00:00 having a poor relationship with
00:01 masculinity was ruining my life as a man
00:04 and if you're watching this there's a
00:06 good chance that it's ruining yours too
00:08 or at least it's one of the biggest
00:10 contributing reasons why you probably
00:12 aren't where you want to be in life
00:14 right now right so personally rekindling
00:17 my relationship with masculinity has
00:19 actually taken me from being essentially
00:23 degenerate uh uni student partying
00:26 complete NPC um into Within the span of
00:30 a year being a multi6 figure business
00:32 owner and um essentially traveling now
00:35 wherever I want to at any point in time
00:36 I'm free right last month I was actually
00:39 just in Bali with a couple of guys um
00:42 just because you know we can and uh it's
00:44 really nice to be there with a bunch of
00:46 guys and I actually just got back today
00:48 from binton um I was there this week
00:51 another guys trip um you know over there
00:53 working having a good time right
00:57 so you really need to pay really close
01:00 attention to this video because there's
01:03 really no telling what fixing just this
01:06 one thing could do for you and for your
01:10 life right like you could be in Bali a a
01:14 year from now watching this video so if
01:16 you're not where you want to be in life
01:18 right now and you're a man and the word
01:20 masculinity doesn't really mean anything
01:22 to you at this point or maybe it means
01:24 something negative honestly at this
01:25 point in your head then it's going to be
01:27 really crucial that you pay attention to
01:29 this video okay so I'm just going to I'm
01:31 going to tell you a quick story actually
01:32 about this so part of what inspired this
01:35 video is I was looking through my camera
01:38 roll the other day on my phone right I
01:40 was on my iPhone I was looking through
01:41 my camera roll for something some
01:44 something from two years ago I can't
01:45 remember why but I was in there and I
01:46 was looking at my videos on my phone
01:48 from two years ago and I came across
01:51 this video of me um that was recorded
01:54 when I was I was working a sales job two
01:56 years ago right so I was like um I was
01:58 sort of there was a stint of a couple
01:59 couple of months where I was you know
02:00 trying uh sales I was like selling
02:02 Insurance things like that right so
02:04 there was a video that was recorded um
02:06 that was a professionally shot video so
02:08 I was like oh I remember this thing I
02:09 remember we went for this photo shoot so
02:11 I clicked on the video um and I heard my
02:15 voice from June of 2021 so I was 21
02:20 years old in this video okay I heard my
02:23 voice and I did I did not recognize
02:28 myself my voice was so much
02:32 higher I sounded different my my accent
02:35 was different well I was I was sort of
02:37 pandering to the Singapore In Crowd so
02:39 my accent was different but my voice was
02:41 so much higher and I was listening to
02:44 the video and I was looking at it and my
02:46 face genuinely my face was like
02:49 this I I was I was like
02:53 what it it shocked me right and then I
02:56 thought about it and I thought my
02:58 genuinely I think my testost drone level
03:00 was actually lower then and it was
03:02 probably significantly lower and then so
03:05 I thought back to okay well why why
03:07 might that be if that's the case why
03:09 would have that why would that have been
03:10 the case right so I looked at the way
03:12 that I was living my life back then two
03:14 years ago I thought back to it I thought
03:15 hm I was partying a lot I was just
03:17 drinking a lot I was hanging out with
03:22 time nothing really you know I mean I
03:25 was I was working a sales job and I was
03:27 working really hard um I was going to
03:31 inconsistently my diet was messy right
03:35 and overall my life was just it was very
03:39 different back then um and I was
03:44 a a lower testosterone life honestly
03:48 because I wasn't doing
03:49 anything Grand I wasn't I wasn't really
03:52 fulfilling my purpose plus I was
03:55 conforming to a lot of societal societal
03:58 conditioning pardon me where where
04:00 essentially I was just trying to fit in
04:02 right I was trying to fit in with the
04:04 people around me trying to be
04:06 liked trying not to be seen as
04:08 threatening right trying to be nice all
04:10 of these things so the reality of my
04:12 life back then was really one of me not
04:15 fulfilling my purpose right I was just
04:17 working really hard but working for
04:19 money right I was bathing in Hedonism
04:22 every week right I was living a very
04:24 hedonistic lifestyle I was constantly
04:26 chasing pleasure and instant
04:28 gratification and and lastly I had no
04:31 knowledge no understanding about
04:33 anything to do with masculinity or
04:35 femininity for that fact and I had no
04:38 masculine Role Models I had nothing
