Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook, on Using Your Voice For Good
Stanford Graduate School of Business2017-06-01
sheryl sandberg#facebook#stanford mba#stanford#stanford gsb#stanford graduate school of business#mba#view from the top#Friendship#Working#Business
299K views|7 years ago
💫 Short Summary
Sheryl Sandberg discusses the importance of embracing opportunities, building relationships, providing support during hardship, and advocating for children's well-being. She emphasizes the significance of supportive partners for women's success and encourages women to support each other in the workplace. Sandberg dismisses the idea of personal branding and emphasizes authenticity. She addresses challenges women face in the workforce, societal biases, and the fallacy of 'having it all.' Sandberg encourages women to pursue their dreams fearlessly, make decisions from a place of strength, and create something positive from difficult circumstances.
✨ Highlights
📊 Transcript
✦
Cheryl Sandberg emphasizes the importance of helping others, investing in oneself, and team success in career development.
02:11Sandberg shares her 'rocket ship' lesson of unexpectedly moving to Silicon Valley despite facing doubts, emphasizing taking risks.
Sandberg reflects on her time at Google, where she initially felt unsure about her role as a business unit manager due to the lack of established business units.
✦
Embracing opportunities for career growth.
04:11Taking junior roles at Google and Facebook led to significant career growth.
Building relationships at work is important, emphasizing caring for others and having aligned goals.
Focusing on the process of collaboration and problem-solving in professional interactions is valuable.
Avoid fixating on immediate results or differences in opinions in professional settings.
✦
Importance of Feedback and Values Alignment in Working Relationships.
06:54Speaker emphasizes the impact of a close friendship with Mark Zuckerberg and his vision for a global and connected world.
Personal anecdotes shared about building self-confidence after a loss and supporting colleagues facing hardship.
Advocacy for providing time off and project opportunities to maintain belief in individuals during challenging times.
✦
Importance of open and honest conversations about difficult topics like loss and illness.
11:27Speaker shares personal story publicly after husband's death, leading to support and connection from others.
Emphasis on removing 'elephants in the room' and providing genuine support to those in need.
Encouraging empathy and understanding during challenging times.
Highlighting the power of simply being present for others in times of need.
✦
Importance of Resilience and Support in Children.
15:39Children facing poverty and lack of resources require additional support for their well-being.
Many children lack access to education and healthcare due to societal challenges.
Building resilience in children includes emphasizing their value and importance.
Communities and governments need to provide necessary support for children to thrive.
✦
Importance of Independence and Resilience in Personal Growth and Success.
16:40Parents should not intervene in job searches to allow individuals to showcase their capabilities.
Emphasize the significance of hard work and contributing to a greater cause for achieving success.
Organizations value employees who prioritize the mission and work diligently towards it.
Genuine care and dedication to others and organizational goals are key to real success.
✦
Sheryl Sandberg emphasizes the importance of having a supportive partner for women's success.
21:09Sandberg discusses the significance of choosing the right partner, especially for women with ambitious careers.
She shares insights on gender attitudes and expectations, stressing the need for equal sharing of responsibilities.
Sandberg encourages women to date different types of men and advises against rushing into marriage.
Sandberg highlights the ongoing challenges women face in finding supportive partners in the modern dating pool.
✦
Sheryl Sandberg advises women to choose supportive partners who value their careers.
23:12She emphasizes the importance of women supporting each other in the workplace and relying on peers for mentorship.
Sandberg criticizes the idea of asking someone to be a mentor, instead promoting building genuine relationships based on mutual investment.
Lean In circles, based on peer mentorship, have grown globally and helped individuals achieve their goals.
Sandberg dismisses the notion of having a personal board of directors or branding oneself as ineffective advice.
✦
Sheryl Sandberg emphasizes the importance of personal branding and having a 'personal board of directors'.
25:53Giving back in relationships and authenticity in self-packaging are highlighted as key values.
Sandberg compares branding to selling a product, influencing decision-making processes.
The misconception of presenting oneself falsely and the messy nature of human beings are addressed.
Sandberg reflects on her various roles including CEO of Facebook, founder of Lean In and Option B, author, mom, and widow.
✦
Sheryl Sandberg on challenges women face in the workplace.
29:09Sandberg emphasizes the importance of teamwork and hiring well.
She discusses the fallacy of 'having it all' and the support she receives from her team.
Sandberg addresses gender bias women encounter regarding work-life balance.
She sheds light on the unequal treatment and scrutiny faced by women in professional settings.
✦
Importance of Women's Empowerment in Career and Family.
31:57Women are frequently discouraged from balancing a successful career and family, causing them to leave work prematurely.
Emphasizes the significance of women making decisions confidently, having supportive partners, and pursuing their dreams fearlessly.
Speaker shares her personal journey of writing a book about her husband's death, highlighting the process of grief and resilience.
Despite facing challenges, she believes in turning difficult circumstances into something positive.
✦
Reflection on honoring a deceased friend and discussing resilience and legacy.
35:31Sharing a story about a doctor extending his son's legacy by counseling bereaved parents.
Emphasizing the importance of taking risks and facing fears to achieve meaningful goals, with examples of writing a book and taking challenging roles.
Encouraging self-reflection on overcoming fear and finding a strong 'why' for pursuing goals.
Highlighting the impact of tragedy and resilience through personal experiences and the bravery of others.
✦
Shami addresses the lack of female representation in leadership roles after graduating from business school.
38:31She discusses the issue of men dominating top positions and urges the audience to recognize their biases.
Shami emphasizes the importance of addressing cultural norms that impede women's progress.
She encourages advocating for more women in leadership roles.
Shami points out self-limiting behaviors exhibited by women that contribute to setbacks.
✦
Importance of focusing on what you want to say, build, or serve as a leader.
41:44Balancing a career at Facebook with a growing voice in public policy.
Value of business leaders serving in government roles and the impact they can make.
Belief in the need for global companies and voices to connect billions of people.
Importance of having a deep understanding of the business and a strong relationship with leadership for potential leadership roles like COO of Uber.
✦
Sheryl Sandberg emphasizes the importance of passion and relationships in work.
46:08Sandberg encourages prioritizing contribution over job titles and embracing teamwork.
Sandberg discusses her career decisions at Google and Facebook driven by belief in providing access to information and identity revelation.
Sandberg highlights the evolution of information access from libraries to online platforms.
Sandberg talks about the impact of Facebook in showcasing individuals' identities.
✦
Emphasizing authenticity and personal skills development on Facebook.
48:10Importance of taking sales jobs and honing sales skills.
Reminder to embrace challenges and do what you care about.
Key message to invest in your skills, embrace challenges, and stay authentic to achieve success.
00:00[MUSIC]
00:05[APPLAUSE]
00:14>> I am really excited to be here.
00:16So, thank you all, for having me.
00:17>> Well, we're thrilled to have you,
thank you so much for being here Cheryl.
