00:00ah this is driving me insane to make a
00:03lot of money you don't need to be a
00:04genius you just need to remember a few
00:07ramit Sethi Financial expert the money
00:09man New York Times bestseller has more
00:11than 20 000 documented success stories
00:13this is your chance to never worry about
00:15money again you can live a rich life
00:17regardless of where you came from
00:19regardless of your income how many
00:21people are clear on what their rich life
00:24looks like less than one percent when I
00:26talk to people who have a spending
00:27problem 100 of the time they always say
00:30the same thing I just need to earn more
00:31if you double your income today do you
00:33think your problems would disappear no
00:35some of the stats I pulled out from your
00:37book about 25 of people who made hundred
00:39thousand dollars a year plus are still
00:41living paycheck to paycheck makes us
00:44realize that maybe the things we think
00:45we need are things that we have been
00:47socially taught are important for
00:49example owning a house is the best
00:51investment it means you are successful
00:53but it can be a very bad financial
00:55decision there are far better far
00:57simpler Investments so I've got 100
00:59pounds that I want to invest where do I
01:01start I love that we're getting into the
01:03nuts and bolts let's do this exercise
01:05together and everyone can do it with us
01:06first off and then got it now there's
01:09just one more thing you have to do
01:12do you know the math I would have 736
01:15000 in my account yeah
01:18ramits 10 Money Rules this is where the
01:22real wealth is created number one
01:32this episode changed my perspective on
01:36money I'm an investor I've been
01:38investing for the last six seven years
01:40at different levels big companies small
01:42companies the S P 500 funds you name it
01:45but ramit changed my mind he changed my
01:51spending investing and he changed my
01:54mind on something that I think
01:5695 of you that are listening to this
01:59podcast and they're about to listen to
02:00this need to have your mind changed on
02:03too that if you have the right
02:05philosophy towards money the right
02:07perspective and mindset towards money
02:10then there is a path to living our rich
02:15to becoming rich that enough people are
02:19not talking about he debunks the myths
02:21of money the limiting beliefs about
02:25and he confronts all of the unhelpful
02:28that stands in the way of you becoming
02:33there's an app on my phone that I now
02:35have installed because of this
02:38and there are three big Investments that
02:40I've now made in my life because of this
02:44and there is one key idea
02:47that I now believe will make me ten
02:50times more wealthy over the next three
02:54because of this conversation
02:57you're gonna love it
03:08someone's just clicked on this podcast
03:10on YouTube on Spotify on Apple and they
03:13saw the title they saw the thumbnail
03:14they thought that sounds interesting
03:17tell me why you think
03:20they should stay and listen to what
03:22we're going to talk about today what
03:23they stand to gain if they give us their
03:26whenever someone hears someone talking
03:30they get rigid they instantly think that
03:33someone's going to come in and tell them
03:34you can't spend money on lattes you
03:37can't go on vacation you can't buy any
03:38new clothes save all your money until
03:41you're 90 years old and maybe just maybe
03:45then you can spend it and I don't
03:47believe in any of that I think you
03:49should spend extravagantly on the things
03:51you love as long as you cut costs
03:54mercilessly on the things you don't
03:56I think you should live a rich life
03:59and an even richer life tomorrow and so
04:02when you combine money and psychology
04:04you start to understand that there is
04:06more to a rich life than just some
04:09number in a spreadsheet people already
04:11know they should be saving more
04:12they know about compound interest they
04:15may not know the intricacies but they
04:17understand if they invest some now
04:18they're going to have more later
04:21so what's stopping them that's been the
04:22central question that I'm fascinated
04:24with for the last 20 years that's why
04:26when I studied human behavior and
04:28persuasion and psychology I was obsessed
04:31with this question of what are the
04:33things we know we should do but we still
04:36don't you can live a rich life
04:38regardless of where you came from
04:41you can live a rich life regardless of
04:44now of course having a higher income
04:48but just like Fitness we can all improve
04:50where we are and that's what we get to
04:53when you talk about the language
04:55language of money what do you mean I
04:57mean understanding the nuts and bolts of
04:59money so just the same way that we all
05:02learn how to drive we learn the rules of
05:04the road when to use our turn signals
05:06most of us do not have even the
05:08equivalent knowledge of money for
05:10example the basic language of money
05:12would be what percentage of your income
05:15are you saving and why
05:17what percentage are you investing and
05:20why when will you have a hundred
05:23thousand dollars or five hundred
05:24thousand or a million dollars and what
05:27will that money get you because just
05:30having a million dollars in the bank is
05:31pointless what does it get you
05:35this is the basic language of money
05:37you've got to know your key four six
05:41numbers in your life not many just a few
05:43but once you understand those numbers
05:45it's like understanding the speed limit
05:48understanding the speed limit means you
05:50understand a lot there's a rule of the
05:52road if you go too fast what's going to
05:54happen why do these rules exist and
05:57these rules are similar in money you can
06:00that's okay but you got to understand
06:02the rules first what are those numbers
06:04that I need to know there's four numbers
06:06that I really like to track I track
06:07these myself and these are the numbers I
06:09encourage the first is your fixed costs
06:12those would be your rent or your
06:15mortgage your in uh your any debt
06:18payments groceries the money that you
06:21are spending every single month that is
06:24and the number I recommend for that is
06:2650 to 60 of your take-home pay
06:30so that would be if you're spending 50
06:32to 60 percent of what you make what you
06:34take home on your rent your groceries
06:36any debt payments your car
06:38you're in good shape okay the next one
06:41is your savings that would be roughly
06:43five to ten percent savings would be
06:45things like an emergency fund savings
06:48for a down payment for a car things like
06:50third is Investments uh this is where
06:53the real wealth is created and for this
06:56five to ten percent of take home is fine
06:59of course the more you put in the more
07:02you're gonna have and then the fourth
07:04category the one I love the most is
07:07called guilt-free spending
07:09this is going out for cocktails in New
07:11York it's buying a beautiful shirt it's
07:14treating your friends whatever you love
07:1920 to 35 percent of your take-home pay
07:22so if you're watching or you're
07:24listening to this just take 15 minutes
07:27back of the napkin jot down your
07:30approximate numbers you don't even have
07:31to get them perfect and you will be able
07:33to Benchmark how you are spending
07:36compared to those numbers
07:38I'll tell you that those numbers tell me
07:41a lot it's almost if you just show me
07:43those four numbers of your spending I
07:45can tell so much I can tell what you
07:47love spending on I can tell what you
07:48don't I can tell what your priorities
07:52and I can also tell where you are out of
07:55so I'll give you an example
07:57when I ask people what is your rich life
07:59one of the common answers they say is I
08:01want to do what I want when I want I go
08:04oh God not this answer again I hear it
08:06every day I go wow that's so interesting
08:13uh uh most people have never thought
08:15Beyond a trite answer
08:17so then the next answer I often get is
08:19freedom I want freedom I go great that
08:22what is freedom I want to do what I want
08:24when I want I look at their numbers and
08:28a huge payment that they're making to a
08:32I see debt payments I see car payments
08:35and I go now this is interesting you
08:38want freedom but you have essentially
08:40anchored yourself down to not be able to
08:44travel or to Pivot or to move
08:47how can those two be how can you
08:49reconcile those two and that dissonance
08:51is actually a fascinating moment I love
08:54when we experience dissonance we all do
08:56I say that I want to work out more but I
08:58don't work out more why
09:01and what you'll discover is people often
09:03they simply have never thought about it
09:05what what our rich life is these Genera
09:08these generic phrases Freedom
09:10flexibility it's just words
09:13what I really want somebody to say I
09:15want them to go a lot deeper is to say I
09:17want to be able to travel for six weeks
09:19a year I want to go to London I want to
09:23go to New Delhi I want to go to Thailand
09:26because I want to visit my family
09:28that's a good start if we get even more
09:30specific they tell me what seat on the
09:32airline they're sitting on they tell me
09:34where they're eating they tell me who
09:35they're bringing with them
09:37but to Simply say I want freedom
09:40is so vague that when I look at your
09:43numbers there's often a huge incongruity
09:45with how you're spending versus what you
09:47claim your rich life is how many people
09:49from your experience of interviewing
09:51people and doing this research
09:53are clear on what their rich life looks
09:57down to you know what you described
09:59there I want to travel for a couple of
10:00months a year and then even further down
10:03to which seat I'm going to be in which
10:05class I'm going to be on as I travel
10:06less than one percent less than one
10:08percent of people know that no most
10:10people literally say I want to do what I
10:12want when I want that is their the
10:14extent to which they've thought about a
10:17rich life why does it matter to be what
10:20did that one that less than one percent
10:22of people that have that planned out
10:24have as an advantage or a benefit from
10:26that meticulous thought that the other
10:2999 don't have because they can craft
10:32their rich life that is uniquely theirs
10:35almost like getting a handmade glove and
10:38in fact the more you craft your rich
10:39life the more bewildering it looks to
10:42the outside world so I'll give you an
10:44example from my own life I love to
10:48I spend a lot of money when my wife and
10:50I we go we'll travel for months at a
10:53I love hotels I love the hospitality I
10:57love the details I I love it all
11:01I don't really care about cars not at
11:03this phase of my life it's just not that
11:06so when I talk about my money dials or
11:09the things that I love to spend money on
11:13a crazy amount on a hotel per night just
11:18but I drive a car that's almost 20 years
11:20old it's just not important to me
11:23and I want that I want to hear in your
11:25life what you spend extravagantly on but
11:28then you cut costs mercilessly on
11:30because I want that Duality which
11:33indicates you are intentional about your