04:41 nothing to look up to nothing to
04:42 understand so who knows if my
04:44 testosterone was really lower back then
04:46 not like I can go back and measure it
04:48 but if I was a betting man I would say
04:50 that it was lower right because if I
04:52 just compare myself now to myself 2
04:57 years ago right 2021 I am
05:00 way way more masculine now than I was
05:02 back then right for a host of reasons
05:06 and so I illustrate I talk about this
05:09 entire story just to show that even in
05:12 such a short span of time between two
05:14 phases of adulthood right I was an adult
05:16 at 21 and I'm an adult now even then in
05:19 such a short period of time you can
05:22 change your relationship with
05:23 masculinity and even maybe even
05:26 physiologically experience changes right
05:28 in your physique and in your voice right
05:30 like I I'm right now I'm in the best
05:32 physical shape that I've ever been in in
05:34 my life and again my voice is deeper
05:37 than it was to years ago so these are
05:38 actual physiological changes right so
05:42 trivial like woo woo stuff that goes on
05:45 in your head like no like this can
05:47 actually be a real real physical changes
05:49 right and I'm I'm certainly not the only
05:51 example there are much more drastic
05:53 examples of changes that people have
05:55 seen in their lives right so first we're
05:58 going to talk about diagnosing the
06:00 problem why is this a problem why how
06:02 have we gotten here what does that look
06:04 like and then we're going to go into the
06:06 prescriptions which are you know
06:07 actually Solutions what can you do
06:09 actionable steps that you can take Okay
06:12 so let's look at the facts
06:14 first within the span of about 40 years
06:18 right since the 80s male testosterone
06:21 average male testosterone level has
06:23 actually decreased by about 1% every
06:26 single year across a groups okay there
06:31 hasn't been much difference in the data
06:32 across the different age groups in how
06:34 much it's been decreasing um there was a
06:36 study that showed between I think it was
06:40 2019 um there was an average decrease of
06:43 more than 10% in average testosterone
06:46 level between 2006 and 2019 and again
06:51 that was across all age groups there
06:52 wasn't much difference it averaged out
06:55 10% okay now anecdotal evidence right I
06:59 can can literally walk down the street
07:03 see men that almost you almost don't
07:08 know you have to take a second
07:10 look to to figure out oh yeah okay yeah
07:14 that's a man right and so physiological
07:19 I is is even taking a hit the same study
07:22 actually showed that grip strength like
07:25 grip strength of men on average has
07:30 aligned with the decrease in
07:31 testosterone right so that means that on
07:34 average you compared to let's say your
07:36 grandfather right your body is naturally
07:38 producing less significantly less
07:42 testosterone than your grandfather's was
07:45 at the same age and physically you are
07:49 not as strong as him you are physically
07:51 weaker on average than your grandfather
07:55 okay so these are real consequences
07:58 unfolding in society from again a whole
08:02 host of reasons it's a multivariant
08:04 problem right so if you're not aware
08:07 about you know about testosterone if
08:09 you're not aware of what testosterone
08:11 actually does for you as a man it is
08:13 obviously a natural hormone that your
08:15 body produces it has to do with your
08:17 mood regulation your memory function
08:20 your uh your sex drive your your um
08:24 sperm production right your bone
08:27 strength your muscle density your muscle
08:31 building all of these things so across
08:33 the board is an extremely important
08:37 hormone for men right and so this
08:40 decrease obviously is going to hinder
08:43 your life so those are the physiological
08:46 realities right of the of the actual you
08:48 know physical problems that you're
08:49 facing which I'm not going to get into
08:51 too much in this video because we could
08:52 talk about that forever right but the
08:53 more important thing is mentally right
08:57 what is your relationship with
08:58 masculinity and what has that been like
09:00 right I'm I'm willing to bet that you
09:03 were probably brought up in an
09:06 environment that was mostly women right
09:09 at least for me when I was in primary
09:10 school which was basically from seven to
09:13 being you know seven age 7 to age 12 90%
09:17 of my teachers in school right public
09:20 school that I was in were women right
09:23 and so the amount of masculine role
09:25 models that I had or let's just say male
09:28 role models that I had
09:30 really weren't many right and and at
09:33 every at every turn
09:35 where ill formed or beginnings of some
09:39 sort of masculine traits were emerging
09:42 in Behavior whether mine or or someone
