38:06because it can take about that long to
38:09develop an emotionally compelling
38:11lifestyle that might
38:13be the best option for a woman that that
38:17man is authentically attracted
38:18to okay so what do men have to do
38:23it's it's they have to do a lot
38:27and the first thing they have to do is
38:28they have to learn how to
38:30wait so this has to do with the let's
38:35call it the normalized sexual
38:36Marketplace values of men and women
38:38according to the research
38:40so women's normaliz sexual Marketplace
38:43value Peaks at 18 years old and drops
38:47precipitously from that day forward it
38:50never rises again men's normaliz sexual
38:53Marketplace value is lowest at 18 Gra
38:56gradually Rises up until about 40
38:59remains constant for about another 20
39:02years and then slowly declines into old
39:06age it isn't until 30 years old that the
39:10average male sexual Marketplace value
39:12exceeds the average woman's sexual
39:13Marketplace value for the very first
39:15time this means that women's default
39:18action is to act like all things being
39:22equal they will never be in a moment
39:27where they can demand the relationship
39:30they want from the man they want to have
39:32it with then today because for the vast
39:36majority of women this is when they're
39:37going to have their highest valuation in
39:39the sexual
39:40Marketplace so their default is to
39:44act on the other hand most men will
39:47never be more disadvantaged in the
39:49sexual Market Place than they are
39:51today with each passing year they
39:54accumulate more experience more wealth
39:57more status more Prestige and these are
39:59the things that are instrumentally
40:00connected to women's attraction to men
40:05so the first thing that men need to
40:06learn how to do is to wait because it
40:09could be a while it could be a while
40:12before they can start to enjoy an
40:14advantage in the sexual Marketplace and
40:17most guys don't get there in the sense
40:21that they commit and foreclose before
40:24they experience that possibility
40:27it's not a coincidence that the average
40:30age at first marriage in this country is
40:3229 remember I just said that 30 is the
40:35day when or the the year when the sexual
40:39Marketplace polarity switches for the
40:41very first time and it never ever
40:43returns so most marriages happen at the
40:47last moment that a woman enjoys a power
40:50differential over the man in the sexual
40:52Marketplace this is the smartest [ __ ]
40:55thing that she could possibly do
40:57because if she were to wait another year
40:59or two she might not have been able to
41:01get that same commitment even from that
41:03same
41:04man because she will have declined a
41:06little bit and he will have gone and he
41:08be like oh well wait a minute I'm
41:10starting to get some options
41:13here I'm I kind of feel attractive women
41:16are kind of showing themselves that
41:19they're interested in me maybe for the
41:20very first time you know what I'm saying
41:22but most men never get to a place where
41:25they are more
41:26attractive than most of the women that
41:28they're dealing with and so they think
41:31that it's almost like just a woman's
41:34right or an innate privilege to have
41:38that kind of Attraction it's it's not it
41:41it's just a consequence of being in a
41:43favorable moment in the sexual
41:45Marketplace men don't always get there
41:47they have to play their cards right but
41:49they might get there eventually later in
41:50life like a uh a division one athlete um
41:55or a profession athlete a little bit
41:57later in life
41:59uh a partner at a prestigious Law Firm a
42:04a politician these guys they understand
42:07that because they've played their cars
42:09right they have incredible optionality
42:11with women these
42:12days okay so men need to learn how to
42:15wait so what do they have to but they
42:16can't just sit there so that men have to
42:18do three things really to become
42:19attractive to women and these are things
42:23that I am extrapolating in the context
42:26of my metaphor for the sexual
42:27Marketplace which is a big dock like a a
42:31pier where all the ships Moore right is
42:34that women are looking for a
42:37captain and there are three things that
42:40men have to do to become a Captain they
42:43have to build a
42:44boat they have to learn to sail and they
42:47have to plot a
42:48course build a boat learn to sale plot
42:50of course and those three things can
42:52take 10 years at least to do and if it's
42:56going to take 10 years you might as well
42:57get started right so build a boat is a
43:02metaphor for your
43:06lifestyle it's going to take two things
43:09to build a boat resources because wood
43:11ain't free and it's going to take
