00:17i'm on the ted stage because apparently
00:20i'm successful i'm lucky
00:24i get to help organizations connect
00:26better in the workplace to drive
00:28innovation and growth and i get to
00:30tell stories for a living
00:34but there's one story i've never
00:42think about all of your connections for
00:46of all of the people you're linked to on
00:48facebook your iphone
00:50twitter who is the most important
00:59your partner colleagues
01:04what do you do if you can't make a
01:08to the most important person to you
01:14i didn't know what to do
01:17even with all my tools and frameworks
01:21i was lost because the most important
01:27was also the toughest
01:34as my career success grew externally
01:39my mother's mental health severely
01:44she became very ill and my response
01:48was to try to fix it with books medicine
01:53it only seemed to drive us further apart
01:58she didn't leave the house for over two
02:02there was a time when i couldn't reach
02:08even with all my measures of success
02:16i cried daily about the pain of not
02:20being able to connect with
02:22my mother grieving for the loss of a
02:30and i also felt like a total loser a
02:32connection expert externally
02:35who couldn't even connect with my own
02:38last year my mother turned 60 and i was
02:42batting around the typical ideas for a
02:49and it was in that moment of total
02:53that i just asked myself when have i
02:57truly connected to my mom
03:02and i remembered a mome a moment in my
03:04childhood i was about eight years old
03:06and we were painting together
03:08it was the heaviest i remembered her the
03:10canvas and the paint both a buffer and
03:12outlet for our emotions
03:15and so i just decided to buy her and
03:17send her a painting set
03:20and without expectations at all
03:23my mother started painting and she
03:26started to send me shots
03:28by text message of her work
03:32she painted this first one an eye
03:36now what do you see when you look at
03:40let me tell you what i see i see my
03:43see you do you see me she also painted
03:47on my birthday of the two of us
03:50when you look at this painting what do
03:53side by side i see my mother and i
03:58the painting set was the first thing
04:00that actually gave us a way to connect
04:03without words in a way that nothing else
04:06we rekindled our relationship together
04:09the painting set helped my mother escape
04:13and allowed us to deepen our
04:17and it was through that journey with my
04:19mother that i began to ask myself
04:21about my own search for real connection
04:24as my mother rekindled her love for art
04:28what were the sources of connection that
04:30i had lost from my past
04:34i asked myself that question not only
04:37but also professionally
04:40i had been training the world to be more
04:43innovative and connected in the
04:46often bringing new tools and best
04:48practices and use case studies
04:52but i realized that i had been asking
04:56how can we be smarter with our
04:57connections in our digital world
05:01and through my mother i realized that i
05:05how can we be wiser with our connections
05:09i needed to move from intelligence to
05:14because without wisdom intelligence
05:20i needed to connect past my own fears
05:23but in my professional life
05:26i asked myself how could i unlock the
05:31in our working world today we have a
05:33massive disease of disconnection
05:35in the workplace today an inhibition of
05:38often our most creative
05:40selves we follow the same routines the
05:44the daily coffee run the weekly lunch
05:48and so in that journey i began to ask
05:53how could i spark wiser connections not
05:56only personally but professionally
06:00and i had to ask myself first what were
06:02the sources of connection
06:04that i had lost from my past
06:08who here has heard of bhangra
06:11raise your hand if you've heard of
06:15some bhangra music for a second who here
06:18is dance bungara raise your hand if
06:20you've danced bunga you might remember
06:22show us a little bit if you do it's a
06:25indian dance heavy on rhythm and energy
06:28as you can hear it uh the drumbeat gets
06:33i started doing bhangra indian bangra
06:36my mother used to take me to indian
06:38movies as a kid we grew up in pittsburgh
06:41and i used to love just the energy and
06:43rhythm of what bhangra really created
06:46and it was when i was reminded of that
06:49that journey around loving bhangra that
06:52i remembered this moment
06:54150 people clapped and whistled whooped
06:58clearly pleased with the dance
07:00performance seven-year-old me was the
07:02happiest i'd ever been
07:04i had just performed indian bangra at my
07:06local school with my first grade
07:09i remember it like yesterday i had