09:44 else's around what always happens is
09:46 that that would always get shut down
09:47 that would always get punished right so
09:48 rough and tumble play of any sort was
09:52 you know told you were told it's
09:53 dangerous you got to be careful don't do
09:55 that you know you get punished right um
09:57 let's say you know teacher says
09:59 something and you talk back to the
10:01 teacher or you stand up for yourself
10:02 somehow you know verbally against the
10:05 teacher you get told off for that you
10:06 know you get punished right um you're
10:09 trying to do something your own way
10:11 right trying to solve a problem your own
10:12 way trying to forge your own path in
10:14 some way in school you again you
10:15 probably get shut down for that you
10:17 probably get punished right
10:19 so even something as simple as when
10:22 you're growing up especially around you
10:25 know in friend groups and things like
10:26 that especially when it's guys and girls
10:28 and everything and if you're not
10:31 particularly emotionally bothered by
10:33 something or you're being stoic about
10:35 something right you're often told that
10:38 you're often looked at and oh this
10:40 person's just acting cool right this
10:42 person's you know so you almost get
10:44 shunned for if you are ever stoic in any
10:47 kind of situation it's almost as if you
10:49 have to have some kind of emotional
10:51 commitment and emotional response to
10:53 whatever the situation is going on and
10:54 worst of all you were probably taught
10:57 that aggression in any sense of the word
11:00 and in any context under any
11:03 circumstances right is completely
11:05 unacceptable and wholesale just morally
11:09 bankrupt right any kind of aggression in
11:12 any sense of the word at any point in
11:14 time is wrong and it can never be good
11:19 right and you were never taught to
11:21 control your aggression or or you or the
11:26 concept of controlled aggression was
11:27 never introduced you we'll get into that
11:30 later okay and so so that's when you're
11:32 sort of young and you're still in your
11:33 formative years right and as you let's
11:35 say you're a teenager now and you're in
11:37 high school and maybe you start hearing
11:38 terms being thrown around like toxic
11:40 masculinity and you don't really know
11:41 what that means but you do know that
11:43 when people use it it's basically a a
11:46 male person says something that people
11:49 don't like a guy says something that is
11:51 that offends someone let's say it
11:53 offends a girl right guy says something
11:55 girl doesn't like girl says toxic
11:57 masculinity right or another one
11:59 mansplaining right guy explains
12:02 something to girl guy is mansplaining
12:05 right so so you hear all these things
12:07 getting thrown and run you're like well
12:09 well you know I want to be liked I I
12:11 don't want to mansplain right so maybe
12:13 maybe you kind of stop talking so much
12:16 to girls because you're afraid you know
12:18 you're afraid if you explain something
12:19 you're going to be mansplaining right
12:20 now again this is these are all little
12:23 you know small things that just seep
12:25 into your your subconscious right and
12:27 that you don't really notice but they to
12:29 form associations with masculinity you
12:31 start to look at masculinity and you
12:32 have all of these associations that come
12:33 in right so now the The crucial thing
12:36 we're going to talk about now is
12:37 actually defining like what what is
12:40 masculinity and what makes a
12:43 man right when you ask yourself those
12:45 questions there are going to be some
12:47 words that start to be promoted into
12:49 your Consciousness right some words
12:51 start to come up maybe aggressive maybe
12:55 toxic comes up when you think of
12:57 masculinity right maybe when you think
12:59 of what it means to be a man you think
13:00 big strong right you think um Macho
13:05 maybe right if you think of the word
13:06 masculinity you might think of Macho you
13:08 might think emotionally inept you might
13:11 think that right so these are all
13:15 associations that your brain has formed
13:17 with let's say masculinity or what it
13:23 right if you have if you don't have that
13:27 many associations you're not it's not
13:28 really clear to you maybe or if those
13:30 associations are you know just brutally
13:34 negative right then it's no wonder that
13:38 you're finding it difficult to be a man
13:40 because here's the thing if you're
13:41 having a hard time even defining stuff
13:43 like that for yourself or the
13:45 definitions are completely negative to
13:46 you and you're a man then how are you
13:49 going to move forward right because the
13:51 reality and and why this is the case for
13:53 you is that you haven't been trained in
13:59 right as a matter of fact you've
14:00 probably been trained out of it in some