00:21So, there's a lot to talk about today,
you're new book, Option B.
00:25But where I'd really love to start,
is with the early part of your career.
00:28So you left the Treasury in 2001, and
00:32you were contemplating various different
opportunities here in Silicon Valley.
00:37One of which was to join Google as
its first Business Unit Manager.
00:41And Eric Schmidt is a lecturer here.
00:43He was also a view from
the top guest recently.
00:46Did he really tell you, to don't be
stupid, just get on the rocket ship?
00:50>> Yeah he did.
00:53I mean it's an interesting
day to be here because today,
00:55Mark Zuckerberg, my boss is
giving the Harvard Commencement.
00:58Where he and I both went, but I graduated.
01:00>> [LAUGH]
>> Just saying, only one of us finished.
01:07>> [LAUGH]
>> But he gets his degree today,
01:08but I was working on my post and I'm
going to do a post after his graduation
01:13speech finishes in an hour or so.
01:16And what I said is that when
I graduated from college,
01:19Mark Zuckerberg was in elementary school.
01:21>> [LAUGH]
>> And the lesson you draw from that, and
01:24I really mean this so deeply,
is two career thoughts.
01:28One is do not try to draw a straight line.
01:31And the second just find it,
find the rocket ship that matters to you.
01:36Hi dad, I'm sorry.
01:36>> [LAUGH]
>> On the first, and
01:38you know what really matters here is
if you try to plan out your career,
01:43anyone who thinks she know exactly
what you're going to do for
01:45the next 30 years, here's what I promise,
or 40 years, it's going to be boring.
01:50And you're going to
miss all the good stuff
01:52because all the good stuff
hasn't been invented yet.
01:55The thing that's really going to change
the world, you don't yet know what it was.
01:58And so if I had mapped out my career,
you know Mark was in elementary school and
02:02there was no internet.
02:03>> Right.
>> [LAUGH]
02:04>> There was no internet when I graduated
02:06from college and so I tell people you
want to have a really long run dream
02:09>> And you want to have a short run plan.
02:11And that short run plan, it is important.
02:13It's not about what you accomplish,
especially in the early days.
02:18It's about what you help other people
accomplish and about what you learn.
02:21You invest in yourself,
02:22you invest in the success of your
teams of other people, and that works.
02:27And the second is the rocket ship lesson,
so
02:30I without the treasury I didn't really
ever think I'd live in California.
02:34But from the point of view of
the US Treasury, all the exciting stuff
02:38was happening out there and
these companies that didn't exist.
02:40And so I wanted to work in Silicon Valley.
02:43But it was actually hard,
it was 2000- 2001,
02:47lots of people said I would never
hire anyone like you to my face.
02:53There was a huge bus, the first
Tech mobile had just burst and so
02:56it was actually hard to get a job and
when I finally got one at Google,
03:00it felt like the wrong job.
03:01I had a spreadsheet,
some of you have those.
03:03It had my criteria from my jobs, and
the problem with the Google job is
03:07other than loving the company,
it met none of the criteria.
03:11I was a business unit general manager.
03:12But, I'm not that dumb.
03:14There were no business units.
03:15>> [LAUGH]
>> So that job title didn't mean anything.
03:17It was also a couple levels lower than
other job offers I had elsewhere.
03:24And Eric did, he put his hand on my little
spreadsheet when I showed him my criteria
03:28and how Google met none of it,
except that I loved the company.
03:32And said, you love the mission.
03:34This is a rocket ship.
03:35When you get offered a seat on the rocket
ship, you don't ask what seat.
03:37And this is one of the most common career
mistakes I see people make all the time.
03:43Someone coming out of government,
or someone who's in legal, or
03:46someone who's in marketing and
they want to change careers.
03:49They want to move from marketing
to sales and it's not hard,
03:52maybe that's not a good example.
03:53>From legal to marketing or
from politics or industries and
03:57then you'll say okay we're willing to
take a chance on you, you'll start here.
04:00And they're like but that's three
levels lower or two years behind.
04:02And I'm looking at them if
you're going to work for
04:05the next 40 years, why do you care?
04:08Get yourself and
the job I took at Google and
04:11the job I took at Facebook were more
junior than every other job offer I had.
04:16>> All right.
04:17>> But they turned out to be
much bigger opportunities.
04:20>> And so, when your facing that
decision of joining Mark when he was,
04:24I think 23 at that time younger
than most of us in the room.
04:28What advice could you offer to us,
04:29those of us who find ourselves in
a non founding leadership position
04:33about respecting the founder's culture
while also making your own impact?
04:39>> So there are a lot of a founder driven
companies out here they are all elsewhere.
04:44But I think it's broader than that.
04:45I think the lesson is about how
to you build the relationship
04:48at work that are going to last.
04:50And it turns out it's an immensely similar
to building relationships at home.
04:54You know what matters for
relationships and friendships.
04:58What matters is that you
care about the other people.
05:02You have aligned goals, right?
05:04When you've had friends,
think about friendships in your life.
05:06We've all had this, where you have friends
that you kind of wanted the same things
05:10and you stayed good friends for
a long time, or a boyfriend or girlfriend.
05:13And sometimes that doesn't work but
if you want the same things and
05:17then you're willing to
care about the person and
05:18really know the person,
you can make it work.
05:21Probably the best advice I got from
this was from Dave, my husband.
05:25When I was interviewing with Mark, Mark
and I actually had a lot of stuff we had.
05:30It's not that we didn't agree,
it's that we couldn't figure it out.
05:33What was going to be
Facebook's business model?
05:35You know,
what were we going to do on these things?
05:37And what Dave said to me,
05:38is he said don't even bother sorting out
the substance before you take the job.
05:43Because all you have done is sorted out
today's substance and it will all change.
05:48What you need to sort out before
you take the job is the process.
05:52Can you and Mark disagree on something and
work it out?
05:56Can you convince him of
something he didn't believe and
05:59does he convince you an awful lot
06:01I thinks he believes because a lot of
the stuffs is going to go his way.
06:04Pay attention to the process and we spent
a couple months really spending a lot of
06:08time together and
in that time I learn a lot.
06:11And he convince of lots of things I
hadn't thought of before and there one or
06:14two times where I convince him and
I watched him accept may point of view.
06:18And then on the way in
I didn't ask him for
06:22anything except a commitment to
the process of our relationship.
06:25>> Right.
06:26>> S all I asked for is we would sit
together, we would always have meetings.
06:30So we agreed we would have
the first meeting of the week and
06:32the last meeting of the week
just the two of use.
06:34>> Ummh.
>> And we would, and
06:35I asked him, he would always
give me feedback once a week.
06:38And he jumped in and said as long
as you give me feedback one a week.
06:42And that was when I took the job,
was when he said that.
06:47So pay attention to
the process by which you're
06:50going to work with someone on the way
into a job, along with values alignment.
