00:04Reed J. Williams: I spent my early years
stealing my baby sister's clothes,
00:08teaching myself to braid hair
on confused babysitters
00:11and absolutely terrifying my mom and dad.
00:14Any dish towel or scarf
00:16within the limited reach
of my three-year-old grasp
00:19was quickly transformed
into a makeshift wig of long hair
00:22to be skillfully tossed over shoulder
with dramatic flair.
00:27My parents considered
taking me to see a psychologist,
00:30but finding a doctor
in rural South Carolina
00:33willing to even discuss gender
with a three-year-old boy
00:38My parents had to actively avoid
those who claimed to be able to fix me,
00:42as we had received numerous offers
00:43from local church leaders
and school teachers.
00:47For the most part, my parents
were completely on their own
00:50when it came to navigating
my gender non-conforming childhood.
00:56Lindsay Morris: I'm the mother of two sons
who we raised on Long Island.
01:01When our oldest son was three years old,
01:03he found his way
into the depths of my closet
01:07and re-emerged triumphantly
in a pair of dust-covered heels.
01:13His father and I continued
to watch this daily ritual
01:17where Milo would layer on
01:19and tear off the brightest garments
that he could find in my wardrobe.
01:26While his younger brother strived
to land objects in baskets,
01:31Milo, when taken to his first
soccer clinic, asked innocently,
01:36"Why would anyone want
to chase a ball around a field?"
01:43It was a simple but profound question,
01:47it definitely challenged gender
stereotypes that were familiar to me.
01:52And it was hard to disagree with him.
01:55But still, I kept his hair buzzed short
01:58and bought him more Matchbox cars
to join the dozens of others
02:03in his gem-encrusted suitcase.
02:07RJW: My mom found me hand-me-down clothes
from friends with older daughters
02:11that I was free to wear around the house.
02:15I was limited to a winter stocking cap
that I used to cover my short hair.
02:20I wore that hat constantly,
even when I slept,
02:22to the point where I began to develop
a bald spot on the side of my head.
02:26Thankfully, my dad made me
a baseball cap with a little piece of rope
02:30and a wooden bead tied to the end,
02:32meant to mimic the swinging motion
of a ponytail when I walked.
02:36This both alleviated my frustration
with short haircuts
02:39and prevented premature baldness.
02:42For which I'm eternally grateful.
02:45As I got older, I had to quickly adapt
to the unspoken rules of gender
02:50or face severe social fallout.
02:52I can never forget
the harsh glares from parents
02:55at the preschool Halloween parade,
02:57when I dared to show up wearing
a homemade unicorn costume.
03:01The teacher who told my mom,
"No one agrees with what you're doing,
03:05and you're going to hell
for how you raise your child."
03:09Before banning dress up
for the entire class
03:11because of what I chose to put on my body.
03:14The efforts to police my gender
03:16and somehow shape me
into a "normal boy" were constant,
03:20unavoidable and entirely ineffective.
03:25LM: It was almost Halloween,
03:27a grueling time of costume negotiations
03:31for the parents
of gender-creative children.
03:34At our local Target, Milo,
03:37with all the conviction
of a seasoned attorney,
03:40directed me to the shoe department,
03:43where we would yet again visit
the coveted ruby slippers.
03:52With each step, our anxieties grew,
03:56his mood mirroring
my uncertainty as I wavered.
04:00There were tears and a public tantrum
over those ruby slippers.
04:05And yet I denied him this simple wish,
04:09leaving him confused and deflated.
04:14What was I so afraid of?
04:16Was it the judgmental glances
of the other moms
04:20as my son paraded perfectly
in discount heels at play dates?
04:27Their expressions were very memorable.
04:30Or maybe it was the grim statistics
that were looming in the background.
04:36I was well aware of the rising
suicide rates of LGBTQ teens.
04:43Or perhaps it was a new territory.
04:47Navigating this expression of gender
that I had no vocabulary for.