14:03 ways in your childhood and in your in
14:06 your teenage years even right and in
14:07 your adulthood right you're in small
14:10 ways you're subconsciously actually
14:11 getting trained out of it as well okay
14:14 so but still so you land yourself in
14:17 this weird spot because you are a man
14:20 but you are you you don't have really
14:22 any training in being a man right if you
14:25 had a good father that's a great start
14:28 right unfortunately even just in the
14:32 25% I think it's like 25 or 23% it's
14:36 like one in four families are single
14:38 mother households something something
14:40 absurd all right so you know father
14:43 figures are literally missing from the
14:45 homes right but so if you have had no
14:48 training in being a man at all you still
14:51 can't be a woman that's the crazy part
14:53 is that you're still a man so now you're
14:55 in this weird limbo where we don't
14:58 really know how to to be a man but you
14:59 also can't be a woman right you you you
15:01 can never give the feminine gifts to the
15:06 world that a woman could give
15:09 biologically like a biological woman and
15:12 even a woman with a naturally feminine
15:14 spiritual core and you have a masculine
15:16 spiritual core there is no way you can
15:17 give those feminine gifts to the world
15:19 and so you're in this limbo where you
15:20 you don't know how to be a good man and
15:21 you also can't be a woman and so you end
15:26 ineffective nice p push over undirected
15:33 perturbed uneasy the list goes on so how
15:36 is this lack of masculinity or even the
15:39 lack of a positive relationship with
15:41 masculinity how is that contributing to
15:43 making you feel stuck right well maybe
15:45 you can't do the work right you can't
15:47 commit to any kind of real work for any
15:50 substantial length of time right maybe
15:52 you get bursts of motivation spurts of
15:55 it and then after that it dies out and
15:57 you just you're going nowhere right you
16:00 just go back into the void when the
16:01 motivation disappears right you have no
16:04 discipline um maybe you're actually in a
16:06 job or in a vocation that you're working
16:07 hard in but actually you you really
16:09 don't give you don't care about it
16:12 whatsoever you're not making any kind of
16:13 impact that you want to make and maybe
16:15 you actually hate it right but you don't
16:17 have the guts to leave okay maybe you
16:20 can't commit to a woman either you're
16:22 having difficulty committing to a woman
16:24 properly and and and being monogamous
16:26 right maybe you can't attract a feminine
16:29 woman that you would actually want to
16:30 commit to right maybe you are maybe you
16:34 are in a relationship you do have a
16:35 partner right but that partner doesn't
16:38 respect you right or that partner
16:40 doesn't treat you the way that you
16:41 actually want to be treated right these
16:44 are all examples of you know being stuck
16:46 in a way that you you wouldn't want to
16:47 be stuck right and you may relate to one
16:50 or more of these right one or more of
16:53 these could apply to your life and I
16:55 would say that that the the commonality
16:57 and the pattern across all these
16:58 problems is that it it one of the
17:01 biggest contributing factors to those
17:03 problems is the fact that you don't have
17:04 a good relationship with masculinity
17:06 right so that's the diagnosis right
17:07 we've we've got a lay of the land we've
17:09 laid everything out on the table we can
17:12 see how this how you might have gotten
17:14 here why you're stuck how you're stuck
17:17 how masculinity is contributing to you
17:18 being stuck okay so now we're going to
17:20 talk prescriptions okay meaning new
17:23 associations you can form with
17:24 masculinity let's actually Define it
17:26 right let's actually Define what it
17:27 means to be a man and and the actual
17:29 good associations with that so I I've
17:30 actually listed out my associations when
17:33 I think of the question what does it
17:34 mean to be a man okay so I'm going to
17:36 list those associations out for you now
17:39 okay what does it mean to be a man a
17:41 masculine man is principled calm
17:45 centered Guided by truth
17:49 purposeful immovable
17:55 directed controlled aggression
18:00 protective a provider okay depth of
18:06 unshakable grounded okay so these are
18:09 some of the associations that I listed
18:10 with being a man right what does it mean
18:13 to be a man what does it mean to be a
18:14 masculine man okay so go back and listen
18:16 to those if you can okay because it's
18:18 going to be important so those are mine
18:21 okay so I want to give another example
18:23 tell a quick story so just a couple of
18:25 days ago had a friend who asked me he
18:28 we were walking and he said Chris you
18:31 know I'm I feel like you're more of a
18:35 masculine man than me and um I feel like