06:54Alignment of what the purpose
of the company is,
06:56I think is the most
important thing you can do.
06:58And he has really grown into a friend and
it sounds like he and
07:01his wife Presella where incredible to you,
following Dave's passing.
07:07Can you share little bit more
07:11about how that friendship
has evolved over the years.
07:13>> Yeah, people used to write
about us that we where like
07:17the silicon valley odd couple.
07:18And And maybe in some ways we were,
but we're not now.
07:23He is one of my absolutely closest friends
in the world, and so is Priscilla.
07:29Mark's an incredible person and not
just the brilliance we see in Facebook.
07:34But if you have a chance to watch his
commencements speech today watch it.
07:39Because it has a very clear vision of
what a global and connected world is.
07:44That is a vision that he really has, and
I think would be very good for the world.
07:49And is feeling like it needs more
support than it has right now.
07:55And he is putting that up there into the
world in a very brave and a very bold way.
07:59And I am proud of him for doing that.
08:03As a friend, when Dave died Mark
08:07he didn't just helped me but he really
helped build my self-confidence back up.
08:12And it was one of the most surprising
things about losing Dave was that,
08:16I wrote Lean In, I thought about
self-confidence an awful lot.
08:20>> Right.
>> And I spent years running around,
08:22we have 32,000 Lean In
circles in 150 countries.
08:25I've spent years giving other people,
08:28other women advice on how to
build their self confidence.
08:30And in giving that advice, I really
thought I understood my own and had built
08:34my own up, I was pretty open in the book
in areas where I didn't have enough.
08:38But when Dave died,
I didn't think I was capable of anything.
08:42I could barely go to work and
not cry, I was parenting on my own,
08:45two grieving children.
08:47And what happened before
Dave died is that,
08:50when someone was having
a problem at work and
08:52people have real hardship that they're
going through and then they come to work.
08:56I would think my job was to
take the pressure off them.
08:59I'm so sorry this is happening,
do you not want to be here?
09:02But what I figured out is that, when I
came back to work and people said to me,
09:05this is the kind of things I said to them,
don't worry, of course,
09:08you can't concentrate with
all you're going through.
09:11That really undermined.
09:13>> Right.
>> My self-confidence
09:14because it made me feel like,
my God, that's exactly right.
09:17What Mark did was,
take as much time as you want.
09:21And companies need better policies
I'm very proud of Facebook.
09:24So take as much time as you want but,
he also did but
09:28you really made a good point today.
09:31And so what I learned is now when
people are facing hardship at work.
09:35I will both give them time off but
I will say, but
09:37here's the project if you want it.
09:39We still believe in you.
09:41And that's true not just with death,
09:42it's true of people who have
been diagnosed with an illness.
09:45I've talked to so many people
who are working through cancer.
09:48And they'll talk about, I have chemo
brain, no one thinks I can do anything.
09:52So if every time you interact with them,
you say, don't worry.
09:56That's helpful, but throw in a couple of
good things they did as long as they're
10:00true and legitimate and
that's even more helpful.
10:02>> Right.
10:05And so let's take a step back.
10:08So, you're on vacation with Dave and
friends.
10:14The unimaginable as you say happens, and
10:17you fly home to tell your two young
children that their father was gone.
10:22The morning of his funeral you
decided to start writing a journal and
10:25that turned into a very famous and
widely seen Facebook post.
10:32Why did you decide to share your
very personal stories so publicly?
10:38>> I never thought I would.
10:41After Dave died it wasn't just the grief,
which was so
10:44overwhelming, it was really this
pretty deep sense of isolation.
10:48Before Dave died when I
drop my kids off at school,
10:50they go to local public school here in
Mendel Park, everyone would chit chat,
10:53I'd go to work and
everyone would chit chat.
10:55But, after David I was walking
around I felt like a ghost.
11:00Everywhere I went was just silence and
that's because people were so
11:03afraid of saying the wrong thing that
they didn't say anything at all.
11:06And so I'd been keeping this journal and
when they Jewish period of mourning
11:09which is Shloshim 30-days was coming
to a close, I thought about like
11:13writing what I would say if I were
just honest and I wrote the post.
11:16And then I went to bed
the night before thinking,
11:18there's zero chance I'm posting
this it's way too honest.
11:21And then I woke up the next day and
it really was so bad,
11:23I thought to myself can't get worse,
might get better and I hit post.
11:27And it helped, it didn't take the grief
away and it didn't bring Dave back, but
11:31it took away the isolation because
people started talking to me again.
11:34A friend of mine at work said she've
been driving by my house every month,
11:37everyday, actually for a month.
11:40And had never come in, so
she started coming in.
11:42Strangers started talking to strangers.
11:45And what I've realized to this
process of my own grief but
11:49also talking to other people,
11:50is that, all of these challenges usher
these huge elephants into the room, right?
11:54You want to silence the room?
11:56Say you have cancer.
11:59You will completely silence
any room you are in,
12:02your dad just went to prison,
you just lost your job.
12:06Any of these things, you lost a child,
your child is sick, your husband died.
12:09Just any of these things, you can even
feel the quiet in the room when I say it,
12:14up here.
12:15And so that means that we don't help each
other when we need each other the most.
12:19And one of the reasons I wrote, Option B,
and I'm glad that, out of desperation,
12:23I did share publicly.
12:24Is I want to try to kick those
elephants out of those rooms.
12:28Because they're not helping
anyone get through it.
12:30And it doesn't mean everyone has
to talk about things all the time.
12:32They don't.
12:33But looking at someone and
saying, I know you're suffering.
12:37I know this is hard and
I'm here when you want to talk,
12:40when you want to cry or
when you want to just be, I am here.
12:44We can have an awful lot more of
those conversations than we do.
12:48The other thing I learned through this is
that one of the ways we offer help and
12:52I did this all the time was we say,
is there anything I can do?
12:57When we offer to help, that's actually
the most common thing we do, right?
13:01That's what I used to do.
13:02The problem is,
when you're on the other side of that,
13:05it kind of shifts the burden to
the person who needs the help,
13:09to come up with something and most of
the time you have no idea what to say.
13:11What runs through my mind every time is,
can you make Father's Day go away so
13:15I don't have to live through it?
13:17Like, not going to happen.
13:18So there's a really nice story in
my book about Dan and Esther Levey.
13:23They're community members
of our community here and
13:25they had a child who died very tragically.
13:28They were in the hospital for
many months and
13:30a friend of his showed up at the hospital
and texted from the hospital lobby and
13:34said, I'm in the lobby for a hug for
the next hour whether you want it or not.
13:37And so a friend of mine read
this in my book Option B and
13:41a friend of hers who this is the important
part of the story, she is not a very close
13:45friend just a friend, went into
the hospital with her daughter and so
13:48she said what she would have
done is exactly nothing because
13:52when a friend goes to the hospital you
don't show up, that's totally imposing.