11:35rich life what if we're buying things to
11:38impress other people and we don't
11:39because it's hard to un looking in from
11:41the outside especially it's hard to know
11:43if someone actually likes Lamborghinis
11:44yeah or if they're buying Lamborghinis
11:46because they were beat up when they were
11:48nine years old on the playground and
11:50they're trying to overcompensate and
11:52make the world and does it matter where
11:54they're buying it does it matter I don't
11:55know first of all how would we even know
11:58how would they know is there is there a
12:00difference do you think just on your in
12:01your opinion on the impact that that
12:03purchase has on us whether we're doing
12:04it intrinsically or we're doing it
12:06extrinsically because I reflect on
12:08some of the things that I spent money on
12:10and I go that was for someone else
12:12whereas there's other things I spend
12:13money on which are maybe health related
12:15or travel related like convenience
12:17flying in a nice class on a plane which
12:19I know that's actually adding a lot of
12:20benefits to my life whereas that Mansion
12:22I bought out in the countryside when I
12:25was a terrible decision it took me away
12:28from my friends because it was an hour
12:29and a half outside of the city yeah and
12:31none of my friends ever came to it so I
12:33was just arriving at midnight after work
12:34in this mansion with this Tennis
12:36Court by myself sleeping for three hours
12:38and then driving another hour and a half
12:40back to the city where all my friends
12:41and work were I go that was a stupid
12:43 decision based on extrinsic
12:45external you know motivations it's a
12:48great question and you know
12:51particularly in America we love this
12:53idea of ownership we are taught you've
12:56got to own owning a house is the best
12:58investment it means you are successful
13:01and if you're renting
13:03no one really says this but what they
13:05deep down say is you're a loser yeah
13:08this individualistic strain really runs
13:11deep and it has led a lot of people to
13:14make poor financial decisions uh first
13:17of all you might be surprised to hear my
13:20view is that owning can be a good
13:22financial decision but it also can be a
13:25very bad financial decision in fact I
13:27rent by choice and living in New York
13:30for example I lived here for a long time
13:35that if I were to buy I would be losing
13:39thousands of dollars every single month
13:41because it actually cost more than twice
13:45as much to own than to rent
13:49but can you imagine the type of
13:51pressures even I got from people who
13:54would come over and say oh
13:56so do you own this place the place that
13:58I was renting I said no I rent
14:01and there was this visible moment of
14:04confusion they're shaking my hand they
14:06know that I'm the I will teach to be a
14:09but I rent how can you be teaching money
14:12but you rent isn't renting for losers
14:16and I have to say because I was Rock
14:18Solid confident in my decision
14:21that pressure did not affect me
14:24but I want to also say that
14:26a lot of us buy things based on status
14:29like the idea that we don't buy things
14:31based on what people around us think is
14:33is nonsense we buy things based on
14:36status to deny it is absurd
14:40but I do think that for the big
14:42purchases in your life like a house a
14:47you've got to run the numbers
14:49and if you decide hey you know what I
14:51want to buy a house even though it's
14:52going to cost me an extra six hundred
14:54thousand dollars in opportunity costs
14:55and Phantom costs but I'm gonna do it
14:58because I like it or it makes me feel
14:59good I say God bless
15:03if you simply make decisions based on
15:05what other people around you do then you
15:07will discover like you did
15:09I thought I was going to feel a certain
15:11way and I don't really feel that way and
15:15that for me is an opportunity for you to
15:17interrogate your own beliefs and money
15:20like a personal zerosome game right like
15:22so I can't just spend indefinitely so
15:24buying that ridiculous house out in the
15:28countryside takes away from something
15:31genuinely brought me closer to happiness
15:33like I don't know going with my family
15:35or whatever it might exactly you talk
15:37there about buying property I find that
15:38really curious because the the popular
15:40narrative is for most people the minute
15:42they get any decent amount of money is
15:44to buy your first house and that's what
15:45people do they get they take a 10
15:47deposit or 20 deposit whatever it might
15:48be and they buy a house
15:54why is that a bad thing to do because
15:56that does kind of sit counter to the
15:58popular narrative well we have to
15:59remember first of all where the popular
16:02in America if you ask people what is the
16:08yeah the answer is inextricably tied up
16:10with a single family home with a white
16:12picket fence that's not an accident that
16:15is the result of Decades of messaging
16:18some might call it propaganda
16:21first of all most people in the world do
16:23not live in single-family homes like we
16:25do in America that has caused a lot of
16:27issues but to leave that part aside
16:30this is how most people think about
16:32buying a house they think Grandma bought
16:35a house in Austin Texas in 1970 for a
16:39hundred thousand dollars grandma just
16:42sold it 50 years later for one million
16:45dollars grandma made 900
16:48000 they go it's the most profitable
16:50thing you could do buy a house
16:52I go okay that sounds really nice did
16:57how much she spent on maintenance for
16:59the past 50 years uh no uh did granny
17:03factor in inflation and how that
17:05affected her return uh no what's
17:06inflation uh did granny factor in the
17:09opportunity costs of what that down
17:11payment could have been used if invested
17:13in the S P 500 uh no and did granny look
17:16at all these Phantom costs such as
17:18interest on the loan uh no
17:22it's not simply the bigger number minus
17:25the smaller number that's wrong that is
17:29for the biggest purchase of your life
17:31you've got to go deeper again when I was
17:33living here I kept a very close eye on
17:36real estate and the place right right
17:39next to me same square footage same
17:42number of bedrooms same everything it
17:44would have cost 2.2 times what I was
17:47paying in rent so just to give you an
17:49example if I was paying three thousand
17:50dollars a month it would have cost about
17:52sixty four hundred dollars a month to
17:55okay I said you know what I like renting
17:58if I have a problem I just text my
17:59landlord I took the thirty four hundred
18:02dollars I would have spent owning when
18:04factoring in Phantom costs maintenance
18:06interest taxes all that and I simply
18:09invested it and I made more money doing
18:11that than I would have owning what about
18:14if you're buying somewhere to for the
18:17rental income that can work that can
18:19work so owning real estate as an
18:22investment can be part of a
18:24well-diversified portfolio if you run
18:26the numbers right now there's a lot of
18:29hype people go I'm gonna buy a house and
18:32if I don't like it or whatever I'm just
18:34going to rent it out okay fine but
18:37you've got to remember that if your
18:39mortgage is a thousand dollars
18:42that's not just the amount you're paying
18:45there's a lot more in fact in my
18:47estimations I add 50 to that price so
18:50fifteen hundred dollars a month which
18:52would include a roof repair happening 19
18:54years from now we've got to amortize
18:56that out uh labor costs interest all
19:00if you can rent it out and make a profit
19:04it cash flows that's awesome
19:07what you discover is that most people
19:09who buy a primary residence the place
19:11they want to live in they buy it because
19:13they want it and then they tell
19:16themselves it's an investment
19:18buying a house can be an investment but
19:22oftentimes it's not and they're far
19:24better far simpler Investments here's my
19:27key message I want to make sure nobody
19:29misunderstands me I've been accused of
19:30saying buying a house is bad no I never
19:33said that in fact I will buy a house
19:34myself one day and when I do it's going
19:37to be a terrible financial decision and
19:39I'm going to do it anyway
19:41my key message is for the biggest
19:42purchase of your life you've got to run
19:45the numbers sometimes buying can be a
19:47good financial decision often renting
19:50can be a good financial decision run the
19:52numbers and never feel guilty for
19:56as it relates to buying a house I've
19:57always been hesitant because I'm
20:01scared really of the point you mentioned
20:03about being anchored to a location so I
20:05the way that I've kind of Justified that
20:07away is by saying well I'll just Airbnb
20:09it when I'm not there or I'll rent it
20:10out when I if I decide to move to New
20:11York or whatever is there a a cost in
20:15the opportunity of being less flexible
20:18about where you can be
20:20um that people don't think about
20:22especially when they're younger yes and
20:24they're probably a little bit
20:25unencumbered by you know life yes at
20:28that point yes buying a house is one of
20:31the most profound financial decisions
20:33that will affect your lifestyle ever
20:37you can sell a car even at a minor loss
20:40but selling a house involves massive
20:42transaction costs and labor that most
20:44people don't anticipate
20:47one of the reasons that I rent is for
20:49lifestyle reasons Financial yes I make
20:52more money renting and investing the
20:54difference than I would owning but also
20:56lifestyle I don't know that I'm going to
20:58be in the same place for 10 years which
21:00is one of the key things that I would
21:02encourage people to decide before they
21:05buy you want to know that you're going
21:07to be there for at least 10 years
21:08because then you can spread all those
21:12spread them out over 10 years they
21:13become much more affordable it's kind of
21:15like buying an expensive jacket if you
21:18buy it and you wear it once that's
21:20really expensive if you buy it and wear
21:22it over 10 years it becomes a lot more
21:24affordable now take that multiply it by
21:26a thousand and that's a house
21:29particularly for young people
21:32I don't give a lot of unsolicited advice
21:34I used to do it when I was young when I
21:37just learned about money and I realized
21:39nobody really wants to hear it they
21:42if somebody comes to me they come to my
21:43blog my social media great otherwise I'm
21:46not going around telling people you
21:49once in a while though I get a young
21:51person asking me I'm just about to
21:53graduate from college what advice do you
21:57and at that moment the the best piece of
22:00advice that I have is move where the
22:04and typically that's a big city so that
22:06would be where there's more jobs where
22:10there's simply more people if you're
22:13looking for relationships and there's a
22:15lot of tacit knowledge that happens in
22:18like oh have you tried this oh what have
22:21you seen that musical uh have you tried
22:24this thing this idea that's going around
22:26so often surrounding yourself
22:28geographically can be hugely rewarding
22:31to you as you grow you can't do that if
22:33you bought a house because everybody