18:39 more I don't really know what what it
18:41 means to be masculine I think of myself
18:42 as a more docile and calm person I'm not
18:46 I don't think of myself as very
18:47 aggressive and so I think that in that
18:49 sense you're more masculine than me but
18:52 I don't know how I can form a better
18:55 opinion of masculinity because as it
18:57 stands I don't feel like I want to be
18:59 more masculine something to that effect
19:01 right and and I I said I remember saying
19:05 it does it's not unmasculine to be
19:08 calm you know why do you think that
19:13 aggressive just being aggressive in
19:15 itself is is about masculinity because
19:19 you can be extremely aggressive and not
19:21 be a man at all you could be extremely
19:23 aggressive and be an overgrown child
19:24 right so I give an example of let's say
19:27 A Street fight right so let's say that a
19:30 street fight breaks out and you know
19:32 you're fighting some guy and you
19:33 actually land a clean shot guy goes down
19:37 if you don't have controlled
19:38 aggression the guy's already gone down
19:41 and then you you still keep punching and
19:43 you're wailing on this guy and you're
19:45 shouting and you're still punching the
19:48 guy's already gone you're still punching
19:49 you spit on the guy afterwards and all
19:51 this whole shebang right that is
19:55 completely uncontrolled aggression right
19:57 what separates you as a man from an
19:59 animal is being able to control that
20:02 aggression right being able to use
20:04 minimal necessary force in any kind of
20:06 situation to protect yourself protect
20:08 your loved ones to get out of that
20:09 situation right so controlled aggression
20:13 would be let's say land a clean shot guy
20:15 goes down you see that he's down and you
20:17 stop and you're like no he's done all
20:20 right no showboating no yelling no
20:23 spitting on somebody no extra shots and
20:27 and this kind of stuff right that that's
20:29 what separates you as a man from a
20:32 complete animal right is your ability to
20:34 control that aggression right so it's
20:36 not the aggression that makes the man it
20:39 is control right I would I would also
20:44 calm being calm is is defin it's one of
20:48 my associations that I wrote down there
20:50 right in terms of being a masculine man
20:53 but here's where there's a difference in
20:56 what my friend was saying right he said
20:57 he thought of himself self is calm and
20:59 and and sort of what what he really
21:03 right harmless is really is really what
21:06 he meant right because there's a
21:08 difference between being calm because
21:11 you're choosing to be calm right now and
21:14 or only being calm because nothing is
21:16 threatening you in this
21:19 moment okay there's a difference between
21:21 the man that is calm when he's sitting
21:24 on the couch and he's calm when there's
21:26 a gun pointed at him versus is the man
21:28 who's calm on the couch and then when
21:30 the guns pointed at him he starts
21:32 panicking okay one of those is a choice
21:35 right and the other one is the this man
21:37 is just being blown around by his
21:38 emotions okay so the fact is we live in
21:41 a in such a modern safe place from for
21:44 most of you I hope where you're not
21:45 having a gun pointed in your face every
21:47 single day but the reality is that if
21:49 that's the kind of life that you're
21:50 living you're not ever being tested and
21:53 and you don't you can't really see how
21:55 you'll react in these situations you
21:56 might just be thinking that you're a
21:58 calm person because you're never under
22:00 any kind of duress or any kind of threat
22:03 right but then when you put yourself
22:05 under stress right I I know some people
22:07 I know some men that are really just
22:10 overgrown children but you can within a
22:15 questions you can rile this person up so
22:19 much just by asking them a couple of
22:21 questions and natural questions about
22:22 their life what are you you know what
22:25 are you doing right now how how are
22:26 things going whatever you know how's
22:28 how's work or whatever you can just
22:31 emotional explosion right
22:34 so it's the control right is the
22:37 emotional control and I would even say
22:39 what distinguishes you from a man versus
22:41 being a woman right so we can even talk
22:43 about this so let's go to not let's say
22:46 not a street fight but let's say a
22:47 confrontation in public
22:50 okay if there's a confrontation in
22:55 public if you lose your emotional
22:57 control control in that moment right as
23:00 a man let's say someone's confronting
23:02 you in public if you lose your emotional
23:05 control you're now putting everyone
23:07 around you actually in physical danger
23:09 versus if you are a woman and generally
23:11 speaking if you are
23:13 having an emotional moment in public
23:17 right no one around really feels like