13:57But she read my book.
13:57So she went the toy store,
she bought a big stuffed giraffe,
14:00she went to the lobby of the hospital and
said,
14:02I'm here with a toy I could just leave
it downstairs, but in case you're free,
14:05and the woman immediately texted back and
said please come up stairs.
14:09And she gave the four year old
who has Leukemia the toy, and
14:12she was unwrapping it and the mother's
standing behind her crying the whole time.
14:16Saying thank you for showing up, and
in the hour she was there no one else did.
14:20You don't have to be someone's
best friend from the first grade.
14:24And you don't have to be a personal
friend, you can be a work friend to show
14:27up, and we can do a lot more
to show up for each other.
14:30To feel each other's pain, acknowledge,
kick elephants out of the room and
14:33be there for one another.
14:34And it'll make us stronger,
as friends, as family,
14:37as a community, and
as colleagues wherever we work.
14:41>> One of the interesting things
that you write about in Option B is,
14:46that children are naturally
more resilient than adults are.
14:50What have you learned from your own
children about how to bounce back
14:54after adversity?
14:55>> Yeah, children are sometimes,
14:57just to be clear because it's
very important to understand.
15:01Children can be more
resilient than adults, but
15:03children also need a lot of support.
15:05So children need to build resilience,
they need to build a resilience for
15:08trauma like mine have faced.
15:11They need to build resilience for
a lot of the things we don't provide.
15:16We have a problem in this country where,
15:18we have 37% of single moms living in
poverty, 40% if you're Black or Latino.
15:23And the poverty line is low.
15:25So many, many more people are facing real
challenges of putting food on the table.
15:29And so, these children are not
getting a good education.
15:32They're not getting the support
they need from our government.
15:35They're not getting the support
they need from communities.
15:37And so,
those children need more than resilience.
15:39They need actual support,
an actual education, an actual healthcare.
15:43And we need to provide that.
15:44And then there's the everyday challenges
and children need resilience for that too.
15:49And so there are very specific things
we can do to build resilience in our
15:52children.
15:54And one of them and
probably the most important,
15:55is something some colleges
called mattering.
15:58Tell kids they matter.
16:00Your opinion matters to me.
16:03What you do matters to me.
16:05I want your advice.
16:06I care about your opinion and
I want you to know mine.
16:10Treat them like the people they are.
16:13Another thing I think is really
important in building resilience, and
16:17we wrote about it in a book but
I see it a lot in the workplace, is,
16:19don't do too much for your kids.
16:21And for you guys, please don't let
your parents do things for you.
16:24If your parent is about to email a friend
to get you a job, don't let that happen.
16:27>> [LAUGH]
>> People do not want to hire people whose
16:30parents apply for them.
16:31I'm dead serious.
16:32I get three of these a week.
16:34>> [LAUGH]
>> I am dead serious.
16:37Do not let your parents do stuff for you.
16:40You're communicating to your future
employer that you can't do it yourself.
16:46It is a generational thing that did
not exist in my generation, but
16:50it is a big deal that's
going on in the workforce.
16:53I promise, if I get two resumes
from someone directly and
16:56from someone's parent,
I'm always going to hire the first.
17:00We have to let our kids, and you guys have
to let yourselves, do things on their own.
17:05Because that is how you build resilience.
17:09>> You grew up in a family
of very strong women.
17:12What from your upbringing prepared you for
17:15this level of success
that you've achieved?
17:21>> Working on things that matter.
17:23My parents were very
non-profit focused and
17:25very focused on doing the right thing for
the right reason.
17:28And I think hard work.
17:31I mean, all the stuff out there
on grit and determination and
17:35working on things that
are challenging is all true.
17:38And something that's
just super important for.
17:41There's no substitute for hard work.
17:45And I think one thing that I see
generationally that's happened, and
17:48I think we can do a better job on this,
17:50is we need to remind kids that they're not
just doing for them, they're contributing.
17:56And we need to remind people
of that in the workplace.
17:58The best hiring story ever, that I
ever had experienced, is in Lean In,
18:03is Lori Goler.
18:04She called me when I went to Facebook and
she called and said the following.
18:08She said, I think I want to
come work with you at Facebook.
18:10She was at Ebay in marketing.
18:12So I thought I'd call you and
18:13tell you all the things I like to
do an all the things I'm good at.
18:17But I figure everyone's doing that.
18:19So instead, I'm going to call you and
say what's your biggest problem and
18:23how can I solve it?
18:26So you know Lean In sold a millions
of copies as millions of people have
18:29hopefully read at least part of the book,
right?
18:32At that story, but I don't see that
many people coming into the workplace
18:36asking what they can do for the company.
18:39Ask what you can do.
18:40I promise, you will get mentors, you
will get sponsors, you will get results,
18:44you will get promotions, you will
get opportunities by contributing.
18:48If it is about you, it won't happen
because organizations are not about you,
18:54organizations are about
the organization and their mission.
18:58And when you serve that mission and
19:00when you work hard towards the betterment
of the people around you, and
19:04I think I learned that at home,
that's where real success comes from.
19:08But you can't fake it.
19:09You can't be like, I'm going to pretend to
care about everyone else in our mission to
19:13get myself ahead.
19:14That won't work.
19:15You actually have to care.
19:16So you have to work some place
with people you can care about and
19:19with a mission you can care about.
19:21>> You published Lean In 2013,
and as you said,
19:24it's gone on to sell millions of copies.
19:28In it, you wrote a chapter called
make your partner a real partner.
19:32And you share an anecdote about Dave
taught you how to diaper your son, and
19:36also that 26 of the 28 women who've
served as Fortune 500 CEO's were married.
19:44And so,
do you still view it as essential or
19:47really important to women's
success that they have a partner?
19:51>> I mean, it was definitely
a chapter I regretted once Dave died.
19:55I wrote about different forms
of family structure in Lean In.
19:58But I wrote a whole chapter called
Make Your Partner a Real Partner.
20:02And then when I didn't have one I thought
about how hard that would be to read.
20:05Just like the father daughter
dance is just brutal for
20:07the kids who don't have a father.
20:08And I wish they could just
call it something else.
20:11Katie Couric, her husband died as well.
20:13So at her private school in New York,
she tried to get them to change it.
20:19And they told her it was tradition.
20:22And she spoke back on a whole bunch of
other things that were also tradition like
20:25slavery, that are long gone.
20:26>> [LAUGH]
>> But she was like just because
20:30something's traditional does not
mean it's a good idea, right?
20:33And so, not to compare the two,
let's be clear.
20:36One is far worse than the other.
20:38But just because we've
done something the wrong
20:41way doesn't mean we
should continue to do it.
20:44I don't have a partner.
20:46I can no longer say that.
20:48I never said Lean In you had to have one,
and I was clear about that.
20:52I did say you should pick the right one.
