Brutally Honest Advice for Broke People
Alex Hormozi2024-04-03
Alex Hormozi#Alex Hormozi Business Tips#Alex Hormozi Gym Launch Secrets#Hormozi#Business guides#Business tips#Skillsets#Skill Stacking#The Game Podcast#mozination
39K views|3 months ago
💫 Short Summary
The video features a speaker sharing their journey from poverty to success, emphasizing the importance of taking responsibility, perseverance, and learning from failures. They discuss the significance of self-improvement, pushing through challenges, and the value of skill-building for financial growth. The speaker also reflects on personal experiences of overcoming anger, blame, and victim framing to achieve success. Surrounding oneself with supportive friends, prioritizing relationships that align with goals, and staying focused on personal growth are key themes throughout the video, highlighting the importance of determination and strategic decision-making in achieving desired outcomes.
✨ Highlights
📊 Transcript
✦
Personal journey of overcoming poverty and struggles in entrepreneurship.
02:10Emphasizes taking responsibility for circumstances and utilizing available resources for change.
Focus on self-discovery and self-improvement, moving away from traditional self-help methods.
Importance of learning from failures and adapting strategies for success.
Encouragement to consider alternative paths if current methods are not working.
✦
Importance of perseverance and endurance in overcoming obstacles.
04:36Pushing through difficult times for long-term success and personal development.
Living multiple days at once to maximize productivity and reach future goals.
Enduring the 'glass period' of life's challenges.
Benefits of stepping out of one's comfort zone for growth.
✦
Importance of perseverance and dedication in achieving goals.
06:58Speaker shares personal sacrifices made in pursuit of success.
Acknowledgment that the path to success may not be easy for everyone.
Discussion of historical examples of extreme dedication and control.
Mindset of pushing past self-pity and blame to focus on relentless effort.
✦
Importance of Mastering Basic Skills for Financial Success
10:41Learning marketing and selling techniques is crucial for financial success.
Procrastination and delaying gratification can lead to negative consequences.
Delaying pain for immediate pleasure results in facing consequences later on.
Taking action today instead of constantly pushing tasks to tomorrow is key to achieving success.
✦
Importance of personal accountability in achieving success.
15:30Taking ownership of actions and circumstances is essential for breaking out of poverty and reaching goals.
Blaming external factors gives away power over one's life.
Success is built on self-awareness, determination, and letting go of excuses.
Acknowledging faults and taking control paves the way for financial success and personal fulfillment.
✦
The speaker reflects on his past anger and blame towards his mother, leading to a shift in their relationship dynamics.
19:48Writing an essay on depression from her perspective helps him gain empathy and understanding.
The speaker acknowledges the impact of his mother's upbringing and experiences on her life.
This experience teaches him the importance of taking responsibility for his actions in relationships.
Letting go of blame is highlighted as a crucial aspect of improving relationships.
✦
The speaker explains victim framing and how it leads to giving away power and being right in relationships and decisions.
22:21Seeking approval and validation from others can hinder long-term opportunities and growth.
Bringing partners home for approval is used as an example of prioritizing being 'right' in the short term over lasting connections.
Taking responsibility and avoiding a victim mindset are crucial to avoiding self-sabotage and achieving long-term success.
✦
Importance of investing and taking risks for financial growth.
24:10Emphasizes trade-off between short-term losses and long-term gains.
Personal experiences shared about reinvesting income to increase earnings over time.
Focus on increasing income rather than solely saving.
Necessity of learning new skills and adapting to changing technologies for financial success.
✦
Importance of investing in education and skills for long-term success.
27:50Failure should be viewed as an opportunity for growth and gaining experience points.
Continuously learning and acquiring new skills is key to progressing to the next level of success.
Wealthy individuals prioritize skill-building over immediate financial gains.
Leveraging skills to generate income and delegating tasks to others is crucial for career growth and success.
✦
Importance of Selling Skills and Products for Making Money.
29:45Emphasis on finding valuable items to trade, either through selling existing products or creating new ones.
Personal experiences shared by the speaker about making money through selling services like nutrition consultations.
Highlighting the benefits of affiliate programs in increasing earnings.
Encouragement to focus on selling skills and outcomes to improve income and expertise.
✦
Speaker's journey from helping someone lose weight to owning six gyms and running a successful licensing business.
34:53Importance of focusing on getting good at something and sharing knowledge with others seeking help.
Emphasis on taking steps forward without knowing the entire path beforehand.
Opportunities reveal themselves along the way.
✦
Importance of Making the First Dollar Online
36:35Starting from where you are emotionally is crucial in achieving financial success.
Overcoming feelings of unworthiness and identifying with the villain archetype can lead to personal growth.
Mentality of 'gaming the system' can help achieve positive outcomes despite internal struggles.
✦
Importance of staying focused and ruthless in pursuing goals.
39:51Emphasizing the need to eliminate distractions and negative influences.
Highlighting the concept of future pacing to motivate change in the present.
Impact of surrounding oneself with supportive friends for success.
Advocating for personal ambition and drive to overcome obstacles.
✦
Importance of supportive friends in achieving personal growth and success.
43:12Shedding friendships with negative influences can lead to greater personal development.
Prioritizing relationships that contribute positively to life is beneficial.
Focusing on second and third-order outcomes of interactions with others for informed decision-making.
Surrounding oneself with friends who align with goals and ambitions is crucial for goal achievement.
✦
Keys to Success in Life.
46:25Taking ownership of circumstances and using anger or pain as motivation can drive action and lead to success.
Ignoring negative influences and focusing on personal growth and self-approval are essential for achieving success.
Continuously taking steps towards goals, despite challenges, is crucial in eventually reaching success.