22:35told you that it was going to be the
22:36best investment and if I were to say
22:39show me where you calculated the numbers
22:40that it was going to be in a great
22:4375 plus percent of people have never
22:46created a simple spreadsheet how does
22:48buying a house compare in terms of
22:51returns to something like investing in
22:53the S P 500 it's quite poor actually
22:56really yeah over about a hundred years
22:58there's great research showing that it
23:00has essentially matched inflation it's
23:03been slightly above inflation people
23:05find this mind-boggling again because
23:07they think somebody bought a house for
23:09100k and they sold it for a million so
23:11it's 900k but they don't properly factor
23:14in inflation opportunity costs Phantom
23:16costs all that it's really hard to
23:18factor these numbers in but it's
23:20critical because it's the biggest
23:22purchase of your life I'll give you
23:24another example of where people don't
23:26properly Factor it in
23:28uh some people pay a financial advisor
23:31one percent they go one percent it's not
23:33a big deal I'll pay one percent
23:36what they don't realize is that that one
23:37percent over the course of their
23:39lifetime will take 28 of their returns
23:43and hand them over in fees
23:46think about it if you make a million
23:48dollars in investing over the course of
23:51000 are going right out of your pocket
23:53into that advisor's pocket now that's
23:56super counterintuitive one percent turns
23:59into Twenty Eight percent how does it
24:00work you can simply go online and search
24:03for uh investment cost calculator and
24:06plug in the numbers at a one percent fee
24:09point of this is that sometimes money is
24:12highly counterintuitive really
24:15counterintuitive it's unlike anything
24:16else if you and I go to sushi right now
24:20and we get sushi for 20 bucks it'll be
24:23fine if we get it for a hundred bucks
24:27what do you think probably be a little
24:28better right and if we get it for a
24:30thousand dollars the fish will have been
24:32flown in from Tokyo this morning and it
24:34will be served in an absolutely stunning
24:38so in other words you pay more you get
24:40better results we're used to that if I
24:43spend more on a sweater it's probably
24:44gonna have a different type of fabric
24:45more on a car it's going to look cooler
24:47have cooler features
24:49money's not like that if you spend more
24:53you don't get better returns you don't
24:56get better anything in fact if anything
24:58you get worse returns
25:01people find this mind-boggling because
25:03it is it's counterintuitive but in
25:05investing costs matter in buying a house
25:09you've got to run the numbers because
25:10they are totally counterintuitive
25:13quick one before we get back to this
25:14episode just give me 30 seconds of your
25:16two things I wanted to say the first
25:18thing is a huge thank you for listening
25:20and tuning into the show week after week
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25:53to continue to keep doing all of the
25:55things you love about the show
25:57thank you thank you so much back to
25:59episode so what is the S P 500 for
26:03anybody that doesn't know yeah and what
26:05are the returns that I'm likely to get
26:07from investing in the S P 500 I really
26:09want to simplify this for people that
26:10are at the very start of their investing
26:12Journey you know because I mean this is
26:15what you spend so much of your time
26:16doing that I just think about my my team
26:18here instead of the Diary of a CEO
26:20there's about 30 people and we started
26:22talking about money one day and it was
26:24mind-blowing how nobody in my team's
26:27lives had ever had the conversation with
26:29them about investing we all think of
26:31investing as something that rich people
26:32after the age of 40 do once you have a
26:37um or if you don't have a million
26:39dollars then the only other way to
26:40invest we're taught is to buy a house
26:44driving me insane it's true though isn't
26:48and central part of my work is that you
26:51can live a rich life and that rich life
26:53can be richer and more vibrant and more
26:56personal than you ever imagined if you
26:59want to travel you can travel for longer
27:01than you ever thought you can travel for
27:03me at nicer hotels you can spend more
27:07time with your children with your loved
27:09ones whatever your rich life is you can
27:11do that but you've got to learn a few
27:14key basic things about investing and
27:17money so let me tell you what I would
27:19tell my family when they come to me and
27:21they go how should I start investing
27:23the simplest simplest way that I advise
27:27is I say get a Target date fund so let
27:29me explain what that is a Target date
27:32fund is One Fund just one
27:35and you pick it based on the year that
27:37you're going to retire
27:39so if you're going to retire in 2050
27:42if you're going to be 65 in 2050 you go
27:45and you find that one fund it's called a
27:48Vanguard 2065 fund or Fidelity 2065 or
27:52Schwab 2006. there's lots of brokers
27:55These funds it's One Fund all you do is
27:58put money into it that's it the fun like
28:01a pie chart is automatically Diversified
28:03so as you get older it gets more
28:06conservative because somebody who's 75
28:09years old should be investing
28:11differently than someone who's 25.
28:13One Fund all you have to do is set your
28:16money up to go into it every single
28:18month what is a fund a fund is a a set
28:23or a basket of stocks and maybe bonds so
28:27we've all heard of you know companies
28:29like Microsoft Google whatever
28:32a fund owns lots of these right and
28:35that's important because we've heard
28:37diversification like you should have
28:39Diversified your Investments okay well
28:41how do I do that you don't need to go
28:43and buy 20 stocks and then figure out
28:46how much of each to do that's too much
28:47work and honestly most people are not
28:50good at that even professionals
28:52you buy a fund which automatically owns
28:55lots of stocks like hundreds of them
28:58and over time all you the individual
29:01investor like me have to focus on is
29:04putting money into it automatically so a
29:07fund essentially I've got 100 pounds
29:08that I want to invest
29:10um I find a fund where do I find these
29:12funds you can go to Vanguard Schwab or
29:15Fidelity all those are great companies
29:16uh what you're looking for regardless of
29:19what country you're in is you're looking
29:20for a low-cost brokerage firm so but
29:24there's also apps and stuff that I can
29:25you can use apps I don't like a lot of
29:27the apps because they gamify you to try
29:30to invest right they want you clicking
29:33and trading I hate Traders trade you do
29:36not want to be a Trader Traders lose
29:38money investors treat investing like
29:42watching paint dry that's how sexy it is
29:45trust me I'm not getting my
29:46entertainment from investing I'm going
29:48out go watch a movie go watch Netflix
29:51but investing is boring and automatic
29:54that's how it should be I used a a
29:57company called hargreave lands down in
29:59the UK who have an app when I first
30:02um when I first started investing in
30:04funds they they had a very ugly app so I
30:06wasn't very compelled to use I think
30:07it's better now but I would use just do
30:09it on desktop which I do get your point
30:11because you don't want to you don't want
30:13to be gay you don't want to scream yeah
30:14all of that note I like uglies it should
30:17be ugly and you don't want it to be too
30:18accessible correct I don't want to be
30:20able to check it every day no look on my
30:22phone you will see no investing apps yes
30:24there should not be why do you need to
30:26log in and check it every day what's the
30:28point yeah in fact I log you know what
30:31most people should check it every three
30:33to six months and here's how you check
30:36it you log in on your desktop
30:38wow it's up wow it's down okay bye
30:42you're not tweaking anything it's like
30:44making Thanksgiving dinner once you've
30:46put the turkey in the oven
30:48just let it sit do not fiddle with it
30:52because you're only going to mess it up
30:53and in this case you're letting the
30:54turkey cook for decades and that fun so
30:57I've got 100 pounds I go on a website
31:00Vanguard Fidelity Schwab whatever they
31:02are I have no Alliance to any of them
31:04neither do I um there's various ones in
31:06the UK I actually do recommend Hargrave
31:07Lansdowne just because it's quite simple
31:08and I think investing in funds there's
31:10no fees there's no fee associated with
31:12the investment itself obviously they
31:13take you know they might take a
31:14percentage depending on which fund
31:16you're investing in I take my 100 pounds
31:18and investing in Hargreaves lands down
31:20you don't need there's no
31:22um minimum great from what I understand
31:24and there's no if you invest in a stock
31:27they charge 12 pounds per investment but
31:28if you invest in a fund it's free
31:30um I put my hundred pounds into a fund
31:32the fund is essentially taking one
31:33pounds one of those pounds and investing
31:36one pound into Facebook it's investing
31:37one pound into Google one pound into
31:39Shopify one pound into Spotify one pound
31:41into Nvidia or whatever it's doing that
31:44for me it's managing it for me it's
31:45making the decisions for me I just put
31:48every month whatever I can and I leave
31:51it yeah and let's go even deeper I love
31:54that we're getting into the nuts and
31:56bolts here because you know honestly
31:57most people they do not know how to
32:00invest literally what website do I go to
32:02and then what do I do
32:05the fund owns these different stocks and
32:09some will go up and some will go down
32:10and it's inconsequential to you all you
32:13need to know is you own this fund
32:16now that you've opened up an account and
32:18you've sent a hundred bucks or a
32:20thousand bucks great you've made one of
32:22the most important decisions of your
32:24life now there's just one more thing you
32:25have to do set up an automatic transfer
32:28so that every single month you have a
32:31certain amount of money going in
32:33now if you don't know how much money use
32:35my conscious spending plan guideline
32:37what did I say five to ten percent of
32:39take-home is a good guideline all right
32:42you should be able to do five percent
32:44trust me anyone who comes to me they go
32:47Remy there's no way must be nice I can't
32:49afford I go show me where you're
32:50spending your money I guarantee you I
32:52can find five percent to send in every
32:54month now you're not trying to send it
32:57in I don't try to brush my teeth in the
32:59morning it's a habit investing is even
33:02easier than brushing your teeth because
33:04you set it up automatically the
33:06investment fund will automatically draw
33:09from your checking account
33:11and it will pull in a hundred bucks 500
33:14bucks a thousand bucks whatever your
33:16and so you're not going to log in for
33:19three four five months you're going to
33:20log in a few months later you're gonna
33:23I didn't even realize
33:25that all this money is in here
33:28when you add that plus compounding over
33:31many years that is how real wealth is
33:33created so I don't want anyone to think