20:54That if you're going to have a partner, if
you're going to have a same-sex partner,
20:58same-sex partner's share
tours more evenly so
21:01it's actually less of an issue on average
>> It's always an issue for
21:04any two people in the world to work out.
21:06But if you are going to have a partner,
and you're a woman, and that partner is
21:09going to be a man, picking someone who
supports your career is a really big deal.
21:13And it does make me pretty sad, the data
21:17on your generation is your attitudes
are not that much better than mine.
21:21The data in my generation.
21:22They're getting better a little bit,
right?
21:24The base step dub is the expert.
21:26They're getting better a little bit.
21:27But we don't take surveys and
21:29find out that 98% of the men who
are graduating from college and business
21:34school this year think their wives
should have the same career they have.
21:37That's not what it says.
21:39It should say that, it doesn't say that.
21:41So you might as well know
that about the dating pool.
21:43>> [LAUGH]
>> And
21:44find the ones who are answering
the question the right way.
21:49>> [LAUGH]
>> I'm serious.
21:51I'm dead serious on this.
21:54>> And you do advocate in the book that
your friends date all different types of
21:56men, right?
21:57>> Date whoever you want,
don't marry them.
22:01>> [LAUGH]
>> If you are a woman and
22:04you are an ambitious woman,
and I hope you are,
22:06because men have run the world for
a long time and it's not going that well.
22:10>> [LAUGH]
>> So
22:11I hope every woman in here is ambitious.
22:13And I hope every man in here is
ambitious for the women in his life.
22:15But if you're a woman, and
if you're ambitious, and
22:18if you want a leadership role, which I
hope you all are, don't marry the guy who
22:22when they fill out the survey and no ones
there says my career is more important.
22:27Because you know what?
22:28His career's going to be more important.
22:30There's a lot of societal pressure which
still exists which is reinforcing that.
22:35And while we work to change it
society because we owe you that,
22:38you can change it in your own home by
picking the right home in the first place.
22:43>> Many of the stories that you share
in Lean In are about men who've
22:46championed your career,
from Secretary Summers, to Mark and Dave.
22:51What role have women played?
22:53>> Well, I've never worked for a woman.
22:56And most women have never worked for
a woman.
22:58Because especially the more senior you
get, because we still have basically 5% of
23:02the Fortune 500 CEO jobs or
their equivalent every where in the world.
23:05And so the first thing we could
do is change that by all of you.
23:12But women played a really
important career.
23:15And I think it's worth really
understanding how important it is for
23:18women to support each other.
23:20And also getting rid of what I
think is largely a myth now,
23:22that women don't support each other.
23:24I also think when we look for
support, looking to our peers is much
23:29more important than people talk about and
give credit.
23:33There's endless classes and seminars and
23:35breakout sessions at every
conference on finding a mentor.
23:39And that's important.
23:40And mentorships and
sponsorship's important.
23:41And you have to go about it the right way.
23:44But peers can be just as important and
just as effective.
23:47Lean In circles were founded with
the idea that our peers could mentor us,
23:51based on a lot of research.
23:52And there are now almost
33,000 in 150 countries.
23:55We grow by almost 100 a week.
23:59And we find that the people in them
Do you take on more challenges
24:03are able to fulfill their
dreams at a higher level?
24:11And I believe they're
supposed are helping them.
24:12So when you look for
24:13that support women play that role
in your career, Lean In Circle or
24:18some structure where you are relying on
people explicitly can be really helpful.
24:22And it doesn't have to be people
above you, it can be your peers,
24:24they can be incredibly effective.
24:26>> You offered some interesting
advice backstage that,
24:29having a personal board of directors or
branding yourself is horrible advice.
24:34So [LAUGH] I would love to
hear a little more about that.
24:36>> Yeah,
these are two really bad pieces of advice.
24:38I don't know if you're getting them
here so, if anyone's giving them here,
24:40I apologize in advance.
24:41But.
>> [LAUGH]
24:43>> I wrote in Lean In,
24:44don't ask someone to be your mentor.
24:46Don't walk up to someone and
say, will you be my mentor.
24:49Here's why, that doesn't work.
24:52Because a mentorship is
a real relationship.
24:54It is a relationship where someone invests
in you and you invest back in them.
24:58And I've mentored lots
of people over many,
25:00many decades, not one of which
started with, will you be my mentor.
25:04The way it started was, I learned from
someone and they learned from me.
25:09I mean, I would say Deb Gruenfeld is here,
25:10she's been my mentor in
learning all the data on women.
25:13And I sat next to her at a dinner.
25:15She was the first person who,
we have never had this conversation,
25:18we're having it publicly.
25:18>> [LAUGH]
>> She was the-
25:19>> That's the best possible way, right?
25:21>> She was the first person,
Deb was the first person who told me
25:25that likeability and success for
women were negatively correlated.
25:29I felt like the lights went on,
25:31I understood something, I followed
up I then gave a tac talk on it.
25:36I'm doing one side of this but I think
what happened is she taught me something.
25:40I paid her back by
investing in those ideas.
25:42She really care that
people know those ideas.
25:45She now serves on the Lean In Board,
and she mentors me in that way and
25:48hopefully I've given back in lots of
ways and it's a real relationship.
25:53It started with substance.
25:55The real relationship
start with substance.
25:57Being on someone's personal board of
directors what you're saying is, hi,
26:01it's all about me.
26:03And I'm going to come to you for
your advice.
26:05People don't have Boards of Directors,
companies do.
26:07>> [LAUGH]
>> People have relationships, and
26:10those relationships go both ways.
26:13I promise, if you are Lori Goler, and
26:15you solve the problem of the senior people
around you, they will mentor you all day.
26:20They'll probably never call it that,
but they will do it.
26:24And if you asked for a lot of help but
you don't give back, it won't be real and
26:28you will not get the support
that you're looking for.
26:31So asking someone to be on your personal
board of directors it's just way worst
26:35than solving a problem for them.
26:38For them,
26:39which you have the opportunity even as
the Miss Junior personnel in organization.
26:45And the personal branding,
yeah I feel strongly about this.
26:48>> [LAUGH]
>> People don't have brands.
26:51Colgate has a brand.
26:52>> [LAUGH]
>> This water has a brand.
26:57And I think it's really important because
branding is a very specific thing.
27:02I do a lot of work on branding.
27:04I think about how Facebook's brand
evolves, I think about I'm an advertising
27:09business so I work with companies
all over the world on their brand.
27:13And when you are selling a product, you
are trying to package it and explain it,
27:17I'm going to walk by on a shelf and
I'm going to decide what toothpaste and
27:20that's a decision.
27:22It's a decision that's important to me.
27:24I use toothpaste many times a day and
it's a very important decision for
27:28the companies and
how that value proposition is packaged,
27:31explained clearly and simply, is how I'm
going to make that decision along with
27:36pricing convenience of where it's sold.
27:40That's what products need to be.
27:41They need to be packaged cleanly,
neatly, concretely.