00:00this is brutally honest advice for poor
00:01people I've been there I had toing pay
00:03rent every night I would think if I
00:05didn't wake up tomorrow I would be okay
00:06with it and I don't want that for
00:08anybody I get
00:13it I was just going through all these
00:15old files yesterday and I saw a goal
00:17that I had written which was to make
00:19$10,000 a month income and so it was 13
00:23years ago and so like I viscerally
00:27remember what that was like um and I
00:30know I never I was in so much pain
00:32during that during that time that I get
00:35it and so like the reason we make this
00:37stuff is cuz I I've been there and I
00:40don't want that for anybody you know
00:41like I missed I missed my 20s like I
00:45just I didn't have them as people
00:47traditionally say it you know like it's
00:50it's weird because in today's like
00:52internet culture like I started my I
00:54started my first brick and mortar
00:56business like store Front I was 23 like
00:59I I know about like I knew
01:02nothing and like I didn't know you could
01:04hire employees like it wasn't a thought
01:07like I didn't know
01:09anything um and so
01:11like I cleaned I did the billing I did
01:15the sales I taught the sessions like I
01:17fixed the equipment like I did
01:19everything because I didn't know you
01:20could and I also I I didn't know and I
01:22didn't have the money frankly to afford
01:24anything else and so um I get it like
01:29like I get I get I get it
01:34um but to get out of that you have to
01:37take steps and the first step is saying
01:40that it's my fault the second step is
01:43that you have to use what you
01:45have and so in the beginning I would I
01:49would you know I I was reading the self-
01:50health books and all this stuff and um
01:54none of them really hit for me because a
01:56lot of it was like power of positive
01:58thinking and like affirmations and like
02:01all this stuff and the reason I make the
02:02content I do now which has now almost
02:03become like a shtick um countering that
02:07is be is because it didn't work for me
02:09and I'm trying like I'm not trying to
02:10speak to everybody if you if that works
02:12for you then like awesome like awesome
02:16like I people mistake me saying this is
02:18what worked for me with this is what I
02:20think everyone should do and it it
02:22couldn't be further from the truth I'm
02:23saying if what H what you have been
02:24doing hasn't been working then consider
02:27this which is that like I remember
02:29because I just read this yesterday the
02:31intro in the book I say um I wish I
02:35could tell you that the reason I was
02:37able to make it out of the
02:39gym was because I was like really
02:41passionate about changing people's lives
02:43and I loved Fitness and I loved you know
02:45my clients faces when they would light
02:46up and they'd step on the scale and
02:47they'd lose weight they'd be able to fit
02:49in their high school clothes again it
02:50was none of that it was just the sheer
02:53anger that I had but the idea of being
02:55wrong and having the People Back
02:58Home be right about everything and I
03:02just couldn't I couldn't I mean I still
03:04can barely tolerate it and so I mean I
03:07took in some ways and this isn't a uh I
03:11don't if woe is me is the right is the
03:13right term but like I had an otherwise
03:15very successful career like I was in a
03:18white collar job and sometimes it's hard
03:20like I mean hey I don't know I haven't
03:23been in the other situation but taking a
03:25step down and humbling yourself to
03:27minimum wage after you've been in a
03:28white collar situation not easy and I
03:31remember I had clients who walk in and
03:32be like oh did you did you uh did you go
03:35to college and they were saying that um
03:38patronizingly um and mind you everyone
03:41here at least this channel knows that I
03:42don't I don't give a um but they
03:45were saying it to basically like when I
03:47was going to like write something down
03:48like am I
03:50literate and in those moments again it
03:53was like I could be right or be rich
03:55like I could try and humiliate them back
03:56because of the pain of what they just
03:57said made me feel they probably didn't
03:59even
04:00that or I can be like yeah yeah I went
04:03to I went to school I'm very grateful
04:05for it you know like so what are your
04:06goals I could just move right past it
04:08and so you develop that skin because I
04:10had to because I had to pay rent
04:13and so I mean I tell stories about
04:15having a kid drawing marker on the wall
04:17while I'm trying to close his mom and
04:19he's writing in permanent marker and I'm
04:21trying not to lose my over the fact
04:22that I'm have to repaint the wall
04:24because she doesn't know how to parent a
04:25child but I needed to close the card to
04:27pay for the paint and so it's like I can
04:30scold the kid and lose the sail or I can
04:32close the sail and keep my cool and then
04:34eventually clean the clean the wall and
04:36so like you only get that stuff by doing
04:38it um and so if you're in if you're in a
04:43place right now where you don't have a
04:45lot you only have one thing which is
04:48time and so you have lower leverage I'm
04:51not going to lie to you and say that you
04:52like you're there there's this one play
04:54this one secret no it's just it's sheer
04:57Brute Force like you have to Will
04:59yourself out of it like there's you have
05:02to do it's it's like a it's a it's a
05:04huge amount of of Soul driving energy
05:08that you have to do outside of what you
05:10normally do so it's like you have to
05:12live one person's normal life you have
05:13to do your normal work your normal job
05:15you have to eat you have to sleep you
05:16have to clean you have to do whatever
05:17else and then then the workday starts so
05:22that is how you eat today but you're
05:24trying to get ahead and you have to eat
05:25tomorrow and so you have to you have to
05:27you have to eat the glass so that you
05:30can take the pain today and you're
05:31trying to take as much of the pain from
05:33tomorrow as you can today so you can get
05:36ahead and like even the concept of
05:39getting head I like I think about this
05:41visually which is like if you have this
05:43this timeline of life that you can pull
05:45towards you and it's glass in the
05:48beginning and then it's slightly less
05:50less coarse and then less coarse and
05:51then it gets and then it gets neutral
05:53and then it starts to get a little bit
05:54sweeter and a little bit sweeter and a
05:55little bit sweeter but you have to get
05:56through that glass period where you pull
05:58towards you and I do have this theory
06:00that like on a long enough time R and if
06:02we could live A Thousand Years everyone
06:04would eventually be successful but
06:06people wait too long and they die too
06:08early and I say die too early on a long
06:10on a long timeline and so I want I have
06:14to live today and tomorrow and the next
06:16day so I can live three days at a time
06:18so I can get to my second and third
06:20life's benefits now and so that was what
06:24like I remember the only times that I
06:26took off when I was when I was at the
06:27gym and one of the biggest things that I
06:30was grateful for with the gyms is that I
06:32moved across the country and so I knew
06:34no one I was at Huntington Beach I was
06:35from Baltimore like no one and what
06:38would happen so one of the gifts of that
06:39was that once the week was over my
06:42Saturday sessions were done at like noon
06:44my phone didn't ring no like in some
06:47ways very sad because like no one wanted
06:50to see Alex you know what I mean like no
06:51one was inviting me out but I was like
06:54 like I got to make this work and so
06:58I would just I'd sit there and be like