33:36that you have to be rich in order to
33:39start investing one of the ways you get
33:42rich is by investing I've got a friend
33:45that's currently actually in this
33:46building at the moment and I had this
33:48conversation with them about a year ago
33:51gave the advice that you've just given
33:52there and about two months later this
33:56individual who I shot name came to me
33:58and I said How's your you know your your
34:00Investments going in in that fund and
34:03they said oh yeah I had bills I had a
34:04credit card bill so I took it out oh
34:07yeah she treated like a checking account
34:09Investments for me are
34:12places to accumulate wealth I don't draw
34:15from it that's what a checking account
34:17is for so if what that is is there's two
34:20parts to what your friend is saying one
34:23um mentally she's thinking that this
34:26investment account is just money I can
34:28draw from if I need it so I would sort
34:30of gently change the way she thinks
34:32about it the second is I guarantee her
34:34account structure is a little
34:38um subpar so here's how I would set it
34:40up this is in chapter five uh it's all
34:43automation because trust me I don't want
34:45to spend time transferring money back
34:47and forth that's I don't spend any time
34:50you get paid your money goes into your
34:52checking account from your checking
34:54account it is automatically transferred
34:57to a savings account in fact I have sub
35:00savings accounts for vacation car down
35:05payment all that stuff so you have money
35:07set up for specific goals
35:09money is transferred to your investment
35:11it's transferred there I'm not going to
35:14touch that money I'm going to let it
35:15cook and then I have my guilt-free
35:17spending which is going out with friends
35:19whatever I love and my credit card bill
35:22is automatically paid off every single
35:25that's how you want to set it up it
35:27takes a couple of weeks to set
35:29everything up and then you never have to
35:31think about it again
35:33how can you prove to me that this is the
35:35way to make wealth what case studies
35:36have you got that investing in funds
35:38over a long period of time is the path
35:42to financial wealth because you know
35:44it's you said earlier about the paint
35:46drying thing the narrative that we see
35:48about how why people and how people get
35:50rich is you know they sell a company or
35:52they have a lottery win or maybe they
35:54buy some cryptocurrency and it goes up
35:56yeah that's what we hear that's what
35:58we're trying to emulate totally we prove
36:01to me that that's that this fun strategy
36:03is better well there's there's a couple
36:05things first off the research over more
36:07than 100 about a hundred years shows the
36:10returns of the stock market and the
36:13returns tend to be at least in America
36:15they tend to be around 11 percent
36:1910 to 11 and if you take out inflation
36:23you get about seven to eight percent per
36:26year now for anyone listening they go
36:28okay well what does that mean that
36:30number means nothing to me seven percent
36:33if you go right now and you Google
36:36investment calculator and you just plug
36:39in your age you plug in let's say 200
36:43300 bucks a month and you plug in seven
36:46percent return and you just watch how
36:50you will be shocked Jack give me my
36:53phone I'm gonna do it now
36:55okay so let's search for compound
36:57interest calculator and there's a really
36:59simple one this it's called money chimp
37:03okay I've got it all right
37:06all right so there's four numbers we
37:07need to fill out here let's take a look
37:09the first is current principle that
37:10means how much you've got in the bank
37:14five thousand dollars and I'm gonna
37:16start when I was 16 because if I'd saved
37:19my money when I was 16 and not spent
37:23recklessly I think I could have had that
37:25five thousand dollars when I was 16. um
37:27annual Edition what does that mean how
37:29much can you invest per year so for most
37:32people they think about on a monthly
37:33basis they might say 200 bucks a month
37:36which would be twenty four hundred
37:38dollars annual Edition
37:40okay so what do you want to say I'm
37:41gonna say can I say five thousand
37:43dollars yeah that's you know about 400
37:45bucks a month I think that's reasonable
37:47I often find that with people making uh
37:51median or slightly above median salary
37:53that they're hundreds of dollars a month
37:55of money that is unaccounted for that if
37:58properly made intentional could be
38:00invested so great five thousand a year
38:03all right obviously I could have once I
38:05got past a certain age I could have
38:06increased that though so we're going to
38:07talk about that okay hold on to that
38:08idea okay how many years this was you at
38:1120 this was me at 16. oh okay and how
38:14old are you today 30. okay so 14 years
38:17let's just do it until today and we'll
38:18see what happens okay all right 14 years
38:21and then it says interest rate so what
38:24should we assume for that is that eight
38:26percent yeah seven to eight I you I do
38:28seven just to be super conservative
38:30because I never want to be surprised on
38:32the downside right if anything I'm going
38:35to make more so seven percent all right
38:38okay what do you see
38:44133 000 537. yeah that's what you would
38:48have had right now now let's add some
38:50context so this is really important you
38:53see a number that says 133 000 at age
38:59is that a lot is that not hmm I don't
39:03let's break it down at that point you
39:05started with five thousand dollars and
39:07you invested five thousand dollars per
39:10we assumed no raises even though you
39:13obviously made more than you made at age
39:1516. we assumed you stopped investing at
39:18age 30 which is obviously ridiculous
39:22and you end up with six figures let's
39:26let's take it until 40.
39:31so instead of 14 years
39:33you invested for 24 years what do you
39:39336 000 it's getting better
39:42from just five thousand dollars a year
39:44it's not much it's fantastic again 400
39:46bucks or so a month is very modest
39:50remember people's income goes up
39:52typically in their 30s and 40s and if
39:55you already are investing a little bit
39:56automatically all you have to do is just
39:58tweak a number and it will take an extra
39:59couple hundred three four five hundred
40:01bucks let's do one more let's go to 34
40:03years just because I want to see what
40:05happens and then we're going to play
40:06with the other numbers
40:09investing from the age of 16 until I'm
40:15736 000 in my account yeah now I want to
40:19do the full the full thing I want to do
40:22a more realistic number here so instead
40:25of 50 we're gonna go
40:30that takes you to age 65. yeah okay and
40:33instead of five thousand dollars per
40:35year your income obviously went up from
40:38being 16 years old so I'm gonna pick a
40:41number out of thin air and and I'm gonna
40:44tell you how I picked it I'm going to
40:46say instead of five thousand dollars a
40:47year it's actually going to be
40:50thirty thousand dollars per year let me
40:52tell you why I picked that
40:55in your early years you don't have as
40:56much money but you were still investing
40:58a little bit which shows that you're
40:59dedicated as your income goes up
41:02you're going to start proportionally
41:04continuing to invest so at a certain
41:07point your income will be really high
41:08and that will bring that average up
41:11that's why I switched it to 30 000 per
41:13year I actually think this is quite
41:14modest but I'm gonna go ahead and do it
41:18so here we have someone starting
41:20investing at five thousand dollars they
41:22invest thirty thousand dollars per year
41:26okay they grow it for 49 years at seven
41:30do you know the math
41:3412 million three hundred and three
41:39so that's me starting with 5K gradually
41:42ratcheting it up until I'm investing
41:44well investing 30k on year a year per
41:47average across those 49 years yes which
41:49is a flaw in this because it's so simple
41:52that money invested you are not actually
41:54going to invest that much early on
41:55you'll invest more later yeah so you
41:57won't actually you'll maybe have a
41:59marginal amount less but we're talking
42:0110 versus 12 million that's a lot of
42:05and then if I got eight percent instead
42:08of the seven percent I'd have 17.4
42:10million yeah but don't mess with that
42:12because this is what people do they go
42:14well if I got 13 I'm gonna invest in
42:16this PE fund I go don't do that you're
42:18gonna lose all your money just stop yeah
42:19seven percent is safe it's conservative
42:22that's why I am here that's why I want
42:24to encourage people you don't need to
42:26juice your returns I hope you do get
42:29eight percent but I don't want you to
42:30count on that I want you to count on
42:33safe stable returns and what matters for
42:36you is the time you started early and
42:39the amount you have a considerable
42:43what about the richest people in the
42:45world you know we think of the Warren
42:47buffetts of the world or the Charlie
42:48mongers of the world who ended up
42:50becoming the richest investors on planet
42:52Earth yeah what was their strategy I'll
42:54tell you let's talk about Warren Buffett
42:56uh there's a friend of mine Morgan
42:57housel he wrote this amazing artist I
42:59love that book yeah the psychology money
43:01he wrote this amazing article about
43:03Warren Buffett if you look at Warren
43:08he started investing at a very young age
43:11and the money compounded again it's like
43:13putting the turkey in the oven and
43:15letting it sit there not just for an
43:17hour but many hours in his case 60 plus
43:22he has made over 90 I think over 99
43:25percent of his wealth happened over the
43:30okay think about that it's all because
43:33he started investing so far ago and what
43:36is mind-boggling is that you don't need
43:39a fancy strategy you don't need to be
43:41picking individual stocks you don't even
43:44to make a lot of money you do not have
43:46to be the smartest person in the room
43:48you just need to remember a few key
43:50things start as early as possible
43:53okay and if you're not 16 years old if
43:57you're 30 40 even 45 okay start now
44:00second invest aggressively every single
44:03month that's critical third keep your
44:06costs low one percent in fees is going
44:09to take 28 of your returns two percent
44:11is going to take over 55 of your returns
44:16if you do those things you will have
44:19more money than you ever imagined what
44:22are the attributes of someone that's
44:23probably going to be poor in 30 years in
44:25terms of that relationship and their
44:27behavior with their money they're easy
44:28they don't invest they feel overwhelmed
44:31and anxious about money and they talk
44:33about it all the time but they've never
44:36read a single book about money
44:39and there's these deeper attributes they
44:42have only rich people invest they think
44:45that yeah and that's why I'm here I want
44:48Everyday People to know just like me I
44:52started off my parents immigrated from
44:54India I had no special uh
44:57investment knowledge but I had two
45:00parents who were educated and encouraged
45:02me and said learn this stuff here we'll
45:04do it together and that was a gift
