Depression, Bad Memory, Crying and Anxiety Benzo Symptoms - and future fears - 12 Jun 2022

Elijah's Benzo Journey2022-06-13

Benzo#Benzodiazepines#Benzo taper#ashton manual#heather ashton#withdrawal#benzo withdrawal#diazepam (drug)#tapering#benzobuddies#benzo support#medical#hope and support#faith#antidepressants#zoloft (drug)#sertraline (drug)#ambien (drug)#zolpidem (drug)#depression#fear#family and friends#valium#tolerance#tolerance withdrawal

305 views|2 years ago

💫 Short Summary

The video features a person discussing their experience with benzodiazepine withdrawal, including symptoms such as anxiety, depression, jelly legs, tachycardia, and short-term memory issues. They also talk about the challenges of tapering off benzodiazepines and the lack of informed consent from their doctors. Despite the difficulties, they express determination to continue their journey towards recovery.

✨ Highlights

📊 Transcript

✦

The speaker discusses how benzos affect the nervous system, causing issues like anxiety, depression, jelly legs, and high heart rate.

00:00

Benzos have a significant impact on the nervous system, affecting various functions such as anxiety, depression, and even walking.

The speaker experiences jelly legs and a higher heart rate (tachycardia and POTS) when standing up.

Short-term memory issues and ruminating thoughts are also mentioned as major symptoms.

✦

The speaker talks about the challenges of tapering off benzos and the impact on their daily life and mental health.

02:15

Tapering off benzos can take a year or longer, with the subsequent healing process taking a couple of years.

The speaker is concerned about remaining functional during the tapering process, as they are the breadwinner for their family.

They express dislike for putting this burden on their family, but they have a supportive network and faith that helps them through the journey.

The speaker anticipates losing friends during this difficult journey.

✦

The speaker acknowledges the hellish experience of benzo withdrawal but looks forward to the strength it will bring in the future.

04:46

Benzodiazepine withdrawal is described as a hellish experience.

Going through this experience will make the speaker stronger and unfazed by future challenges.

The speaker acknowledges potential loss of friends during the withdrawal process.

They are determined to stay at their current dose of valium to avoid worse tapering in the future.

The speaker also mentions tackling their SSRI antidepressant after the benzo taper.

✦

The speaker is not happy about the long-term effects of benzos and the lack of informed consent from their doctors.

05:24

The speaker feels doctors did not fully inform them about the long-term effects of benzos.

Benzos are said to destroy lives and families, which the speaker is clearly upset about.

Despite the challenges, the speaker is determined to stay strong and encourages others to do the same.

00:00 hey everybody happy sunday today is june

00:03 12th

00:04 2022.

00:06 uh hope you all having a great day

00:10 got a window right now feeling pretty

00:12 good

00:13 um

00:15 one thing i just wanted to mention

00:16 what's really crazy is

00:19 how benzos affect your nervous system

00:24 i mean they

00:27 it's amazing

00:29 everything from

00:31 anxiety depression

00:34 eating

00:36 walking

00:37 like walking i have jelly legs

00:41 and it's uh

00:43 uh the heart rate stuff

00:46 i have

00:48 a little tachycardia and pots

00:51 pots is where you're sitting down your

00:53 heart rate's like you know 65 beats per

00:56 minute

00:57 and you stand up

00:59 and you're not even doing anything you

01:01 know

01:02 crazy and your heart rate's

01:04 automatically 120 130

01:08 and it's um

01:09 it's wild

01:11 but the biggest issue i'm having now

01:14 that i really hate

01:16 is

01:19 my short-term memory is crap

01:22 um

01:23[Music]

01:25 like i'll be doing something and then

01:27 i'll forget

01:32 uh

01:33 something so easily like i'll leave my

01:35 water down okay

01:37 and i'll go over here to fill my coffee

01:41 and then i'll be wondering where did i

01:43 lay my water

01:44 you know it's right there it's just you

01:47 forget things

01:50 in a ridiculous way

01:52 um

01:55 that's what i really hate the most

01:58 uh the other thing is the ruminating

01:59 thoughts

02:01 it's just crazy

02:04 non-stop thinking over and over and over

02:07 about stuff

02:11 but out of my worst symptoms

02:15 um

02:15[Music]

02:17 is the jelly legs

02:20 the short-term memory issues

02:25 in the awful

02:27 morning deep depression like depression

02:30 i've never felt

02:32 not a bad depression let's make that

02:34 clear okay

02:36 just a depression where

02:39 you feel like doom

02:42 and this accompanies

02:44 of course a bunch of crying and

02:46 everything

02:48 and i level out about 1pm and i know a

02:51 lot of this has to do with cortisol in

02:52 the morning and everything

02:53[Music]