06:59how do I sell memberships how do I
07:01Market how do I everything you know but
07:04I but that was how I got ahead and so I
07:07I tell the stories of like I remember
07:09when I when I stopped watching the
07:10Ravens and I was from Baltimore so that
07:13was
07:13like like a tie to
07:20home and so um yeah it's fresh for me
07:23because I just read the story yesterday
07:24but it was like it was
07:28tough
07:36I'll catch my breath so all that to
07:39say the sacrifices that I encourage
07:42people to take are not sacrifices I did
07:44not
07:45make and I I don't say that there
07:48there's there's no ways to to get there
07:51I'm just saying that this is the way I
07:53got
07:54there and if this path works for you
07:58then maybe it works better than what
07:59you're doing right now which is I had a
08:01lot of
08:02pain and so I I tried to use it I just
08:07use what I had I just you know I was
08:09just angry I didn't I didn't want to
08:10fail and so I just kept going and so
08:15there was no like there just wasn't
08:18another option and so I think that's
08:21like that's what I would encourage
08:23people to think about was like they're
08:25just there I just didn't I didn't allow
08:28another option
08:30because the other option was just was
08:32just worse than dying
08:35because I mean I've told this story
08:37before and things get hyperbolized I
08:39mean you know exaggerated romanticized
08:41whatever but like when I had my big
08:42consulting job I was making good money
08:46and I had the approval of my my peers
08:49and all this stuff and I just didn't
08:51want to wake up the next day every day
08:53and it wasn't like I was trying to kill
08:54myself it wasn't that but I was I every
08:56night I would think if I didn't wake up
08:57tomorrow I would be okay with it and
09:01so when I knew that that was what I was
09:03going back to if I didn't make this
09:07work I just had I had no plan B I mean I
09:10had Plan B is that I would drive Uber
09:12and strip I joke about that but that was
09:14very much my plan B if I didn't make it
09:15work um
09:19but and I I I get I get grilled on
09:22social media for saying this because of
09:24like race Wars but like there
09:28have been slaves for thousand thousands
09:29of years there were slaves in Egyptian
09:32times there were Jews who were slaves
09:34there were Persian slaves there were
09:35white slaves there were back slaves
09:37humans have enslaved one another period
09:40And I like to think of things in
09:42extremes because it allows me to think
09:43about what's
09:44possible and so the idea that someone
09:47else at some other time in history has
09:49worked seven days a week every hour that
09:51they're awake with a threat not of their
09:53own death but of their children's death
09:55because that's what I would do if I were
09:57trying to control somebody I would take
09:58their kids and say kill them if you
09:59don't work and guess what they'll
10:01probably work that that capacity exists
10:06and so I would think to myself
10:09like I would try and I would try and put
10:11myself in that frame so that I wouldn't
10:14get into the woe is me cycle and think
10:18all these things I could blame for why
10:20I'm here right now why isn't this
10:21working as fast like how is it that
10:24these guys are making more money than me
10:26like why don't these people give me the
10:28respect I deserve blah BL blah blah blah
10:30blah um and just say like what can I do
10:34now and then just every hour of every
10:37day well what can I do now and so it was
10:41I have to learn how to Market I have to
10:43learn how to sell I have to I have to go
10:45to these these groups that where other
10:48gym owners are and I got to learn their
10:49stuff I gotta I got to go to these
10:51seminars I got to save up so I can learn
10:53some stuff and that's what I did and so
10:57that's how I got out of it that visual
10:59of life as this like bloody game of tug
11:01of war where like most people their
11:03hands just get too cut to keep holding
11:06on to the Rope is like it's in it's
11:08stuck in my head yeah it's that's really
11:11powerful yeah it was
11:13tough so I'm
11:16I'm the first 100 Grand is the hardest
11:20and I know that that sounds like an
11:21unfathomable amount of money it took me
11:235 years like I get it so
11:27like you just just have to save it $1 at
11:30a time like that's like that's what it
11:32is now obviously I talk about other
11:33things
11:34like there are smarter ways to make
11:36money for sure like if you can sell
11:38expensive stuff you can just move the
11:40decimals like I mean like the thing is
11:43is it is factually true it is
11:46spiritually false and I don't even
11:47believe in spirituality in general but
11:49like it is it is tough to sell a $10
11:54million building and make a million doll
11:57commission or a $500,000 Commission
12:00when you are broke as it is very
12:03like it is like you would have to become
12:05a different person which is why most
12:06people's first sale is not that but is
12:09it technically possible yes a lot of
12:11people watch YouTube and the internet
12:14for complex money-making skills and they
12:17haven't even mastered showing up on time
12:20and so it's like they want to go
12:22straight to calculous but they don't
12:23know how to do simple Edition but the
12:25thing is is like simple Edition is
12:27foundational to that and none of the
12:29other stuff will matter unless you can
12:31do the basics but the basics doesn't
12:33make them less important usually they're
12:35the foundation of building which make
12:36them arguably more important they just
12:39are simpler to understand but not
12:41simpler to do and I think that's the big
12:43disconnect a lot of people have is that
12:45they think they because they understand
12:46something conceptually that they feel
12:48like they have already mastered the
12:49skill which are two very different
12:51things and so one of the most common
12:54traits that people who are poor have is
12:56that it's always tomorrow and so they
12:59never talk about anything in terms of
13:00today and so it's about starting
13:03tomorrow the diet tomorrow the diet on
13:04Monday next year my New Year's
13:06resolution it's always it's always
13:07pushing off so rather than uh delaying
13:11gratification they delay pain and so
13:14rather than trying taking pain now for
13:16pleasure later they take pleasure now
13:19and pain later and so they flip the
13:21equation and so they're surprised when
13:24today is later from yesterday that
13:27they're in pain because because if if
13:30last week you were like I'm starting my
13:33diet this week then it is now this week
13:36and you've delayed the pain to today and
13:40that means that the body you have right
13:41now is the result of the delayed pain
13:43that you are now forcing yourself to
13:45endure and
13:47so they're somehow surprised when the
13:50bill comes due that they pushed off from
13:53the past and so the first lesson of
13:56getting out of poverty is two words it's
13:59my fault it's I have to own that and I
14:02think my fault you can kind of
14:03extrapolate to right now not like you
14:06basically have to own everything that
14:08passed to this moment so all the pain
14:10that I've gone through all of the
14:11Mondays that I've missed all of the
14:13diets that I've skipped all of the
14:14savings I haven't made all of those are
14:18not my dad's fault my mom's fault my
14:20circumstances fault the country I was
14:21born in Fault the ZIP code any of those
14:23things fault it's just mine and the
14:25thing is is that people have this belief
14:27that because they have a strong argument
14:29for why it's something or someone else's
14:31fault that that somehow helps
14:34them and it just doesn't because