45:07everyday people can build tremendous
45:10wealth which in and of itself is
45:13impressive but it's even more impressive
45:15when that wealth is used to live a rich
45:17life a rich life of adventure and
45:19spontaneity and generosity some of the
45:21stats I pulled out from your book about
45:2225 percent of people who make a hundred
45:25thousand dollars a year plus a still
45:27living paycheck to paycheck
45:30according to a recent survey of
45:32millionaires done by the U.S trust 83
45:35percent of the wealthy wealthy say their
45:37largest investment gains have come from
45:39small wins over time rather than taking
45:42big risks yes this is counter to
45:45everything we see on TV because on TV
45:47it's really boring what are you going to
45:49look at my Vanguard account oh wow
45:51compounding seven percent per year it
45:53went down eight percent last year and it
45:54went up nine percent this year so boring
45:57so we see these cool stories of business
46:00owners and we're both business owners it
46:03is cool but a tremendous amount of my
46:06own wealth will come from low cost
46:09long-term methodical investing that's
46:12like a rule of life isn't it that the
46:14the real returns you know in reality the
46:17great Returns come from patience and
46:20consistency and things that really
46:22aren't sexy like they're not
46:24instagramable if I post on my Instagram
46:25today hey I've got some advice for you
46:27guys to become wealthy and I go I need
46:29to invest in this fun then just leave it
46:31there but if I go listen I've got this
46:32new NF this new nft collection or
46:34cryptocurrency coin that's gonna make
46:36you a million percent this year
46:38people are going to go all in that's
46:39just like something within the human
46:41condition where we want we want
46:43big returns with little effort and today
46:47we want to get rich quick same with a
46:49six-pack we want the six-pack abs in 10
46:51minutes we don't want six pack abs with
46:53diet restrictions and nine months of
46:56work that's not and that is why I have a
46:58lot of compassion for helping people
47:01unlearn some of the messages about money
47:03because we all have them uh we all have
47:05the equivalent of I want six-pack abs
47:08but we also have something in life that
47:10we've spent time to get really good at
47:12and we know that the secret is basically
47:15consistency if I go ask someone who's an
47:19hey I want to cook like you how do I do
47:21it what are they going to give me some
47:22use cinnamon no they're gonna say get in
47:25the kitchen and cook every single day
47:26for five years and you're gonna learn
47:28about when to use salt and when to cook
47:31it for longer Fitness you want to ask
47:32someone who looks really good or or
47:34feels really good about their body
47:36they're going to give you some secret
47:37workout no they're gonna say I show up
47:40when I feel good I show up when I don't
47:43I show up when you let's think about the
47:46people that might be listening now so
47:47there's going to be someone that is a
47:48they're a they're a bus driver or they
47:51are a social media manager they are a I
47:54know cleaner they're a teacher they are
47:59if you were if your job was to make that
48:02person a millionaire in 20 years from
48:05now whatever your age they are right now
48:08what is and you were there financial
48:11advisor in fact you were controlling all
48:13of their personal professional decisions
48:16talk me through what you would do with
48:18that individual at a very detailed level
48:20I would do a few things number one that
48:23the most important things I would do
48:24would be set up automatic investing and
48:27be aggressive about it two they have to
48:29increase their income okay I'm gonna be
48:31that person I'm gonna embody that person
48:32like I just described so increase my
48:34income I'm a personal trainer perfect
48:36okay so so what should I do all right
48:38you're a personal trainer so first off I
48:40would say how much are you charging how
48:42are you finding your clients we talk
48:43about that and let's say you're charging
48:46100 bucks an hour and you have clients
48:48who say how long do they stay on average
48:49uh that's exactly what I'm changing
48:53they stay longer than two months I'm
48:56how long do they stay three months three
48:58months wow okay you're very good all
49:00right so your average client is worth
49:04a few thousand bucks yeah great so
49:06you're making let's say 60 70 000 a year
49:12uh the first thing after I understand
49:14all this information I would say all
49:16right we're going to double your income
49:18how are we going to do that
49:20the first answer everyone gives is I've
49:22got to find more clients okay you should
49:24you should ask your clients hey I've got
49:25a few slots available who would you
49:27recommend so you should get more clients
49:30second you're going to listen to your
49:31clients and you're going to say what
49:33else are you looking for I know you've
49:35got your fitness journey you're going on
49:36they're going to tell you I've got a
49:3810-year reunion I want to plan for that
49:41uh another person is going to say gosh I
49:44I know I should be eating healthier but
49:46it's really hard for me so you're
49:48thinking about it here's what you do
49:50you create you package up meal planning
49:54Services you can either do their macros
49:58for them and charge them a little bit
49:59extra let's say an extra 200 bucks a
50:02week or 200 bucks a month you can also
50:05partner with a food delivery service and
50:08you coordinate with that company to feed
50:10over their macros and it gets delivered
50:12to them and you take a small cut right
50:13there you've added thousands and
50:15thousands of dollars per year
50:18per client as long as they stick with
50:19you in addition to that you can do group
50:23sessions so you go hey I'm going to do a
50:26weekend session I'd like for you to
50:28invite your friends invite them for free
50:31and of course of the people who come
50:32let's say you get 15 20 people to come
50:34you do a free little session on Saturday
50:35you go I'm a trainer I work in SoHo I
50:39have three open slots that's how you're
50:42finding new clients now so you're doing
50:43two things you're finding new clients
50:45you're increasing your average lifetime
50:48value per client okay that's the that's
50:51two things now let's do one last thing
50:52let's increase the duration that they
50:55stick with you they're sticking with you
50:57for three months give them a special
50:58offer to stay with you for six months
51:00so when they sign up they work out with
51:02you for a month you say look it's a
51:03hundred bucks right now if you stick
51:05with me for a six month plan I will give
51:07you my sessions at ninety five dollars
51:10per plan you'll save x five percent
51:13one two three you've increased and if we
51:16you may have doubled your Revenue you
51:18certainly boosted your profit in a huge
51:20way all of a lot of that's about making
51:22sure you're getting a better return per
51:24hour you spend at work but also making
51:26sure all of those hours are full then
51:28doubling down and making sure each hour
51:30because that's your your currency when
51:31you're a personal trainer you're trading
51:33in your time I need to make the most
51:35from every hour I spend
51:37um I've thought about something recently
51:38as I've been writing my new book The
51:40Diary of a CEO um which I've written
51:42these 33 laws for building and becoming
51:45great essentially it goes across
51:46marketing and business whatever and one
51:47of the chapters that I investigate is
51:49this idea of making sure your skills are
51:52on the right market so my company went
51:55public and one of the things that I I
51:58came to learn from sitting with
51:59investment bankers for many many years
52:00was that if you put a company the exact
52:03same company let's just say it's you
52:06the company that make these silver mugs
52:08in front of me if I take this company
52:10public on the London Stock Exchange I
52:12might get for example four times Revenue
52:14if I take the exact same company and I
52:17list it on the New York Stock Exchange
52:19it will be valued at eight times Revenue
52:22yeah it's the exact same company exact
52:24same people exact same business just
52:25moving it to a different market and what
52:27upon leaving the social media marketing
52:30world when I was 27 years old one of the
52:33first calls I got was from a biotech
52:36company ran by a billionaire friend of
52:37mine that was going public
52:39and they brought me in and on the first
52:41week when we were discussing what they
52:43might pay me I'm thinking they can't
52:45really pay me in cash because I've got
52:46enough cash I don't really need that
52:47they can maybe give me some stock
52:49they're offer to me for my skill set
52:52was eight million dollars roughly eight
52:54million dollars in options that I would
52:57earn in nine months from taking the
52:59company from where it was building out
53:00the marketing team handling their
53:02storytelling and taking the company
53:03public which we did at about 3.2 billion
53:06their offer was eight million dollars in
53:09options I reflect on that and go I'd
53:11spent the previous 10 years using the
53:13same skill set to sell consumer goods
53:16like dresses and iPhones for apple and
53:18Logitech and big fashion brands yeah I
53:20took the same skill set and applied it
53:23to a marketing industry where it was
53:25rare biotech people know nothing about
53:27Reddit and Twitter and Facebook and
53:29social media so my skill set was rare
53:31scarce in that market so it was
53:33incredibly valuable and I think about
53:35this a lot with with especially as this
53:39I think people should be looking at
53:40their skill sets and going where is my
53:42skill set as a writer gonna yield the
53:44greatest returns I could be a social
53:46media manager I could be a uh a Blog
53:51I could add a little boat string to my
53:53bow and become a a scientific writer or
53:57like work a writer in biotech and you'll
53:59get paid if you can add that little bit
54:01of knowledge to your to your writing
54:02skills you'll get paid I'm gonna say
54:05five times potentially five times more
54:07yeah and people don't think about the
54:10fact that they're they they need to use
54:12Place their skill sets in the most
54:13lucrative Market where it's scarce yeah
54:16and I it's so yeah just throwing that
54:19out there because it's really front of
54:20mind for me at the moment like retaining
54:22you know like personal should be at a
54:23gym and you'll lose 75 of your income to
54:26the gym or you can do it virtually you
54:32um just preparing people in in the
54:35beginning of the year it's like your
54:36best year and every January that is your
54:39focus it can be celebrity clients it can
54:44um mid-career Executives that's a very
54:47lucrative you choose but you choose
54:49carefully I agree that's a bit of an
54:51advanced concept I think most people
54:53they start off they go just how do I
54:55make more money I'm a trainer I have
54:57three hours but once you kind of Master
55:00that and you go like for example there's
55:01a trainer I know here who charges 175
55:03bucks an hour that's very good