04:55These denials left our son miserable.
05:00It was a low point for me
in my motherhood
05:03but also a turning point
for us as a family.
05:07We all agreed it was time to stop
overanalyzing gender norms:
05:13his toys, his clothing, his haircuts.
05:18And let Milo take the lead,
05:20embracing choices that rang true to him.
05:29RJW: My first psychologist introduced us
to a highly protected listserv
05:33where my mom discovered a support group
05:36looking to create in-person opportunities
05:38for families with gender non-conforming
kids to gather together.
05:43my mom packed her kids into a minivan
05:45and drove from Greenville,
South Carolina to Washington, DC,
05:48where we stayed in a small hotel
with four other families
05:51who allowed their sons to dress
and act however they wanted.
05:55This was the first summer of Camp I Am.
06:00At just four years old,
06:01I was too young to swim
in the deep end of the hotel pool
06:06but I relished in slumber parties
and fashion shows
06:09with kids who acted just like I did,
06:12if not more flamboyantly.
06:15For the first time in my life,
06:17I was free to wear a dress
in front of people
06:19who weren't my immediate family.
06:22I could paint my fingernails
06:23without having to remove
the polish an hour later.
06:27I remember feather boas
and friendship bracelets,
06:31American Girl dolls and makeovers,
06:33and a pillowcase signed with notes
of encouragement from all my new friends.
06:38I slept with that pillowcase
every single night
06:41after that first camp weekend ended.
06:46LM: "I think I'm the only one
like this," Milo said.
06:51Those words hit hard,
06:53but they also motivated me
to seek families like Reed's family
06:58facing similar circumstances.
07:01In 2008, in the early days
of the internet,
07:04I typed "my son loves pink"
into a search engine
07:10and found myself on the website
07:12of the Children's National
Medical Center in Washington, DC,
07:16where I would discover
a carefully vetted listserv
07:20where parents could discuss
the challenges and triumphs
07:25of raising gender-creative children.
07:29The day our family stepped
into the meet and greet room
07:34of the modest hotel in Washington, DC,
07:38we saw parents with a mix of hope
and relief on their faces.
07:44This is where I would also
meet Reed at age seven.
07:51Though her gender
had not yet been determined.
07:55There we took in a room
filled with little boys,
08:00most in hues of pink and purple,
08:04and almost all with American Girl
dolls dangling at their sides
08:08or clutched tightly to their chests.
08:12The eyes of parents welled up
as they entered this room.
08:15And I remember one father
with the baseball cap saying,
08:21I guess he's found his tribe."
08:26Up until this moment,
we had all felt so isolated.
08:33RJW: It wasn't until I was eight years old
08:35that I met an openly trans girl
08:37who refused to hide
who she was in front of others.
08:41She was the only other camper
from South Carolina,
08:43and she wore intricate lace tights
and the most gorgeous high heels
08:47I had ever seen in my entire life.
08:50She embodied Y2K vampy glam effortlessly,
08:54and I followed her around
like a lost puppy,
08:57marveling at her grace
and freedom to be herself.
09:02She let me try on her treasured
high heels for a day.
09:07I literally walked a mile in the shoes
of a trans girl for the first time.
09:13In 2015, over three years later,
09:16I finally told my parents that I'm a girl.
09:20At the time, everyone had a different
opinion on the correct path forward.
09:25One mother from Camp I Am told my mom
that her son had also come out as trans,
09:29but she had no responsibility
to pay for hormone blockers
09:32or navigate social
transition at their age.
09:36She advised my mom to wait until I was 18
09:38and I could make the decision for myself.
09:42My mom was horrified by the idea
09:45of leaving me to suffer
for six more years on my own.
09:50It was then that she knew
she could never inflict the hardship
09:53of continuing to be
misperceived as a boy on me.
09:58As terrifying as it felt for my parents
to consent to trans health care
10:04we knew that it promised
the best possible outcome.