14:36whatever you cast blame to is where you
14:39also cast power to and so if I say I
14:44can't succeed because my mom didn't love
14:46me guess who controls me my mom and so
14:50if you also like replace my mom with a
14:54race a gender a political party whatever
14:58the thing like I can't succeed because
15:00of Trump's laws I can't succeed because
15:02of the radical left because of wokeism
15:04because of whatever you actually give
15:07that thing more power in your life than
15:09you give yourself and so it's completely
15:12it the thing is is that and this is
15:14what's so deceiving about it is it's
15:16very it's very um self-fulfilling is
15:19that you get more evidence and you get
15:20more confirmation you get more evidence
15:21you get more confirmation and the more
15:23your life sucks the more you're
15:24confirmed that you were right but like
15:27do you want to be right about the fact
15:30that your life
15:31sucks or would you rather like there's
15:34there's I think it's an old Zig Ziggler
15:35saying he said you can either be right
15:36or you can be rich and I mean it's
15:39simple but this is what he was getting
15:40at is that you can say you know what you
15:43are right your dad kicked the out
15:45of your whole life and you don't have
15:46any confidence because he told you a
15:47piece of every day you're
15:49right but in order to be rich you need
15:52to let that go because every day you say
15:54that I'm not successful because of this
15:56it means because this now owns you and
16:00for me personally that realization that
16:04the thing that I hated most in the world
16:06the things that I blamed for why my life
16:09wasn't the way it was I was their
16:12and just realizing that um made me angry
16:16but through that anger I was able to say
16:19well them like I will succeed
16:22despite the fact that my dad said this
16:24or my mom said this or Barack Obama said
16:26this or Trump said this or the woke left
16:28says what
16:29despite that despite the fact that the
16:31chips are stacked against me I will
16:34still win why does saying my fault and
16:36taking that accountability begin to set
16:38someone down the path of making more
16:40money and so if you think about if we
16:43think about success in terms of layers
16:44like foundations right the the the base
16:49level like when you're digging the
16:50building where you put the hole and you
16:52pour the concrete in the base of the
16:53entire thing is who is in power who is
16:58source
16:59because if it's anything but you in that
17:01base layer all of the other things on
17:04top of them will topple down it's it's a
17:07foundation of sand otherwise you can't
17:09build on top of blaming other people
17:11there's nothing that stands on it you
17:13see like I want to learn sales but I
17:16can't learn sales because I didn't get
17:19hugged enough as a kid and so I don't
17:20like people and so as long as you keep
17:23holding on to that you have sand as your
17:24foundation but if you want to learn how
17:26to sell or you want to learn how to
17:28Market or you to learn how to do
17:29whatever until you say well it's my
17:32fault that I don't know
17:33it and because of that it's within my
17:36power to change it so it's not sales
17:40books it's not it's not reading offers
17:42it's not it's not even your books at the
17:44at the very beginning you have to accept
17:45that which is the first two words my
17:47fault my responsibility all me I am
17:52source and then once you can accept that
17:54one thing and what's crazy is that that
17:56one Foundation is where 90% of people
17:58literally aren't they're not there they
18:01can't do it the reason my girlfriend
18:04left me is because of this not me the
18:06reason I lost my job is cuz my my
18:07employer was a dick my boss sucked
18:09whatever the economy like but like it
18:13never serves you like give me one
18:16instance one example this is to anybody
18:19who's listening to this one example of
18:21when you blame something else and it
18:23made you
18:25better one you can't find it because
18:28it's fundamentally not true and so you
18:31cannot both desire to get better and
18:34also maintain blame you have to pick
18:37when did this really hit home for you
18:39was it when you lost money no when I was
18:4119 years old I had to write an essay
18:44about uh depression in an intro to site
18:47class and I used to I don't talk about
18:50mother my mother very much but I used to
18:51Har a lot I was an equal I was an equal
18:54opportunity angry person I was angry at
18:55everybody uh in other words I blamed
18:58everyone
18:59and so I blamed her for X Y and Z and I
19:03remember having to write this essay on
19:08depression and you had to do it from
19:10someone else's perspective and so you
19:12had to say how would they how would the
19:14environment and their upbringing things
19:16like that contribute
19:18to the outcomes in their life and so by
19:21writing the essay true or not to be
19:24clear about my mother's upbringing and
19:27how heart she had as an immigrant coming
19:29here getting beat up as a kid getting
19:30made up for not being able to speak the
19:31language all that kind of stuff and this
19:33was in the 50s it's when like it
19:36was more accepted to beat up foreigners
19:38rather than let them in anyways um so
19:43she had a tough time and so it made
19:45sense and and when I framed it like that
19:47I was like you know maybe she's actually
19:48a massive success given where she
19:52started and so then I thought to myself
19:56now mind you I still wasn't over it but
19:58it was in this process that the first
20:00thing that happened is when I went back
20:01home for fall break or winter break I
20:04remember she said something to me which
20:05would normally just like be the
20:06beginning of some big fight you know you
20:08get into these routines like I'll say
20:09this thing that we both hate and then
20:10we'll just get in a nice fight about it
20:12and she said the trigger and I was just
20:14like I understand you I'm sorry you went
20:18through the stuff you went through and
20:20she just like looked completely shocked
20:23and then just like started balling and
20:25so I was like we're cool like you don't
20:29anger me anymore and I think for the
20:31most part since then like that's been
20:32more or less the dynamic that
20:35shifted but leading into that was also
20:38the idea that all the
20:40relationships that i' had that i' blamed
20:43for not working because of the dynamic
20:45that I had with my mother I was like I
20:48am giving her this power over my love
20:53life that's gross and so I was like well
20:57I'd rather just say it's on me to change
21:00and not have my mom or parents at all
21:02involved in my relationships and so that
21:05was me taking it's her fault that I
21:08can't make these things work I have
21:10commitment issues I don't want to get
21:11close to people I've been hurt before
21:13blah blah blah to like okay well let's
21:16take it to the ACT extrem great you're
21:18right you'll never be close to anyone
21:21you'll never have a relationship that
21:22I'll last you're right now
21:26what I remember I was out a
21:29conference and I had this lady stand up
21:32in the crowd and I had just done a thing
21:35on like I don't remember what it was
21:36called it offers and she stood up and
21:39said let me give you six reasons why
21:41this isn't going to work for my business
21:43and so she went down her list and I was
21:45like uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh so I got to
21:47the end of the whole thing and um she
21:49said and that's why this isn't going to
21:52work for my business and I was like
21:53you're right you'll never be able to
21:54make this work for your business and she
21:56looked at me like angry and she lashed