55:06after you get that and you fill up your
55:08entire calendar you go okay I'm making
55:11000 a year I want to make more how do I
55:14do it now you need to get creative you
55:16move to different markets you add in
55:18package things that scale when you sleep
55:20you have video courses Etc there's so
55:22many different ways but I think everyone
55:24would do well to listen to what you're
55:26saying which is think about how to move
55:27up Market or potentially to a totally
55:29different Market well your skill set is
55:31really scarce yeah and that's the
55:33problem a lot of people have there's you
55:35know their skill set might be too
55:37abundant in the industry like social
55:39media managers even social media
55:41managers is one thing but that's a
55:42slightly different skill set because
55:43there's there's a wealth of knowledge
55:45there that is unique to that knowing the
55:46algorithms knowing the platforms there's
55:48a real creative element to it but I
55:50think about my friend Anthony he was he
55:53was a graphic designer the greatest
55:55graphic designer I ever knew in
55:56Manchester but he was designing
55:58nightclub flyers and he's talked about
56:00this publicly before for not every
56:02nightclub fly he designed he got fifty
56:04dollars the equivalent 50 to 100 right I
56:07had a conversation with him a couple of
56:08years ago about this and I said you're
56:11you you're really specifically good at
56:13like luxury design he's got that really
56:16like beautiful Chic simple but you know
56:19elegant design style I always go to him
56:21whenever I only design work like that so
56:28and and go in there and help design
56:32um luxury Brands yeah and this guy did
56:35it so he went from Manchester where he
56:36was doing nightclub flies
56:38to moving to Dubai and without revealing
56:41his financial position what I can say is
56:46piece of work is now yielding him tens
56:49and tens more in returns you know
56:52instead of getting 500 he's getting
56:53fifty thousand dollars for for a project
56:56and it's just moving his skill set the
56:58same thing designing on the same
57:00software to a different industry which
57:02will appreciate and pay more for the
57:04the lesson I take away from that Beyond
57:09to actually make a change which is
57:12amazing is that most of us do not think
57:15in terms of discontinuous jumps we think
57:18okay I'm making I have a hundred bucks a
57:22what if I had 120 bucks a month well 20
57:25is like quite good that's amazing but
57:28what if I had 500 bucks a month or five
57:31thousand that's a discontinuous jump and
57:34to get those kind of numbers something
57:35big has to change in business
57:38moving markets developing a new skill
57:41partnering all those things but it's
57:43different in investing
57:47and that's where we're not attuned to it
57:49we go well you know I only have like a
57:51couple hundred bucks a month to invest
57:52that's nothing it's only going to turn
57:53into a few thousand you know you're not
57:56thinking about time because the human
57:58mind is not made for compounding so plug
58:01it into a calculator and you will be
58:03blown away same thing buying a house
58:05you're only thinking of how expensive
58:08your rent is which granted rents are
58:10very expensive but you're not actually
58:13factoring in how much time and money it
58:16costs to pay taxes and maintenance and
58:18interest on your loan you've got to get
58:21smart about running the numbers and when
58:23you start to sit back when you learn the
58:26basic language of money and you
58:28understand how you feel about money
58:30whether it be I like status or I like
58:33luxury or I don't really care about XYZ
58:37when you understand your own feelings
58:40suddenly you can almost look at the
58:42dispassionately you sit back you go okay
58:45I see what's going on here I even see
58:48how I am a player on The Game of Life
58:51when it comes to money
58:52and then you start to say the most
58:54powerful question of all what if
58:56what if I earned more what if I spent
59:00less what if I decided I actually love
59:04traveling two months a year or buying a
59:06house because I can decorate it the way
59:08I want what if what if what if and then
59:10you can start to make moves that line up
59:12with your rich life someone comes to you
59:14and they say what about crypto I get
59:16that question a lot oh God what about
59:18crypto should I be investing in that my
59:20friends told me about this new coin and
59:22I'm thinking of putting a couple of
59:24thousand Pounds into it I get this all
59:26the time should I invest in that coin
59:28that my friend told me about
59:30so I get this question a lot I I got it
59:32a lot a few years ago yeah let me tell
59:34you what happened you know people read
59:36the book they know that I'm a fan of
59:37low-cost long-term investing and then
59:39all these crypto nuts grow up and well
59:42they grow up to be you know 19 years old
59:45and they go oh ramit seiti such an old
59:48guy such a Luddite he doesn't understand
59:49investing this is the new future Fiat is
59:55um I have a couple of questions for you
59:57number one what is the rest of your
01:00:03crypto I go oh God okay
01:00:07do you think that it's normal to get uh
01:00:10four thousand percent return per year
01:00:13when over about a hundred years the
01:00:16stock market has returned approximately
01:00:17seven percent per year they go yeah
01:00:19that's because Fiat is dead you idiot
01:00:21it's gonna be we're going to the Moon I
01:00:24go you're going bankrupt and many of
01:00:26them did lose a tremendous amount of
01:00:28money my view on crypto is if you have a
01:00:32well-diversified portfolio well
01:00:35Diversified and you want to have a
01:00:37little bit of fun with one two even five
01:00:41percent of your portfolio go ahead
01:00:44and that could be crypto it could be an
01:00:46individual stock it could be investing
01:00:47in your friend's bar in Brooklyn could
01:00:49be whatever you want
01:00:51but you got to limit your risk and what
01:00:53you find is that the type of people who
01:00:55tended to be attracted to crypto tended
01:00:58to be extremely risk seeking and in fact
01:01:02they saw diversification and risk
01:01:05management as boring for old people
01:01:10this game is a marathon you want to live
01:01:13a rich life you want to be living it for
01:01:1560 70 years I'm not trying to get
01:01:19ten thousand percent returns and then
01:01:22and that's what happened to many of them
01:01:24I mean part of the problem here is that
01:01:26when we do get our 10 000 returns ten
01:01:28thousand percent return moment yeah we
01:01:30think it's going to be 10 million
01:01:31percent if we just but we also go tell
01:01:33everybody oh of course you never hear
01:01:35anyone saying let me tell you something
01:01:36thank you for saying that I went on
01:01:38Twitter because uh you know I mess
01:01:40around with these crypto guys a lot on
01:01:42Twitter I have a great time doing it I
01:01:44go hey where'd all the crypto Bros go
01:01:46everyone seems to have disappeared in
01:01:482023 where'd you guys go and there's
01:01:50just like crickets we're in 2020 they
01:01:53were really coming out you know guns
01:01:54blazing I said if you have lost a lot of
01:01:59money from crypto send me an email I
01:02:02want to share your story I'll keep you
01:02:04I have a lot of people who follow me on
01:02:07I got less than three responses
01:02:11we love to share our successes we love
01:02:15it we do it with crypto we do it with
01:02:17buying a house and selling it for a
01:02:19profit we do it with business we do with
01:02:22but you almost never hear anyone saying
01:02:25oh my gosh I bought this uh I sold it
01:02:28for um one-fifth the price oh and by the
01:02:31way because of the transaction fees
01:02:32Associated I actually lost like 80 of my
01:02:35money you know or 85 of my money you
01:02:39it's deeply shameful for people to admit
01:02:41that they lost money it's the opposite
01:02:43of status isn't it yeah and we're not
01:02:44wired to seek the opposite of status
01:02:46exactly why to voluntarily bring
01:02:49ourselves down in the tribe exactly we
01:02:52are safety seeking we are status seeking
01:02:55and so this is what happens with money
01:02:57that's why I talk about prenups and why
01:02:59I talk about investing and mistakes and
01:03:02all of the above is that I want to shine
01:03:04a light and show people if you are only
01:03:06seeing the top of the iceberg all the
01:03:09successes of course you feel like you're
01:03:11behind of course you feel like everyone
01:03:12knows something you don't but it's
01:03:14complex some people make good decisions
01:03:18some make poor decisions we got to look
01:03:19at them all and then we will understand
01:03:21what's right for us
01:03:23so on my my position on crypto is um I
01:03:26believe in the underlying technology of
01:03:27the blockchain and I I'm I've been a big
01:03:29ethereum holder for a very very long
01:03:31time but it does represent less than
01:03:34five percent of my portfolio although I
01:03:35am a very big holder
01:03:38um in ethereum and I've held it for so
01:03:41long that although I'm at a I'm at a
01:03:44point of profit right now I'm well aware
01:03:49um into a huge you know into the red
01:03:51yeah irrespective of that it a has is
01:03:55inconsequential to any decisions almost
01:03:56like like my financial Financial
01:03:58portfolio at large and B because of that
01:04:01I have such a long-term time Horizon
01:04:03that I could hold it for 30 40 years and
01:04:06I've never flinched I don't check the
01:04:08price sometimes I just check my password
01:04:09works but I but but I'm not in I've
01:04:12never traded I have no interest in that
01:04:14ramits 10 Money Rules
01:04:18I just want to go through these 10 money
01:04:19rules because you mentioned prenups
01:04:21there and I was quite curious that
01:04:23number 10 in these rules is marrying the
01:04:25right person but let's start at number
01:04:28always have one year of emergency funds
01:04:31yeah so for me one year of emergency
01:04:33fund is conservative it's more
01:04:36conservative than most lets me sleep at
01:04:38night and I just keep the cash in a
01:04:41it's not under my pillow cash does not
01:04:44mean it's sitting under my bed please
01:04:45don't try to rob me it's cash in a
01:04:48savings account totally liquid and
01:04:50that's what it's for emergencies
01:04:52rule number two save ten percent invest
01:04:55twenty percent of gross annual income
01:04:57yeah this is all about the numbers that
01:04:59I shared and being more aggressive with
01:05:01them I know that paying myself first now
01:05:03turns into way more later so I invest
01:05:05aggressively rule three pay cash for
01:05:08large expenses like engagement rings or
01:05:10big holidays or weddings yeah this one
01:05:13is controversial because for the things
01:05:16that are important to me I don't want
01:05:19price to be the number one concern so
01:05:22I'd rather save up for it when I was in
01:05:24my 20s before I ever met my wife I knew
01:05:27one day I would get married and because
01:05:29I'm Indian I knew we would have a big
01:05:31wedding and I wanted it to be amazing so
01:05:33I started putting money aside every
01:05:35single month automatically I do the same