23:20 they're in any kind of genuine danger
23:22 any kind of physical danger right if a
23:25 woman let's say is throwing an emotional
23:27 fit at her man in public people still
23:30 kind of walk by and they kind of look
23:32 and you know they don't really feel like
23:33 there's a it's a very dangerous
23:35 situation now reverse the situation you
23:37 have a man losing his temper completely
23:39 getting emotionally all over the place
23:41 in public with another person maybe it's
23:43 his woman right that is actually a
23:45 situation of actual danger right now
23:47 people around actually feel like they're
23:48 in danger okay so the emotional
23:53 control right in that situation is also
23:56 partly what what what makes you a
23:59 masculine man right a woman other than
24:03 other than the fact that it's societally
24:05 you know frowned upon to have an whole
24:07 episode in public but the reality is
24:08 that she can actually have an emotional
24:10 episode in public and have it not really
24:13 be of huge consequence to herself to
24:16 anyone around her like she can actually
24:18 do that and it's not too much of an
24:21 issue it's not putting a whole bunch of
24:22 people in danger but you can't do that
24:24 as a man okay you you actually have to
24:27 be in control control of your emotions
24:28 crazy right okay now last example what
24:31 does it mean to be principled right as a
24:32 masculine man when I say that principled
24:34 right what does it mean so quick quick
24:37 story I was at a Halloween party
24:39 actually this year I wasn't intending to
24:42 go but I had a couple of friends that
24:44 really did want to go and I said to
24:45 myself okay look I'm going to go for
24:48 this party um but I'm actually going to
24:50 do a thousand push-ups while I'm there
24:53 to allow myself to even be at that party
24:56 I have to achieve something so I was
24:57 like like all right at that party
24:58 throughout the course of the time I'm
24:59 going to do 1 th000 push-ups I actually
25:01 had a guy friend that joined me to do
25:03 these thousand push-ups so anyway I said
25:05 I'm I'm going to go and I'm I'm going to
25:06 do these thousand push-ups and I'm not
25:08 going to drink at all at this party now
25:11 mind you everybody is drinking at this
25:12 party so I go there and sure enough over
25:17 the course of about 5 hours I complete
25:19 these thousand push-ups not a single
25:21 drop of alcohol I did bring some coffee
25:23 actually for myself to drink this coffee
25:25 to get a bit of caffeine but the the
25:27 amount of times that I was offered
25:29 alcohol at this party was I I can't even
25:31 count dozens okay lots of times you know
25:35 girls coming up to me with bottles of
25:38 vodka trying to pour it into my mouth
25:41 right and me just saying no I'm really
25:44 not drinking tonight I'm really not
25:45 drinking and I stuck by that the entire
25:47 night right and it came to a point where
25:49 people you know obviously stopped
25:50 offering me drinks because they realized
25:53 that it was it wasn't going to work
25:56 right that the stuff that would work
26:00 on even you know a guy that goes and
26:02 says that he's not going to drink but
26:04 then after the third or fourth girl that
26:07 tries to make him drink he'll eventually
26:09 drink right but people would eventually
26:13 realize that no Chris isn't going to
26:16 drink like he said he's not going to and
26:18 that means he's actually not going to
26:21 and I didn't right and also I said that
26:23 I was going to do a th push-ups it
26:25 sounded ridiculous it sounded silly but
26:28 i' actually completed them by the end of
26:30 the the party right so that's just an
26:33 example of what it means to be
26:35 principled right and people understand
26:38 that and they respect that right and
26:40 although they might act and behave and
26:44 things um otherwise and and you know to
26:47 the contrary but they will see and they
26:50 will actually value that that ability of
26:54 yours to be principled okay so we've
26:56 been through controlled aggression right
26:59 which is the example of the street fight
27:01 what separates you from being a just a
27:04 complete animal and and just wailing on
27:06 tearing another person's shreds is your
27:08 ability to control your aggression right
27:10 your use of your logos right your
27:14 judgment your rationality right and your
27:17 your ability to be stoic and to control
27:20 that aggression and to use minimal
27:22 necessary Force okay then we also talked
27:25 about emotional control even just in
27:27 confrontational situations right
27:29 emotional control true Mastery over your
27:34 emotions and not not even just Mastery
27:37 but controlling them in a way that they
27:40 they don't dictate your actions most of
27:42 the time that's actually kind of what
27:43 separates you from actually being like a
27:46 woman right or being more feminine right