43:17knowledge the the knowledge is a part
43:20that doesn't get a lot of airtime in
43:21today's society everyone's thinking
43:23about the money money is extremely
43:25important but if you don't have
43:27knowledge about how money Works you're
43:30not going to be able to keep the money
43:32if your fool ass actually looks out is
43:35able to get it you know if if you don't
43:39understand what women are and how they
43:41operate you're not going to be able to
43:43keep one if you actually have the Good
43:45Fortune to attract one into your life do
43:47you understand so the knowledge that
43:49we're looking for is awareness for how
43:52reality actually works not how we want
43:55it to work not how we think it should
43:57work not how our society tells us it's
44:02supposed to look but how it actually
44:05works because if we can understand the
44:09principles and the laws by which reality
44:11operates we can flow with those
44:15currents and we won't be vulnerable when
44:20we're out on the Open Sea so we need
44:22resources and we need the knowledge and
44:25experience to be able to maintain all
44:27those good things that we
44:29built indefinitely because what's the
44:32point in taking a a castle if we can't
44:34keep it
44:35right um then we have to learn how to
44:38sail which is the development of some
44:40kind of Mastery or
44:42expertise the fact of the matter is that
44:46women want successful guys and
44:49successful men are not necessarily
44:52virtuous
44:53men they're not necessarily good men
44:56they're not necessarily the best men or
44:59Nice
45:00Guys the fact of the matter is that that
45:03successful men are men that other people
45:05want things
45:07from that's it successful men are
45:11successful to the extent that lots of
45:12people want things from them the more
45:15people want things from you the more
45:16successful you are as a man if nobody
45:20wants anything from you no one will give
45:22you the [ __ ] time of day if you're a
45:24guy that's just how is now this is the
45:28flip side of the male this is the male
45:31experience to the equivalent to
45:34the let's say the sexual objectification
45:37that women complain about and experience
45:39oh men just want to [ __ ] me it's like
45:41yeah kind of and if they didn't they
45:43wouldn't be talking to you the flips the
45:46equivalent of that is well these women
45:47just want things from me it's like yeah
45:50but if they didn't they wouldn't be
45:51talking to you dude so it's
45:53like pick your poison we both have have
45:56our struggles to deal with but
45:58ultimately we have to be useful to
46:02others and a successful man has
46:05developed a
46:07solution for a problem that many people
46:11have and those people will line up with
46:14dollars in their hand to hand it over to
46:16that guy for that solution okay so this
46:20could be anything from being a
46:22successful Community plumber to being a
46:27uh a a startup entrepreneur with the
46:30next app that's going to solve a a
46:32social crisis um it it could be anything
46:36but you need to be able to solve many
46:38people's problems and many people will
46:40need to want things from you in order to
46:42be successful that's learning how to
46:44sail and the third component is plotting
46:46a course this is really important is
46:49every man needs to have an overarching
46:51mission to his
46:52life um this is important because
46:56because when we're out in the open sea
46:59it's where there are no features of land
47:02it's very easy to get
47:04lost and how did The Navigators of old
47:07Traverse the wastes by looking at the
47:10stars because the Stars relative to the
47:13earth move in very fixed
47:15patterns we also will be blown off
47:17course by currents and weather and if we
47:22don't have a star to Sail by it's going
47:23to be very difficult to get ourselves
47:25back on course and we can't get oursel
47:28back on course if we of course we never
47:30had a course to begin with so the
47:32overarching mission to a man's life also
47:36prevents him from doing stupid things
47:39with respect to women like making women
47:41the center of his life the the fastest
47:44way to lose a woman is to make her the
47:46center of your
47:49life because women want a guy who's on
47:53his [ __ ] he wants they want a guy with
47:55ambition with drive with purpose they
47:59don't want to be that ambition drive or
48:01purpose they want to be next to the guy
48:04with those things and to enjoy the
48:05fruits of all of that ambition drive and
48:08purpose but if the woman becomes the
48:10ambition drive and purpose then
48:12functionally the whole operation begins
48:14to fall
48:16apart and this also helps a guy to
48:19resist the urge to appease in moments of