01:05:37thing for trips house
01:05:40Etc rule four never question spending
01:05:42money on books appetizers health or
01:05:44donating to a friend's charity
01:05:45fundraiser yeah so the books and the
01:05:47appetizers are a little weird I have
01:05:49something called ramit's book buying
01:05:51rule which means if you ever see a book
01:05:52book that you're even remotely
01:05:54interested in just buy it don't ask a
01:05:57question don't equivocate just get it
01:05:59because if you can learn one thing from
01:06:00that book it can transform your life
01:06:03appetizers when I was a kid we couldn't
01:06:05afford to eat appetizers so we would eat
01:06:07out every six to eight weeks if we had a
01:06:09coupon we'd usually go to a pizza place
01:06:12getting appetizers was inconceivable so
01:06:15now when I eat out to be able to see one
01:06:18or even two appetizers that look good I
01:06:20go yeah I'll take them both it feels
01:06:22incredibly rich and this is just an
01:06:25example of how our childhood sticks with
01:06:27us it feels awesome to be able to do
01:06:30that rule number five business class
01:06:32flights on flights over four hours long
01:06:34Yes again my money rules not for anyone
01:06:38when I used to when I was in my early
01:06:4020s I would get on a flight and I would
01:06:42actually in my head scoff as I was
01:06:45walking from the front of the plane to
01:06:47the back I feel like why would anyone
01:06:48spend four times the money paying for a
01:06:51first class ticket makes no sense we're
01:06:52all getting to the same place ha ha ha
01:06:55I wish instead of disparaging that I
01:06:58would have gotten curious and I wish I
01:07:01wow if somebody can afford to get those
01:07:04seats why would they I wonder what
01:07:06they're spending money on aren't we all
01:07:08getting to the same place and if I had
01:07:10gone from disparagement to curiosity
01:07:14I would have understood that some people
01:07:16have their office paying for it some
01:07:18people do it for health because they
01:07:21want to get there they want their back
01:07:23to feel good they maybe need to go to a
01:07:24meeting and some people just have enough
01:07:26money that they can do what they want
01:07:28and when I started to become more
01:07:30curious about money that opened up my
01:07:33eyes to be able to spend on certain
01:07:35things and spend extravagantly but also
01:07:37to realize wow maybe I try this certain
01:07:39type of food once cool I don't need to
01:07:42do it again so for me my money rule so
01:07:44that I don't have to decide every time I
01:07:46take a flight boom this is my guideline
01:07:49it's done it's written never have to
01:07:52think about it again
01:07:53rule six buy the best and keep it as
01:07:55long as possible yes I love this I think
01:07:57we all intuitively have this idea of
01:07:59quality over quantity but if you look in
01:08:01somebody's closet or you look at the
01:08:04things in their house there may be some
01:08:06incongruity so um for example my car is
01:08:1017 years old it's a good car so I mean
01:08:13for me it was a fine car I don't care it
01:08:16rides fine it's a four-door Honda Accord
01:08:18I told you very sensible long-term great
01:08:25buy the best keep it for a long time
01:08:27it's the same with clothes
01:08:29um those things matter to me I like that
01:08:31and so I'll buy something that might
01:08:33seem very expensive but I'll keep it for
01:08:35a long time good for the environment as
01:08:38rule seven no limit on spending on
01:08:40health or education yeah this this one
01:08:44um I learned when I was in my 20s and I
01:08:46started training and learning from
01:08:48personal trainers and nutritionists that
01:08:50I really loved it and I also realized
01:08:52that I needed help I needed great
01:08:54teachers and So eventually I just
01:08:57realized I'm gonna give myself unlimited
01:09:00spending on this same for education so
01:09:03I'm a teacher I teach different programs
01:09:05of course I'm a student as well I want
01:09:07to learn from great teachers from taking
01:09:10accounting classes here at Columbia to
01:09:12buying every conceivable book and
01:09:15digital program there is
01:09:16I've given myself the freedom to do that
01:09:19and all that came from I had a
01:09:22scholarship I had many scholarships that
01:09:23paid my way through college and one of
01:09:26the scholarships set up an account for
01:09:27me at the Stanford bookstore
01:09:30so when I walked in there I could get
01:09:31literally any book I wanted it was like
01:09:34uh Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
01:09:36for a guy like me to have unlimited
01:09:39it was like unbelievable and when I
01:09:43graduated from college I realized that
01:09:45would be going away
01:09:47and then I remember having this
01:09:49conversation with myself and saying
01:09:51how much would it really cost to
01:09:54recapture that feeling that feeling of
01:09:57being able to get anything I wanted see
01:09:59a book on the bookshelf I'll get it and
01:10:02the answer is really not that much so
01:10:04over time that then expanded to health
01:10:07and Education Health I find really
01:10:09compelling because
01:10:11it's clearly clearly the most important
01:10:14foundation of all of this it's clearly
01:10:16the most lucrative investment any of us
01:10:19um because everything we've described
01:10:20the rich life doesn't exist without that
01:10:22Foundation yeah so it's all good
01:10:24investing in your Vanguard but it
01:10:26doesn't matter at all if you're gonna
01:10:27die yeah if you ask people what's
01:10:29important to you they'll often give you
01:10:31the same answers they'll say
01:10:32relationships Health maybe travel career
01:10:35maybe yeah I go okay let's take a look
01:10:37at your spending show me where you spend
01:10:41it gets really quiet really fast now
01:10:44it's one thing to spend time on
01:10:46relationships and we should but we can
01:10:48also spend money to enrich those things
01:10:50it might be surprising your niece at a
01:10:53showing of Michael Jackson or it might
01:10:57be surprising your family by going home
01:11:00and visiting them there are lots of ways
01:11:01you can use money to enrich those
01:11:03experiences same for health
01:11:05it could be what you buy at the grocery
01:11:07store it could be training or a gym
01:11:09membership it could be whatever it is
01:11:10that's meaningful for you but if we
01:11:12claim something's important to us
01:11:14it sure better show up in our time and
01:11:18our spending rule number eight earn
01:11:19enough to work only with people you
01:11:21respect and like I love this one
01:11:24I decided long ago that I only want to
01:11:26work with people that I like and respect
01:11:28and so I earn enough money so that I can
01:11:33do that and to me who you surround
01:11:35yourself with matters profoundly ideas
01:11:38seep into your Consciousness values seep
01:11:42in if I'm around people who when I look
01:11:44at the calendar when I have a meeting
01:11:45with them I dread it I already know it's
01:11:48the beginning of the end most of us have
01:11:50to work with they're right like
01:11:51we yeah I say have to I shouldn't use
01:11:52that word I don't like saying have to
01:11:54but most of us spend most of our lives
01:11:56especially the early part of our Lives
01:12:00um we work with people that we may not
01:12:02particularly choose ourselves I think
01:12:08so yes I built a life where I could make
01:12:12that decision for myself I'm the CEO of
01:12:17I think what is important there is the
01:12:19intentionality behind it it's like even
01:12:21if I worked at a company I would be
01:12:24deciding on which Division I want to
01:12:26work in which boss I want to transfer
01:12:29under based on do I like and do I
01:12:33that's it the intention is there you
01:12:35again these are my rules not anybody
01:12:37else's but if this one strikes you then
01:12:40the way that I would interpret this is
01:12:42wow who in my life do I not like who do
01:12:45I not respect do I need to be around
01:12:48them maybe it's not work maybe it's the
01:12:50friend that I hang out with socially on
01:12:52Saturdays again we have a choice not on
01:12:55everything but in the things we do have
01:12:57a choice what a shame if we don't use it
01:12:59rule number nine prioritize time outside
01:13:02the spreadsheets yeah too many Nerds
01:13:05love a spreadsheet and they they go I
01:13:08gotta optimize cell b43 b43 never talk
01:13:11back to me I go uh all right look yes
01:13:14you need to know your numbers yes you
01:13:15should be automatically saving and
01:13:17investing all that yes do the conscious
01:13:18spending plan but at a certain point you
01:13:22the turkey is cooking you won you know
01:13:26your numbers Turn the Page get out of
01:13:29the spreadsheet a rich life is lived
01:13:31outside of the spreadsheet so on a
01:13:34personal level that means I spend less
01:13:35than one hour per month on my finances
01:13:37it all runs it's a machine it's a system
01:13:40I speak to my wife we talk once every
01:13:43couple of weeks about money
01:13:45besides that do not spend time tweaking
01:13:49because the rich life is lived having
01:13:52conversations like this seeing friends
01:13:55that's where I want to live not tweaking
01:13:58things endlessly for no marginal gain
01:14:04you mentioned your wife there marry the
01:14:06right person yeah maybe the most
01:14:07important one of all marriage is the
01:14:12most consequential
01:14:13financial and relational decision we
01:14:16ever make and people they're a little
01:14:19weirded out by this rule they go what
01:14:20does this have to do with money I go
01:14:21what do you mean the partner you choose
01:14:25will affect where you live what you
01:14:28spend on a day-to-day basis what type of
01:14:31house you buy if you do how often you
01:14:34travel the values if you have children
01:14:36that you pass down to kids
01:14:38of course it's important
01:14:40and so these are conversations that if
01:14:43you are starting to date it's great time
01:14:46there's natural moments in the dating
01:14:48process or even the relationship process
01:14:50where you can bring up money so it's
01:14:52like the first time you take a vacation
01:14:53together take a trip you go hey
01:14:56um just wanna you know this is on my
01:14:58mind I'd love to just like put it out on
01:14:59the table love that you invited me on
01:15:01this trip I'm so excited to go I'm just
01:15:04curious how were you thinking about
01:15:06paying for the trip who who in your mind
01:15:09pays for it how would you see us
01:15:12that's a great way to bring it up and
01:15:14you learn a lot about your partner there
01:15:17are questions you can naturally ask you
01:15:18know how were you raised with money what
01:15:20do you remember your parents telling you
01:15:21here's what I remember about my parents
01:15:24genuine curiosity it also tells you a
01:15:27lot about your partner
01:15:28and then there's a few other natural
01:15:29moments in a relationship where it just
01:15:31makes perfect sense to talk about money
01:15:33uh when you get engaged when you get
01:15:35married you uh if and when you move in
01:15:38together pre or post-marriage uh if and
01:15:40when you have children there are these