22:00back she's like yes I yes I will I'll be
22:03able to make this work for my business
22:04for this reason this reason and so the
22:06thing is is that like if the victim
22:08frame is just taken to the Natural
22:10extreme you realize that you're right
22:12you win the game and by being right the
22:14entire team you lose everything and so
22:17it's one of these frames that I love Dr
22:19cashi says this he says you're 99% right
22:21but 100% wrong and what that means is
22:25like for example if I every time I bring
22:28a girl home and I want my parents
22:30approval I bring her home and they say
22:32this isn't the one this isn't the one
22:34she's not good enough whatever it is
22:35every time it's easy for them to say
22:37that because every single person you
22:39date except for the one you marry they
22:41are right on and so they're 99% of the
22:44time they're right and they're confirmed
22:46by saying that that person that you
22:47bring home is not good enough because
22:49every time eventually you break up oh
22:50it's not going to last this isn't the
22:52one it keeps going right but if you keep
22:54doing that all the way to the Natural
22:56extreme you're 100% wrong because you
22:58will be wrong eventually it's the same
23:01thing as like I want to start this
23:02business it's not going to work it's not
23:04going to work the second one will work
23:05the fifth one won't work the seventh one
23:06work won't work and they're right but
23:09they're just wrong on the long enough
23:11time Rison because one of them will
23:12 work and one of the girls or one
23:15of the guys that you bring home will be
23:16the one that you are going to be with
23:18but it's so much safer for them to be
23:20right and right and right and you and
23:23they
23:24get deceived by their short-term
23:26rightness that they miss the long-term
23:28wrong and we do this to oursel too when
23:31you're in the victim frame I don't even
23:33like using the victim frame but when
23:34you're in the powerless frame you give
23:35the power away and you get to be right
23:38over that's why it didn't work this
23:39didn't work this relationship won't work
23:41this job won't work you keep it's not
23:42going to work this time either because
23:43you get to be right over and over again
23:44it makes you feel good in the short term
23:46but in the long term you guarantee the
23:48loss I think there's also like social
23:50reinforcement like we love to complain
23:52about the weather it's literally the
23:54same thing as never investing like if
23:57you want to invest your money right and
23:58you like you have all this big pile of
24:00savings if you ever invest there's
24:02always the possibility that it goes down
24:04in the short term it's just the nature
24:05of markets in general but if you never
24:08invest you guarantee that you will never
24:10get rich over the Long Haul and so every
24:13day you could make this risk you take a
24:15small risk but you guarantee a macro win
24:18so you take a small risk today potential
24:21for loss today for the guarantee over
24:22the long haul that it grows and it makes
24:24you money but the flip side is you don't
24:27take the small risk of loss today you
24:29take the Comfort today for the guarantee
24:31that you get the long loss and so so
24:34many people flip their life to that same
24:35thing is that they have they flip the
24:38pleasure for today and they and they
24:41they just forget the second half of this
24:42which is pain for tomorrow and that
24:44today is also yesterday's tomorrow and
24:47we're living through the pain that you
24:49cast like you own this and until you're
24:52like this is my fault them in pain today
24:54because of decisions that I put off pain
24:56for tomorrow where today is tomorrow
24:58when you're broke every dollar means so
25:01much to
25:02you
25:04but and you want to see the dollars in
25:07your bank account go up but I never made
25:10that my goal I made the amount of money
25:13I made every month my goal because I saw
25:16that as my like potential energy versus
25:18stored energy not to get I mean whatever
25:21physics people you get what I'm saying
25:24and so I was willing to take that stored
25:26energy and reinvested to take $5,000 a
25:29month in income to make it $6,000 a
25:31month cuz I knew that over a year I was
25:33going to make 12 and so if it cost me
25:34two to make the 12 in income I would
25:36make that trade every time and so
25:38whenever I'd save up a small like nut
25:41now obviously I've always been pretty
25:43good at about spending money like I i' I
25:45haven't had that that habit so like
25:47again foundations like first it's your
25:49fault second spend less than you make
25:52third take all of the excess and spend
25:54it on making more because if you're
25:57making minimum wage I'm GNA say what you
26:01probably already know you're not going
26:03to get ahead like you're not going to
26:04save your way there you're not like
26:07everyone loves to tell the story of that
26:08one girl at McDonald's but you know they
26:09don't tell the other hundred million
26:11people who worked at McDonald's over
26:12over the world who didn't make it and
26:14like the outcome they're talking about
26:15is like she made a million over 40 years
26:18at working McDonald's like you can shoot
26:20for more and so like take the money you
26:25make live on nothing and the hard part
26:27is just swallowing the Pride for the
26:28fact that in the short term everyone's
26:30going to be right when they say that
26:31you're amounting to nothing and that's
26:33the tough part that's the glass that you
26:35have to you have to swallow that they
26:36have to pull towards you and there's
26:40just no other way like you have to learn
26:42the skills now I mean to be fair YouTube
26:45didn't exist when when I was doing this
26:49and like Instagram was like a new
26:50platform so like all this stuff like the
26:53stuff we have today is crazy like the
26:54stack that these videos and this podcast
26:55like all the stuff didn't ex like I
26:56remember when podcasting came out out
26:58like I was already a business owner like
27:01none of this stuff existed but at the
27:03time I just took all the money I had and
27:05I I want to I want to make this point
27:06again is that people think that the
27:08money is about buying courses and stuff
27:10like that and you can like there's
27:11nothing wrong with that I've learned a
27:13ton from a lot of the stuff that I've
27:14bought to be really honest with you but
27:16I think that I've always had an amazing
27:17return on education because I always did
27:18it and I think like I always wanted to
27:22be the best student in every class and I
27:23was good at school and I and I I just
27:25took business as a different another
27:26another type of school but part of the
27:28expenses that come into like what you
27:29take that money for is experiments that
27:31fail and so one of the things that
27:33happens when you're broke is that you
27:35bet on stuff and it doesn't work and
27:38people feel like they're back at zero
27:39but you're not back at zero you're at
27:41where you were plus one experience plus
27:44two experiences plus three experiences
27:45plus four experience but when you have
27:46plus 18 experiences all of a sudden Boop
27:50you level up one you get experience
27:52points there's a reason in video games
27:53call experience points so you didn't
27:54trade it for nothing you got an
27:55experience point and with enough
27:57experience points you get to the Next
27:58Level and so I think if you just even
28:00thought about it like that it's not a
28:01loss but at an experience point it could
28:02get it could bridge the gap between your
28:04current income level and the income
28:05level that you want to get to and then