48:25crisis with a woman because it can very
48:29much happen in the course of a
48:31relationship where an unhappy woman
48:34might make certain unreasonable demands
48:37of a man either you you you work too
48:39much you spend too much time at work so
48:42either you need to spend more time at
48:44home or I'm walking for instance well of
48:49course him working so much is part of
48:51the reason why she was attracted to him
48:52to begin with him working so much is
48:55what what got him the money and the
48:56houses and the reputation that made it
48:59likely that she chose him over all her
49:01other
49:03options she doesn't say when she goes
49:08out to dinner or on vacations or when
49:09she drives her car that it's too bad
49:13that the guy works so
49:15much and if this man in that moment were
49:18to cater to that
49:20woman's
49:21demand and he were to lose both his
49:25professional reputation and success and
49:27the relationship he would deserve it
49:30that would be his
49:32foyble and that's where men are mostly
49:35weak is they a lot of guys find it very
49:39difficult to stand up to a woman's
49:41negative emotionality whether it's their
49:43anger and their
49:45upsetness or their tears or their guilt
49:49tripping or their
49:51shaming all men it seems have an
49:54emotional THB screw there's like one
49:57emotion for whatever reason is
50:00particularly difficult for them to
50:03bear and if a woman sticks around you
50:05long enough she's going to figure out
50:07what that emotion
50:10is and if she twists the screw on that
50:16particular emotion and you bend and you
50:21appease and
50:23you change as a consequence of
50:26attempting to avoid that temporary pain
50:29and discomfort of coming into contact
50:31with that unpreferred
50:32emotion what you will do is create a
50:35monster in your relationship because
50:37you'd be training this woman
50:40unconsciously to know that whenever she
50:43really needed to get what she wanted all
50:45she had to do was hurt you in this way
50:47and she loses respect she loses
50:51respect and the guy feels even less
50:54appreciated as well because she be can
50:58she often doesn't even want the thing
51:01that she's demanding in that
51:04moment
51:06so it's it's just not a a
51:09bad it's a it's a very bad idea let's
51:12put it that
51:13way so that's what men have to do to
51:15attract a woman they have to build a
51:18ship which is to develop an extrapolated
51:21interesting emotionally compelling
51:23lifestyle they have to learn to sale
51:27which is they have to develop expertise
51:31and skills that are of use to other
51:33people and they have to plot a course
51:36they need to have an overarching mission
51:38to their life something that is more
51:41important to them
51:45than I guess anything else really it has
51:48to be more important than anything else
51:51if it's not then a woman will figure out
51:54what that other thing will be
51:55and that will be your
51:57downfall that will be your
51:59downfall so you've told us what women
52:02can do to get the man they want and
52:05you've told us what men could do to get
52:06the women they want but there's more to
52:09it isn't there of course the game oh
52:12yeah the game is
52:14infinite I can be a wealthy handsome man
52:17with a great future sitting at a bar on
52:20Saturday
52:21night and nothing's going to happen for
52:23me right correct especially if you're a
52:27man if you are a decently attractive
52:31woman and you were to sit by yourself at
52:34a bar on a Saturday night whether you
52:37wanted it or not you would soon have
52:39company but a man could be brilliant he
52:42could be rich he could be a
52:46neurosurgeon and he could drink by
52:48himself all night okay so men
52:53need game in the the sense of they need
52:56to put on they need some strategy in
53:00order to attract the opposite sex that's
53:03very different from the strategies that
53:04women do I'm not going to say that women
53:05don't have to do that they do all kinds
53:07of things to their appearance right
53:09because that's generally what's most
53:10important to men especially on first
53:13blush with respect to their attraction
53:15to women so they do all kinds of things
53:17with respect to their figure and their
53:19dress and their fashion and their makeup
53:21and things like that men For Better or
53:22For Worse we don't really have to worry
53:24about that as much so there are a few
53:27different strategies that consistently
53:30work to increase your attraction as a
53:34man to women let's see if I can remember
53:36them
53:38um cocky and playful is a is an old
53:41standby from the pickup
53:44Community
53:46um being like this is a tough one it's
53:50not the best one but being like funny
53:53being the funny guy can work like