27:47 being more emotionally directed right so
27:50 that's what separates you there we also
27:53 talked about being calm right which is
27:58 calm is a virtue when you when when it's
28:01 actually a test right when there's a
28:04 test of a situation where you're put
28:07 under pressure right and most people
28:09 wouldn't be calm in this situation but
28:11 you are able to stay calm right there's
28:12 a difference between that and just being
28:14 calm because you're not being tested at
28:15 all because you're not being threatened
28:17 at all you're not under any kind of
28:18 stress right so most people are going to
28:21 be in that camp right you have to be in
28:23 the camp where you can be calm when
28:25 everybody else is calm but when
28:26 everybody else is panicking you are
28:29 calm that is real virtue right because
28:32 there's actually a test and you bring
28:34 your virtue to the table and they can
28:37 actually cancel out right virtue can't
28:40 exist completely in a vacuum right there
28:42 has to be something that brings it out
28:45 so we talked about that as well being
28:47 calm okay so from this point okay how
28:50 can you form a healthier relationship
28:52 with masculinity because you might be
28:53 sitting here and think okay this is all
28:55 new stuff or this is all great but
28:58 actionables what actionables can I have
29:01 okay so it's going to come down to two
29:02 things okay there are cases in which you
29:05 require more information and you're
29:07 going to have to decide this okay you're
29:09 going to have to determine this it's
29:10 either you require more information or
29:13 maybe you require a change in attitude
29:15 or maybe both of those things okay so in
29:17 terms of requiring more information
29:20 obviously what you can do is you can
29:21 read books uh right now obviously
29:24 there's lots of podcasts and things out
29:26 there find good ones right find good men
29:30 that embody some of the traits some of
29:31 the associations that are listed out
29:34 look at how these men are living their
29:36 lives look at how they think about
29:38 certain things how they behave in
29:39 business in relationships take in
29:42 information right so read books some of
29:44 the books that you can read the way of
29:46 the superior man by David
29:48 daa really really really good book I I
29:51 cannot overstate this I've read it three
29:54 times um by now or rather I'm on my
29:56 third read through of the book right now
29:58 or maybe fourth I think I've read it
30:00 three times already right so I'm still
30:02 and I'm still going back to it because
30:03 there's really a lot in there okay Hard
30:05 Times create strong men that's another
30:07 good book KH hurt me David Goggins never
30:11 finished as well David Goggins and a
30:14 personal favorite of mine is meditations
30:16 by Marcus Aurelius okay so these are
30:18 some books that you can read highly
30:20 highly recommend those okay and again
30:22 yeah if you are more of a visual if you
30:25 just don't like reading books like most
30:27 genz people then find some good video
30:32 content if that's your preferred uh way
30:34 to digest information okay find some
30:36 good podcasts find some good people to
30:38 look up to okay now if you
30:42 require on top of requiring more
30:44 information you might also just require
30:46 a change in Attitude okay so that means
30:50 unlearning your current biases towards
30:54 what it is to be a man what it is to be
30:57 right notice those biases those negative
31:00 ones that you might have and don't give
31:02 power to them right just just stop stop
31:07 giving power to them stop going down
31:08 those same routes that your brain has
31:10 always gone down just notice them be
31:11 like okay but I'm done with that
31:15 right so take the opportunities to
31:18 practice masculine virtues whenever you
31:21 can right like stoicism like discipline
31:24 controlled aggression like take these
31:27 immediately seese opportunities to
31:30 actually practice these masculine
31:32 virtues okay I'll give you an example
31:34 when someone when a family member blows
31:36 up at you over nothing okay that is not
31:40 just an annoyance right that is actually
31:42 a situation that is an opportunity for
31:45 you to practice virtue for you to put
31:48 into practice a virtue like stoicism a
31:52 virtue like emotional control okay so
31:56 look out in your life and look for these
31:58 opportunities to actually practice these
32:00 virtues and do them and see what happens
32:03 see what happens as a consequence of you
32:05 actually manifesting these things in
32:07 reality right you might notice that
32:09 people treat you a little bit
32:10 differently you might notice that you
32:12 know maybe a girl is is interested in
32:14 you now and maybe that wasn't the case
32:16 before um maybe you you get a bit more
