00:01marsha linehan who developed dbt
00:03defines mindfulness as the act of
00:05consciously focusing the mind
00:07in the present moment a person who is
00:11and of the present moment mindfulness is
00:14the opposite of being on automatic pilot
00:16or being lost in habit mindfulness
00:19is the intentional process of observing
00:23and participating in reality
00:25non-judgmentally in the present moment
00:28so now we're going to look at what this
00:30definition entails and some of the
00:31reasons why mindfulness is so important
00:36now there are seven core mindfulness
00:39the first is wise mind and i already
00:41have a video about wise mind that i'll
00:43link to in the description and pin
00:45next there are the what skills what are
00:48we doing when we're practicing
00:50which are observing describing
00:54and participating and then the how
00:57how do we do mindfulness how do we
01:00describe and participate and these are
01:03non-judgmentally one mindfully
01:10and finally the goals of practicing
01:13to reduce suffering and increase
01:16and to increase control of our minds and
01:18stop allowing our minds to control
01:23so first let's look at observing
01:26involves paying attention on purpose to
01:30and we say on purpose because if we
01:32don't deliberately choose to focus our
01:35in the present moment we're often just
01:37functioning on automatic pilot
01:38and our minds will tend to wander away
01:40from the present quite quickly
01:42and we'll end up daydreaming we're lost
01:46we're looking ahead to the future and we
01:48can lose track of what's going on
01:49right now in this moment in the present
01:52altogether when we're observing we're
01:55observing what's going on
01:57outside ourselves external things we're
01:59taking in through our senses
02:02and we're also observing what's going on
02:04inside ourselves with our thoughts
02:06feelings and emotions and bodies
02:09observing is important because if we're
02:11not observing what's going on in the
02:14we lack awareness and without awareness
02:16we lose the ability to influence what
02:19if we're not aware of what's going on
02:21around us we can't know how to respond
02:24we can't interact effectively with other
02:26people we can't assess whether our
02:29behaviors and thoughts about a situation
02:33proportional or balanced and we can't
02:35tailor our responses to fit the
02:39and if we're not observing our thoughts
02:41and not aware of what we're thinking
02:42then we leave ourselves at the mercy of
02:44our thoughts without awareness we can't
02:46exert any control over our minds
02:48and instead we allow our minds to
02:50control us which is the opposite of one
02:52of the goals of mindfulness
02:55and if we're not observing our emotions
02:57and the body sensations that go along
02:59we lack awareness into what and how
03:01we're feeling and we can be quickly
03:04by emotional mind and when we're not
03:07observing our own behavior
03:09we often end up acting on automatic
03:11pilot not really aware of what we're
03:13or how we're behaving which means we
03:15don't even give ourselves a chance to
03:18how we're acting but if we're observing
03:21we give ourselves the opportunity to act
03:23differently and more effectively
03:25in ways that are more helpful to us in
03:29and that ties into one of the house
03:30skills of mindfulness we'll be talking
03:33when we're acting mindfully we're acting
03:37and observing is one of the four parts
03:39of the distress tolerance skill
03:40stop which stands for stop what you're
03:45take a step back and observe
03:48observing gives us the chance to take
03:50stock of the situation
03:52become aware of what's going on outside
03:55inside of ourselves and with our
03:59and then it's only once we've observed
04:00what's going on that we're able to
04:02choose how we wish to move forward
04:04and then we can proceed in the way
04:06that's going to be most effective for
04:10describing can simply involve putting
04:12words on our experience
04:14i'm seeing the sunset
04:17i'm hearing some birds
04:21i'm starting to feel a little anxious
04:26there's some tightness in my throat
04:32i'm thinking that person's being a real
04:37or i'm worrying what if i can't get this
04:41now describing helps keep us grounded in
04:44because we can't be describing what
04:45we're experiencing if our minds have
04:47wandered away from the present moment
04:49so describing forces us to stay in the
04:52and describing helps us take a step back
04:54from our experiences
04:56and when we take a step back we're able
04:58to observe things more clearly
05:00and that's why take a step back is the
05:02second part of the stop skill
05:04when we take a step back from a
05:05situation we can become aware of what's
05:08and when we're able to take a step back
05:10from our thoughts feelings and emotions
05:12and body sensations we can observe them
05:15without getting caught up in them
05:17which helps prevent them from becoming
05:20and when we take a step back from our
05:21behavior we can observe what we're doing
05:24and how we're acting
05:25and choose to act differently and more
05:27effectively rather than being stuck on
05:31now instead of describing the content of
05:33what we're experiencing
05:35we can simply put a label on our
05:36experience without describing
05:38the content of that experience so
05:41instead of describing i'm watching the
05:44just labeling that experience as
05:48so leaving out the part about what
05:49you're watching or seeing
05:52instead of describing i'm hearing some
05:54birds labeling the experience
05:56simply as listening listening or hearing
06:00and not describing the content of what
06:04instead of i'm feeling anxious just
06:07labeling that experience as
06:08i'm feeling an emotion or there's a
06:11sensation in my chest
06:15instead of i'm thinking about or i'm
06:19simply i'm having a thought i'm worrying
06:24or even just the words thinking thinking
06:27or worrying worrying and where this can
06:30be particularly helpful
06:32is when we're labeling what's going on
06:35because so often when we focus on the
06:37content of a thought
06:38rather than just the fact that we're
06:40having a thought we start thinking about
06:43which leads to another thought and
06:46and another and before we know it we're
06:49dozens of thoughts away from what's
06:51actually going on in the present moment
06:53and once our thoughts get going they
06:55have a tendency to take over
06:56and this relates to one of the goals of
07:00which is to increase control of our
