00:00What's up everybody? This is Charlie from
Charisma on Command and today I want to show
00:03you a video on how to be persuasive when you
need people to change, because the truth is,
00:09there are situations in our lives, like our
social lives, where you don't have to be persuasive.
00:13If you don't get along with someone, guess
what? You can just filter them out of your
00:16life and keep the people that are positive
that lift you up.
00:19But in certain situations, particularly the
working world, if you're in a large organization
00:24or you just have some people beneath you,
where you're trying to get some team to do
00:27something that you want, you are going to
have to work with people who disagree with
00:31you, and you can't just filter them out. So
you need to know how to be persuasive against
00:35obstinacy. So this video is going to show you Barack
Obama speaking on one of the more recent shootings
00:41that happened just a few days ago at the time
of this. And he follows these steps very,
00:46very well, regardless of where your politics
fall on this issue, there is a lot to learn
00:50from this, so let's dive in.
00:53But, as I said, just a few months ago, and
I said a few months before that, and I said
01:01each time we see one of these mass shootings,
our thoughts and prayers are not enough.
01:07So what you see right here, this is the first
step, is you need to introduce the problem
01:11that you have in your organization, wherever
you need people to change, whatever you're
01:14doing is not working. And the first step is
going to be to show that to people and associate
01:19pain to the status quo. So just watch what
he does here.
01:31It does not capture the heartache,
and grief, and anger that we should feel,
01:37and it does nothing to prevent this carnage
from being inflicted some place else in America.
01:43So there you go, there's the problem, there's
the current pain. He said, "This is going
01:46to happen again and it's gonna suck, and we
should all feel terrible about it." Now, I
01:50wanna bounce around here a little bit because
I want to show you as he continues this point
01:54right here to elicit further pain with the
status quo.
01:59Somehow this has become routine.
02:04The reporting
is routine. My response here at this podium
02:11ends up being routine. The conversation in
the aftermath of it, we've become numb to this.
02:22And you see the emotion that he's eliciting
is like almost shame or embarrassment at how
02:26frequently this occurs, and he's gonna go
running into all these negative cultural feelings
02:31that we have associated with the different
times this happened, and _ this right now.
02:36We talked about this after Columbine and Blacksburg,
after Tucson, after Newtown, after Aurora,
02:49It cannot be this easy for
somebody who wants to inflict harm on other
02:54people to get his or her hands on a gun.
02:57So there you go. That is step 1. This sucks,
what we are living in right now is terrible.
03:02When people don't want to change, the first
step is not to tell them how wonderful it
03:06will be when they change or start to do anything
else. The first step is to get them moving,
03:10and to do that, you have to make them associate
the status quo, the current action or inaction
03:15that they are taking with serious pain. And
he does that very well in the opening of this speech.
03:21I am gonna bounce around and go back because
I want to make this very clear. He does sort
03:24of go back and forth between some of these
steps, but, moving now, I want to show you
03:28the second step, which is going to be handling
objections before people actually bring them
03:33up. You do not want to have to wait until
after you talk for people to say, "Well, you
03:37didn't cover this or you didn't cover that,"
or "How are we supposed to do this?" You need
03:40to preemptively handle any objections, and
like two-thirds or three-quarters of this speech
03:45is just him handling the objections that he
knows he's going to get, so let's check it out.
03:51And it's fair to say that anybody who does
this has a sickness in their minds, regardless
04:02of what they think their motivations may be,
but we are not the only country on earth that
04:12has people with mental illnesses or want to
do harm to other people. We are the only advanced
04:21country on earth that sees these kinds of mass shootings every few months.
04:27So, boom, there's your first objection. He
goes to like six or seven of these. I'm going
04:31to show you a couple of them as he bounces
around. What you need to know, you need to
04:34put yourself into the shoes of the people
you're trying to convince. Why did they think
04:38it is impossible for them to change? Why did
they think it isn't a good idea for them to
04:42change? And you need to cover that and deal
with those objections first.
04:47It shouldn't be a dialogue where you go and
they go, "Oh, yeah, what about this?" Because,
04:50now, they are dug into their position. The
more you can preemptively address the
04:55objection, the less strong the objection becomes.
So I wanted to show you a couple more examples
05:00at the risk of being _ of this objection handling.
05:04And what's become routine, of course, is
the response of those who oppose any kind
05:08of common sense gun legislation. Right now,
I can imagine the press releases being cranked
05:16up. We need more guns, they'll argue; fewer
gun safety laws.
05:25The way to think about objections, oddly enough,
what it reminds me of is the movie 8 Mile,
05:29the very last scene where Eminem is rapping
against the guy. He has rapped, that is the
05:33best scene in the entire movie, is where he
says everything that could be said negatively
05:37about him before his opposition. That's how
to think about presenting these objections.
05:41You don't want to do it in a way where you
just say it. You need to come up with a reason
05:44why those objections are not valid, but if
you do that, you will leave the people who
05:48are naysayers, who do not want to change,
with nothing to hold on to, so it's so important.
05:53Get in their shoes and think of the other
objections that they might come up with.
05:58There are scores of responsible gun owners
in this country. They know that's not true.
06:02So, now, we're moving into the third step
which is going to be consistency, right? We've
06:06associated the problem with pain. We dealt
with objections. Now, what we need to do is
06:10convince people that the course of action
that we want them to take is actually consistent
06:15with their current identity. You do not want
to be convincing people that they need to
06:19make massive changes, even if the changes
are really massive changes, because people
06:23naturally resist change.
