00:00yo what's going on you guys it's Bill
00:01from Good Old Days gaming and I'm here
00:03to talk a little bit about what's been
00:05going on recently I made that video you
00:07may have seen it's gone now about um
00:11spending $10,000 for you know what I'm
00:13not going to repeat it
00:16uh it's true a lot of you guys like see
00:22um a lot of you guys are supportive and
00:25I appreciate you so much you have no
00:27idea how much I appreciate you guys
00:30but I have this thing that comes with
00:37where if you have something negative to
00:39say I hear that 10 times louder than
00:43like 20 people saying good things and
00:47so I remember a lot of the negative
00:50things that a lot of you guys have said
00:51like I can't believe you spent $10,000
00:54for a whole unsubscribing you're
00:57absolutely pathetic and stuff like that
01:01inel that's another one like if that's
01:04what you think then fine but if that's
01:07also what you think I think you need to
01:09kind of sit back reassess re-educate
01:12yourself and realize like you don't know
01:15what's been going on
01:18and first of all I never treat anybody
01:24so and as a viewer no offense but you
01:29don't know me me you don't know how I
01:31treat people that I come across on a
01:33daily basis so to call me an incel and
01:38to say like leveled up my incel skill
01:41and that I disrespect women or something
01:44like that's that's the most ridiculous
01:46thing I've ever heard cuz I've been
01:47nothing but respectful to the people
01:49I've met and to be honest the $110,000
01:53thing yeah it was a little shady and
02:00I mean I don't need to go into detail
02:02but yeah certain things were involved
02:05but you know what we did more than
02:06anything we talked we had conversation
02:09and shared company and that's what I
02:11needed more than anything um that's what
02:15I'm missing in my life I guess
02:18is just that oneon-one
02:23connection with somebody and so I've
02:27been taking myself out a lot more in
02:30into public and forcing myself to
02:33socialize because I value people a lot
02:36and I don't judge anybody for what they
02:38do like that's the thing that's another
02:40thing a lot of you people are like I
02:42can't believe that you would succumb so
02:49like first of all when you say something
02:52like that you're judging two people
02:54you're judging me for what I did which
02:57fine I don't care second you're judging
03:01that person for what they do and that I
03:03do care about because everybody is
03:05trying to get by in life and like shame
03:08on you for judging somebody for what
03:11they're doing like I met somebody I'm
03:13not going to go into detail but I met
03:16somebody who is doing what she does on
03:19the side to help her mother's heart
03:23condition because there's no faster way
03:26to get money to support those Health
03:28bills like that's admirable that's
03:31that's not like how dare you look down
03:34on them for what they do like I don't I
03:36don't know it's just I can't believe
03:38people can be so judgmental and
03:42cruel it's just yeah like I don't know
03:47man it just a lot of those negative
03:49comments rub me the wrong way and
03:53uh I guess what needs to be addressed as
03:55far as this channel goes I'm okay
03:58tomorrow I go to counseling and
04:01Psychiatry it's a joint appointment and
04:04I'm going to reassess my whole
04:06Behavioral Health and my medication and
04:09everything and uh we will see what
04:15happens I'm looking forward to it
04:18honestly because I want to analyze as a
04:21guy who has a psychology bachelor's
04:23degree I want to analyze my own behavior
04:26and understand it because I don't
04:28understand it like that's the thing like
04:30some of the stuff I've done some of the
04:32stuff I've said and just like being in
04:34the moment I felt so detached from
04:36myself not the point of
04:41like it's very weird and I want to get
04:45professional opinions on it and add my
04:48own brain to the mix and come to some
04:51conclusion so once I have that I can
04:55better explain myself and better discuss
04:58it with you or whoever wants to listen
05:04cares to that point cuz like I know my
05:07I've upset my family a lot and friends
05:09and stuff so like they're people who
05:11care and probably deserve an explanation
05:18just I don't know man it's there's a lot
05:20going on like I said I'll have more
05:22clarity tomorrow and I'll probably make
05:24a separate video talking about it if I
05:27really get that much Clarity but a lot
05:32professionals yeah for example I spent 3
05:36days in a behavioral hospital and all
05:39they did was switch my medication I
05:41didn't attend groups I didn't learn
05:43anything like when you tell somebody to
05:47get professional help you need to
05:50realize what you're saying to them and
05:53the fact that they've probably already
05:54tried and you need to understand that in
05:56the United States Healthcare is a
05:59atrocious like this it like professional
06:03help all right you're going to join in
06:06on how to find it cuz good luck it
06:09doesn't really exist very well in this
06:12country and uh when you seek help you
06:16also pay a lot of money I've got medical
06:20bills coming that I'm not prepared to
06:22pay and I'm not going to I refuse to pay
06:24them because I don't agree with it and
06:28uh yeah it's just you need to realize
06:31who you're talking to what you're saying
06:34and that you don't know everything cuz
06:35some people are so loud with their
06:38negativity and their judgment
06:42that like yeah it's just you need a
06:45reality check you're telling me to look
06:47in the mirror and look at myself and
06:49reassess what I did you need to do the
06:50same for yourself I'm like no no offense
06:53to everybody who's been supportive I
06:55love you guys but like those negative
06:57comments the people that have called me
06:59an incel the people that have said I
07:02don't respect women the people that have
07:04said I need to seek professional help
07:06like you need to realize where you're
07:08wrong because yeah I'm not going to take
07:12that crap cuz I know better I stand
07:14taller than that I don't stand very tall