53:56there's um but it can also backfire
53:59because at some point you do have to
54:01kind of transition from being kind of
54:04like Goofy and playful to being sexual
54:07and sometimes that can feel like a bait
54:09and switch to a woman Patrice O'Neal
54:12used to say I wish I didn't have to
54:13laugh my way into [ __ ] but that was
54:16what he had to do
54:17apparently
54:20um there
54:24is also like low low activation game
54:29which is just sort of like confidence
54:31and not giving a woman much uh
54:35energy that works if you already have
54:39let's say some reputation buyin if you
54:42have a a table in the VIP bottle section
54:45of a club for instance you already have
54:47some social validation that you have the
54:49money to spend on that
54:52so you don't necessarily have to work as
54:56hard to attract attention to yourself
54:57because like you did that passively with
54:59respect to your structure and so you can
55:01actually kind of be a little bit more
55:02aloof and withdrawn which makes you
55:06potentially seem even more attractive in
55:08that moment
55:09right uh but the essence of game is to
55:14stimulate an emotional reaction in a
55:16woman that
55:20is the the easiest way to seduce a woman
55:26is to stimulate an emotional response in
55:30her um and it doesn't even really matter
55:33what the emotion is it doesn't even have
55:35to be a positive emotion I mean that's
55:37why negging works on some
55:40level um which is disrespecting it's a
55:43it's a teasing playful disrespecting yes
55:48it's sort of like treating a girl like
55:50your bratty little
55:52sister so it's not it should be anyway a
55:57real coldhearted
55:59harsh um disrespect it should be playful
56:04playful the idea here is is that I'm so
56:07confident in your presence that I can I
56:11can kind of toy with your beauty that I
56:14know will Dazzle and stun and petrify
56:17other men I it has no effect on me
56:21confidence goes a long way confidence is
56:25amazing so one of the things that a lot
56:28of guys don't
56:29understand so I I've had many a few
56:32different careers in my life so far I
56:34used to be an actor and when I was an
56:38actor as a young man it was easier for
56:40me to get laid than when I was a rich
56:44successful doctor it's changed a little
56:47bit now that I'm somewhat famous but
56:50until I started the YouTube channel and
56:52it blew up it was much much harder for
56:55me to get laid as a successful
56:58entrepreneur doctor than being a broke
57:02theater actor in New York
57:05City
57:07and this is baffling to guys but the
57:11fact of the matter is is that you do not
57:12need money to get
57:14laid you might need money if you want to
57:17get
57:18married but you definitely don't need
57:20money to get
57:21laid and a lot of guys and it's a a kind
57:26of a function of their male rational
57:30mindset they listen to talks online or
57:33they buy programs and they what do women
57:35want and they say Okay women want abs
57:38women want tall guys women want uh Rich
57:41guys and they think okay well some of
57:43those things I can do some of those
57:44things I can't do so but it's like okay
57:46I'll get the ABS check I'll get the
57:48money check and so now all I have to do
57:50is go up into in front of a woman and
57:52say in so many ways just let know hey I
57:55am a rich guy with abs and they're going
57:58they're supposed to just like line up to
58:00[ __ ] them and let me tell you that
58:02that's that's not how it works
58:06um so I call those things attraction
58:10proxies guys really want women to become
58:13attracted to them they hear that these
58:16things are what women in general want
58:18and so they say well I'll just get those
58:20things and then the attraction will be
58:22taken care of and that's not true I do
58:25all the time with guys who have super
58:27Yachts down in Miami who fly private
58:29jets and who cannot get [ __ ] laid
58:32because they have no experience picking
58:34women up they don't know how to talk to
58:36beautiful women in particular they don't
58:38have any problems with the ones they're
58:39not attracted to generally but obviously
58:42that's not the ones that they
58:44want the way to get laid is to learn how
58:48to seduce a woman that's it like you
58:51don't need ABS you don't need money what
58:55you need is seduction technique and the
58:58core of Seduction is the ability to
59:00stimulate an emotional response in
59:01somebody else and to guide them through
59:03an emotional Journey that ultimately
59:05culminates in a sexual
59:07experience that you've more or less
59:10curated for that
59:14person there's a saying that goes a man
59:18wants a good girl who's only bad with
59:20him and a woman wants a bad boy who's