02:55 but it's so unbearable i mean

02:59 you know we look fine from the outside

03:03 but it's the inside that

03:05 you know we're fighting this battle

03:08 and we get through it

03:10 um

03:10[Music]

03:12 like i mentioned in a previous video

03:15 um

03:17 you know tapering

03:19 you know you want to go on your symptoms

03:21 a taper-based approach

03:24 could take a year year and a half or

03:26 maybe longer for some people but then

03:28 after you're tapering

03:30 that's when the healing begins and the

03:31 healing can take a couple years

03:34 um

03:36 and

03:38 i know i'm gonna run into issues like i

03:40 did

03:40 last year when i cold turkeyed

03:42 everything

03:43 but it'll be much more mild because

03:45 it'll be stretched over a long period of

03:48 time

03:49 with tapering so i can remain functional

03:52 because i'm the breadwinner for my

03:53 family and i think that's why it has me

03:55 freaked out a little bit

03:58 is um being able to remain functional

04:03 um

04:04 through this journey even though i know

04:06 i have to go through it now

04:09 and when i'm old and i want my quality

04:11 of life

04:12 back um

04:14 i just hate putting this on my family i

04:16 mean

04:17 but i got great family i got a great

04:19 wife

04:20 daughter parents

04:22 sister friends and family

04:24 you know but when you're going through

04:26 this you feel alone you know

04:29 but thank goodness i got the lord jesus

04:32 on this uh

04:33 journey

04:35 with me because it's uh

04:38 words cannot describe the hell

04:42 that this is

04:44 but the good news is once you go through

04:46 it when you come out the other side

04:49 nothing phases you anymore

04:52 because of everything you're gonna go

04:53 through

04:54 so that's something actually to be

04:56 excited about um

04:58[Music]

05:00 but i know i'm gonna

05:02 probably lose friends through this

05:04 journey

05:07 um

05:08 you know i don't know what's to come i

05:09 don't want to predict

05:12 but it's uh

05:14 yeah one day at a time

05:17 one day at a time

05:20 um

05:22 i could easily mitigate this by going up

05:24 on my dose

05:27 of valium

05:28 but i'm not

05:30 and um

05:31[Music]

05:35 because that means my taper is going to

05:36 be worse in the future so

05:39 i'm staying where i am at 20 milligrams

05:41 of value

05:43 and take it from there

05:45 so

05:47 and then after that i'll tackle my ssri

05:50 antidepressant

05:51 i'm not depressed

05:55 well hold on

05:56 the benzo did that

06:00 when in the beginning a benzo is like a

06:02 miracle okay

06:04 but the thing i'm pissed about is

06:06 informed consent my doctors never told

06:08 me

06:10 what this did long term they said oh

06:12 yeah you can take it daily for anxiety

06:15 that's the one thing i'm pissed about

06:17 i'm totally pissed about it

06:21 because benzos destroy lives

06:24 families

06:25 everything

06:28 everything

06:31 and that's not a joke

06:37 so yeah so just thinking about it really

06:39 gets me worked up

06:50 but we're going to keep strong through

06:51 this

06:52 i'm not alone everybody else is going

06:55 through this journey with me

06:58 so

06:59 but i'll post the video

07:02 keep kicking butt and we're gonna get

07:04 through this y'all

07:05 be cool

07:07 peace

💫 FAQs about This YouTube Video

1. What are the main physical symptoms of benzo withdrawal discussed in the video?

The main physical symptoms of benzo withdrawal discussed in the video include jelly legs, tachycardia, POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome), and short-term memory issues.

2. How does the person in the video describe the emotional effects of benzo withdrawal?

The person in the video describes the emotional effects of benzo withdrawal as including deep depression, morning depression, and ruminating thoughts.

3. What is mentioned as the biggest challenge in the benzo withdrawal process?

The biggest challenge in the benzo withdrawal process is the tapering phase, which can take a year or more, followed by the healing phase that can take a couple of years.

4. Why does the person in the video feel alone during the benzo withdrawal process?

The person in the video feels alone during the benzo withdrawal process despite having a supportive family and faith, highlighting the isolating nature of the experience.

5. What is emphasized as a crucial aspect of benzo withdrawal?

The video emphasizes the importance of informed consent and the long-term effects of benzo use, highlighting the destructive nature of benzos and the lack of awareness around their potential for harm.

🎥 Related Videos