28:06guess what there's more experience point
28:08that you have to get there and those
28:09experience points also cost more money
28:12because when you take a bed in the
28:13beginning and when I say it cost money
28:15it's like if you run an ad and it
28:17doesn't work it costs money if you want
28:19to set up a Shopify store or an
28:21e-commerce store and you spend 30 40 50
28:23bucks a month whatever it costs money um
28:26and it does you know like all of the
28:28these things cost money to start now
28:29mind you it cost a lot less than it did
28:30in the 20s when you had to mortgage your
28:32house and guarantee that you'd win or
28:33you'd lose everything forever um so like
28:35the bar hasn't never been lower than it
28:37is now but there still is a bar and you
28:39have to get over it and I still think
28:40that the vast majority of the that
28:42people trying to get over has nothing to
28:44do with the difficulty of business but
28:45the first step the foundation which is
28:47it is my fault that I am here and in it
28:50being my fault I am the one who can get
28:52me out of it it sounds like in that
28:54stage three when you start experimenting
28:56and investing in that and let's say the
28:59kid who has a failed Drop Shipping
29:00experiment or starts a school group and
29:01they want to win the school games but
29:03they don't they measuring stick for
29:04whether or not they're doing well
29:06shouldn't be how much money they're
29:07making or should it like should they be
29:09thinking about money at that point
29:13or so the wealthiest people I
29:16know only think about skills they think
29:19about what can I learn and then what can
29:20this skill get me and so they will
29:25always take any money they can to buy
29:27more more
29:29skills and in the beginning you have to
29:32buy all the skills yourself once you
29:35have enough skills that you can generate
29:36an excess of income you can start buying
29:38other people's lives and what I mean by
29:40that is like everything comes down to
29:41buying time and so at some point you're
29:4510 years into your career and you have a
29:46handful of skills but you can buy
29:48someone else's 10 years of skills by
29:50just paying them to do something too so
29:51you don't have to learn all those things
29:53and so you do need to get good at stuff
29:55and then eventually you generalize to
29:56being good at people and that's pretty
29:57much always the path for everyone maybe
30:00the framing is like a lot of people who
30:01are wanting to make more money just
30:03don't know what the Avenues are yeah so
30:06a lot of people who want to make money
30:08don't understand how money is made and
30:11so it's made by getting it from someone
30:13else and they have to give it to you
30:15voluntarily or it's theft and so
30:18assuming you don't want to steal then
30:20you have to give something to someone
30:21else first and then by doing that they
30:25give you money in exchange which is why
30:27I love capitalism it's voluntary
30:28exchange between two parties and both
30:31parties say thank you at the end because
30:32both parties think they're better off
30:34from the trade and so the idea is what
30:37you want to be able to do is find
30:38something valuable to trade and so you
30:41can either trade stuff you can find a
30:44place where you can get stuff and then
30:46bring it to other people where it's
30:48convenient for them so they pay you more
30:50than you did when you had to go find it
30:51at some back alley cuz you know Suburban
30:54mom doesn't want to go into back alley
30:56to get X Y and Z but you'll give it to
30:58man it sounds like I'm explaining drugs
31:01but well there's a reason they make
31:03money but anyways point is is that you
31:05can sell stuff at a at a margin and a
31:08part of that margin is going to be the
31:09convenience that you deliver them and
31:11either you're selling stuff to someone
31:12else manufactures you create your own
31:13stuff now if you're starting out you're
31:14probably going to sell someone else's
31:16stuff and I do think and I I mean I'm
31:18saying this right
31:19now I do love the concept that the first
31:23thing you sell is not the last thing
31:24you're going to sell and so learning to
31:27sell in and of itself the best way to
31:28learn to sell is sell something and
31:30that's why uh referral referral uh
31:33programs Ambassador programs affiliate
31:35programs for different types of
31:36businesses almost every business I've
31:38ever owned has an affiliate program um
31:40it's great to enroll in those I'm not
31:42even going to say any of the names of
31:43the companies that that we have because
31:44I want you like it's not about that I
31:46want you to if you can just because then
31:49you you only have to figure out one
31:50skill like if I just sell someone if I
31:51just promote I get paid cool and I can
31:54do that over and over again now over
31:55time you're like man I want to make more
31:57of the nut cool then you just you eat up
31:59more of the
32:00responsibility so you can either sell
32:03stuff or you can sell skills you can SK
32:07sell outcomes and so that's where you
32:09develop a certain expertise so like in
32:11the beginning for me and like the first
32:12time this ever like the first money I
32:15ever made from a stranger was that I had
32:17a lady at the gym it's a real story I
32:20was in really good shape I like to think
32:22so and she said will you meet me uh and
32:26do a nutrition consultation for me and
32:28she didn't even say that she said will
32:29you help me with my food I think is what
32:30she said and I said sure um and so we
32:34met at a at a pizza place ironically
32:36college no this was after college this
32:38is after graduate from college um when I
32:39was still consultant so I I went we met
32:42at a Pete's Place and I was like okay
32:46well what are you currently eating and
32:47she was like this and I was like well
32:49what do you want to do she's like I'm
32:50trying to lose weight and I was like
32:51well this is something I eat for
32:53breakfast that's less calories than your
32:54thing it's pretty good and try this and
32:55try this and try this and it took like
32:57an hour and then um I had like a notepad
33:00and I gave her the notes or whatever and
33:02she took out her purse and she wrote
33:04$200 on a check and she handed it to me
33:06she was like thanks so much and I was
33:11like looked I was just like looking at
33:13the check looking at her looking at the
33:14check looking at her and I was like okay
33:15don't act surprised and I was like uh
33:17thanks and then she left and I was like
33:19holy I was like I just got paid for
33:22but like realistically I'd been in at
33:24this point I was competing so I'm
33:26winning I'm like I had a state record at
33:27that point I was in I was in shape you
33:28know what I mean um and I think she knew
33:31I was a state record holder cuz the gym
33:33that I was was powerlifting gym um but I
33:36had done some stuff I had gotten some
33:38level of authority on some tiny thing
33:40and people were like oh can you help me
33:43with that too and to be really honest
33:45with you my entire life and I'm saying
33:47like there's many paths but like my life
33:49has been learn something get good at it
33:53have evidence that you were good at the
33:54thing and then people ask you for help
33:56on that thing and so in the beginning
33:58people asked me how to get in shape and
33:59then I started a business around getting
34:00people in shape and then people who had
34:02businesses around getting people in
34:03shape asked me how I was getting my
34:05businesses that were getting people in
34:06shape to work and then people who had
34:08businesses that were national scale that
34:10helped people in a specific Niche or
