00:04What's your ambition?
00:07Take a second, pause and think about it.
00:11What's an ambition that you have for
yourself?
00:14Whether it's to become
the next Blockchain investor.
00:18To launch that start up
you've always dreamed of, or
00:21to become the next secretary of defense.
00:25Whatever it might be,
00:26imagine how amazing you're going to
feel when you realize that ambition.
00:32Now, let's just say I arbitrarily
decide to draw a line down the room,
00:37include Jodie in the line on this side.
00:39I tell all of you on this
side of the room, but
00:42actually, just because I decided,
you don't get to realize your ambition,
00:48because you sat in that seat, you don't
get the opportunity to pursue your dreams.
00:54Imagine how much it would suck to have
your ambition taken away from you.
01:00This is what happens to
women all over the world.
01:04Let me walk you across the world for
a second, to a rural part of Kenya.
01:10It's a scorching hot day, and
I'm sitting under a shady tree, talking to
01:15a bunch of girls and asking them that same
question that I just asked all of you.
01:21What's your ambition?
01:23The girls respond, to be a doctor,
to be a lawyer, to be an astronaut.
01:30Just like you and me, these girls
imagine a bright future for themselves.
01:36Yet as my conversation
with them continues,
01:39I begin to realize that they're not
going to realize their ambition.
01:44That because of factors
beyond their control,
01:47they won't have the opportunity
to pursue their dreams.
01:51One of the girls, Dorothy,
who I got to know well during this time,
01:56tells me that every morning,
she wakes up at 4 AM before school.
02:00And she walks two hours to a well gets
water and carries it home for her family.
02:08After school, she's the one who's expected
to take care of her younger siblings, and
02:13cook dinner for the family.
02:16While Dorothy's brothers are studying,
her and
02:20millions of girls like around the world,
are expected to on household work.
02:28When money is tied parents sent a clear
signal by sending their sons to school but
02:34asking their daughters to stay home.
02:38And when girls do make
it to the classroom,
02:40they have to listen to their teachers make
comments like, don't do math like a girl.
02:47Girls are constantly told implicitly and
explicitly,
02:51that their ambitions are not as
important as their brothers.
02:58And what does this mean?
03:00This means that less than
15% of the girls that
03:04I met that summer will
graduate from high school.
03:09Their ambitions of being doctors,
lawyers, and astronauts will get crushed.
03:17And instead they'll get married young,
give birth to multiple children, and
03:23then they'll ask their daughters to stay
at home and help with household tasks.
03:29Their daughters will become
the next generation of women
03:33who have to carry the water.
03:38This is the heartbreaking reality of so
03:41many of the girls who I met in Muhuru Bay,
Kenya seven years ago.
03:48At that time, I was thinking what some
of you might be thinking right now.
03:53This is extremely sad, but
it's also kind of expected
03:59in a low income and
rural place like Muhuru Bay.
04:05I left the situation
feeling totally helpless,
04:09I wanted to make a difference but
didn't know how.
04:13Several years later I decided to apply to
Stanford's Graduate school of Business.
04:19When I got the infamous call
from Derek Bolton, I was elated
04:25I was so excited, and
I thought that such a well-resourced and
04:30elite place like the JSB, I would
find my answers to these questions.
04:36I also assumed that for the first time
in my life, I would be in an environment
04:41where women's ambition was not
only encouraged it was expected.
04:48However, I haven't always
found that to be the case.
04:53Let me take you to an override a couple of
months ago with a couple of classmates.
04:56Maybe some of you in the room we're riding
back home after a late night of BPL so
05:02another night at the patio.
05:04There's a female classmate and
two close guy friends who are in a car.
05:08And we started joking around
about being single at the GSB,
05:12some of you will also be
able to relate to that.
05:13[LAUGH] We were talking about
how rough it can be, and
05:17those questions that constantly plague us.
05:20Should I bring a notebook on my
ambiguity date at abako tomorrow?
05:26>> Can one of you please create an Excel
05:27tracker so I can know who's still single?
>> [LAUGH]
05:31>> But then all of a sudden
05:33the conversation turned to
something I didn't expect.
05:36My female classmate turned to me and
05:37said, Sadhna I don't think I'm going to
keep working once I get married.
05:42I doubt I'll find a husband who will
support my career ambition, I was shocked.
05:47This is Stanford's graduate
school of business.
05:51She went on to explain that
because women are more nurturing,
05:55it only makes sense that she is the only
expected to take care of her kids.
06:01And it turns out that my friend's
experience is not an anomaly.
06:07A recent Harvard business
review study shows,
06:10that single MBA women continue
to downplay their ambition.
06:14They continue to feel like there is
a trade off between ambition and marriage.
06:20On the first day of the MBA program these
students were asked to state their career
06:25When they were told that their
responses would be shared with
06:28their male classmates, they said that
they wanted to make $20,000 less.
06:33They also said that they're less able and
willing to lead.
06:40Shouldn't this concern
everybody in the room?
06:45We want women to be smart, loving,
nurturing, but never ambitious.
06:54To be honest with you, I even hesitated
to give a talk on female ambition.
06:58Because I thought one of you
in the room would hear it, and
07:01think that I was too ambitious.
07:03And then I realized, this is the problem.
07:08Research also shows that
women in the US spend 25
07:13hours per week on household tasks.
07:16Women that are working, and
their male counterparts in the same
07:21professional tier spend only ten
hours per week on household tasks.
07:26So what shows up in the homes and
classrooms in Kenya,
07:30actually shows up right here at the GSB.
07:33Even in the United States,
women carry the water.
07:41No matter where we are,
and no matter how rich,
07:46how poor, there is a common theme.
07:49All across the development curve,
we fail to support women's ambition.
07:57It's easy to hear this talk and to not
realize the personal implications of it.
08:02To be honest, I didn't realize
it until it happened to me.
08:07I recently found myself in
a situation where I was told,
08:12that there was no room for my ambition.
08:15I was a three year relationship with
a guy who I loved and wanted to marry.
08:21Yet time and time again in
the relationship, there were so
08:25many subtle and some not so subtle
signs that my ambition was a problem.
08:33that because I wanted to have a career
I wouldn't make a good mother.
08:38Or thoughts in my own head, that if I
just turn down my consulting offer after
08:43business school,
maybe I could make him love me more.
08:49But then in that moment,
I suddenly thought back to Dorothy, and
08:52all of the girls who I'd met in Kenya.
08:56I thought of my nine-year-old niece who
loves Bill Nye the Science Gu,y and
09:01wants to be a scientist when she grows up.
09:05With their faces in my mind,
I finally gathered the courage
09:09to leave the relationship rather
than to leave my ambition behind.
09:15In writing this talk I finally have
realized the answer to my question.
09:20I finally know what we can do
to help those girls in Kenya.
09:24And it starts with making
a change right here at the GSB.
09:29If you're a woman,
don't let someone else's expectations,
09:33dictate your level of ambition.
09:36Don't downplay your dreams for
somebody else.
09:39And if you're a man,
you play a huge role in all this.
09:44You have an amazing opportunity to
help women realize their ambition.
09:50Don't be afraid of ambitious women,
we don't bite, I promise.
09:55>> Date ambitious women, marry them,
09:58celebrate their accomplishments.
10:01In your future workplace, encourage women
to be ambitious and support their careers.
10:07And more tactically,
when you're in a domestic partnership,
10:11make sure you're taking on your share
of child's care and household work.
10:16Only then, when we all work together and
balance the load,
10:22can we make sure that women aren't
the only ones carrying the water,
10:28thank you.
>> [APPLAUSE]
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