32:18 respect from some of your friends right
32:20 just notice what happens right put these
32:22 things into practice begin to seek and
32:27 and identify masculine virtues in other
32:31 people right like I said look at look at
32:34 things online right like look whatever
32:36 you're doing spending your time online
32:38 look at people look at men and see hm
32:41 okay actually this guy has that virtue
32:43 right like he's really calm in this
32:44 stressful situation or you can look at
32:46 this other guy and go he's really
32:48 disciplined right or look at this guy
32:49 and go he's really Purpose Driven right
32:52 oh this guy's really certain about what
32:54 he's doing he's so C start to identify
32:56 the these masculine virtues right and
32:59 people pay attention to those people and
33:03 compartmentalize those things and look
33:06 at them okay this person is a role model
33:07 for being calm in stressful situations
33:10 okay this person is a role model for
33:11 being disciplined etc etc do that right
33:16 can look at those people and continue to
33:19 pay attention to only those men that
33:23 clearly embody the virtues that you wish
33:26 to have and that you want to possess
33:28 okay so that is the change in attitude
33:32 that you need to have so again you might
33:35 need you might require a change or a
33:39 more information okay and that's where
33:41 you're going to go to the books you're
33:42 going to go to try and find you know
33:44 podcast Role Models things like that
33:45 okay and then change in attitude right
33:48 is everything that I've just talked
33:50 about okay so those are some actionables
33:52 that you can take here to have a better
33:55 to start forming a better better and
33:57 healthier relationship with masculinity
33:59 and you'll notice changes happen pretty
34:01 quickly right again like how people
34:03 treat you is going to be slightly
34:04 different right you're not going to get
34:06 things right all of the time right but
34:09 you'll notice changes happen pretty
34:11 quickly and even just changes in how you
34:13 feel and how you perceive yourself okay
34:15 so the last thing that I'm going to
34:16 leave you with the last virtue that I
34:18 want to leave you with is if you want to
34:20 unstick yourself as a man from your
34:23 situation in life right now however
34:25 undesirable that is you have to start by
34:28 taking complete accountability for where
34:32 you are it is it might not be your fault
34:37 in the entire sense of the word that you
34:39 are where you are now but it is your
34:42 problem okay it's going to be partly
34:44 your fault but it might not be fully
34:46 your fault that you are where you are
34:47 now right but it is still your problem
34:50 okay so you have to take full
34:52 accountability for that in order to
34:54 unstick yourself okay now if you're a
34:57 this is not certainly the case because
35:00 you could be in a in a horrible
35:01 situation and you might you might still
35:04 meet a man that actually wants to
35:05 unstick you from that and actually wants
35:07 to look after you financially and take
35:08 care of you physically and all these
35:10 things but if you're a man that option
35:12 is not on the table at all okay there is
35:14 no option if you're stuck as a man there
35:17 is no one that's going to come and
35:18 unstick you okay it has to be you okay
35:23 so that means that you have to have to
35:25 you have no choice you have to take full
35:27 self accountability for where you are in
35:30 life wherever you are you choose you are
35:35 there okay right now you are choosing to
35:37 be there wherever you are however
35:39 unhappy you are with your current
35:40 circumstances know that that is the life
35:42 that you chose okay and you can choose
35:45 to live a different life okay and you
35:47 have to start by being completely
35:50 holding yourself accountable to that
35:52 knowing that okay it might not be fully
35:54 my fault but I can say that it's
35:56 probably most mostly my fault right and
35:59 IR like irrespective of whose fault it
36:03 is I'm going to stop pointing fingers
36:05 outwards and I'm going to point here
36:07 right I'm going to say it is my problem
36:09 I have to solve this there's no one
36:10 that's going to come along and solve it
36:12 for me okay so I'm going to leave it
36:16 there today I think I've talked a lot
36:18 about this but um I really hope you
36:20 enjoyed this if you did be sure to you
36:23 know subscribe like all that good stuff
36:25 leave a comment and let me know know if
36:27 this was actually a valuable video to
36:30 you or you can send me a DM on Instagram
36:33 my Instagram is actually in the
36:34 description so other than that um I hope
36:38 that you are having a great time having
36:41 a great Christmas it's actually
36:42 Christmas in like two days I think
36:45 so yeah enjoy it and I will see you in
36:49 the next video cheers