27:46People aren't like that.
27:48If you are trying to package yourself,
you're almost certainly false.
27:52And by the way to be fair to
people who do give this advice,
27:55I don't think that's what they mean.
27:56I think they are giving more nuanced and
careful advice.
27:59I just think in it's interpretation,
28:02it's having a negative
effect because we are messy.
28:07Who am I?
28:07I am the CEO of Facebook,
a company I deeply believe in.
28:11I'm the founder of Lean In and Option B.
28:12I'm an author, I'm a mom, I'm a widow.
28:17At some level,
I'm still deeply heartbroken.
28:20I am a friend, and I am a sister.
28:23And there are people in my life
I am not in touch with any more.
28:25Like, I am a lot of very messy,
complicated things.
28:30And if I put myself out there,
or even with a friend,
28:33sit and I am not honest about all
of those things, I am not real.
28:39And I don't think people should try
to package themselves up because
28:42it's not real.
28:44So, Scotty McQuillan is here.
28:45He's been one of the most
important people in my life.
28:47I took his class when I
was in business school.
28:49I think some of you are fortunate enough
to be, you're taking his class right now.
28:53And that's what your class is about.
28:55It is about who we are as people, and
nowhere in there would you ever give
29:00anyone advice to simplify, or package,
or put one face out to the world because
29:05that is exactly the opposite of what we
need from each other and from ourselves.
29:09>> In Lean In you write about how it's
a fallacy to that you can have it all.
29:16That people don't have it all it's
a question of, can you do it all?
29:19And the answer is often no.
29:20But in your case it does seem like from
the outsider's perspective you do it all.
29:26And so from your own point of view,
what have you given up or
29:31what choices have you made
to do all that you have?
29:34Founding Lean In and Option B,
29:36and leading one of the biggest
tech companies in the world?
29:40>> Well, the most important thing I do is,
I hire really well.
29:44I have amazing teams.
29:46As one person,
you couldn't do what Facebook does.
29:48We have 16,000 unbelievable people and
I have an unbelievable boss, and
29:53leader, and partner in Mark.
29:55And, my foundation, Option B, launched,
I don't know, a month ago and
29:59we have 350,000 people in the community
and the community's really helping people.
30:03It's helping me.
30:05That's because my foundation team rocks.
30:08And so it's never about one person.
30:10I could never do all this.
30:11But if I have a great team and
30:13great working relationships with people,
together we can do an awful lot.
30:17The having it all concept is so
problematic.
30:19You know, you are all a little young, so
30:22I'll try to do the younger
view of this subject.
30:24But for the men who are older.
30:26So let me do this.
30:27For men in the room, has anyone
ever questioned should you work?
30:32You sure you want to work?
30:33>> [LAUGH]
>> Okay-
30:37>> We're also at a business school, so
30:38it might be biased.
30:39>> [LAUGH]
>> But again,
30:40this may not work because of age, but
30:42I promise it'll work with
the older women here.
30:44For women who are here, has anyone
ever said, should you be working?
30:49And so what you guys can't see is,
keep your hands up.
30:53Every woman in this room who's
above 40 have your hand up.
30:56No, I'm serious.
30:58There's no woman,
you cannot no matter what you can do.
31:01You can have my career or any career.
31:04You cannot get to the age of
40 as a woman in United States
31:08without someone asking
you if you should work.
31:11Okay, 70% of mothers in the workplace,
most women have to work.
31:15We never ask men how they have it all.
31:17I get asked that by reporters all
the time, I always say the same thing.
31:22I want to answer that question,
because you don't ask men.
31:23>> Right.
31:25>> They say, Yes I always ask men.
31:26I'm like, great show me the article
where you've asked the man,
31:28I didn't write it in the article.
31:30>> [LAUGH]
>> But I always ask them-
31:32>> It's not news worthy.
31:33>> Right, I stopped answering
that question, and I just said,
31:35show me the interview where
you've asked a man that question.
31:38There is no, how do you do it all?
31:40To a man, No ne asks that.
31:42Because what we're saying is that you
can't have a career and you can't
31:47have a family and this is so important I
think of the age of most of you are which
31:52is we tell women they can't do it all and
they leave before they leave.
31:57They leave before they leave that
we I am watching woman after
32:02woman after woman Lean back because
they're going to have kids one day.
32:06I've given a lot of talks at
a lot of companies, and I'll say,
32:10to rooms full of people like this, stand
up if you want to be CEO of your company.
32:15And some of the men will stand up,
very few of the women and if you ask why?
32:21A lot of the women will say, well, I
want to have a family and then I say okay,
32:25who's had a meeting with the CEO?
32:28And they raise their hand,
32:29I say keep your hand up if
the meeting was set on your schedule.
32:33Turns out that meeting was
set on a CEO schedule.
32:36People miss that as you get more senior,
you often have more control not less.
32:41No, not all the time and
there's always exceptions but
32:44what's really is that men are being
told to keep their foot in gas pedal,
32:47women subtlely,
subtlely often leaning back.
32:52And then fast forward ten years in the
workplace they're both working full time.
32:55The woman is just making less,
32:57less senior and has less control
over schedule for their scheds.
33:03And so, even if you're not a 100%
sure you're going to stay in.
33:06Even if you've been told over and
over again you can't do it all,
33:10even if I watch a man like me be
interviewed and asked that question or
33:13because people have said it directly
to you just stay in until you leave.
33:17Because I gave you the optimal choices and
then you can decide and
33:21I've never said everyone
should say in the workforce.
33:24I really want people to follow
their own dreams and for
33:26a lot of people working in the home is
the most gratifying thing they can do.
33:29I just want women to make that
from a place of strength.
33:34I want them to have the best job they
can possibly have and then make that.
33:38I want them to have partners who
are doing their share in the home, and
33:41then make those decisions.
33:44>> In Lean In you write and
33:45encourage the readers to make
decisions as if you were unafraid.
33:50What is one thing that you're
afraid of that you have yet to do?
33:56>> Well, I just did option b so
I feel like that counts for right now.
33:59I'm in the middle of doing it.
34:00>> So am I.
34:01>> [LAUGH]
>> But
34:03I wrote a book on my husband's death and
what it's like and
34:08what is grief and what is resilience and
what is trying to rebuild.
34:10And so,
that's actually a pretty scary thing.
34:13So I don't think I have my next thing yet,
but I knew why I did it.
34:20I did it because I want
something good to come out.
34:23I mean John was right, Dave was
beloved and beloved in this community.
34:29At his funeral and I know somebody
in the front row were there with me.
34:32Our friend Zander asked the crowd,
34:34raise your hand if Dave Goldberg
changed your life.
34:37And so, I mean a sea of hands went up,
it was extraordinary.
34:43And I know if Dave were still alive he'd
be doing so much good for so many people
34:47and so from his staff we can do option
b and we can help other people recover.