59:23only good to her that's great yeah I
59:26heard that one about a year ago it
59:28resonated with me it's true why do women
59:30love
59:32[ __ ] why do women love
59:41[ __ ]
59:44well there's a number of reasons for
59:46that and there are good
59:49reasons first of all um an [ __ ] is
59:52generally somebody who doesn't care
59:54about another person's feelings this
59:56isn't my term this is a term that a lot
59:58of guys use when they're when they're
01:00:00losing
01:00:01out I hear we can use that term [ __ ]
01:00:03I got no problem with asshol um but
01:00:07let's break it down like what [ __ ]
01:00:09do get laid a lot they certainly get
01:00:11laid over the nice guys so what are
01:00:13[ __ ] doing or or how are they being
01:00:15with women that is allowing them to have
01:00:19and enjoy greater success than the the
01:00:21the nice guys out there well like I said
01:00:23one of the first things about [ __ ]
01:00:25is they don't care how other people feel
01:00:28and what did I just say a few minutes
01:00:29ago is like the Achilles heal for most
01:00:32men is the negative expressed emotion of
01:00:35women I'm upset with you I'm angry with
01:00:37you they start to cry it's like on some
01:00:39level a nice guy will be too empathetic
01:00:44will say oh I'm uncomfortable with This
01:00:47Woman's distress I am going to change
01:00:50myself I'm going to change the situation
01:00:52I'm going to change the relationship I
01:00:53will change reality itself if I can to
01:00:56get this woman to stop crying or to get
01:00:57this woman to stop being angry with me
01:00:59without necessarily considering whether
01:01:01or not this woman has a [ __ ] point
01:01:04whether her tears are Justified whether
01:01:07her anger is
01:01:09Justified like for better for worse men
01:01:12and women can get angry inappropriately
01:01:15maybe she's doing it just to see how
01:01:16spineless you are it's possible I mean
01:01:18we call those [ __ ] tests right and a lot
01:01:21of what happens in testing is
01:01:26unconscious I I think that there are
01:01:29some conscious intentional tests that
01:01:32women will do towards men but I think
01:01:34personally and professionally the
01:01:36majority of testing occurs below the
01:01:38threshold of awareness for
01:01:41women so an [ __ ] isn't vulnerable to
01:01:46those displays because on some level he
01:01:48doesn't give a [ __ ] he says sweetheart
01:01:51if you want to be upset with me that's
01:01:53fine that's your you're
01:01:55right why why do I need you to be upset
01:01:59or to be not upset it's you're a full-
01:02:01grown
01:02:02adult like if you want to be angry if
01:02:05you want to be out of sorts if you want
01:02:06to be despondent and sulky hey no skin
01:02:09off my back I don't have to feel those
01:02:11feelings I felt them I know they're not
01:02:14pleasant that's why I prefer not to
01:02:16experience them but for whatever reason
01:02:17you want to feel that way knock yourself
01:02:19out sweetheart I'm not going to stand in
01:02:22the way of you and your feelings and let
01:02:24me tell you to the extent that those
01:02:26feelings were instrumentally attempting
01:02:28to change that man's behavior if a man
01:02:31responds that way that emotion will
01:02:34disappear very
01:02:36quickly because it doesn't
01:02:38work most things most people don't
01:02:42persist in strategies that don't
01:02:45work if someone persists in a strategy
01:02:48it's because it at least partly
01:02:50works the word dysfunction is mostly the
01:02:53word function dysfunction is mostly
01:02:55functional in that it gets what it wants
01:02:58that's why it
01:02:59exists so if you want to look at any
01:03:01dysfunctional Behavior you have to
01:03:03understand that at least for a very long
01:03:05time and at least
01:03:07partly it has succeeded in getting that
01:03:10person what he or she wants that's why
01:03:12it's persisted through time that's it
01:03:14and if you were to change the operant
01:03:17conditioning like the Rewards or
01:03:19punishments as a consequence of that
01:03:20behavior
01:03:22consistently there're out you would very
01:03:24quickly change that behavior that's the
01:03:26only thing that
01:03:28works so that's one reason why women
01:03:32like [ __ ] is because they don't bend
01:03:36in ways that nice guys do that
01:03:38ultimately lead to the disintegration of
01:03:40the relationship and the attraction that
01:03:43she felt for the guy to enter into the
01:03:46relationship to begin
01:03:48with um and this also extends to other
01:03:52people out there it's it's sort of like
01:03:53why does
01:03:55why does the woman gravitate towards the
01:03:58biggest scariest guy in the room often
01:04:03because he's the safest one now you