34:11industry started asking me how I was
34:13helping people in a specific nich
34:14industry and then people who had really
34:16big businesses just started asking me
34:17how did you get a really big business
34:18and so like my entire life's been simply
34:21doing as hard as I could to get
34:23good at something and then do it enough
34:25times and to be really like very clear
34:27with you every time I did it it was not
34:29to move on to the next step it was to
34:31just get good at the thing and then by
34:33getting good at the thing people asked
34:35me about it and so it wasn't like I lost
34:3710 pounds and then tried to start
34:38selling you know weight loss advice I
34:41had multiple State records and I
34:44like I looked good you know what I mean
34:46like I was in very good shape and then
34:49people started asking me about it and
34:50then I didn't have one gym and start
34:53telling people hey here's how you run a
34:54gy I had six gyms by the time I was 26
34:57and and then people were like okay
34:58you're 26 and you have six gyms and you
34:59did all cash flow like you're doing
35:01something right and then people started
35:04asking me about the stuff and then and
35:06then when I had the licensing business
35:07doing 4 million a month people who had
35:09other bigger businesses were doing a
35:11million a month or 500,000 a month like
35:12how do you get to 4 million a month and
35:14I was like well this is what I did and
35:15so like I've just tried to figure it out
35:18and it's it's like the path has always
35:20been revealed as I took more steps and
35:22so I think a big fallacy in the early on
35:24days is trying to think that you're
35:25going to figure out the entire path
35:26before you even take the First Step it's
35:28just not true I was going to ask how
35:31important is it for someone to have that
35:32moment with the check where they just
35:33make their first I mean in some ways I
35:36think it's everything in other ways it's
35:37nothing like one of the cool um
35:39Shameless plug for school the
35:42um 3.44% of people who finished their
35:45first month of school make their first
35:46dollar online and that's like so
35:51like like that's why we do it you know
35:53what I mean like I know how hard that
35:56first dollar is like there's there's so
35:58much to get the first dollar across the
35:59because the second dollar comes so much
36:00faster after that um that I mean that's
36:04why that's why I invest in the company
36:05that's why I'm so adamant about it but
36:08um anyways the the point is is that yes
36:12I think having the first dollar get
36:14across is very important but if you can
36:17reframe it from that experience points
36:18perspective that there's there's there's
36:20probably three levels before that you
36:21have to like level one is that you have
36:23to understand that it's my fault level
36:25two is that you have to use what you
36:27have not what you wish you had to get to
36:29where you want to go and where you want
36:31to go isn't 100 steps forward it's just
36:33the next step and so like I don't think
36:35that anger drives me as much as it used
36:38to but it was everything that I had when
36:41I started and so if I had listen to the
36:44positivity Mantra when I started I never
36:46would have gotten going because nothing
36:47made me feel happy and so they were like
36:50follow your passion and I was like my
36:52passion is to not be poor and to not be
36:55here in Baltimore that's my passion is
36:57not be here and so that's what drove me
37:01and so I think that it just needs to be
37:03restated that
37:04like is that the goal sure but is that
37:08necessary to start no it's not and so I
37:12can tell you that even when I was angry
37:15um and getting through that making more
37:17money did make my life better like I had
37:19more ability to deal with inconveniences
37:22hassles health issues from family
37:23members that I had to putot the bill for
37:25like all these things like money can
37:27provide value and so um I'll say this
37:30thing that a mentor told me he said
37:32money does not buy happiness but it can
37:33help you avoid
37:35pain and so like I think that there's
37:38nothing wrong with getting with making
37:40money obviously I like doing it um but I
37:44just
37:45hate the people who espouse that you
37:48have to feel a certain way to win or
37:52that or that winning when you are angry
37:55or sad or in pain or shame
37:57is somehow wrong and so I just like you
38:01have to meet success where you're at and
38:03the first step you have to take out of
38:04anger and the next step you have to take
38:06out of sadness and the next one you have
38:07to take out of Shame and use that to to
38:09propel yourself forward all that matters
38:11you take the
38:12step and one of the things that I always
38:14like is for a very long time I didn't
38:16consider myself a good person I mean I
38:17still probably don't but um in terms of
38:20like I I always identified with the
38:22villain um and the oppressor in most
38:25scenarios which is bad but anyways but I
38:29there's a point to this is that I never
38:33thought that I
38:34deserved the good life I never thought I
38:36didn't think I deserve the happy ending
38:38I put it that way and
38:42so the thing that got me through that
38:45was the idea and this felt like honestly
38:46like gaming the system so like from the
38:49evil side was that I could still get the
38:53good guys ending if I just did the thing
38:56that they do to get the ending so I
38:59didn't have to do it with pure
39:01intentions I didn't have to do it as a
39:03great guy but if I just still did the
39:06things I could still get the getting and
39:09I think for me that that realization has
39:12been why my ruthless focus on like what
39:14did you do and to everyone who listens
39:16to my stuff like it's like great throw
39:19the emotions out throw the spiritual
39:21energy vibrations out what do you
39:24do patience is just figuring out what to
39:27do do in the meantime like courage is
39:30acting as though you weren't afraid like
39:33like what do you do and then eliminating
39:35everything else and then just doing that
39:37and then doing whatever mental tricks
39:38you have to do which is like there were
39:39slaves who work seven days a week so can
39:41I like and then
39:44alternatively
39:46catastrophizing the alternative path
39:49which is that if I do not do
39:51anything this is what will happen
39:53eventually that pain in the future will
39:55be my pain today and then actively
39:57thinking about what that pain would be
39:59like and then seeing if that can make
40:01you more uncomfortable than the comfort
40:02that you're in and I think I I think
40:05Tony Robin says this he says change
40:07happens when the pain of staying the
40:09same sorry when the pain of change is
40:11less than the pain of staying the same
40:13and so if you're comfortable and staying
40:14the same the point is to make yourself
40:17more in pain to get yourself to move and
40:20so I think there's a skill in being able
40:23to Future pace and think through what
40:25pain you're going to go through like if
40:27you're like man okay I have gained 5 lb
40:30a year and it has been 4 years so I'm 20
40:32lb up well if 4 years from now I'm
40:36another 20 lbs heavier and Imagining the
40:39snide comments at the Holiday party or
40:42the if you're a girl the guy who says
40:44man she'd be really cute if she lost 40
40:46PBS or like even like I'm going girls
40:50perspective here a guy who says
40:52something that's like
40:54um I would be with her but she's just
40:56she's just too fast
40:58she's just not cute enough and you're
41:00like wow that's so Politically Incorrect
41:02deal with it it's
41:05life but the thing is is like your
41:07thoughts don't need to be politically