34:52I feel that it honors the life he led.
34:55And so, it is still hard and
still scary sometimes to talk about it but
34:59I feel like I'm trying to do some good.
35:02My favorite story in the book, the book is
my story, a lot of really good research
35:06and a lot of stories of other
people who have faced resilience.
35:09And some pretty important stuff
on resilience for companies and
35:11careers in case you're interested.
35:16My favorite story is
a guy named Joe Casper.
35:18And he lost his son, but he was a doctor,
so he dealt with other people's life and
35:22death all the time, but then his son died.
35:24So now along with being a doctor,
he counsels other bereaved parents.
35:28And he says that it feels that
it extends his son's legacy and
35:31even his son's life,
by doing good in his son's name.
35:35And I think the reason I did when I was
not was afraid to do which is be this open
35:38about it was because I think it
extends day for work legacy.
35:43And I do think that there's a lesson
in there and not when you ask guys to
35:46question all the time what would
you do if you weren't afraid,
35:48the point is not do stupid
things you're afraid of.
35:51>> [LAUGH]
>> Like my sister jumped out
35:54of an airplane once.
35:56I was terrified and angry.
35:59I'm like that just seems stupid to me.
36:01Sorry for all you airplane jumpers.
36:03>> [LAUGH]
>> I mean,
36:03some people have to do it because
they're serving in the military, but
36:06do you have to jump out of a plane today?
36:08I don't know.
36:09Maybe it's your dream and you want to
do it, but what I don't mean is,
36:12what would you do if you
weren't afraid and go do it?
36:14You take risks for reward, so you do
something challenging and hard like write
36:19this book because I'm trying to make
something good come from tragedy.
36:23You take the hard job because
the company has meaning,
36:27you take the hard role because you
believe you can make the team better.
36:32Ask yourself what you would do if you
weren't afraid, but ask yourself why?
36:35And there needs to be a really
good why for most of us.
36:41>> Many of us are graduating,
36:43next month as you think back on your own
graduation from Harvard Business School.
36:47What's something that you know,
just in your gut,
36:49that you're capable of today that
you wish that you knew then?
36:56Leading to tragedy.
I mean I never would have thought.
37:00I gave the Harvard Business School
commencement speech 2014 maybe.
37:08I don't remember, looks like three
years ago, further back, 2012?
37:14And the day I gave it, the day before
one of the members of that class died.
37:18He drowned suddenly and
the whole class was in mourning.
37:23I wore the pin, we all did, and I sat
there giving this speech thinking, My God,
37:26there's a woman in this audience
whose husband drowned last night.
37:28I think she was there.
37:32And I would have never,
in a million years,
37:34thought that I would be that person.
37:35And I just met her, she's in Houston
now and she's incredible and
37:39she's going back to her, yeah,
it's the 5th year reunion, so it was 2012.
37:44She's going, I think, this weekend or next
to her husband's class five year reunion.
37:49Which I think is incredibly brave.
37:52I'm proud of her.
37:53>> Thank you so much.
37:55We'll open it up to the audience for
a few questions.
37:58Reminder if you have
a question please stand and
38:00state your name when
they bring you the mic.
38:05>> Hi, Sheryl.
38:07My name is Shami.
38:08First year MBA student at the GSB.
38:12Especially here at the view from the top
when we hear business leaders speak
38:15they often speak about what
makes them successful.
38:18But you're different in that you
choose to inspire people about
38:21speaking about overcoming loss and
overcoming your doubts.
38:25How did you choose to become
this kind of a leader?
38:31>> It's funny, I don't know if I chose
to become this kind of leader, or
38:34that I thought there were things that
weren't being said that needed to be said.
38:39So I graduated from undergrad in 91,
from business school in 1995.
38:43And I looked above me and it was all men,
and I looked alongside me and
38:46there were all these great women.
38:48And I just thought by the time I
got where I was, it would be half.
38:53And it just wasn't.
38:54And so there were two thing,
bunch of things I wanted to say.
38:59That I thought people weren't saying one
was that men still run the world and
39:02that's not okay.
39:04Like put a stake in the ground
that it's not okay.
39:06When I'd gone on the TED stage and
I said men still run the world,
39:09everyone gasp as if that was a surprise.
39:12>> [LAUGH]
>> And to this day,
39:13I can go into rooms and say,
men still run the world, and
39:16people are like yes they do,
what a shocker.
39:19You're like, guys you have 95% of the top
shops this isn't that hard, right?
39:24But the answer is why, like what are the
cultural things that are holding us back?
39:28Ready men in the audience, men only.
39:30Raise you hand if anyone
ever called you bossy.
39:32>> [LAUGH]
>> There's always one or two.
39:38Women in the audience, raise your
hand if anyone ever called you bossy.
39:43I wanted her to turn around and
look at that, put your hands back up.
39:50So next time you see a little
girl called bossy, and
39:52it will be this weekend if you look for
her, you walk right up to the people
39:55who called her bossy,
probably her parents, and you say,
39:58that little girl is not bossy, that little
girl has executive leadership skills.
40:03>> [LAUGH] [LAUGH]
40:07[APPLAUSE]
40:11>> Okay, I want you to wait, ready?
40:14I'm going to try that the other way.
40:16That little boy has
executive leadership skills.
40:21I have done that, exactly that way, and
gotten a huge laugh out of every audience,
40:26in every country I have ever done that in.
40:29But here's the bad news.
40:32That's bias, and if you don't think
you have it, I just proved you do.
40:38Because the reason we laugh is that it's
funny that a little girl has executive
40:41leadership skills, because it goes
against our expectations and type.
40:45So in case you sit here at
the Stanford Business School,
40:49thinking that other people have the biases
that hold women back, it's you too.
40:54I laughed, you laughed,
it's me and it's you.
41:01We all have the stereotype that
is keeping women from leading.
41:05And you just got through two years
at Stanford and it didn't change.
41:09No, let's be honest,
that's what I wanted to say.
41:15And then I wanted to say there's a whole
bunch of stuff women are also doing to
41:19hold themselves back.
41:20So I don't think I chose to be any kind of
leader, I chose to say those three things.
41:25We need more women in leadership,
the culture is holding us back, and
41:29there are things we can do.
41:30And again I think, if you're looking for
what kind of leader you're going to be,
41:34you are too inwardly focused.
41:36Focus on what you want to say, because it
matters, or what you want to build, or
41:41what you want to make, or
who you want to serve.
41:44And that's how you become the kind of
leader you are, if that makes sense.
41:56>> I'm Paul, I'm a second year student,
41:58and I'm not trying to ask you if
you're going to run for president.
42:00>> [LAUGH]
>> Which means that I am asking you that,
42:04but let's just frame it as career advice.
42:07So you worked in the Clinton
administration and
42:09you're obviously very interested in
public service and the public sector.
42:13And for those of us who are interested in
both government and private sector work.