01:04:05might think well he sure doesn't look
01:04:07safe with all of those tattoos
01:04:10and and the the the leather jackets and
01:04:13the kind of like growly stare well he
01:04:17might not be safe to you another guy but
01:04:19he's safe to her because she's thinking
01:04:22if I'm with that guy no other guy's
01:04:25gonna [ __ ] with him so I want to be with
01:04:28the guy that no other guy is GNA [ __ ]
01:04:30with and
01:04:34[ __ ] they fight
01:04:36back they don't just say oh oh sorry uh
01:04:40maybe I did something wrong there let's
01:04:42let's work to friends you know get along
01:04:46an [ __ ] will be like go [ __ ] yourself
01:04:48man why would you do
01:04:50that and they they they have don't have
01:04:54a problem being
01:04:56disagreeable and they don't have a
01:04:58problem fighting for what they believe
01:05:01in now some [ __ ] are narcissistic
01:05:04and what they believe in is just their
01:05:05own misguided
01:05:07self-interest but not all of them right
01:05:10so but in any case they are willing to
01:05:13fight for what they believe and what
01:05:16they want and that's what makes them
01:05:18more safe to women than guys who aren't
01:05:21willing to
01:05:23fight
01:05:25uh [ __ ] also often know that people
01:05:29don't like them and they've developed a
01:05:32kind of social callous around that which
01:05:35gives them a social Freedom when you
01:05:38talk to most guys the thing that
01:05:41paralyzes them socially whether it's
01:05:44with other guys at parties to make new
01:05:46friends or with women picking them up is
01:05:48they're afraid that they're going to
01:05:49look awkward or they're going to say
01:05:51something and people aren't going to
01:05:53like them
01:05:54but when you're an [ __ ] people
01:05:55already don't like you I mean what's the
01:05:57[ __ ] threat here you know what I'm
01:05:59saying so because I'm used to
01:06:04people not liking me because there are
01:06:07people today right now who don't like me
01:06:09and I can deal with it I have a social
01:06:12Freedom that you
01:06:13don't I can speak my truth because I
01:06:17know what happens when people disapprove
01:06:20or disagree with me and they hate
01:06:22me not much
01:06:24like they get all been out of sorts and
01:06:27life goes
01:06:29on [ __ ] often get into trouble
01:06:32because they all they also understand
01:06:36that um rules are this is going to sound
01:06:40shitty but rules
01:06:42are really just
01:06:44suggestions to maintain social cohesion
01:06:47at the mass level but every rule has an
01:06:50exception every rule was created by
01:06:53people and so so every rule can actually
01:06:55be undone by people as well an [ __ ]
01:06:57knows that uh it's not a virtue to
01:07:02Simply uh follow a rule because it's a
01:07:06rule like it has
01:07:09to make sense it has to uh
01:07:16support I guess his goals whether
01:07:18they're personal or the social goals and
01:07:21he doesn't mind necessarily
01:07:24transgressing those rules from time to
01:07:25time and getting into trouble because
01:07:28trouble is not really a real Concept in
01:07:32many
01:07:33respects um some of the the darkest
01:07:38moments that some of the people I look
01:07:41up to have been in were
01:07:46really were really ways for them to
01:07:49launch their careers and their missions
01:07:52to an even higher greater
01:07:54level like when when Dr King was
01:07:57arrested and thrown into the Birmingham
01:08:00Jail do you really think that he was in
01:08:04trouble I mean he has a mug shot he was
01:08:07arrested there he was in jail in
01:08:09handcuffs that's about as bad as it gets
01:08:12in today's
01:08:13society but it was an opportunity for
01:08:16him to write some letters and it was
01:08:19then a pivot point to D to draw even
01:08:21more attention to a social cause which
01:08:23generated even more
01:08:24momentum trouble like a a master can use
01:08:29anything to it to his
01:08:31benefit trouble is wasted on those are
01:08:34just the
01:08:35unmas like nothing can go to waste to a
01:08:39Master not not a crisis not a not a
01:08:44disaster not a
01:08:46disagreement anything can be used to
01:08:49serve once you understand reality once
01:08:53you have exper experience and expertise
01:08:55and once you know what your purpose and
01:08:56Mission is anything can be used to
01:08:58further that you have nothing to fear so
01:09:02I would say that in many respects that's
01:09:04why women like
01:09:07[ __ ]
01:09:09excellent fascinating talk let's take a
01:09:11little break and I'll we'll continue
01:09:14this and I'll post it in a week for
01:09:15people that want want to hear more of ay
01:09:18thank you all right thank
01:09:22you
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