41:08correct they're your thoughts they're no
41:09one else's thoughts and so whatever you
41:11have to do to get yourself there and for
41:12me the idea that a girl that I would
41:14want to be with would be like I just
41:15don't think he's ambitious enough I
41:16don't think he's successful enough like
41:18that those ideas killed me and so I
41:21never wanted to be denied entry to
41:22somewhere because I didn't have these
41:24things now do I believe that people
41:27should be denying entry no but I also
41:28realize that's the way the world is and
41:30so you I think you can balance both
41:32beliefs like I'd love things to be
41:33different but I accept the fact that
41:34they're not does this feel like a good
41:35argument for getting rid of other broke
41:37friends because I bet other broke
41:38friends reduce the pain of staying the
41:40same a friend who supports you is
41:43someone who
41:45deliberately decreases the possibility
41:48of
41:49failure and so if you look at your
41:52friends and you ask yourself does this
41:54person increase or decrease the
41:57possibility of failure with my goal it's
41:59very easy to answer that question it's
42:00yes or no it's increase or decrease
42:02there's no in between do they increase
42:03or they decrease my possibility that I
42:05get to my goal if the answer is
42:08decrease and get rid of them because
42:11imagine that you have 100% chance of
42:13hitting your goal and you have three
42:15friends that have a 30% decrease like
42:18you might now have a have a you
42:20know whatever third time three is
42:21whatever you have 27% chance of hitting
42:23your goal now because you have three
42:24terrible friends like negative
42:25experience yeah yeah they're they're
42:28they're it's like getting in video games
42:31it's like you've got somebody who's
42:32casting like a slow spell on you and
42:34you're like moving so slow and you're
42:35like weak and like all your all your
42:37hits have like half power like a lot of
42:40people need to
42:42shed friendships but the thing is it's
42:44more that they call them friends but
42:46they're not really friends they're just
42:48there and they're there because they've
42:50always been there but not because they
42:52should be there but because they're
42:54going to help you get to where you want
42:55to go they just they're just there they
42:57exist they're not going anywhere they
42:59don't have goals and they're at a
43:01different part of their Journey there's
43:02nothing wrong with that but if you're
43:03going to start the path of of of
43:06drinking glass and starting to to to
43:08double time you got to live your life
43:09and you got to live tomorrow's life and
43:10the next day's life and start dragging
43:12that towards you they're going
43:14to they're going to be upset about it
43:18and so one of the say I recently have
43:20that I like a lot which is there are no
43:23social obligations only social
43:25consequences and the people who want to
43:28deliver those consequences often do it
43:31by talking to you less and by avoiding
43:34you more they try to spend less time
43:36with you and talk to you less to punish
43:38you for the fact that you missed the
43:40party you missed the going out you
43:41didn't show up to their wedding you
43:42didn't show up to their dogs christening
43:44or
43:45whatever but the crazy thing is is that
43:47if you felt obligated to go then it
43:50means you didn't want to go and if mean
43:54that means that if you didn't want to go
43:55and the punishment of not going is that
43:57you don't have to go more in the future
43:58because they avoid you and they don't
44:00invite you anymore then to me that's a
44:01win-win you save time today and you save
44:04time tomorrow and I don't understand why
44:06people are not willing to deal with that
44:08like just looking at what happens rather
44:10than whatever emotional noise they make
44:11with their face at you like moving past
44:13that great you expelled Air at me
44:15understood got it but the outcome is you
44:17will no longer invite me which is what I
44:20want great I feel like we won here and
44:24so thinking second and third order
44:27outcomes from what happens when I quote
44:29break up with this friend or what
44:31happens when I offend this friend a lot
44:33of times it's you closer to your
44:35goal and I've always been okay with that
44:39and like if someone if someone
44:43like the moment I have seen somebody as
44:46decreased in the likely that I hit my
44:47goal I am happy to tell them that like I
44:51think I think you are not good for me I
44:54don't think you help me hit what I want
44:55to hit and they' be like well then
44:57they'll try and downgrade your goals and
44:59say you shouldn't believe this way and
45:00then they'll cast their beliefs on you
45:03and for me it's like that's amazing that
45:04you believe that I don't believe that
45:06and I don't really want to believe what
45:07you believe because then I would have
45:08your life and I certainly don't want
45:10that and so like again I I you I I make
45:13these tweets about this but it's like if
45:15you don't like their life don't listen
45:16to what they say like don't take their
45:18advice if you don't like what you see
45:20and so if everyone around you has a life
45:24you don't want then don't listen to any
45:26of their advice like again hopefully
45:28you're listening to this and you're
45:29watching if there's some element of my
45:31life or whatever that you find awesome
45:32cool then maybe some element of what I
45:34can share is helpful for you um but you
45:37have to put blinders on because there is
45:39a period of time where you and I mean
45:40I've said this but you're not going to
45:42be successful enough for the next tier
45:44of friends but you're too different from
45:46the friends that you used to have and so
45:48that middle path is very lonely but the
45:50good thing about loneliness is you've
45:51got time and right now time's what you
45:53need because you got to learn stuff you
45:55got to get the skills so you can start
45:56trading that for more and more money and
45:57then you can take the money and trade
45:58that for more money but in the beginning
46:00you just have time and that's what you
46:02have to spend and so if you are broke or
46:05you are poor and wish to no longer be
46:07broken
46:10poor the first is owning the fact that
46:13everything that has to do with your life
46:15is your
46:16fault and a lot of people will reject
46:18that and you're right stay poor you're
46:20totally right you'll never be successful
46:22you're totally right I believe
46:25you the next next step is being willing
46:30to use what you have rather than what
46:32you think you should have or what you
46:34wish you had the circumstances the
46:36connections the money whatever the
46:39passion the purpose the meaning behind
46:41the work you can wish for all that stuff
46:44but you don't have it so you have to use
46:45what you have which could be anger could
46:47be shame could be pain
46:51whatever and
46:53then as soon as you start taking action
46:55everyone around you will collapse and
46:58try to pull you down and so the only way
47:01to protect yourself against that is to
47:03increase your own approval of self and
47:07decrease how much their opinion of you
47:10matters which means that you have to be
47:12you have to be proud of you for taking
47:14the
47:16step and actively look at their lives
47:19and think do I want what they have if
47:22the answer is no then do not listen to
47:24what they
47:25say
47:28and then when you do that you keep
47:30walking you keep taking
47:32steps no matter how painful it is then
47:34you never
47:35stop and if you do that you will get
47:40there so cool
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