00:06I have a confession to make.
00:08I have an addiction.
00:10My addiction is so compulsive,
it interferes with everyday life.
00:15I'm not as productive as I want to be.
00:18I often find it hard to focus,
and when people tell me to stop,
00:23I simply ignore them.
00:24I'm addicted to my smartphone.
00:27>> [LAUGH]
>> Really I'm addicted to distraction, and
00:32many of us here are too.
00:35On a regular day, we unlock our cell
phones more than 120 times per day.
00:41I decided to run an experiment to
better understand that addiction.
00:45I, of course, used my phone to
download an app called Moment and
00:49began to track my usage.
00:52I apparently unlock my cell phone
more than 130 times per day.
00:56That is every nine minutes.
00:59What is so gripping that I can't resist?
01:03I'm stalking people on Facebook I
haven't seen since middle school.
01:06>> [LAUGH]
>> And on a bad day,
01:09I'm reading listicles, like ten cute
child stars who grew up to be ugly.
01:13>> [LAUGH]
>> Why do so
01:18many of us feel this compulsive
urge to grab our phone?
01:23Because our phone is like
a slot machine in Vegas.
01:26We never know what reward, new tweet, new
email, new text message, that child star
01:31turned ugly, awaits us, and the result,
120 times per day we lose our focus.
01:37Don't get me wrong here,
I love technology,
01:39because technology gives us superpowers.
01:44Superpowers to see my boyfriend
in Berlin every night and
01:48to obtain information about
anything in an instant,
01:51or to get instant memories
about thoughts and images.
01:55So sometimes you do use these superpowers
wisely, but most often we don't.
02:01120 times per day we lose our focus.
02:05There's a tremendous cost to this,
at work, in our relationships,
02:13At work, we could use these superpowers
to do research or to talk to colleagues.
02:19Instead, we're addicted to distraction.
02:24On a typical day, I'm sitting on
my computer doing actual work and
02:27quickly check my phone, see my messages,
take a phone call, check my emails on
02:31my phone to then immediately hit
Refresh on my computer emails again.
02:35>> [LAUGH]
>> On days like this, I could have as well
02:39stared at the wall for
two hours because according to research,
02:42my productively levels are the same
as after pulling an all-nighter.
02:47At work, I'm present, but
absent, and maybe you are too.
02:53In our relationships, we could use
our superpowers to talk to family and
02:57friends all over the world, instead,
we're often present but absent.
03:03A friend of mine recently said lately,
my fiance and I come home and grab dinner.
03:08We are on our email still, and
03:11that makes us feel we're together,
but alone.
03:18Sometimes I even reject his advances,
03:20because I quickly want to finish
looking through my Facebook friends.
03:25>> [LAUGH]
>> We've gone now from stonewalling to
03:33As the relationship expert, John Gottman
found, in our relationship, the number
03:38one predictor of an unhappy union,
is a lack of responsiveness and attention.
03:44In her relationship, my friend often
finds herself present, but absent.
03:49And maybe you do, too.
03:52Let's look at ourselves.
03:53When we're along with our thoughts, we
could use our superpowers to capture our
03:58thoughts or
read interesting books and articles.
04:04Instead we're addicted to distraction.
04:07What would you prefer, pain or boredom?
04:12And in an experiment,
04:14researchers gave participants a small
electric shock that was so unpleasant
04:19that three-quarters of them were willing
to pay not to experience that shock again.
04:24Then research put those same participants
into a room to sit alone for 15 minutes.
04:29Subjects were so uncomfortable being
alone with their own thoughts that they
04:33now shocked themselves voluntarily.
04:35>> [LAUGH]
>> One outlier pressed that button
04:40a 190 times in 15 minutes.
04:44>> [LAUGH]
>> These participants when they're
04:49alone are absent but present but absent.
04:56And maybe you are, too.
04:57So this is the world we live in.
05:01Today, I want to sketch
out a new world for you.
05:03A world where we can finally
make use of these superpowers
05:06to live a more present life at work,
in our relationships, and with ourself.
05:12At work, there is a concept
which is called deep work
05:16which makes you focus without
distraction on a single task.
05:19And the result, increased productivity,
improved performance, and
05:24the sense of true fulfillment
that comes from craftsmanship.
05:28When writing this talk, I went and
blocked four hour slots.
05:32I'll use my phone for research but ignored
all notifications, emails, and texts.
05:39I felt productive in a way I had
not felt in a very long time.
05:43I felt satisfied with my work and
with myself.
05:46I felt effective, and maybe you would too.
05:51Let's look at our relationships.
05:53My mother helped me see a different
world during Christmas.
05:56Her simple recipe was a cell phone bowl.
05:59During meals and family time, we had
to put our cell phone into that bowl.
06:04Today, I'm grateful for
the world she created for us.
06:07Christmas truly was endless cookie smells,
laughter until we had tears in our eyes.
06:13And my grandmother who came grey and
looking much older than I remember her
06:17even looking rejuvenated with red
cheeks and a beautiful smirk.
06:24During that time, I felt pure joy,
and maybe you would, too.
06:31Let's look at ourselves.
06:33After that memorable Christmas, I was
sitting on a plane back to San Francisco.
06:39I was sitting in my seat with no
emails and texts to distract myself.
06:43And my mind went to how excited I
felt flying back into Silicon Valley,
06:47that this is what Florence must
have felt like in the Renaissance.
06:53I then started wondering about my
constant struggle to juggle my life in
06:58Germany with my life here.
07:00For more than a year,
I've been debating whether to stay here or
07:03to go home after graduation.
07:05I started thinking about how grateful
I was for this wonderful family,
07:11and I wondered if they knew how much
this time with them meant to me.
07:14Silent tears started running down my face,
and in that moment,
07:19I decided that in spite of
all the opportunities here,
07:23I will go home after graduation
because it simply felt right.
07:28Landing in San Francisco that morning,
I felt deeply in touch with myself.
07:34What about a world where we don't
feel FOMO because of social media,
07:37but because we haven't taken the time
to catch up with our mental news feed.
07:42After that time in that plane,
I felt clear and grounded,
07:47and maybe you would too.
07:52So how can you all deal with your
own addiction to distraction?
07:56What worked for
me is to take present time and space for
08:01work, to take time,
focused time with my family,
08:05and to take that time and
space to be alone with my own thoughts.
08:09Today, I'm finally using those superpowers
that technology gives me to live a more
08:13present life at work,
in my relationships, and with myself.
08:19I invite you to do the same.
08:21Take focused time and
space where distraction is not an option,
08:25where work is only work, where
conversation is only conversation, and
08:29where self-reflection enables you to
expand more than you thought was possible.
08:35In the philosopher, Eckhart Tolle's words,
08:38it is the quality of our consciousness at
a given moment, that shapes our future.
08:42What do you want the future to be for you?
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