06:25What they will move towards, though, is seeing
that, "Hey, maybe this thing that I didn't
06:29realize is, like me, actually is," right?
So that's why he says, "responsible gun owners."
06:34He's not trying to tell people "give up all
your guns." He's saying, the responsible thing
06:38to do because you're a responsible person,
aren't you? Is to follow my course of action.
06:44We know because of the polling that says that
majority of Americans understand that we should
06:49changing these laws, including the majority
of responsible law-abiding gun owners.
06:54The objection to what Obama says a lot of
the times regarding guns is that if you follow
06:58the law and you're responsible, there's not
a problem. He has grouped those people into
07:03his side and made them consistent with his
beliefs by saying, "Look at the thing, look
07:07at the social proof. We got all these polls
that say this is what people like you want
07:11to do," very, very powerful. And we're gonna
continue now with more and more handling of
07:17News organizations, because I won't put these
facts forward, have news organizations tally
07:23up the number of Americans who've been killed
through terrorist attacks over the last decade
07:28and the number of Americans who've been killed
by gun violence. And post those side by side
07:36on your news reports. This won't be information
coming from me. It will be coming from you.
07:40I think this is the most brilliant part of
the entire speech and it's the part, a few
07:44days later, that he's getting the most coverage
because the news organizations did, in fact,
07:48do what he said. This is still Step 3: Consistency.
You need to make people feel like it is part
07:54of their identity to change. And the way that
you do this is not by preaching at them, showing
07:58them stats and statistics. You give them ownership
of the argument and that's what he's done here.
08:04He says, "I'm not gonna put this in front
of you, you should go out, look at these numbers,
08:08do it on your own," and guess what happens
when that occurs? The news stations, the people
08:13that are looking for these numbers, they retain
personal ownership of this fact, and it begins
08:17to move them more than if Obama stood up there
with a chart and said, "Look at this. You
08:21need to accept this." In that case, they'd
be resisting, but because they're going and
08:25doing it on their own, there is implicit ownership
there; so, so, so huge.
08:33We spend over a trillion dollars and pass
countless laws and devote entire agencies
08:40to preventing terrorist attacks on our soil,
and rightfully so.
08:44So what's he doing here? He's comparing something
that people already are supportive of and
08:49are already do, which is spending money to
prevent terrorist attacks, right? A lot of
08:52money, and he says that's a great idea. He's
on your side. And what he's about to do is
08:56take that preexisting action and say why it's
like what he wants you to do in the future.
09:02Again, if you need people to change, it is
far, far easier to convince them that the
09:06thing that you want them to do is basically
what they've been doing in the past with a
09:10shift. It's not this whole new thing. They
don't have to become a brand new type of person.
09:14They don't have to give up their most deeply
held values and beliefs. They just need to
09:18see things in a slightly different perspective
and when they do that, what they'll see is that
09:22this is actually the type of person they are--a
responsible gun owning, law abiding citizen
09:27is gonna be someone who is in favor of this.
09:29When Americans are killed in mine disasters,
we work to make mines safer. When Americans
09:34are killed in floods and hurricanes, we make
communities safer.
09:39Again, you can see where he's going here,
still Step 3. He's saying, look at all these
09:43things that we already do, how we already
handle this. This is a logical extension.
09:47Gun safety is a logical extension of the way
that we help protect people from weather and
09:51mines and all these kinds of things.
09:52The last thing that he is going to do here
is going to be to make and ask. It's kind
09:57of a humbling ask right here, and he just
says that he needs help.
10:03I'd ask the American people to think about
how they can get our government to change
10:07these laws, and this is not something that
I can do by myself. I got to have Congress
10:14and I got to have state legislatures
10:16So right here, Obama goes through and just
lists all the people that he needs, but this
10:19is what you have to do at the end of any of
these speeches that you're giving. If you're
10:23trying to get people on board, you cannot
drag them. You need to say, "I need your help,"
10:28and ask at the end, because it is an ask.
10:30At the end of the day, you cannot make anyone
do anything, that is not what persuasion is.
10:35It is getting them to want to do things, to
take ownership over an idea that maybe started
10:40in your head, but that you helped cultivate
in theirs, so those are the 5 steps. Actually,
10:45there's one that Barack Obama missed that
I like to do whenever I'm trying to persuade
10:48people, which is the fourth step, from people
that you ask is to detail, an explicit detail,
10:54what it would look like if things went well
with your new plan, so that you don't just
10:57have people running away from a status quo
of pain, but you have them running towards
11:01something that is really exciting.
11:02So if you add those together, what you have
is, first, illustrate the problem and associate
11:07pain to it. Second, preemptively deal with
any objections that you have researched and
11:11you know that your audience has. Three, convince
them that your plan of action is actually
11:16consistent with the type of person that they
are and the type of person that they want
11:20to be. It's a logical extension of their current
value system, not a deviation from it. And
11:25then, fourth, which is not seen here, paint
the heaven that happens if they go in the
11:29direction that you like them to. And, fifth,
end with an "ask." You cannot force them to.
11:33You need to just ask.
11:35So, hope that has been helpful.
11:37If you like this and you want to get more
of them on YouTube, please subscribe to the
11:41channel, thumbs up it, and, of course, what
is most helpful to me is if you write a comment
11:44with a specific video of a charisma breakdown
that you'd like me to do, that helps so, so
11:49much. This is Charlie Houpert and I hope you
found this helpful.