01:15:42natural moments where you get the gift
01:15:44of being able to talk about money do
01:15:46people talk about money
01:15:48couples they talk about it uh when
01:15:50something goes wrong
01:15:52outside of that what sort of percentage
01:15:54of people couples do you think talk
01:15:55about money rarely it's very low I know
01:15:58I speak to them all the time I ask them
01:16:00when do you talk about money they go
01:16:01when we're fighting or when they talk
01:16:03about it it's like
01:16:04it's these grooves that have been
01:16:06created for 40 years oh every time she
01:16:09goes to Target she spends too much ha ha
01:16:12and I'm like that's not that funny like
01:16:14the running joke between you is that she
01:16:17spends too much at Target sounds like
01:16:19resentment yeah why not it be
01:16:23something different so that when you
01:16:25talk about money once a month
01:16:27proactively you always start off
01:16:30complimenting your partner you go you
01:16:33I really appreciate that when we travel
01:16:35you always pick the best flights
01:16:39I I have total trust because you always
01:16:41get us there on time and you pick the
01:16:43flies that are so comfortable and I just
01:16:44love you for that
01:16:46that's a great way to reframe how we
01:16:48talk about money but instead we often
01:16:51simply do not talk about it proactively
01:16:53we only talk about it when something is
01:16:55a problem do you think how Partners
01:16:57should know how much money we have
01:16:59when you're married
01:17:00probably a little before that as well
01:17:03like I'll tell you what happened with my
01:17:06so in my book in chapter nine I talk
01:17:08about how to talk about money and when
01:17:10to talk about money
01:17:11and first of all there's a lot of
01:17:13personal finance experts they're like
01:17:15you should talk about money on date one
01:17:16I'm like have you guys ever been on a
01:17:17first date can you imagine who's talking
01:17:19about their asset allocation on the
01:17:21first date I'm like get a life so she
01:17:24had um asked me like years into our
01:17:27relationship some 401K question and I
01:17:30was like read this book learn it it's in
01:17:32there so I knew all about her money we
01:17:35had talked about her finances and then
01:17:37as we started getting more serious one
01:17:38day she came to me and she said
01:17:41I don't feel comfortable because you
01:17:42know everything about my finances and I
01:17:44don't know anything about yours
01:17:48a sobering moment because I realized I
01:17:50had violated my own rules in chapter 9
01:17:53of talking about money early and
01:17:56proactively why didn't you feel
01:17:58she didn't feel comfortable because she
01:18:00felt like I knew everything and she
01:18:02didn't know anything about me being in
01:18:04the dark about your partner and their
01:18:06finances is very uncomfortable
01:18:09we were planning to get married so what
01:18:12does that mean does he have debt does he
01:18:14not does he have this much money or not
01:18:16does he expect me to pay the exact same
01:18:19amount for this apartment because I
01:18:21don't know if I can afford that there
01:18:23are what does it mean for children what
01:18:25does it mean for our elderly parents all
01:18:28this is what money means money is not
01:18:30just a amount in a spreadsheet it's
01:18:33where do we live security security who
01:18:37and you know security is a really good
01:18:40that word haunts me because uh we we I
01:18:44realized to my horror that I had not
01:18:46shared about my finances so we had a
01:18:49series of conversations
01:18:51and as we got engaged
01:18:55um we had more we started talking about
01:18:57money a lot and I mentioned to my now
01:19:01wife I said it's really important for me
01:19:03that by virtue of me running a business
01:19:06for so long I've accumulated this
01:19:08business these assets and I love you but
01:19:10it's important for me that we talk about
01:19:13and I was very very scared I had talked
01:19:17to a lot of friends and I'm sharing this
01:19:19because prenups are another thing that
01:19:22always happen in the dark
01:19:24and I don't want that I want people to
01:19:26shine a light and to understand how
01:19:28these conversations happen because
01:19:29nobody talks about this I'm going to
01:19:33so I was nervous and all the advice
01:19:35online is awful it's like um have the
01:19:38conversation I'm like what conversation
01:19:40what do I say or some people they tell
01:19:42you to blame your lawyer my lawyer
01:19:44insisted I have a prenup I'm like if I
01:19:46can't be honest to my soon-to-be wife
01:19:48what kind of relationship do we have so
01:19:51that's what I said to her and she
01:19:53responded like awesome she was like wow
01:19:57I didn't expect that I don't know much
01:19:59about prenups but I'd be willing to
01:20:01learn more I said fantastic so we start
01:20:04talking more about it we both get
01:20:06lawyers as you're both required to
01:20:09it was going pretty well
01:20:12it didn't and we started really
01:20:15disagreeing about money
01:20:17and we were we're just like fighting and
01:20:22she finally said we should go see
01:20:25somebody because this conversation is
01:20:28not going the right direction
01:20:30and and I totally agreed with her so we
01:20:32literally went on Yelp and we searched
01:20:35like therapists near us and we found one
01:20:38right there we went
01:20:39and we sit down and this therapist was
01:20:41great she asked us what does money mean
01:20:45to you and she asked me first
01:20:48it's so obvious money means growth like
01:20:50I could literally see the compound
01:20:52interest charts in front of my eyes I
01:20:54know about the rule of 72 and expense
01:21:01she has the same question to my wife
01:21:09what that's like somebody's saying
01:21:12metal money means metal to me I go huh
01:21:16and it was that that we realized
01:21:19we saw money completely differently
01:21:21completely it explained to me why my
01:21:25wife wanted more money in just sitting
01:21:27in a checking account
01:21:29when I go but that checking account is
01:21:31losing potential interest why would we
01:21:33lower our yield blah blah blah we were
01:21:35looking at it through two totally
01:21:39so that single question was very helpful
01:21:41in us reframing our conversations it
01:21:44didn't change everything overnight we
01:21:45still had a lot of conversations we had
01:21:47to have and even once we got married we
01:21:50still have conversations now they're
01:21:52different they're about spending and
01:21:54investing and prioritizing but it was a
01:21:59new way for us to look at the way we
01:22:00related to money where did her lens come
01:22:04childhood like most of ours same for me
01:22:06in fact every time I talk to couples who
01:22:10are now in the seat that I was in
01:22:13I asked them what do you remember about
01:22:15growing up with money and they always
01:22:17tell me similar things uh my parents
01:22:19never talked about money that's very
01:22:21common or they said certain phrases like
01:22:24we can't afford it money doesn't grow on
01:22:26trees we don't talk about money in this
01:22:30imagine you hear we can't afford it a
01:22:33hundred times a thousand ten thousand
01:22:38and you turn 25 35 you start to make
01:22:42but every time you go to buy something
01:22:45you feel guilty and you feel anxious and
01:22:47you feel like I should be saving this
01:22:49money and you can't figure out why
01:22:51because on paper you make more money
01:22:54if you came to me on my podcast we would
01:22:56trace it back and you might realize it
01:22:58is something as simple and Vivid as
01:23:00sitting around the dinner table and
01:23:01hearing mom or dad saying we can't
01:23:04afford it our childhood sticks with us
01:23:08and we could change but it's so
01:23:10important for us to acknowledge that it
01:23:13if I approach my partner and I say I
01:23:15want to get a prenup and they say what
01:23:17you don't trust me yeah and they say no
01:23:22uh what do you do is that the question
01:23:24well I would say first of all I wouldn't
01:23:26start off like that I think there's
01:23:29that is one of the most important
01:23:31conversations you're ever going to have
01:23:32in your life and the subsequent
01:23:34conversations so take it seriously you
01:23:37show up and you explain it I explain it
01:23:40perfectly and they'll turn around and
01:23:41say that and they say no
01:23:43they say you don't trust me uh no okay
01:23:46that's a contingency you might have to
01:23:48plan for so you might say okay can you
01:23:51tell me what's going through your head I
01:23:52want to understand your perspective
01:23:56this is a conversation it's not a
01:23:58dictate trust you don't trust me yeah
01:24:02would you marry that person
01:24:04I would have a lot more conversations I
01:24:06can't say yes or no because you can't
01:24:09judge someone based on their reaction in
01:24:12a situation they've never been in how am
01:24:14I going to react if I got in a car
01:24:16accident and I start crying can you
01:24:18judge me my entire life based on that no
01:24:21but let's say that we extend it and and
01:24:23you and I are in a relationship and I
01:24:25ask you I it's important for me by
01:24:28virtue of this and that
01:24:29and you go I don't you don't trust me if
01:24:33you are unwilling
01:24:35to even discuss it
01:24:37if you're unwilling to talk to friends
01:24:40to talk to lawyers to talk to people you
01:24:43can find on your own or I can introduce
01:24:45then I think we have a bigger
01:24:47disagreement about values and you know
01:24:49the way that most of us think about a
01:24:51prenup is it's usually some rich
01:24:53telling someone who has way less money
01:24:55like sign this paper or it's over and
01:24:57again that's Hollywood
01:24:59prenup which I learned
01:25:01is all about if the marriage ends
01:25:06what you had before or any agreed upon
01:25:10assets stay with that person so if you
01:25:13have a business and your partner and you
01:25:17get married there's no prenup and
01:25:19for whatever reason God forbid you
01:25:21separate suddenly that business might be
01:25:25at risk the portfolio that you
01:25:27accumulated before you ever met your
01:25:30might go to them and that when you
01:25:32explain it that way most people go oh
01:25:34that doesn't really seem fair but the
01:25:36money that you accumulate together
01:25:39as Mary Partners yeah there definitely
01:25:41should be an agreed upon that money
01:25:43needs to be split Etc and no person
01:25:46especially the partner who earns less
01:25:48should be left out in the cold ever do
01:25:51you notice any differences when you
01:25:53speak to these couples or on your
01:25:57gender differences as it relates to the
01:25:59people's relationship with money because
01:26:01I read a lot of stuff about men being
01:26:02more prone to gambling addiction and
01:26:04gambling generally yeah yeah I think
01:26:07there are a lot of differences I think
01:26:08gender is one of the axes that people
01:26:12um I see typically more aggressive
01:26:14investing from men I typically if I see
01:26:18a gender difference in investing
01:26:19differences it would be much more
01:26:21conservative with women I might see
01:26:24words like Safety and Security used more