07:12gotten the vhs tapes and rewinded and
07:15practiced the dance day in day out
07:17then i taught my first grade classmates
07:19how to do the the dance
07:21and i remembered in that moment from the
07:24final event it was my first real
07:28of connection with wisdom i think about
07:31that moment a lot because
07:33it allowed me to be curious in new ways
07:35about my culture and history
07:37courageous to take risks and also
07:40to engage my community i asked myself
07:44did i come from and ultimately where was
07:47and i unlocked a powerful source of
07:50energy within myself
07:52so fast forward 25 years later
07:55as i began actually to rekindle my love
07:57for bunga i went back to dance class and
07:59performed it at wet at family weddings
08:02i really began to think about the
08:05professional world that i had been
08:07living in and and the work that i'd done
08:09around connection and that's when
08:13i discovered the solution that made me
08:16act and work with not only smarter
08:20but wiser connections i thought about
08:25could help us better connect and
08:29so during my executive sessions and
08:31workplace meetings i started asking my
08:34clients to dance with me
08:35on stage the equalizing nature of the
08:38movement completely engaged
08:40audiences silent contributors began to
08:42engage in rooms where they never spoke
08:45it dissolved the traditional hierarchies
08:47and silos the power structures the
08:50in the workplace and it was just about
08:53getting up whether it was the partner or
08:54the intern it was about getting up and
08:57out there we often talk about the
09:00of dance in the workplace citing the
09:03discipline of dance as a strategic
09:05process or a ritual form of connection
09:08we've heard about the salsa the
09:10step-by-step routine helping people move
09:13or the tango the total absorption of the
09:15dancers and the dance
09:18but what i realized from my own place
09:22is what we needed was to dance and use
09:24bhangra in the workplace i saw that
09:26the truest expression of bhangra showed
09:28that our bodies never lie
09:30they actually reach for words that don't
09:34and allow us to connect without words in
09:39and i also realized that for me it was
09:41about bungara dance but for those in the
09:44any type of connection that they had
09:47it could be walking meetings during the
09:49day or taking your team to an improv or
09:53or hosting a new ideation competition or
09:55a hackathon to crowdsource ideas
09:58from those unexpected or unlikely
10:01around you when's the last time
10:05you felt fully creative engaged and
10:09as an adult that's what you want to feel
10:14and that's what connection with wisdom
10:18we have to move in different rhythms not
10:20the same old same old
10:22to connect in new environments move from
10:25our typical 905 to 910 coffee routine
10:28and maybe go to three new cafes every
10:30single week and bring one different
10:33maybe your friend but maybe your admin
10:34assistant maybe your customer maybe a
10:38when we connect in entirely new ways
10:41it gives us the curiosity to ask new
10:44and the courage to take new risks
10:48innovation happens every day in secret
10:50in silos and cubicles
10:53and we have to move in different rhythms
10:56we have to connect with our deepest
10:58and bring that to work so we can inspire
11:01problems in entirely new ways the
11:04holiday season's coming up
11:08what's the most important connection
11:15wi-fi we are the most
11:19disconnected plugged out and tuned out
11:22with our closest relatives
11:25this year i'm going home for the
11:29and seeing my mother after a few years
11:33and you better believe will be bunga
11:38so where did i learn my greatest lesson
11:43not from my books or my research or
11:51and what does this have to do with the
11:53world of business and work in our lives
11:56well connection today is often used to
12:00large quantity of networks and
12:03but that's just a high level and
12:06it's about tapping into our most vital
12:08emotional and creative spirits so we can
12:11connect with what is from our past but
12:14evolve it take the necessary twists and
12:18to grow into the future
12:22as i learned and experienced my own
12:26the deepest lesson that i learned is
12:28that our greatest sources of connection
12:31are where we least expect it from
12:36of those unlikely sources of knowledge
12:39that are next to us nearby
12:42or even far away that we can connect to
12:48how could we leave this room
12:51feeling a bit more connected in a new
12:58i could tell you how or i could
13:02show you so please join me in standing
13:06up right now with your arms up in the
13:08air let's get some music
13:11we'll play the music hands up
13:16okay let's get the music