07:01minds and not allow our minds to control
07:05and when we allow our minds to control
07:07us they can set off all sorts of vicious
07:10between our thoughts and emotions
07:13and body sensations that can lead us to
07:15start acting out of emotional mind
07:19or when we allow our minds to control us
07:22we can be pulled into downward spirals
07:24leaving us feeling sad and overwhelmed
07:27and maybe even depressed
07:28and again acting out of emotional mind
07:32but when we're able to observe and
07:34describe what we're experiencing
07:36and take a step back from our thoughts
07:38feelings and emotions
07:40body sensations and behavior we make it
07:43much more likely that we stay in control
07:46and we can assess things and make
07:48choices based on what's best for the
07:51and proceed more effectively rather than
07:53acting out of emotional mind
07:55or on automatic pilot
08:01now what's so special about the present
08:02moment well first of all we can't
08:05observe or describe our experiences if
08:07our minds aren't situated in the present
08:09but on top of that being in the present
08:12moment helps us achieve the first goal
08:14of mindfulness in dbt
08:15which is to reduce suffering and
08:19research shows that we tend to be
08:20happier when our minds are focused on
08:22and we're paying attention to whatever
08:24we're doing in the present moment
08:26than we are when we allow our minds to
08:28wander off somewhere else
08:30and a big part of that is because our
08:31experiences are more enjoyable
08:33and more meaningful when we're fully
08:35paying attention to whatever we're doing
08:37but there are also negative effects when
08:39we allow our minds to wander away from
08:43if our minds wander to something
08:44pleasant such as fond memories or
08:47or plants that are coming up that we're
08:49excited about we're only very slightly
08:52than we are when we keep our minds
08:53focused in the present moment
08:56but when our minds wander to something
08:58neutral like just jumping around from
09:00thought to thought or daydreaming about
09:02nothing in particular
09:03we're definitely less happy and when our
09:06minds wander to something unpleasant
09:08we're significantly less happy and we
09:10start to cause ourselves to suffer
09:13so for example if our minds wander to
09:15unpleasant topics from the past
09:17such as bad memories regrets and
09:20self-criticisms about things we have and
09:22haven't done and the way things have
09:24we end up feeling sad we hurt our
09:27self-confidence and self-esteem
09:28and can pull ourselves into a downward
09:30spiral that leaves us feeling depressed
09:33and if our minds wander into the future
09:35and we start worrying about all the
09:37what-ifs and the bad things that can
09:39we leave ourselves feeling anxious
09:43and if our minds wander to thinking
09:45about all the work we have and
09:46everything we need to get done
09:48we end up feeling stressed and if our
09:51minds wander away from the present
09:52and onto something mean someone said to
09:54us or some wrong that's been done to us
09:56or something unfair that's happened and
09:58we start dwelling on this
10:00we start feeling angry so when we're
10:02able to keep ourselves and our minds
10:04focused in the present moment we
10:06experience more happiness
10:08and we avoid the suffering that tends to
10:09come along when we allow ourselves to
10:11get stuck in the past
10:13or spend too much time focusing on the
10:16now participating involves committing
10:18ourselves completely into the present
10:21it's the opposite of automatic pilot we
10:24engage with what we're experiencing in
10:25the present moment and nothing else
10:28and participating is related to a
10:30concept from positive psychology
10:32called flow a flow state is the mental
10:35state in which a person performing some
10:37activity is fully immersed in a feeling
10:40with full involvement and enjoyment in
10:42the process of the activity
10:45so these are the what mindfulness skills
10:48the house of mindfulness are observing
10:52and participating in our experiences in
10:55non-judgmentally one mindfully and
11:00so when we're being mindful we're paying
11:02attention to our experiences
11:03in the present moment non-judgmentally
11:07we're not judging or evaluating our
11:09experiences as being good or bad
11:12pleasant or unpleasant desirable or
11:16we're simply noticing and paying
11:18attention to these experiences as
11:21and accepting them and allowing them to
11:26and we're doing this one mindfully we're
11:28completely present in the moment
11:30we're just doing one thing at a time and
11:32focusing all of our attention
11:34on that one thing if we're eating we're
11:37paying attention to how the food tastes
11:39the aroma the texture of what it feels
11:43we're not watching tv and eating on
11:47we're not even thinking about the food
11:49we're experiencing the act of eating
11:52without judging it through our thoughts
11:54and if we're talking to someone
11:56we're listening to them and doing
11:58nothing else we're not daydreaming
12:00we're not thinking about what we're
12:02gonna have for dinner we're not even
12:04thinking about what we're gonna say next
12:06we keep ourselves completely in the
12:08present moment our minds completely
12:10focused on what they're saying
12:11and nothing else the last how of
12:14mindfulness is effectively
12:16we're mindful of our goals in the
12:18situation and we do what's necessary to
12:21we focus on what works and don't allow
12:24emotion mind to get in the way of us
12:27we do what's needed for the situation
12:29that we find ourselves in
12:31and this how of effectively ties back
12:33into what we were talking about earlier
12:35with respect to observing and describing
12:38and that when we observe and describe
12:40in the present moment we give ourselves
12:42the opportunity to act
12:44more effectively rather than acting out
12:47or just going through the motions on
12:49automatic pilot or falling into our
12:52that often aren't very effective and
12:54causes more harm than good
12:57and in my next video on advanced
12:58mindfulness skills in dbt
13:00we'll look at some ways to practice and
13:02develop these skills
13:03so please hit the like button and
13:05subscribe to my channel so you don't
13:06miss out on my other dbt videos when
13:09and there's a link in the description
13:10and pinned comment to a playlist with
13:12all of my dbt videos
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