07:17but I'm not going to let you guys bring
07:20me down like that because none of it's
07:22true what you're saying and I will
07:24delete those comments when I see them
07:26because they just spread negativity and
07:29I don't agree with that
07:32so yeah unsubscribe if you want to
07:36believe what you want to call somebody
07:38who thinks about suicide weak tell them
07:41that you're going to be remembered for
07:42nothing but weakness I don't care I have
07:45more of a heart than that because I've
07:47been there and so when people talk about
07:50that stuff I take it very seriously
07:53and I understand that it's not always in
07:57your control it's not always a choice
07:59it's not like choosing chicken for
08:00dinner versus ham like you there is some
08:04medical stuff underlying there's some
08:07family stuff underlying there's genetics
08:11there's all kinds of things it's not an
08:13easy answer and so for everybody who
08:16judges like just shame on you man like I
08:21I wish I could reach through the phone
08:22and slap you across the face I really do
08:25and you might wish the same on me but
08:27that's where we differ and so subscribe
08:29if you like I don't care but like it's
08:34yeah it's just this is real life man and
08:38so you know we're all trying to get by
08:42as far as the YouTube stuff we got Mass
08:44Effect going on right now I recorded
08:46that months ago when I came back from
08:48California before I ever went to Las
08:53uh I need to get back and finish Mario
08:56RPG I will I want to go to this therapy
09:00appointment and get more clarity first
09:02before I do and once I
09:06do maybe I'll be able to jump back into
09:09the making videos thing
09:13but yeah I don't know if this was a
09:16state of mania I've never had Mania in
09:18my life a lot of you guys were like this
09:20is Mania you're insane this is Mania if
09:22I've ever seen it maybe it was I don't
09:24know but yeah I don't know uh
09:32just it's a work in progress the brain
09:36crazy and uh I never meant to hurt
09:39anybody or upset anybody I have a lot
09:42I've reached out to family at least and
09:45a couple friends who reached out during
09:48that really dark period that I just had
09:50and I've tried my best to explain myself
09:53but like I said I won't have a way of
09:56explaining all of this until tomorrow's
09:58therapy y appointment
10:02so we'll see what happens and
10:06uh all all I can say is thank you for
10:09your support if you're still a patreon
10:12supporter I really appreciate you more
10:15than ever now because I'm in financial
10:18trouble from my own mistakes and medical
10:23and uh yeah your support means a lot to
10:27me I'm probably going to have to find a
10:29second job and get back to grunt labor
10:31like I'm used to uh I don't know how far
10:34this YouTube thing is going to go but
10:36it's not lost on me that it's plateaued
10:40so unless I do Zelda randomizers or
10:43something but like at the end of the day
10:46I'm a guy who plays video games I talk
10:49about real life none of that has changed
10:52so for the viewership to change doesn't
10:56really make sense it's hard to follow
11:00that's that's where we are
11:06uh it might not be it for everything it
11:10documented my childhood basically and so
11:14now what now we find a career and we
11:17move on with life maybe maybe YouTube is
11:19over but I would really like to get
11:22those 40,000 subscribers that I need to
11:25get to 100,000 and get the silver plaque
11:28just to at least I did it so I don't
11:31want to quit um I've got some games I've
11:35got Mario Galaxy and Mario Galaxy 2 and
11:39some other things that I could get into
11:41when I'm feeling a little bit better
11:44um it's not over it's just a bump in the
11:50road and like I said I take offense to
11:53some of the comments I got um and I
11:56appreciate immensely the support I got
11:59that I have not fully thanked I am
12:03grateful for your support whether I show
12:06it or not in the moment it's very
12:08complicated when I'm when I'm in a deep
12:10depression wave I ignore everybody and
12:14it's it's hard to explain why but it's
12:16for your protection and
12:20uh yeah so I'm not an
12:24incel I am a person who suffers with
12:28depression and potentially
12:30anxiety maybe even more than anybody's
12:34really been prone to diagnose I've
12:37talked about bipolar before but
12:39everybody has said no I don't show the
12:41Mania but what I've done recently might
12:45kind of conflict with that
12:48so anyway I'm not going to keep you too
12:50much longer I'm getting help I've always
12:53been getting help I've been getting help
12:54for 20 years it es and flows it's just
12:58just it's how it goes it was a really
13:03recently I just had dinner with my mom
13:06and talked a little bit with
13:08her I'm talking with family and we're
13:12trying to get out of this hole and carry
13:17on and you as a YouTube viewer you could
13:19you could give two shits and that's
13:23fine unsubscribe if you want to I don't
13:30uh yeah I realize the relationship
13:32between content creator and
13:34viewer you don't need to know all that
13:37stuff and so you can believe what you
13:39want to believe you can think of me how
13:41you want to think of me
13:44but just all those negative comments
13:47just know that you're wrong
13:50and just kind of like shame on you for
13:54thinking that maybe maybe look in the
13:56mirror and think twice about what you're
13:58saying saying and re-evaluate yourself
14:01maybe because we could all use that from
14:02time to time I don't think too highly of
14:09but I still have dignity and so for
14:12somebody to bury my name and reputation
14:14like that I don't agree with it and uh I
14:19will stand up against it
14:21so yeah that's where we are Mass Effect
14:26on I will try my best to get back to
14:29video making as soon as I can to finish
14:31Mario RPG and we will see what happens
14:35Mario galaxy from there and
14:40uh we'll see how far we can take this
14:45plaque but we will see thank you all
14:48immensely for your patience and support
14:50and understanding I love you guys and I
14:56soon keep on keep it on as they say I
15:00guess all right see you later