42:17How do you think about the pros and
cons and going forward in your career,
42:21how do you think about blending those?
42:23>> [LAUGH]
>> That's a business school question!
42:27>> That's a good question.
42:28>> [LAUGH]
>> So for me, for my answer,
42:32is I really love my job at Facebook and
it gives me what I want to do.
42:36And then, but I do have a loud voice, an
increasingly loud voice on public policy.
42:42I know what I think a whole
bunch of policies work and
42:44I'm increasingly using that voice.
42:46And I think I have the ability to have
that voice, and it's one I'm using loudly.
42:53Going in and out, look,
there's two paths in the US government.
42:56There's civil servants, where you really
go in and you move up the ladder, and
42:59there's going in and out.
43:01I think being open to doing that,
thinking about running for office,
43:04all of that stuff really makes sense.
43:07And I think we need the country's best and
brightest to do this.
43:09I also think we'd be well
served by having more
43:12people who were in business in office.
43:15I think about some of the things
that I thought at the U.S.
43:18Treasury that really changed once I had to
make payroll, and that was the Treasury,
43:22which is the finance department.
43:24And so I do think having more business
leaders, like all of you, running for
43:27office and
serving in government is really important.
43:30Bob Rubin, who is the chairman of
Goldman Sachs and then the secretary of
43:33the treasury, made that point for a very
long time, and I think it's a good one.
43:38So I'm glad to hear you ask that question,
and I hope a lot of you are open to that,
43:42because you could do a lot of good.
43:47[LAUGH]
>> [LAUGH]
43:52>> A serious answer to the question is,
43:54I feel like I'm trying to
do all the good I can, and
43:57there's always different ways to do it.
44:00But I really believe in what
Facebook's doing, I really do.
44:03I believe that we need global companies,
I believe that we need global voice.
44:07I believe there are 4 billion people who
aren't connected to data that we can help
44:11connect, but it's because I believe that,
that I stay.
44:19>> My name is Kristof Meyer,
I'm a second year here.
44:22As COO of Facebook, you led
the company through tremendous growth.
44:26There's another rocket ship that's
facing a few problems right now,
44:30that I hear is also looking for a COO.
44:32What would you do if you
were the new COO of Uber?
44:37>> [LAUGH]
>> I mean,
44:42it's a really hard question
to answer from the outside.
44:46>> [LAUGH]
>> It's a really hard question from
44:48the outside, I don't understand their
business deeply enough, I mean, at all,
44:52at all to answer, but
here's what I would do.
44:54I would take that job if I had
the relationship with Travis,
44:57that could really make an impact.
44:59And I felt there was a real desire to
45:02address the issues that
needed to be addressed.
45:04And it's not just the COO job.
45:07It really is,
45:08as you take every role you're going to
take, and you guys, I'm so honored and
45:12excited to be here as your, I guess
your last speaker before you graduate.
45:15Because how exciting, you've studied
at one of the best institutions,
45:19you have these tremendous
classmates around you.
45:22You're asking all of
these amazing questions.
45:24Like, go out and make a difference.
45:27And you're going to do that by finding
things you really care about, and
45:31building relationships with the people
around you that make you care.
45:35I say at Facebook to this question, it
does get asked with some frequency, right?
45:38It's been nine and
45:39a half years because I'm doing something
I care about with my best friend.
45:42That's a pretty special thing to do.
45:45So whoever takes that job, if someone
takes that job, they have to believe in
45:48what Uber's doing, and they have to
believe in their relationship with Travis.
45:52And then they have to build
the team around them,
45:54and it's the exact same thing for
your jobs.
45:57Whatever you're about to go do,
if you haven't figured it out or
46:00you are figuring it out.
46:01Do something you care about
with people you believe and
46:05focus on what you contribute, that's it.
46:08And be willing to move around, I wrote in
Lean In that careers are a jungle gym,
46:12not a ladder.
46:13Careers are a jungle gym.
46:15I moved sideways, I didn't always move up.
46:18If I had insisted on moving up,
46:19I never would have taken
the number two job at Facebook.
46:22I could have been CEO,
46:23everything else that we're talking
about I would have been CEO.
46:26If I took another job now,
I would run the company.
46:28But, I'd rather be number two at Facebook,
if that's even a concept, right?
46:33I mean, we have a team,
it's not just me and Mark,
46:36than be number one on
something I don't believe in.
46:38And I think the number two and the number
one is the wrong way to think about it.
46:42It's the relationship, the purpose,
the mission and what you can contribute.
46:46Same thing, your job decision is the same
as whoever's going to go be CEO of Uber.
46:52>> We have time for one final question.
46:56>> Hi, my name is Josh and
I'm a first year MBA student.
46:59And kind of following on to that,
47:00you mentioned how you navigated
these different career decisions?
47:03And so with getting to these rocket ships,
47:06what really made those companies and
teams that you've joined stand out?
47:12>> Well I've only done it twice, right?
47:13I did Google and Facebook.
47:16With Google, I really believed in a
mission of making the world's information,
47:21giving the world information.
47:23And I could see how much easier it was,
I mean when Google started, you know,
47:27I used to go to the library.
47:28Like, go to the library.
47:31>> [LAUGH]
>> Literally,
47:32I grew up in Encyclopedia Britannica
in my dad's little study.
47:36It was just spell bounding how you could
just get information on your computer.
47:43I really believe there was an unmet need,
and
47:44with Facebook I felt like it turned
the lights on on who people were.
47:48Before Facebook, they had that,
you probably don't remember this,
47:51there was the famous cartoon of a dog
sitting in front of the computer.
47:53And it said, on the Internet,
no one knows you're a dog.
47:56>> [LAUGH]
>> I mean Facebook was the first time
47:58there was real identity on the Internet.
48:00So everything I believe about
being authentic and who you are,
48:04was going to become true because of
this company run by this 23 year old.
48:09It was pretty amazing, and so
48:10it was really that I thought
they were making these needs.
48:14The other think I'll say is it's not,
along with passion, I do think it's really
48:19worth investing in your own skills, and
trying the things you're not as good at.
48:23Try the things that matter,
take a sales job.
48:27I think too few people out of
business will take sales jobs.
48:30I sell all day, I sell ads for
Facebook, I do BD deals where I sell.
48:35Every time I'm recruiting
someone I'm selling,
48:38when I'm trying to convince people,
we all do that.
48:40Take those jobs where you're
really rolling your hands up.
48:43I have a poster in my office
that I got from Howard Schultz,
48:46I served on his board.
48:48Of two dirty hands, and it says,
the future belongs to those
48:52of us still willing to get our hands
dirty, and it's in my conference room.
48:58Do something you care about and
get your hands dirty doing it.
49:02You'll be able to do anything, I promise.
49:05>> Sheryl, thank you so
much for being here.
49:06>> I want to say good luck!
49:07>> [APPLAUSE]
49:16[MUSIC]
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