10:08By this point, we had already
moved to Virginia,
10:11and we began taking monthly
four-hour road trips to Richmond
10:15for gender affirming therapy
10:16and, eventually,
endocrinology appointments.
10:20I socially transitioned that summer,
10:23and I haven't looked back since.
10:31I don't know if I would have reached
that happy conclusion
10:34without my time and the community
10:40LM: I became the de facto photographer
10:43of the closely-knit Camp I Am
community in 2009,
10:48capturing the kids' moments of freedom
10:51where they could run and twirl and sing
10:55and express their
interpretations of gender
10:59alongside their parents
and their siblings.
11:05the photos provided vibrant mementos
to reassure them throughout the year.
11:12It took a lot of courage in 2012,
11:15when camp parents and children agreed
to have their photographs published
11:20in the New York Times
Magazine cover story,
11:23"What's Wrong with a Boy
Who Wears a Dress?"
11:27I'll never forget the evening.
11:29The kids were standing
in front of the red barn,
11:32excitedly preparing
for the annual camp fashion show,
11:36and the parents stood behind
me and my tripod,
11:39mesmerized by their children's joy.
11:44"We need to show our kids to the world,"
11:49And one of the dads said,
"That would be terrifying.
11:53But perhaps if we shared
our normal with the public,
11:57it would open a dialogue
that was far overdue."
12:01RJW: When I look back at Lindsay’s
photos from Camp I Am,
12:05I see children who possess an intimate
understanding of who they are.
12:10That many could only hope
to someday experience.
12:14We were among the earliest
experts on queer youth,
12:18running wild in the woods with glitter
and flowers in our overgrown hair.
12:22The kids of Camp I Am
were some of the first
12:25to openly question
why we have to behave
12:27in accordance with our sex
assigned at birth?
12:30The first kids with parents
willing to fight for
12:33rather than suppress
our emerging identities.
12:37When I look at these images,
12:43A world where kids are encouraged
to express themselves
12:49Where parents are encouraged
to ask questions and seek support
12:53rather than compel their children
to embody arbitrary gender roles.
12:57LM: Although we parents
shared a common thread,
13:01our perspectives were diverse.
13:07Parents came from across the country
13:09with varying religious beliefs, political,
13:12socioeconomic backgrounds.
13:21a Mormon family was excommunicated.
13:25And some are uprooted,
13:26finding it simply impossible to live
in unsupportive communities.
13:33many of these young adults are advocating
for themselves and for their rights.
13:40Some transitioned seamlessly
thanks to a lot of courage,
13:44and also thanks to parents
who educated themselves,
13:47seeking out the most appropriate
care for their child,
13:52no matter where they landed
on the gender spectrum.
13:56And like Reed today, there are so many
success stories of the former campers.
14:02Not everyone followed the same track.
14:04Today, my son Milo identifies as a gay man
14:09living in New York City
14:11and studying fashion marketing
and advertising at FIT.
14:16RJW: Camp I Am was an oasis,
14:19a brief reprieve from the endless
harassment and judgment
14:22from strangers who claimed to know
what was in my best interest.
14:27Attending camp didn't make me trans.
14:30My parents did not make me trans.
14:34If anything, I never went out of my way
to be different or unordinary.
14:39I was just encouraged to be myself,
whatever that may look like.
14:44The early support that I received
14:45made it possible for me
to pursue a life worth living.
14:49Today, I’m a fourth-year
at the University of Virginia
14:53studying political and social thought
and poetry writing.
14:57I'm an advocate on behalf of trans youth.
15:00I've spent the past two summers
working as a camp counselor,
15:04helping to provide even more trans kids
15:06with that same fulfilling
summer camp experience
15:09that helped make me the person I am today.
15:13I can only hope that more parents
see from my story
15:17and the story of Camp I Am,
15:19the importance of protecting
and supporting
15:22trans and gender non-conforming children
15:25as my parents protected and supported me.
